stupid me

I got a bone fracture.

I was skateboarding and being stupid to try this new move. 

It is kind of weird feeling. I always knew this would come, got hurt. It is waiting for another shoe to fall, considering the bruised right arm. This time, left wrist, worse wound. 

Does this mean i am self-harming? Like the character in my novel. I actually don’t know. Perhaps i was just wishing some change during this ever-lasting pandemic. Any change.

And here i am, with the numb arm, typing these stupid words, feeling too sentimental in Chinese.

I video called my ex as soon as i went back home from the hospital at midnight. I think i was gonna call her no matter the time difference, though i did do the count and make sure it was her morning. I am sure i need to hear her voice to drag me from this strange feeling, so i can get some sleep.

I did so. I ate my painkiller and lay down on my bed. When i hear her voice, there was some rhyme happening with my broken arm. It might be caused by the blood leaking within my skin. I am lucky it is not a open wound, i hate that kind of mess.

So, why i wrote this? I am not sure. I was told i have to be quarantined for a week for the visit to hospital. I don’t want to think about my work needed to be done next week. I will get through, i always.

I guess i just want to record this moment’s mood and perhaps to share with someone. I would have never imagined i could get me a broken bone, if you ask me what is me in the future.

I wish i feel better tomorrow. And please don’t let me the one to forecast the coming rain through my sour arm 20 years from now.

All best.