How to Build a Stronger Memory

by Philip White

When was the last time you looked at your smartphone? Was it within the last 30 seconds? The last minute? On average, Americans open their phones 58 times a day and spend three and a half hours online. Worldwide, millions rely on the little computers in their palms to do everything from look up directions to recall important information like birthdays, deadlines, and to-do lists.

你上次看手机是什么时候？不到三十秒前？一分钟前？平均来说，美国人每天看手机58次，每日上网时间达到3.5小时。全世界有几百万人依赖手机去做各种事情，从查看方向，到记住重要信息如生日、截止期限、待办事项等，全都包括在内。

For the most part, this is helpful. Smartphones organize our days, keep us updated on the news, and allow us to communicate with people out of our physical reach. But when it comes to growing and developing our memories, is technology helping or hurting us?

在大多数情况下，这是有帮助的。智能手机可以安排我们的每日行程、提供最新消息，以及让我们与无法当面见到的人沟通。但若要增强与发展记忆力，科技会对我们有助力，还是有害？

Unfortunately, when it comes to your memory, it’s often the latter. Smartphones have been shown to harm the brain’s ability to retain important details, according to one review from Oxford, King’s College London, Harvard, and Western Sydney University. In short, the research says that when people rely on devices to remember things, they often fail to actually learn them. This explains why, despite having visited your favorite restaurant several times, you might still rely on Google maps to get you there. You are not training your memory to recall information. Rather, you are training it to rely on external tools that can do so for you.

可惜在记忆力方面，答案往往是有害。牛津大学、伦敦大学国王学院、哈佛大学和西悉尼大学的文献研究显示，智能手机会伤害大脑记住重要细节的能力。简单来说，这项研究指出，人们如果依赖各种装置来记住事情，常常会无法真正记得那些事情。这可以解释，为什么你已去过你最喜欢的餐厅好几次，仍要仰赖地图带你走到那家餐厅。你并没有训练你的记忆力来回想信息，而是训练记忆依赖外部工具帮你回想。

If you are a leader, these findings are worth your attention. Your memory is perhaps one of the most valuable assets you can build, and not for the reason you may think. While it is vital to establish yourself as reliable and trustworthy, memory is even more important for creating and maintaining the foundation of any successful business: relationships — with team members, customers, and clients. Forgetfulness is the erosion that eats away at those ties. Whether it’s calling someone by the wrong name, mistaking their title, or overlooking a meeting invite, forgetting small details can cause major rifts. In fact, feeling forgotten has been proven to do major interpersonal damage.

如果你是管理者，这些发现就值得注意。你的记忆力，可能是最值得你建立的珍贵资产，而理由可能并非你所想的那样。对你来说，虽然建立“可靠”、“可信”的形象很重要，但记忆力可能更重要，记忆力才能打造并维持一项任何成功事业都需要的基础：人际关系，包括你与团队成员、顾客和客户的关系。健忘会逐渐侵蚀掉这些连结。不论是叫错名字、叫错职称，或是忘了开会邀请、遗忘小细节，都可能造成重大裂痕。其实研究已证明，觉得被遗忘，会严重损伤人际关系。

For leaders, this kind of attrition quickly adds up: When you forget small details about your customers and teams, you send the message that you aren’t interested in them as people or invested in your relationships. This is especially true during times of crisis when people are looking to you for comfort and support. Remembering their individual circumstances will help you adjust your communications and expectations around each person’s situation. In a state of emergency, technology  will only get you so far.

对领导者来说，这样的裂痕会迅速扩大：如果你忘记顾客与团队成员的小细节，这传达的信息，就是你对他们这些人没兴趣，或是无意维系你们的关系。在危机的时候尤其是如此，因为危机期间人们希望从你身上得到安慰与支持。你若能记得每个人的情况，就能针对每个人的情况来调整你的沟通内容与期许。在紧急状态下，科技能做的有限。

I can speak to this because it is a challenge I face daily. As president and CEO of Sotheby’s International Realty, the power of recall has been key to building and sustaining a business that hinges on relationships — you can’t succeed in real estate without showing people that they matter to you. By making sure I can show the people around me that I value and remember them, I’ve been able to stay connected with agents in more than 1,000 offices in 72 countries. I needed my memory to keep my business running before the pandemic. Now, it is essential.

我自认有资格谈这个议题，因为我天天都在面对这个挑战。我身为苏富比国际房地产总裁暨CEO，记忆的威力是关键，对于打造与维系我们这种取决于人际关系的业务很重要，因为你必须让对方觉得他们对你很重要，否则你不可能在房地产业成功。我努力让身边的人知道我在意他们、记得他们，因此能够与分布在72国、超过一千个办事处的员工维持关系。早在疫情之前，我就靠着记忆力来维持业务运作。而现在，记忆力更是必要的。

Over the years, I have developed a strategy that has helped me limit my reliance on technology and continue to develop the strong, active memory I rely on daily. Whether you are a business leader, the CEO of a company, or an individual contributor, you can use this approach to do the same.

多年来，我发展出一种策略，协助我限制对科技的依赖，并且持续锻炼我每天仰赖的强大记忆力。不论你是企业管理者、公司CEO，还是个人贡献者，都可以用这套方法锻炼记忆力。

Figure out how you learn best.

找出自己的学习风格

People absorb information in different ways, and considering different learning methods can help you determine how best to commit things to memory. For instance, though it has been contested and there’s no hard evidence for its effectiveness in educational settings, I have found through my career experience that the VARK model works well for me. This model breaks down learning styles into visual, auditory, read/write, and kinaesthetic types. This simple questionnaire can point you toward your own learning preferences. Other frameworks you could explore include the Learning Connections Inventory, which can help you determine your learning patterns. Equipped with a better understanding of how you learn, you can adjust your interactions with others to optimize your ability to remember details about them, their work, and their lives.

研究显示，每个人吸收资讯的最佳方式不同，取决于每个人的天生特质。VARK是最知名的学习模式之一，将学习风格分为视觉学习、听觉学习、读／写学习，以及运动学习四种。运用简单的问卷，就能得知自己的学习偏好。知道这一点之后，就能据以调整自己和他人的互动，以优化你记得有关他们本人、他们的工作与生活细节的能力。

I, for one, am predominantly an auditory learner; I best recall and digest information when I can hear it spoken aloud. I encountered this when I shifted from my first job in banking to my current role in real estate. Today, my success is dependent upon my ability to memorize not only the names of my clients and their children, but also the agents whom I work with, other professional connections, and any significant changes that occur in each of their lives — including marriages, moves, and career shifts. This information comes to me through genuine conversations and requires a great deal of active listening.

例如我非常明显是听觉学习者；听到有人大声说出某项信息，最能让我记住与吸收这项信息。当初我从第一份银行业工作，转职到目前的房地产业工作时，就遇过这种情形。我能有今日的成就，靠的是我不仅能记住客户与他们小孩的名字，还能记住与我合作的员工、其他专业人士，以及他们的生活中任何的重大变化，包括结婚、搬家、转职等。我能得到这些信息，是通过真诚的谈话，而且需要大量的积极聆听。

But listening in itself is not enough. To really take advantage of an auditory learning style, here are a few tactics that I have found helpful:

然而，光是听还不够。若要真正发挥听觉学习的优势，以下是我发现有用的几项做法：

● Repeat names often in conversations when you first meet someone — this will make their names and details more likely to stick.

   在第一次认识某人的时候，谈话中常常重复提到他的名字；这样就更可能让你记住对方的姓名与细节信息。

● Leave your laptop behind during meetings. Taking notes on a computer may distract you from retaining information.

   开会的时候不要用笔记型电脑。在电脑上做笔记可能会让你分心，无法记住信息。

● Make it into a game. If you work in an office building, try to remember the names of everyone on the opposite side of the floor. If you visit other branches of your company at regular intervals, see whether you can bring the team their preferred snacks. For example, I test myself regularly by trying to remember which buildings in Manhattan each of our clients lives in. These details are crucial to thriving in my industry.

   把这当成一场游戏。如果你的工作地点是办公大楼，可以试着去记住同楼层另一侧的部门所有员工的名字。如果你会定期造访公司的其他分公司，不妨试试看能不能为那些团队带些他们喜欢的小点心。举例来说，我会定期测试自己是否记得所有在曼哈顿的客户分别住在哪栋大楼。像这样的细节，在我这行攸关业务是否能蓬勃发展。

For non-auditory learners, other tactics will work better. Visual learners may favor diagrams, graphics, and flash cards. Others will find that reading and writing down information cements it into their minds — for them, note-taking is nonnegotiable. Kinaesthetic learners need hands-on experiences with models or activities that engage their bodies.

但对于非听觉学习者来说，其他做法的效果比较好。视觉学习者可能偏好图表、图像、闪示卡等。读／写学习者会发现，把信息读出来并写下来，就能深深印入脑海；对他们来说，写笔记绝对是必要的。运动学习者则需要实际操作体验或活动，要运用到身体才记得住。

Be selective about what you delegate. 

选择哪些工作不该交办

When I started in real estate, I used to stay late and answer phones. Sure, I could’ve delegated this task. But because of how I learn, I knew it would help me remember the ins and outs of the business faster than I could have by clocking out on time. Doing the extra work expanded my memory capacity, as well as my contact list — one that I still rely on today.

我刚进房地产业的时候，常常加班接电话。当然，这些工作可以交待给别人去做，但因为我的学习风格，我知道比起准时下班，这种方式可以让我更快掌握整个业务细节。多做这些事，不但让我提升记忆力，也让我掌握更多联络人，至今仍受益。

In the beginning, I kept track of people in a giant Rolodex, personally organizing each contact’s information and committing it to memory as I did. No matter what kind of learner you are, this is a useful practice. Even if your contacts today are digitized, input any new information you receive into your smartphone or customer relationship management tool yourself.

在一开始，我把所有联络人的资讯，保存在一个很大的旋转式名片架里，亲自整理每个联络人的资讯，并且一边整理一边记住那些资讯。不论你属于哪种学习者，这都是有用的做法。就算现在所有的联络资讯都已经数字化，仍应该自己把接收到的新信息输入智能手机，或顾客关系管理工具。

Though it may be tempting to delegate this seemingly menial task to someone else — especially when you’ve got a million other things on your plate — you sell yourself short on learning when you do. As you input information, think about where and when you met each person. This practice is one that furthers my relationship-building goals, and it’s become an essential part of my memory-strengthening routine.

虽然你可能很想要把这看似无趣的工作，交给别人来做（特别是你手上还有其他许多事情要做的话），但这样就是低估了你这么做时可以记住的东西。在输入信息的时候，要回想自己是在什么地方、什么时候认识了每个人。我就是用这种做法来推动我建立人际关系的目标，也成了我强化记忆力的日常做法中的重要环节。

My point isn’t that you should never delegate tedious tasks. Rather, you should regularly evaluate whether the tasks you do delegate could actually benefit you. Tasks that help you repeat and recall information aid in memory consolidation — the process by which short-term memories are turned into long-term ones. Repeatedly studying information strengthens the neural networks that form recollections, equipping the mind to remember details with higher accuracy later on. 

我的重点并不是说，你绝对不能把无聊的事交给别人去做，而是希望你能定期评估，你交办给别人的事情，是否其实由你自己做会对你有好处。能让你复诵、回想信息的工作，有助于记忆巩固（memory consolidation，由短期记忆转为长期记忆的过程）。重复研究资讯，能够强化建立记忆的神经网路，让心智在未来能更准确地记住细节。

Prioritize information by newness, not importance.

记忆优先顺序在于先后，而非重要程度

It may seem counterintuitive, but when I prioritize what I commit to memory, I don’t focus on the most important information first. Instead, I prioritize the newest information. Studies indicate that committing something to memory as soon as you learn the information could be more beneficial than trying to add it to your memory bank after doing something else. This is because when you shift your focus from one bit of information to the next, you slow down your memory encoding for the first item you were dealing with.

这一点似乎违反直觉，但在我判断应该先记什么事情的时候，并不是最重要的信息最优先，而是最新的信息最优先。研究指出，得知某项信息时，当下立刻设法记住它的效果比较好，优于先去做其他事，再回来把它纳入记忆库里。原因在于，当你把注意力从某项信息移到下一件事，就会减缓你记忆收录编码原先那件事的速度。

Whether I’m attempting to retain faces or facts, shifting the focus from importance to newness helps fresher details stick for the long term. Instead of asking myself, “How important is it that I remember this?” I ask myself, “What can I do right now to remember this later?”

不论要记住的是长相或事实，把注意焦点从重要性转向新近程度，有助于让较新的细节记得更久。我不会自问“这件事有多重要？值不值得我记住？”我会问自己：“我现在该怎样做，才能在日后仍记住这件事？”

This practice has proven to be particularly helpful when it comes to remembering people. When I first began running my business, I had 130 agents in one location. I had recruited and hired them — I couldn’t just forget their names. I wanted them to feel like they were valued and appreciated. Shouting, “Hey, buddy!” every time I walked by an agent I didn’t know would have turned me into an “out-of-touch CEO” — the kind of leader people feel they can’t have a relationship with and don’t really want to work for. We all know that bad bosses are one of the biggest factors of underperformance. This is why I made a point of remembering, and therefore appreciating, my newest contacts first.

若要记住的是人，这种做法特别有用。我刚开始经营自己事业的时候，有个地方有130名员工，都是我自己招募和雇用的，因此不可能忘了他们的名字。我希望他们能够觉得自己受到重视与欣赏。如果我每次经过员工身边都不认得他们，只能说“嗨，兄弟！”，我就会成为那种“遥不可及的CEO”，大家都不想和这种管理者建立关系，也不想为这种管理者工作。我们都知道，糟糕的上司是员工绩效不佳的一大成因。因此我十分强调要记得我最新认识的人，以表达我看重他们。

This practice has proven to be particularly helpful when it comes to remembering people. When I first began running my business, I had 130 agents in one location. I had recruited and hired them — I couldn’t just forget their names. I wanted them to feel like they were valued and appreciated. Shouting, “Hey, buddy!” every time I walked by an agent I didn’t know would have turned me into an “out-of-touch CEO” — the kind of leader people feel they can’t have a relationship with and don’t really want to work for. We all know that bad bosses are one of the biggest factors of underperformance. This is why I made a point of remembering, and therefore appreciating, my newest contacts first.

有关学习新资讯，重点同样也是“重复”，这件事对企业领导人加倍重要。如果忘记某位地区经理的名字，或忘记某位潜在客户的家庭成员，可能造成关系成本。迅速记起各项细节，长远下来会对你有好处。你可以采取下列做法来练习：

● Look up new people you meet online. Seeing their names in different contexts can help you commit them to memory.

   对于新认识的人，在网上搜寻他的相关信息。在不同的情境下看到这些人的名字，有助于你记住他们。

● Ask a lot of questions in conversations, even if you might have already learned the answer to a question in your online research. The repetition of information will help it stand out in your mind later on.

   在谈话时提出大量问题，即使你通过先前的网上搜寻，已经知道答案也没关系。像这样重复资讯，有助于未来记忆更为鲜明。

● When meeting new clients or job candidates specifically, regroup with your internal team to consolidate details. Run through the list of people you connected with and confirm your data against the group’s. What other people remember can help spark your own recall.

   要与新客户或求职者见面的时候，先与内部团队开会收集细节信息。团队一起讨论你联络对象的列表，并根据团队的资料来确认你的资料。他人的记忆可能触发你自己的回忆。

The above practices may seem challenging at first, but they will be well worth it in time. When the moment comes, my phone is no substitute for accurate recall. I more often find that I can remember the information as soon as I need it — a skill that has helped secure my relationships and, in turn, my business and my job.

以上做法乍看可能很困难，但长久下来会很值得。当这种时刻出现，我的手机是无法取代正确回想起信息的。我常发现，我能在需要信息的当下就回想起来，而这项技能不但有助于我维系人际关系，也因此维系了我的业务、我的工作。

Further, on an interpersonal level, if we’ve learned anything from this crisis, it’s that we need connection — not just as leaders, but as human beings. If nothing else, know that the ability to remember is the ability to show people that they matter, and alone, that is something rare and invaluable.

此外在人际层次，如果这次新冠肺炎危机有让我们学到心得，那就是我们都需要与他人的连结；不仅管理者需要，凡是人都会需要。可能最重要的一点就是：记忆的能力，就是让别人觉得他们自己很重要的能力，而光是这点，就已经是罕见而珍贵的能力。

菲利普·怀特 （Philip White）| 文

菲利普·怀特是苏富比国际房地产（Sotheby's International Realty）总裁兼CEO，推动该公司的策略性成长，成为精品房地产服务业的顶尖供应商。