【中英字幕】一名被网暴的刷新成瘾者自白：“Refresh”| Dave Mall
《刷新》“Refresh”歌词译文
JESSICA: (spoken)
嗨，我的名字叫杰西卡，我是个网瘾者
Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm an addict
OTHERS: (spoken)
嗨，杰西卡
Hi Jessica
JESSICA: (spoken)
“网瘾者”。上帝啊，这个词还是很难出口
“Addict.” God that's still so hard to say.
这周末呢，我有一点故态复萌了
So I had a bit of a relapse this weekend.
我之前控制得真的很好，你们知道吗？
I had been doing really good, you know?
我下了追踪器，我下了屏蔽器
Installed trackers, installed blockers
我卸载了非必需的APP
Deleted non-essential apps
关掉了通知信息
Turned off notifications
关掉了推送
Turned off push.
然后呢
But then I
我想得太单纯了
It’s so simple.
我冲动难耐
I had an urge
我说，为什么不呢？
And I said why not?
看一眼也无妨嘛
One peek won't hurt.
CHORUS:
刷新！
Refresh
JESSICA: (spoken)
我已经有段时间没有自搜了
I hadn't egosurfed in a while.
CHORUS:
刷新！刷新！
Refresh, refresh
JESSICA: (spoken)
可是在那件事情发生之后......
Not since my…incident.
CHORUS:
刷新，刷新，刷新，刷新！
Refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh
JESSICA:
对，我就是杰西卡
Yes I am jessica
就是那个
That one
被伸张正义的网络暴民害惨的
Righteous mobmind casualty
替罪羔羊
Sacrificial lamb
就是我！
That I am
你们都看过我那条标题是“发疯的白女”的视频咯
(spoken) You've all seen my
“white woman goes crazy” video.
CHORUS:
嘿
Hey
JESSICA:
感谢，感谢
Thank you, thank you
CHORUS:
嘿
Hey
JESSICA: (spoken)
没人在意他妈的故事背景，不是吗？
Fuck context right?
其实我早就看见了
I actually saw it
在我被扒出身份之前
Before I was id'ed
看到视频里一个女人理智全无
Saw this video of a woman losing it
在我的推送流里，一次次循环播放
Circulating in my feed
那声音听起来熟悉
Voices sound familiar
那地方我认出来了
Recognize the place
于是我看见了她
And then I saw her
我的脸
My face
那是我的脸吗？
Is that my face?
我的脸
My face
那是我的脸吗？？？
Is that my face?
然后我就开始——
And I'd be like
点击，下滑，操！点击
Click swipe fuck click
下滑，操！点击，下滑
Swipe fuck click swipe
操！点击，下滑，操！
Fuck click swipe fuck
JESSICA & CHORUS:
点击，点击...
Click click
JESSICA:
那头几个小时里
Those first few hours
那头几天里
Those first few days
我死死盯着
I was glued
那些下作的话语
To the lewdness
充斥着我的屏幕
On my screen
我读到关于我的一切
Reading everything about me
在病态般的鞭笞中
In morbid flagellation
我同时打开着所有的选项卡
Multitasking all the tabs
每一页都是对我的羞辱
Of my humiliation
CHORUS:
刷新！
Refresh
JESSICA:
这些头像里的小人们都说了什么？
What did this small person say?
CHORUS:
刷新，刷新！
Refresh refresh
JESSICA:
这么多的小人们都说了什么？
What did these dozen small persons say?
CHORUS:
刷新，刷新，刷新！
Refresh refresh refresh
JESSICA:
每个声音都同样刺耳
Every voice is equal
每个声音都刻入心中
Every voice gets in
我的眼睛像是被缝住无法合上一般
It was like my eyes were sewn open
心中闪过一念
With a piece of electric thread
去睡吧
Go to bed
去睡吧！
Go to bed
不！就只再看一条！
No but just one more
只是看短短一句
One shallow little phrase
就会像火炬一样把我的大脑点燃！
Would light my brain like a torch
我染上了瘾
I became a junkie for it
我深挖每一条梗图和帖子
Digging deep for all the memes and posts
让我觉得自己更加该死
To make me feel more shitty
让我的耻感受伤至极
Make my shame hurt the most
我就一直——
And I'd be like
JESSICA & CHORUS:
点，滑，操！点
Click swipe fuck click
滑，操！点，滑
Swipe fuck click swipe
操！点，滑，操！
Fuck click swipe fuck
点，点！
Click click
我的名字
My name
那是我的名字吗？
Is that my name?
我的名字
My name
那是我的名字吗？
Is that my name?
JESSICA:
哦天呐
Oh god
哦天呐！
Oh god
我看着我自己重生为一个符号
I watched myself reborn as an icon
一个可惧 可恨的符号
For awfulness and hate
于是我就离开了
So then I went away
我来到了林中
To the forest
不见任何人
No reception
只是一直刷新！
Just refresh
它们让我心无杂念——
Make my head feel clean
水
Water
蜡烛
Candles
肥皂
Soap
太阳
Sun
天空
Sky
清澈
Clear
专注
Attention
简单
Simple
静止
Stillness
静默
Silence
森林很美丽
The forest was beautiful
刷新！
Refresh
刷新，刷新！
Refresh refresh
刷新，刷新，刷新！
Refresh refresh refresh
可是我们都得重归生活
But we all have to come back
于是我就回来了
So I came back
不过，自然是没有回头路了
But of course there's no coming back
没有平反昭雪
No rehabilitation
没有任何区别
No nuance
只有噪音！
Just noise
还有我的溃不成军！
And complete annihilation
暴民们永不忘记
The mob never forgets
暴民们永不饶恕
The mob never forgives
哪怕你们根本他妈的就不认识我
Even though you don't fucking know me at all
不！你们他妈根本就不知道你们在说什么
No you've no fucking idea what you are talking about
可我就是冲着陌生人喊叫的那个
But I am yelling at a stranger
我是精神污染
And a mindwaste
我是儿童不宜
At a petty child robot
嗷，来吧，来吧，现在就来吧！
Aw come on come on come on now
石块扔向我！
Stone me
挑刺于我！
Bone me
迁怒于我！
Spunk me
抛弃我！
Junk me
人肉搜索我！
Dox me
瘟神般躲我！
Pox me
羞辱我！
Shame me
废了我！
Maim me
恨我！
Hate me
毁了我！
Destroy me
操我！
Fuck me
享用我！
Enjoy me
我走投无路
I am cancelled
没有发声权利
No parole
没有免责证明
No release
哈
Huh
你们就爱这样？
Would you like that?
我现在很难再与陌生人接近了
It's hard to get close to new people now
我基本不出门
I don't go out much
我戴上帽子，穿上大衣
I wear a hat and a trenchcoat
打扮得像个性变态
Like a pervert
CHORUS:
刷新！刷新！刷新！
Refresh refresh refresh
JESSICA: (spoken)
一切都来得太快
This all happened so fast
我们尚未来得及施展那点可怜的同理心
Too fast for our fledgling empathy
技术丢下我们 扬长而去
The tech got away from us
我们毫无防备
And we weren't ready
我不觉得这是我们生来就能够应对的...
I don't think we're wired to handle this
CHORUS:
刷新，刷新，刷新...
Refresh refresh refresh
