【龙腾网】为什么日本人过于讲礼貌（上）

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Why is Japan so polite?

为什么日本人过于讲礼貌

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（回答一）Michael Dougan, Cafe Owner at Michael's Cafe American (2017-present)
I’d like to offer a contrary view, one that explores outsider and insider perceptions of politeness. This from the perspective of an American expat living full-time in Japan for only a few years (It still has that new Japan smell!)
How we measure politeness, and rudeness, across cultures, depends on what reference point we’re comparing it to, and even in what generation, what time frx.
By contemporary U.S. standards, Japan seems exceedingly polite. But is it?
That’s by current American standards, not traditional American standards. The U.S., too, not long ago had much more formal manners and social expectations than it does now. The system-wide informality, and “whatever” casualness of average American behavior is a relatively recent thing.

作为在日本全职生活了几年的美国人，我想提供一个与大众相反的观点，分别从局外人和局内人两个角度看待这一问题。
我们如何衡量礼貌和粗鲁，取决于我们用哪个参照点进行比较，甚至取决于以哪个时代、哪个时间段进行比较。
以当代美国的标准来看，日本人似乎非常有礼貌。但事实真的是这样吗?

如果将时间前推几十年，那时的美国人还较为传统，人们的礼仪标准和社会责任感也比现在高得多。
现在人们眼里不拘礼节，直率洒脱的美国人形象，其实是最近几十年间才逐渐建立起来的。

[Only a few generations ago, American men wore suits and hats even to baseball games]
The U.S. once preserved traditional manners and formal courtesies, though it always had a healthy degree of anti-authoritarian rebellion around the edges. Being a frontier, it was never quite as formal and aristocratic as Europe. It was rough, but some formalities prevailed.
Up through the middle of the 20th century everybody said “Mr.”, Miss, and Mrs.”, “Sir”, and “Ma’m” was considered polite. One never immediately used someone’s first name, not until you were given permission to.
This sounds not unlike Japan, doesn’t it? That’s because it wasn’t that far apart. Things were more formal in America, not that long ago. This persisted relatively undisturbed until the 1960s, forward.
The new reality is especially noticeable in the way Americans dress then, and now. 21st century adult men dress like 10-year-old boys used to dress. Baggy shorts, baseball caps.
We accept “casual” as the norm, for all but the most traditional of professions, accountants, lawyers, or jobs that require an official uniform. Most of the rest of us have enjoyed very relaxed standards, very informal dress codes, and behavioral codes.

就在几代人以前，美国人甚至连观看棒球赛都要穿戴正式的西装和帽子
尽管美国远离欧洲大陆，尽管在礼仪方面从来没有像欧洲那样正式化和贵族化。但美国仍然保留着传统的礼仪和正式的礼节，虽然在形式上比欧洲粗糙，但该有的繁文缛节还是一样不少。

直到20世纪中期（1950年），每个美国人见面时都会相互称“先生”和“夫人”，这样的称呼被认为是有礼貌的。没有人会一见面就直呼其名，除非你得到对方的允许。这种情况一直持续到20世纪60年代
这些听起来是不是很像现在的日本?

如果让五十年前的美国人仔细审视21世纪的美国人。那么在他们的眼里，所有的美国成年人都如同10岁的小男孩一样，身穿宽松的短裤，头戴棒球帽。
如今的美国，除了最传统的职业，如会计师、律师需要穿着正式制服工作。大部分美国人都喜欢身穿“便装”办公。
在日常生活中，我们大多数人都享受着非常宽松的生活标准、非常随意的着装规范和行为规范。

That said — contrary to popular belief — there are plenty of rude people in Japan. Rude speech or insensitive behavior in Japan, while immediately evident to fellow Japanese, might be completely lost on non-Japanese. To an average American, invisible, below the radar. We don’t have receptors tuned to pick it up, even when we witness rudeness first-hand.
If one Japanese person insulted another Japanese person, in a social situation, I probably wouldn’t even know unless someone explained it to me later.
The Japanese language, to our ear, has fewer examples of what Americans recognize as vulgar, obscene, or profane. But within the Japanese language, words chosen to covey hostility or disrespect are immediately recognized as risky, taboo, equally potent.

事实上，与世人普遍的看法相反-日本其实有很多行为粗鲁的人。
注意，在日本人眼里，行为粗鲁指的是不礼貌的言语或鲁莽粗俗的行为。

虽然日本人一眼就能看出彼此的行为是否礼貌得体，但对于非日本人来说，很难看出其中隐藏的微妙玄机。即使我们亲眼目睹了某个日本人做出了某种粗鲁行为，我们也很难辨识。

比如一个日本人在社交场合侮辱了另一个日本人，如果没有其他日本人在旁边向我解释，我可能永远都不会察觉
在我们美国人看来，日语中类似粗俗、淫秽或亵渎之类的词语较少。但充满敌意或不尊重的词语不少，这些词语对于日本人的杀伤力同样有力无比。