【MLP】《遁》(7)泊地 冒险 中篇小说
7. 泊地
7. Anchorage
两峦其中绿意涌来，
如幕垂下林地长青：
底有岩洞石座覆苔，
海仙安憩热潮难进。
——鳚吉尔，《埃涅阿斯纪》
华达呢卧室的墙上有相当大的面积都被那扇格子玻璃窗所占据，因此，当明亮的光芒破窗而入，洒落在他的床上时，即便在被子底下，他还是不得不用一条前腿遮住眼睛。与热辣的阳光截然相反的是，凉风从敞开的房门溜了进来，还捎来了煎饼的诱马香味。他倒的确想在床上赖到合适的时间——大概是中午吧——再起床，但这股香气向他的决心发动了猛烈的进攻。毕竟他现在可是一位男爵。他想睡到什么时候就能睡到什么时候。不过，他怀疑老管并不会把早餐带到他的床边。或许折中妥协还是有必要的：说不定他能把床移到厨房里。
“早上好啊，华达呢男爵先生！”尽管华达呢用薄薄的被子捂住了脑袋，小海马穿过甲板时所发出的独特的哧溜和啪嗒声还是传进了他的耳朵，“我在外面找到了你的邮件。你有两个盒子，大的那个一摇晃就会当啷当啷地响。你准备起床吗，华达呢先生？”
唉，起床终究还是不可避免，注定要发生的。华达呢从被子底下探出了鼻子，注视着那匹同样看着他的小海马。“是啊。”对于一个并不复杂的问题，这个回答似乎就已经足够了，但这又让他想起了另一个不得不面对的麻烦。
当华达呢看着涟漪的时候，他感到一阵寒战一直沿着脊背传到了他的尾巴尖，而他的心也怦怦跳了起来。他突然记起自己昨晚睡觉前不小心把那份满是涂鸦的草稿寄给了塞拉斯蒂娅公主，而且上面还有这匹小海马以及她母亲的画像。让事态更加复杂的是他明明送出去了的那封信居然正摆在床头柜上，就在它最后放在的那个位置，中间还缠着一条小小的红绸带。这绝对不是他做的。
这封不该存在的信的旁边还有两个有点湿的盒子。它们一大一小，但上面都有着代表两位公主殿下的金日与银月。在一小段时间的思索过后，他判断单凭盯着它们流汗不止并不能让他发现盒子里装的东西是什么。于是乎，华达呢下了床，考虑着该先开哪个盒子。
在中心城过暖炉节(Hearth's Warming Eve)的时候，会当啷响的盒子里面的礼物是最好的。
打开这个大盒子还是有点麻烦的，但他自己并没有太注意到，尤其是因为涟漪明亮而专注的双眼正紧紧盯着他的一举一动。盒子里面放着一张崭新挺括的纸，上面同样标着金银的日月。他深吸了口气，然后大声读了起来。
寄：塞拉斯蒂娅公主殿下与露娜公主殿下
收：刚刚获得了可爱标记的涟漪
亲爱的涟漪：
请接受我们就你获得可爱标记一事对你表示的祝贺。这是你一生中最欢乐的时刻之一，而此等的欢乐应当与其他小马共同分享。尽管我们不能亲自到场，但请务必了解我们也为这美好之事而感到欣喜万分。
我们附赠了几件礼物，相信它们能对你的特殊才能有所助益。首先，你能在这个盒子里找到一整套工具箱——
“真酷！”涟漪跳上跳下，每当她的鳍与地板接触时都会发出啪嗒声，“我能看看吗？我能看看吗？”
华达呢抬起一边眉毛，继续读了下去。
——华达呢男爵将会在读完这封信之后将它交给你。另外，我们还附赠了一些龙火羊皮纸卷轴供你使用。我的妹妹与我都非常喜爱阅读华达呢男爵寄给我们的报告，如果你们两个都能继续为我们例行写信，我们会深表感激。
最后但同样重要的是，我们还在包裹中包括了一个鬃夹，我们两个的标志都铭刻于上。无论何时，你都能将它出示给任何一名卫兵以与我们中的任何一马会见，如果你愿意的话，共同会见我们二姐妹亦可。
谨上，
塞拉斯蒂娅公主与露娜公主
“太酷了。”涟漪轻声说道。她接过那金银相间的鬃夹，骄傲地把它举了起来，让它沐浴在射入卧室的阳光之中。塞拉斯蒂娅公主的可爱标记上的耀斑紧贴着露娜公主的新月，它们吻合得天衣无缝，让华达呢想起了两块同样吻合的拼图。涟漪用它夹住了经常滑落到她眼前的那一束紫色鬃毛。在她的头上，鬃夹似乎更为美丽了。这简直是天作之合，就好像它一直都应当属于那里，只不过这个事实刚刚才为马所知。
他咧嘴笑了起来，对着正在镜子前端详自己的涟漪不吝赞美。接下来，她拆开了小马国皇家工程兵团海军工具箱（个马版）[Royal Equestrian Engineering corps Naval Toolkit (Personal)]，把里面的东西摊在了房间里的每一个水平的平面上，而华达呢则把自己刚刚的行为重复了一遍。直到老管把鼻子探进房间，声明烤吐司机已经停止运行，并且表达了自己对会不会有哪匹小马有空修它的疑问，涟漪才暂时放下对她奇妙工具箱的详细检查。一眨眼的工夫，工具就全都回到了箱子里，未来的工程师也带着她现有的工具箱消失在了门外。某位老管家跟在后面，他沾沾自喜的表情看上去实在可疑。
剩下的那个小盒子还静静地待在桌子上，华达呢和涟漪之前都忽视了它，但现在他已经没有理由不去将它打开，看看里面是什么了。二十五只纤细的银环躺在里面，它们上面都刻着一对交错的齿轮：那是小马国皇家工程兵团的标志。盒子里同样还有一只小一点的银环，挂在上头的小标签表明它是留待日后经家长允许方能使用。盒子里没有说明，但华达呢认出了银环上附的魔法。它们都可以被佩戴在独角兽的角上，他猜测给海马用也没有问题。在黑漆漆的夜里，抑或是在暴风雨之中，它们可以被当作归航信号，也能让附近的小马国卫兵辨认佩戴者的身份。
他关上了盒子，思考着这些东西与它们未来的用途。即便是在逃离了海洋里的家园之后，这些害羞而又惊恐的海马们还是在小马国里找到了容身之处，找到了能让她们从磨难中恢复的地方。她们需要这里来让自己的生活重归平静，就好像河里的拖船也需要她们来保护自己不被危险难测的河水伤害一样。她们如同一块旧拼图里不再契合的拼图块，但却在这里寻得了新的归宿，而周围所有的小马们也都因此受益良多。
随着一声几乎就要跃乎耳边的“咔哒”，他自己的命运也明朗了。他便是填补最后一片空白的那一小块拼图。他把盒子放到一边，向城堡的厨房与那里的两匹小马走去。
那就是他归属的地方。
~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~
华达呢勋爵，现任濆恩男爵，正倚在他的船屋/城堡的栏杆上，注视着海马们在染上余晖的湖水里嬉戏打闹，她们欢笑与戏水的声音传进了他的耳朵。每一匹海马的角上都戴着一只崭新的银环。在这个距离，他几乎完全看不见它们，只有在海马们浮出水面，把鬃毛甩到脑后的时候，他才能看见那一缕微弱的闪光。
尽管她们经历了种种艰难困苦才来到这里，她们还是如此的天真可爱。即使在百般的磨难之后，她们依旧热爱着存在本身，享受着生活本身，而这是宫廷里的贵族们永远都理解不了的。要是华达呢把他写的信都寄出去了的话，他多年以来一直摇尾乞怜的那些对象就会蜂拥而来，单单就是为了利用这些他自己都才刚刚了解的海马们。
中心城一直都是他的家，自从他的童年开始，他就一直在错综复杂而又苦涩难言的政治漩涡之中挣扎。现在，是时候换一片比他的家要远为宜马的水域畅游了。或许，当他偶尔回中心城去履行自己的新职责时，他也能为那座高山带来几分这样的纯真。
在这里，他能勉强看见中心城山顶上的云朵，它们明亮而洁白，在落日的余晖下如同信标一般闪耀着。也许在某种意义上，那就是公主们一直在做，将来也会继续去做的事情。她们的存在本身便能为小马们与所有其他的生物提供一个效仿的榜样，提供一个奋斗的目标。这是个挺有深度的想法，他一边思索着，一边沐浴在夕阳的光芒里，听着海马们嬉戏的声音，直到湖里溅起的水突然打断了他的思路。
波顿克沮丧而又响亮地嘎嘎叫了一声，从湖面上飞了起来，又伴着湿羽毛与甲板接触的吧唧声落在了华达呢的蹄边。就在他身后，涟漪又溅起了一圈水花，她抬头望着，高喊：“这不公平！玩抓鸭游戏的时候不能躲到没水的地方！噢，你好啊，小华先生。你想和我们一起玩吗？太阳马上就要下山了。”
华达呢花了一点时间整理自己被打乱的思绪，然后点了点头。“这个主意好极了，涟漪。给我一点时间，我去写个我一直拖着没写的东西，写完我就来。”
华达呢点亮了自己的角，而它底端的那个环也闪出了微弱的银光。他在塞拉斯蒂娅给他的最后一块附魔羊皮纸上匆匆书写了一小会，然后便将它点燃，看着它化作一缕烟尘，飘向远方的中心城。这是最后一块就位的拼图，不过在未来还会有更多拼图待他解决。海马们仍旧在湖的另一端戏水嬉闹，但他的目光却停在了其中一匹上。他的嘴角翘了起来，形成了一个快乐的微笑。
华达呢大步走向甲板的上半部分，朝着突出的船头前进。他小心地把领带挂在了旁边的一根桅杆上，停在了船头尖端的边缘。他点亮了自己的角，施放了一个水下呼吸咒，伏下了身子。远处，海马们泼水的声音逐渐消失了，她们紧盯着这位平日古板的男爵，观察着他这不寻常的举动。
他纵身一跃。
这远非是那种干净利落的入水。其实，它可能连“跳水”两个字都担不起。比较合适的说法是：他非常尴尬地肚皮落水，溅起了惊马的一大片水花，然后在水下毫无经验地扑腾着。不过，周围的海马观众们还是向他致以欢呼，其中一位年轻的母亲和她的小女儿表现得尤为热情。他在她们面前探出了脑袋，甩了甩鬃毛上的水，而她们则报以欢快的笑声。
“所以这是不是说你还要再等一段时间才回家了啊，小华？”珍珠问道，她用一只鳍朝他泼水，咧嘴笑了起来。
“你可以这么说。”华达呢说，他的脸上也挂着相同的笑容。
濆恩男爵领
官方马口普查（最终修订版）
永久居民
壹（一）位濆恩男爵领总管，赭土。
壹（一）位濆恩男爵，华达呢。
暂住居民
肆（四）只鸭子（一只成年，三只未成年）。
您忠实的仆从，
华达呢，濆恩男爵
- - - - 分割线 - - - -
塞拉斯蒂娅公主与露娜公主：
为了你们为我们所做的一切，我谨代表我领地中的臣民与我自己向你们致以谢意。
我发自心底地感谢你们。
小华
作者评论，闲扯，与酷炫的脚注[1]
Author Comments, Ramblings, and Footnotes of Awesomeness
[1] 此章与正文关系不大，且含有大量难以理解的外国梗与圈内梗，甚至还有荤段子，经过尝试，我发现自己实在是无力翻译，只能在此贴出原文，还望读者谅解。
正如，黎民百姓暴动正酣，
声音嘈杂行为狂乱；
石块火把攒射怒喧，
烈焰高燃铸犁为剑：
此时，德高望重尊长现身，
众者谛听肃立噤声；
妙言慧语平息怨愤，
嗜血渴望渐而消遁：
——鳚吉尔，《埃涅阿斯纪》
First, I would like to thank the individual who gave me the idea for this story. I think it was GhostOfHeraclitus, but I can't find the actual email/messaging exchange, possibly because it happened before Google put archiving on Hangouts. As best my spotty memory can recall, the conversation (with whoever it was) went vaguely like this:
Me: I need to do a story where there's a barony in a valley that winds up split in half along a river, where one son gets one half and the other son gets the other half, but the third son gets the river.
Ghost: And it's full of seaponies?
Me: (pause) Yeah.
Between my editors and myself, we had a few somewhat vigorous discussions and comment sessions that just had to be reproduced for the edification of the readers, or at least any of them named Ed. (That is what Edification means, right?) The quotes from The Aeneid come from the public domain translation, with just the smallest change to Virgil to make him more of a seapony. (Get it? Virgil? Virgill? … I'll see myself out.)
Chap. 1
(Where the Barony of Fenwick is mentioned)
GhostOfHeraclitus: Their Pinot Grand Fenwick is, I am told, simply to die for.
:)
(I dare you to work in the phrase 'the pony who roared' into this) ;)
(Reflections on the name of Gaberdine)
Seether00: Oh, it's a guy. I kept thinking that with a name like that it he was a she
Georg: k, just for illustration's sake, I went through and green/yellowed each his/he in the previous several sentences. There's 11 of them. 12 if you count 'Lord'
(On the discussion of the Equestrian budget being 137,000 bits per minute)
Georg: 72 billion bits a year. Seem high or low?
Peter: No way to tell without some idea of the buying power of the bit. What is the usual wage per hour for instance is a good place to start.
Southpaw: It's good as a high enough number to make the point. It doesn't have to equal the budget of a nation like the US - Equestria doesn't have aircraft carriers. ;)
BluePaladin: I want to say the buying power of the bit is probably meant to be around the dollar mark, given how freely those little gold coins (plated, perhaps?) are thrown around.
Ghost: Less gold content than seawater, your basic bit. That's not even gold. Rubs off too fast. Brass. Even that's too expensive, truth be told. Also it while it is true we don't have aircraft carriers, we do have airborne pegasi carriers and those cost a pretty penny. The protective spells alone cost over... anyway. I'd take aircraft carriers and half of Pentagon in trade for the Parasprite Preparedness Fund and half of the MONHUNGENCOM infrastructure. --D.H.L.
Personally, I assume a bit is exactly one dollar and work from there. It's a daft notion[1] but it helps keep some sort of perspective.
Taking that into consideration, 72e9 is too few bits. But I doubt anyone (anyone not virtually present, at any rate) is going to bother multiplying let alone figuring out the economics of it. It sounds like a reasonably vast sum.
[1] I can't even blame parochialism. I've only ever seen a dollar once.
Ferret: Can we please keep these footnotes? Or can Ghost put them in the comments? It's such an amusing contrast in writing styles.
("Yes, Your Highness. Or my second-eldest brother Plum, in the event Elderberry is unable to carry on the family name.")
Peter: in other words if his plums don't work?
Georg: Boo!
Seether: Oh c'mon. Throw the guy a bone....er
Anon: not his fault it might be difficult to raise the flagpole.
Georg: Ahhh!!! You perverts... I love you all, you know that, right? :)
(Discussions on paddlewheel vs. Sidewheel steamships)
Peter: Ah, I see. Sternwheeler vs sidewheeler.
BluePaladin: Sidewheel 4lyfe!
Seether00: Oh dear. He is in deliverance country now.
Georg: Oh, if only I had a good spot for Sen to whip out a banjo...
Ferret: Just mention someone's playing a banjo out of sight n___n
(On discussions of Gaberdine's new career)
As a noble, it would be his responsibility to fritter away a certain amount of bits on irresponsible hobbies that could be used as conversation starters at court.
Ghost: Ah. I see he has learned the art of being a noble from Canterlot ponies. Good. We needed more of those. --D.H.L.
(Yes, I am writing comments in character. No, I have no excuse)
BluePaladin: Now now, Dotted. It keeps them busy, after all. Otherwise, they might actually start to consider what powers they do still posses. I do rather wish they would stop having croquet, or racquetball, or what-have-you tournaments in the middle of the streets though.
Ferret: True, but is that better than them trying to actually exert their supposedly dictatorial powers? Or worse yet, try to influence court.
(Then he could return to Canterlot as Baron Gaberdine of Fen, much as several of his peers were barons or viscounts of bits of land so small that a stone could be thrown completely across them from one border to the next.)
Southpaw: Princess Celestia, giving the young nobility what they need instead of want: a healthy dose of humility for the future.
Georg: Some misguided youth just need a little size 14W golden hoofed nudge to direct them in a more useful direction.
(Reflections on IHTFP -- The crusty old pony gestured to an arch over the gangplank with IHTFP painted in large letters, and below in smaller golden script, the words S.S. Paradise IV.)
Georg: This is an in-joke by the way, it can stand for I Have Truly Found Paradise, or I Hate This Fucking Place.
Ghost: :D
Ferret: As it should be n_n
Editors note: It's also a very long in-joke at MIT.
(For a long moment, Gaberdine considered just climbing back into the carriage and flying home. This was obviously one of Princess Celestia’s epic pranks, and he was the punch line.)
Ghost: Random aside:
It is said that Princess Celestia likes to play pranks on senior members of the civil service just to see what they'll do. Dotted Line endeavors to avoid the prank by simply not being where the Princess expects him to be and not doing what she expects him to do. Spinning Top responds by erasing all evidence that the prank ever took place.
Leafy Salad, on the other hoof, responded by alphabetizing celestia's rooms. Including the furniture. And everything in the furniture.
BluePaladin: I am imagining Luna trying to Prank Dotted, and spending a week desperately trying to out think him long enough to actually put a pie in his face. On Wednesday, Celestia told Luna if she actually manages, she will buy her that expensive telescope she has been eyeing lately.
(It only took a light magical touch on the dragonfire-imbued scroll for it to burst into green fire and flow out of the room in a trail of smoke, vanishing off to the north on its rendezvous with Princess Celestia, who would get it almost at the exact moment she was lowering the sun for the day.)
Peter: I have this sudden vision of Spike earning spending money by contributing a supply of dragon fire to the paper manufacturer.
Georg: So Twilight, why do you have me scheduled in at Minutette's to have my teeth cleaned every month of this year, and does it have anything to do with the new jewelry she's been buying?
Ferret: giggles helplessly
(The old baron must have been a fairly competent unicorn, from the number of waterproofing spells around his small but tidy bedroom and extensive library. )
BluePaladin: In fairness, it's unlikely any suites would be below the waterline. Unless I miss my guess, this boat is meant to be evocative of the famous American Riverboats (Especially casino boats) with the crown topped smoke stacks and great paddlewheels. Those things possessed an absurdly shallow draft and a nearly flat bottom. They were also quite tall. Tall enough that if they sunk, the top few decks would sit safely above the water line once the bottom hit the riverbed.
...
Seether00: You know what I'm going to say here:
Everyone said it was daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.
It sank to the swamp. So I built a second one. It sank into the swamp. I built a third one. It burned down, fell over than sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!
("I don’t see what relevance this has to a third barony," said Gaberdine. "If one son took everything west of the river, and the other son took everything east of it……" The riverboat they were on took that moment to lurch slightly at its moorings and Gaberdine paused to consider just exactly how convoluted Princess Celestia could be when provoked.)
Ghost: That's nothing! During the highly annoying breakup of house Canter, she awarded one particularly annoying noble a third of all land (the middle third), excepting the third of that land (the middle third) and of those parts that were left, the Crown took a third (a middle third, as it happens) and of parts thus remaining the Crown took exactly a third (the middle third) and...
Six cartographers were driven insane, and an entire branch of mathematics had to be invented because of that little fracas. And then there was the business with House Sierpinski over in Stalliongrad. Yeesh. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of that one. --D.H.L.
Yes, it's a math joke. No, I don't have any shame.
Ferret: No shame for such math jokes is truly a good thing.
(After waiting a sufficient amount of time to put a dent in the glass of admittedly fine whiskey/cleaning solution and to see if the old pony was about to admit the joke, Gaberdine continued, "How many 'seaponies' are there in the river?")
Ghost: One of my favorite jokes so far on account of being quiet.
Georg: Credit goes to Tek on this one. I think. Or Peter. One of them suggested it. They've both been a godsend.
(There was a sudden silence, followed by a piercing scream. "I got my cutie mark! Look! Look!")
Ferret: What does a cutie mark for saving nobles from steam look like?
BluePaladin: A disappointed Dotted Line.
Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed the trip down the river, and I hope to see you all soon as I continue writing.
Keep your boiler hot
--Georg (and the rest of the crew)
