美国如何让在职父母失败——以及他们需要什么才能茁壮成长

这场大流行病使美国的看护危机成为焦点，而这为父母提供了支持。活动家和编码女孩的创始人 Reshma Saujani 提出了一个解决这个问题的建议——她称之为妈妈的马歇尔计划——她解释了它旨在建立完全不同的系统以赋予在职父母权力的方式。（这次对话由 TED 时事策展人 Whitney Pennington Rodgers 主持，是独家 T...

I found myself in the pandemic with two little kids, working full time. And Girls Who Code got a Super Bowl ad, I mean, we were on top of the world. And the pandemic hit and I found myself having to go back to work, take care of a newborn homeschool a six-year-old, you know, and save my global nonprofit from being shut down. And I think my entire leadership team was mostly working parents, working moms, and many of us were saying, "Well, when the schools open, everything will be okay." And when the schools didn't open and they came up with this idea of hybrid learning, you just saw millions of women being pushed out of the labor force. So we lost, you know, again, decades of progress in nine months.

我发现自己和两个小孩在大流行中， 全职工作。 编程女孩得到了超级碗广告， 我的意思是，我们在世界之巅。 大流行病袭来 ，我发现自己不得不回去工作， 照顾一个 6 岁的新生家庭学校， 你知道，我的全球非营利组织免于被关闭。 而且我认为我的整个领导团队主要是在职父母， 在职妈妈， 我们中的许多人都在说，“好吧，当学校开学时， 一切都会好起来的。” 当学校没有开学 并且他们提出了这种混合学习的想法时， 你就会看到数百万女性被赶出劳动力市场。 因此，我们再次在九个月内失去了数十年的进步。

And the reason why women had to leave the workforce was because half of our daycare centers were shut down. When you relied on elderly parents to come in and help you with caretaking work, they were no longer there or available because everyone was terrified of this pandemic. You know, for far too long,Americans have always paid more for their childcare than they pay for their mortgage. It is the largest cost center of families.And so when there were no kind of, available centers of care,women, who were already doing two thirds of the caretaking work, had to supplement basically, their paid labor for unpaid labor. And you just, again, saw decades of progress just vanish overnight.

女性不得不离开劳动力市场 的原因是我们有一半的日托中心被关闭了。 当您依靠年迈的父母来 帮助您照顾工作时， 他们不再在那里或可用 ，因为每个人都对这种流行病感到恐惧。 你知道，很长一段时间以来， 美国人为托儿服务支付的费用总是 高于他们为抵押贷款支付的费用。 它是家庭最大的成本中心。 因此，当没有任何可用的护理中心时， 已经承担了三分之二护理工作的女性 不得不从根本上补充她们的有偿劳动 来代替无偿劳动。 而你又一次看到了几十年的进步 一夜之间就消失了。

Now, some people thought, well, you know, once the country gets back up on its feet and we open things up, everything will be fine. Well, two years later, men have fully recovered all of their job losses. Women are still missing. And, you know, the latest labor statistics does not account for the amount of women who have downshifted their careers, who have said, "Oh, I'm working full time, I got to work part time now," because, again, half of daycare centers are still shut down. Schools are still kind of inconsistent. We still have a broken structure of care.

现在，有些人想，嗯，你知道， 一旦国家重新站起来，我们开放，一切都会好起来的。 好吧，两年后， 男人们已经完全恢复了他们所有的失业。 妇女仍然失踪。 而且，你知道，最新的劳工统计数据并没有考虑到有多少女性 降低了职业生涯， 她们说，“哦，我是全职工作， 我现在必须兼职工作”， 因为，再一次，一半的日托中心仍然关闭。 学校还是有点矛盾。 我们仍然有一个破碎的护理结构。

And so for me, you know, Girls Who Code, I've been spending 10 years telling girls to like, barnstorm the corner office and lean in real hard and you know, girl-boss their way to the top. And so I bought in to that sentiment, well, if you just worked harder, if you just tried more, you got a mentor, a sponsor, or you learned how to color-code your calendar, like, we would get to equality. And the pandemic taught me that that was all a lie, that I had been focused, that we had been focused on the wrong thing, and that we actually have to stop trying to fix women and fix the structure.And the structures that allow women to work and be a motherhave always been broken. We've been the only industrialized nation that doesn't offer paid leave. We've built workplaces around a nine-to-five schedule when schools were open eight to three. We've always been having to balance it all, i.e. having to do it all. And so we were never going to get to equality until we started fixing the structure. And quite frankly, I think the abortion debate is part of that structural conversation. You don't give control over women's ... you know, about their ability how and when to have a child, you take away their ability, quite frankly, to work on their terms.

所以对我来说，你知道，编程的女孩， 我已经花了 10 年时间告诉女孩们喜欢，在角落里的办公室里狂风暴雨， 然后真正努力地倾斜，你知道，女孩老板一路走上顶峰。 所以我接受了这种情绪， 好吧，如果你更努力地工作， 如果你尝试更多，你就会有一个导师，一个赞助商， 或者你学会了如何用颜色编码你的日历， 比如，我们会实现平等。 大流行告诉我，那都是谎言， 我一直专注， 我们一直专注于错误的事情， 我们实际上必须停止试图修复女性 并修复结构。 允许女性工作和做母亲的结构 一直被打破。 我们是唯一一个不提供带薪休假的工业化国家。 当学校八点到三点开学时，我们围绕朝九晚五的时间表建立了工作场所。 我们一直不得不平衡这一切，即必须做这一切。因此，在我们开始修复结构之前，我们永远不会达到平等。坦率地说，我认为堕胎辩论是结构性对话的一部分。你不能控制女性……你知道，关于她们如何以及何时生孩子的能力，坦率地说，你剥夺了她们按照自己的条件工作的能力。

Whitney Pennington Rodgers: What is the "Marshall Plan for Moms"

Whitney Pennington Rodgers：什么是“妈妈的马歇尔计划”

and where are we right now with it?

我们现在在哪里？

RS: We need the government and the private sector, everybody, quite frankly, to re-imagine women in the workplace. And so when I talk to moms about what it is that they needed, you know,to be able to, again, reconcile those two identities as the caretaker and as a worker, you know, I kind of heard the same thing. And it wasn't not that "Wow." Like, it was obvious. Moms said, you know, “I need paid leave.” We're, like I said, the only industrialized nation that doesn't offer paid leave. Right?Affordable childcare. We don't have it in this country. The average American gets about 500 dollars you know, in childcare benefits. The average, in industrialized nation, parent gets 15,000. So we are woefully under providing support for parents in this country.

RS：坦率地说， 我们需要政府和私营部门，每个人都重新想象工作场所的女性。所以当我和妈妈们谈论 他们需要什么时，你知道， 为了能够再次调和 作为看护人和工人的这两种身份， 你知道，我听到了同样的话。 这不是“哇”。 就像，很明显。 妈妈们说，你知道，“我需要带薪休假。” 就像我说的，我们是 唯一一个不提供带薪休假的工业化国家。 正确的？ 负担得起的托儿服务。 我们这个国家没有。 你知道，美国人平均得到大约 500 美元 的托儿福利。 平均而言，在工业化国家，父母得到 15,000。 因此，我们在为 这个国家的父母提供支持的情况下，可悲的是。

School closures. You know, I find that decision so interesting, I want somebody to do, like an investigative report, right?Because, you know, one of the interesting things in America is that we have these things called time and leave studies. So when the policy decision was made to close schools, we had enough time, enough data to say, well, who's doing the homeschooling?Who is this going to affect? What worker is this going to affect?And so we knew, policymakers knew that the ramifications of school closures would dramatically affect women and it wouldn't touch, as it didn't, men's labor. And they did it. Now, other nations across the globe, the UK, other you know, they didn't close the schools. They approached it from a different perspective, right?Or if they closed schools, they had a plan on what they were going to do to support women, to bring them back. And so, school closures were part of this Marshall Plan for Moms.Retraining. Many women found themselves in jobs that were automated because of the pandemic and jobs that weren't going to come back. And so what was the plan to do retraining since we know again, so many women in this country are the breadwinners of their families. So when they lose their job, the entire family suffers.

学校停课。 你知道，我觉得这个决定很有趣， 我希望有人去做，比如调查报告，对吧？ 因为，你知道， 在美国有趣的事情之一 是我们有这些叫做时间和休假学习的东西。 因此，当做出关闭学校的政策决定时， 我们有足够的时间、 足够的数据来说明，好吧，谁在做家庭教育？ 这会影响到谁？ 这将影响哪些工人？ 所以我们知道，政策制定者知道 学校停课的后果会极大地影响女性 ，而且它不会触及，因为它没有触及男性的劳动力。 他们做到了。 现在，全球其他国家，英国，其他你知道的， 他们没有关闭学校。 他们从不同的角度来处理它，对吧？ 或者，如果他们关闭了学校， 他们会制定计划来支持女性，让她们回来。 因此，学校停课是马歇尔妈妈计划的一部分。 再培训。 许多女性发现自己从事的工作 由于大流行 而被自动化，而且工作不会再回来了。 既然我们又知道了，那么再培训的计划是什么 ，这个国家有这么多女性是她们家庭的养家糊口的人。因此，当他们失去工作时，整个家庭都会受苦。

So that was the Marshall Plan for Moms. We put out a full page ad in "The New York Times" to President Biden saying, "In your first 100 days, as you think about what you should focus on,focus on moms, focus on women." And, you know, that turned into a couple pieces of legislation. Now two years later, Whitney,we haven't passed the Marshall Plan for Moms. And what I mean by that is we haven't passed any of the tenets. We haven't passed paid leave, we haven't passed affordable childcare, and we let the child tax credit expire. So we've bailed out airlines. But we haven’t bailed out moms. And, you know, for me as an activist, as a social entrepreneur, looking at this is devastating, because in many ways, you're waiting for Congress to grow a heart. You know, if there was ever going to be a moment in the history of our country to pass paid leave, for us to see, wow, what would have happened? How many, few[er] millions of people would have died from COVID had they had paid leave, paid sick days?Had we approached this differently. If there was ever a moment for reflection for contemplation for courage, it was now. And we didn't see it from our elected officials.

这就是妈妈的马歇尔计划。 我们在《纽约时报》上向拜登总统投放了整版广告，说： “在你的前 100 天里，当你思考你应该关注什么时，关注妈妈，关注女性。” 而且，你知道，这变成了几项立法。现在两年后，惠特尼，我们还没有通过针对妈妈的马歇尔计划。我的意思是我们没有通过任何原则。我们还没有通过带薪休假，我们还没有通过负担得起的托儿服务，我们让儿童税收抵免到期。所以我们救助了航空公司。但我们还没有救助妈妈们。而且，你知道，对于我作为一名活动家，作为一名社会企业家来说， 看着这是毁灭性的， 因为在很多方面， 你都在等待国会培养一颗心。 你知道，如果我们国家的历史上曾经有 过带薪休假的时刻， 让我们看看，哇，会发生什么？ 如果有带薪休假、带薪病假，会有多少、更少[er]数百万人死于新冠病毒？ 如果我们以不同的方式处理这个问题。如果说曾经有过反思、思考勇气的时刻，那就是现在。And we didn't see it from our elected officials.

And the reality is, we can't leave millions of women behind. And so we've really, at Marshall Plan for Moms, turned to the private sector. And I believe in the private sector. You know, when I built Girls Who Code, all of the money we raised was from the private sector. And we ended up teaching half a million kids to code. So the private sector, when it gets its arms around a problem, can really innovate and can really help solve it. And I think the opportunity we have here now, Whitney, is with the great resignation and the fact that there are so many open jobs, it has become a seller's market for employees. And so if there's ever been a moment to say, hey, we need to start providing childcare benefits and maybe even subsidizing people's childcare, that's the way we actually solve it. This is an economic problem, not a personal problem. The moment for that conversation is now.

而现实是，我们不能把数百万女性抛在后面。 因此，在马歇尔妈妈计划中，我们确实 转向了私营部门。 我相信私营部门。 你知道，当我建立 Girls Who Code 时， 我们筹集的所有资金都来自私营部门。 我们最终教了 50 万个孩子编程。 因此，私营部门在解决问题时， 可以真正创新并真正帮助解决问题。 惠特尼，我认为我们现在拥有的机会 在于巨大的辞职 以及有这么多空缺职位的事实， 它已成为员工的卖方市场。 所以如果有时间说，嘿， 我们需要开始提供托儿福利 ，甚至可能补贴人们的托儿服务，这才 是我们真正解决问题的方式。 这是经济问题，不是个人问题。 对话的时刻就是现在。

WPR: Reshma, we have a question here from a TED Member, they ask, "The pandemic has showed that women do an extra shift of work, most of the heavy lifting at home, and upon returning to work, playing the role of the emotional aunt in the workplace. What should allyship look like now in order to support women as we come out of the pandemic?"

WPR：Reshma，我们有一个来自 TED 成员的问题，他们问， “大流行表明，女性会进行额外的轮班工作， 大部分繁重的工作都在家里，而在重返工作岗位后，她们 扮演着工作场所的情感阿姨。在 我们走出大流行病后，为了支持女性，现在应该是什么样的盟友？

RS: Talk about unpaid labor. You know, what about all the unpaid labor women do at work? Who organizes the Christmas party or the Hanukkah party? Or the book clubs or the speakers or the D and I sessions? It’s always women, women of color, and we don’t get paid for that. That's not part of our performance review,that's not part of our compensation package. But we do it. And quite frankly, when we don't do it, we're penalized.

RS：谈谈无偿劳动。 你知道，女性在工作中所做的所有无偿劳动怎么办？ 谁组织圣诞晚会或光明节晚会？ 还是读书俱乐部、演讲者或 D 和 I 课程？ 它总是女人，有色人种的女人，我们没有得到报酬。这不是我们绩效评估 的一部分，也不是我们薪酬方案的一部分。 但我们做到了。 坦率地说， 当我们不这样做时，我们会受到惩罚。

I'll never forget, I was talking to a bunch of CIA agents, CIA agents, and one of them had just had a baby. And she said, "You know, Reshma, that year, I did not organize the office Christmas party. And that was also the year that I -- it was the only year -- I didn't get promoted. And I can't prove it, but I know it was because I didn't plan the Christmas party."

我永远不会忘记，我正在和一群 CIA 特工、CIA 特工交谈， 其中一个刚刚生了孩子。 她说：“你知道，瑞诗玛， 那一年，我没有组织办公室的圣诞晚会。 那也是我——那是唯一一年—— 没有升职的那一年。 我不能。”不能证明这一点， 但我知道这是因为我没有计划圣诞派对。”

So there's also this expectation when we don't do that unpaid labor at work, that we're not productive, that we're not committed. You know, so I think really having a conversationabout how we value that labor is critical.

因此， 当我们在工作中不做无偿劳动时，也有这种期望 ，我们没有生产力，我们没有承诺。 你知道，所以我认为 就我们如何重视劳动力进行真正的对话至关重要。

WPR: One TED Member asks, “If it’s a buyer’s market for employees, what do you think women should ask for first from their employers when it comes to to better benefits? Is there one sticking thing that you think really we should be focusing on?"

WPR：一位 TED 成员问道：“如果这是雇员的买方市场，那么在获得更好的福利时， 你认为女性应该首先 向雇主要求什么？ 有没有一件 你认为我们真的应该关注的棘手的事情？”

RS: So what is happening is, and I think especially in this movement about transparency in pay, I think has really started to really shift some of the gender gap. And so women, I think, are going in and saying, you know, "I want to make more" or "How much are you paying him?" And it's actually translating into higher earnings for them. So I think when it comes to moms, I think three things. So one of the things is we all have to get very clearabout what the pay gap is about. Now, the pay gap is not about gender, and it's not even about care work. It's about mothers.The reason why there is a gender gap in pay is the pay gap between mothers and fathers. In fact, the largest pay gap exists between mothers and childless women. And so we have got to, once and for all, close the pay gap. So, for example, if you leave the workforce to have a child or take a break or whatever it is,you lose on average 40 percent of your income. The good news now is that there's algorithms and people that can come in and literally root out the motherhood penalty. So the number one thing is, is when you go in there and you ask, you want to know what he is making. You know what I mean, and you want to make the same or more. I think the second thing is, is we have to start asking for our companies to pay for childcare benefits. The reality is, the childcare business model is broken. You know, we don’t pay childcare -- we pay zookeepers more than we pay childcare workers. And so they don't make enough. Now, that's why they're not coming back to work, and there's so many open childcare positions because the pay is not just, and so we have to figure out -- So the government was supposed to, by creating a ceiling on what you would pay in childcare expenses, was supposed to be able to help close that gap and help families offset the cost.Now, the government, Congress has said sorry, not sorry, not passing the bill, right? So the private sector is the only other institution that can come in here and fix the model. When the private sector starts saying, "OK, we are going to start offering childcare subsidies, backup care, emergency care, we're going to build daycare centers, when they basically take responsibility for fixing the business model, what's going to happen is a lot of entrepreneurs are going to come into the space, and the market is going to become efficient. So this needs to happen.

RS：所以正在发生的事情是， 我认为尤其是在这场关于薪酬透明度的运动中， 我认为已经真正开始真正改变一些性别差距。 因此，我认为，女性会走进来说，你知道， “我想赚更多”或“你付给他多少钱？” 这实际上转化为他们的更高收入。 所以我认为当谈到妈妈时，我会想到三件事。 因此，其中一件事是我们都必须非常清楚 薪酬差距是什么。 现在，薪酬差距与性别 无关，甚至与护理工作无关。 是关于妈妈们的。 薪酬存在性别差距的原因是 父母之间的薪酬差距。 事实上，最大的薪酬差距存在于母亲和没有孩子的女性之间。 因此，我们必须一劳永逸地缩小薪酬差距。 因此，例如， 如果您离开劳动力市场去生孩子 或休息一下或其他任何事情， 您平均会损失 40% 的收入。 现在的好消息是，有算法 和人可以进来 并从字面上根除母性惩罚。 所以第一件事是，当你进去问， 你想知道他在做什么。 你知道我的意思，你想做同样的或更多的。 我认为第二件事是， 我们必须开始要求我们的公司 支付托儿福利。 现实情况是，托儿业务模式被打破了。 你知道，我们不付托儿费—— 我们付给动物园管理员的钱比付给托儿工的钱多。 所以他们赚的还不够。现在，这就是他们不回来工作的原因， 有这么多空缺的托儿职位 ，因为工资不公平， 所以我们必须弄清楚—— 所以政府应该 通过为你的工作设置一个上限将支付托儿费用， 应该能够帮助缩小这一差距 并帮助家庭抵消成本。 现在，政府，国会已经说对不起，不是对不起， 没有通过法案，对吧？ 所以私营部门是唯一的其他机构 可以进来修复模型。 当私营部门开始说： “好吧，我们将开始提供儿童保育补贴、 后备护理、紧急护理， 我们将建立日托中心， 当他们基本上负责修复商业模式时， 将会发生的事情是很多企业家 将进入这个领域， 市场将变得高效。 所以这需要发生。

So I think it's very important for moms, women, allies, everybody to come in and say, "What are your childcare benefits?" We have a study coming out which will show, with McKinsey, probably next week, which will basically prove the case that this is the number one thing that parents want. And this will be a driver of who they work for and who they don't work for. So it makes business sense if you care about attrition, if you care about, again, the four million people that are leaving every month. The way to retain them, the way to win that talent war is to provide childcare. WPR: There’s a question from TED Member Charlotte about a women’s general strike. What do you think about that?

所以我认为妈妈、女性、盟友和 每个人都进来 问“你的育儿福利是什么”是非常重要的。 我们有一项研究将 在下周与麦肯锡合作， 这将基本上证明 这是父母想要的第一件事。 这将成为他们为谁工作和不为谁工作的驱动因素。 因此，如果您关心减员，如果您再次关心 每月离职的 400 万人，这在商业上是有意义的。 留住他们的方法，赢得这场人才大战的方法 是提供托儿服务。 WPR：TED 成员夏洛特有一个关于女性总罢工的问题。 你怎么看？

RS: Oh, I love it, the Iceland strike, oh my God, yes. Because, listen, I think that what happened in Iceland essentially is women didn't go to work, they didn't get on a train, they didn't make breakfast for their partners and the entire country shut down.And that year they passed a really progressive law on pay equityand they got more women in elective office. But it was an eye opener for people like, oh, wow, we really can't function, you know what I mean, without women's participation.

RS：哦，我喜欢它，冰岛罢工，哦，我的上帝，是的。 因为，听着，我认为冰岛发生的事情本质上 是女性没有去上班，没有上火车， 没有为伴侣做早餐， 整个国家都关闭了。 那一年，他们通过了一项非常进步的薪酬平等法 ，他们让更多的女性担任民选职位。但这让人们大开眼界，哦，哇，如果 没有女性的参与，我们真的无法运作，你知道我的意思。

WPR: I'm curious what you think is the thing that will ultimately motivate us to actually make it happen. What do you see as the thing that's going to make the tide finally change?

WPR：我很好奇你认为 最终会激励我们真正实现它的事情。 你认为什么东西会让潮流最终改变？

RS: I think we have to build radically different systems. That's why I'm obsessed with the workplace, because I think the workplace is an example of how we have to resist going back to the old normal, because there’s actually alignment. Nobody wants to go back to that old workplace. Not men, not trans people, not, you know, nonbinary, not my people of color, like, nobody, that wasn't working for anybody. You know, that hustle culture, you know that idea that you give everything, you work 80 hours a week and you just like, fall apart, your mental health. I mean, we can't go back to that. You know, we can't go back to that. And so this is our first test. Are we up for building something new collectively, you know, that will serve all of us and will bring us to a place where I think we can all heal and have a little bit more time.

RS：我认为我们必须建立完全不同的系统。 这就是我痴迷于工作场所的原因， 因为我认为工作场所是 我们必须抵制回到旧常态的一个例子， 因为实际上存在一致性。 没有人愿意回到那个旧工作场所。不是男人，不是跨性别者， 不是，你知道的，非二元的，不是我的有色人种， 比如，没有人，这对任何人都不起作用。 你知道，那种忙碌的文化， 你知道你付出一切的想法，你 每周工作 80 小时 ，你只是喜欢，崩溃，你的心理健康。 我的意思是，我们不能回到过去。 你知道，我们不能回到那个时候。 所以这是我们的第一个测试。 我们是否准备好共同建设一些新的东西，你知道， 这将为我们所有人服务，并将把我们带到一个 我认为我们都可以治愈并有更多时间的地方。

You know, it's very hard to be empathetic and to be brave when you're exhausted. And I think people are really exhausted right now.

你知道，当你筋疲力尽时，很难有同理心和勇敢。 我认为人们现在真的筋疲力尽。

I think the second is, I do this, I think we’ve got to keep talking to people who don’t agree with us. You know, my favorite audiences to talk about "Pay Up" are men. And people always say to me, "Well, how do you convince the men?" I'm like, no, the men are with me, with us. We think they're not, but they are. And so it’s everyone’s perspective: "The reason why we don't have these things in this book is because of men." No, it's not because of men. You know what I mean, that's not the problem. It's because of the power and the way that we've traditionally created workplaces. So you also then, when you talk to people who you think are not your allies or who you think may be against you, you sometimes are surprised. I mean, it's the same thing with Girls Who Code, it's like, 40 percent of my teachers are men.

我认为第二个是，我这样做， 我认为我们必须继续与不同意我们的人交谈。 你知道，我最喜欢谈论“Pay Up”的听众是男性。 人们总是对我说，“嗯，你怎么说服男人？” 我想，不，男人和我在一起，和我们在一起。 我们认为他们不是，但他们是。 所以这是每个人的观点： “我们在这本书中没有这些东西的原因是因为男人。” 不，这不是因为男人。 你知道我的意思，那不是问题。 这是因为我们传统上创建工作场所的力量和方式。 因此，当您与您认为不是您的盟友的人交谈时，您也是如此 或者你认为可能反对你的人，你有时会感到惊讶。 我的意思是，与 Girls Who Code 一样，我的老师 40% 是男性。

So that's how you build movements. And for me as a social entrepreneur building my second movement, you know, with Marshall Plan for Moms, that is a big lesson that I learned. Is that you can't keep talking to the converted. We've got to convert.[Get access to thought-provoking events you won't want to miss.]

这就是你构建动作的方式。 对我作为一名社会企业家来说， 通过马歇尔妈妈计划， 这是我学到的重要一课。 是你不能继续和皈依者交谈。 我们必须转换。 [访问您不想错过的发人深省的活动。]