Avicii传记翻译P30—33 中英对照

请注意： 本文使用翻译软件辅助翻译，我自己手动修改，所以有读起来很机翻的地方，如您在阅读过程中发现错误请指出，感谢!

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DURING THE SUMMER break before the second year in high school, Tim, Fricko and a few other friends went to Juan-les-Pins on the French Riviera.

在高中第二年暑假之前，Tim、Fricko和其他几个朋友去了法国里维埃拉的Juan-les-Pins。

One night they partied at Le Village, or maybe it was Whisky à Gogo – whatever it was, on the way home one of them had bought weed from some guy by the beach promenade. The gang went down to the water’s edge, where Tim, under cover of darkness, took two or three drags of the joint.

一个晚上，他们在Le Village或者Whisky à Gogo（具体在哪里他们不记得了）狂欢。回家的路上，其中一个人在沙滩买了点大麻。一行人来到了水边，Tim在黑暗中吸了两三口。

At first nothing happened. And then still nothing. Then Tim’s throat suddenly and completely dried up. He felt his heart beginning to race. A rumble intensified in his head, like a jet engine speeding up before take-off. Each heartbeat throbbed violently against his forehead, but when he checked his heart rate, it turned out that everything was in order, his pulse normal.

一开始什么都没有发生。之后还是没有任何变化。然后 Tim 的喉咙突然变得干燥无比。他感到自己的心跳开始加快。一阵轰鸣声在他的脑海中加剧，就像喷气式发动机在起飞前加速。每次心跳都剧烈地撞击着他的前额，但当他检查心率时，结果显示一切都正常，他的脉搏正常。

The knowledge that he might really just be fighting against his own thoughts did not help much. Maybe he would die now?

他意识到他可能只是在和自己的想法作斗争，但这并没有起到帮助。也许他现在就要死了？

The feeling passed, Tim came home to Stockholm and forgot about the experience, until one day when he had sat in front of the computer for eleven hours straight. Tired and exhausted, he got up from his chair and his head started spinning again.

那种感觉过去了，Tim回到了斯德哥尔摩，忘记了这次经历，直到有一天他连续坐在电脑前11个小时。疲惫不堪，他从椅子上站起来，他的头又开始晕了。

When he regained composure, he looked at the tobacco boxes in a high pile on a shelf above the head of his bed. Next to them hung a framed picture of himself; on the shelf above the desk stood the line of pirated DVDs. Wherever Tim looked, the objects suddenly felt distant, as if he couldn’t reach them.

当他恢复镇静时，他看着床头架上高高堆起的烟草盒子。在它们旁边挂着一张他的画像；在桌子上方的架子上则放着一排盗版DVD。无论Tim看向哪里，这些物品突然变得很遥远，仿佛他无法触及它们。

He thought it would be better if he slept for a while, but the next day it was the same. He was somehow encapsulated, no longer belonging to the real world. This was a different feeling from the fear of cancer. That discomfort he felt physically in his chest; this was something more elusive. Had he become mentally ill? Tim had heard that cannabis could trigger psychosis: a condition in which one found it difficult to interpret reality and in the worst case began to feel persecuted or hear voices, or got ideas about ruling the world.

他以为睡一会儿会好些，但第二天情况依然如故。他好像被包裹起来了，不再属于现实世界。这种感觉不同于对癌症的恐惧。他在胸口感到的不适是身体上的，而这是一种更难以捉摸的感觉。他已经精神错乱了吗？Tim听说大麻可能会引发精神病：一种使人难以解释现实的情况，最坏的情况下会开始感到被迫害或幻听，或者产生统治世界的想法。

After a few days of worry, Tim decided to tell his mother everything. He had smoked and now there was something wrong with his head. Maybe he had gone insane.

经过几天的担忧，Tim决定把一切告诉他的母亲。他吸了烟，现在他的脑袋有些不对劲。也许他已经疯了。

‘It’s as if I’m standing outside of everything,’ Tim said to Anki. ‘I’ve, like, lost contact with myself.’

“就好像我站在所有事情之外一样，”Tim对Anki说，“我就像与自己失去了联系。”

His parents thought it was good that Tim had the confidence and courage to dare to tell them what had happened in France. This would all work out. Klas tried to reassure his son by telling him that he had had similar feelings when he was Tim’s age: a kind of confusion and uncertainty. Terrifying nights when he felt as though reality was failing. He himself had handled it by writing down his thoughts. When he put his thoughts into words, the knots untied, life became steady again. Tim did not have to be afraid of that feeling of discomfort, it was just a matter of finding out what was haunting him.

他的父母认为Tim有勇气和自信向他们坦白在法国发生的事情是一件好事。一切都会好起来的。Klas试图安慰他的儿子，告诉他自己在他这个年纪时，也有过类似的感受：一种困惑和不确定感。在令人恐惧的夜晚，他感觉现实正在崩溃。他通过写下自己的想法来处理这种情况。当他把自己的想法用文字表达出来时，心结就会打开，生活再次变得平稳。Tim不必害怕那种不适感，只需要找出是什么在困扰他。

They got in contact with professionals in child and adolescent psychiatry and accompanied Tim to the hospital in Sabbatsberg, where he was seen by a psychologist who specialised in talking to young people.

他们联系了儿童和青少年精神病学专业人士，并陪同Tim前往Sabbatsberg的医院，在那里他接受了一位专门与年轻人交谈的心理学家的诊疗。

Tim left with mixed feelings. It was nice to talk about it, but the fact that he had needed to seek care strengthened his conviction that something was seriously wrong with him.

Tim带着复杂的情绪离开了。谈论这件事是很好的，但是他需要寻求帮助的事实让他更加坚信自己有严重的问题。

Anki was impressed with her son. She thought about how she herself had been as a teenager – she had never revealed a single bit about her inner life to her parents.

Anki对她的儿子印象深刻。她想起自己十几岁时的样子——她从未向父母透露过内心的任何一点。

‘There is one good thing about this,’ she told her husband. ‘We never have to worry about Tim falling for drugs.’

“这件事情有一个好处，”她告诉她的丈夫。“我们永远不用担心Tim会沉迷于毒品。”

On the surface, Tim was almost back to normal in the following weeks. In the corridor at Östra Real there were other things that caught his attention; he laughed as he sat at the table next to the lockers, talked about documentaries and games with his classmates.

在表面上，接下来的几周里，Tim几乎恢复了正常。在 Östra Real 的走廊上，有其他的事情引起了他的注意；他坐在储物柜旁边的桌子上笑着，与同学们谈论纪录片和游戏。

The anxiety crept in in the evenings, when he was alone and going to sleep. He was afraid that his thoughts would start up again when he turned off the light. After three weeks, the discomfort was still not gone. On the contrary, it was almost worse. Now the thoughts no longer revolved around the actual bad trip in France, but around everything it had put in motion. Tim was worried about the fact that he was worried, and that he did not understand where the feeling came from. He lived a good life in every way, was lucky, even spoiled. A safe and secure upbringing in one of Sweden’s richest areas, a childhood free of any major traumas.

焦虑在晚上悄悄袭来，当他独自一人入睡时。他担心一旦关灯，思绪会再次涌上心头。三周过去了，不适感仍未消失，反而更严重了。现在，他的思维不再围绕着在法国的那次糟糕旅行，而是关注于那次旅行引发的一切。Tim 担心自己为什么会感到担忧，而且他不明白这种感觉从何而来。他的生活在各个方面都很好，非常幸运，甚至有些被宠坏了。他在瑞典最富裕的地区之一长大，童年没有经历过任何重大的创伤。

It must mean that there was something wrong with him himself? That the toxic feelings were simply there in his interior, as steady as the stone houses in Östermalm? Maybe he was doomed to this, equipped with a brain that was damaged, already screwed up.

这一定意味着他自己出了问题？那些有毒的情绪就在他内心深处，像Östermalm的石头房子一样稳固？也许他注定要这样，他的大脑已经受损，已经被搞坏了。

As he made an effort to analyse his situation, his thoughts bounced around in his head without ever gaining a foothold. Tim read online about the concept of derealisation, a condition in which one’s environment felt unreal. It was reminiscent of the mother in Requiem for a Dream, a film he had been particularly taken by. A middle-aged woman dreamed of one day being able to take part in a game show on television. She started taking pills to lose weight and fit into her favourite dress. The madness escalated and after a while she nibbled on pills like sweets as her apartment closed in around her. Eventually, the entire living room was distorted and threatening, and when the paramedics came for her, she asked in a daze if they would drive her to the TV studio.

当他试图分析自己的处境时，他的思绪在脑海中不停地反弹，却始终无法找到着落。Tim在网上读到了人格解体的概念，一种让人感到周围环境不真实的状况。这让他想起了电影《梦之安魂曲》中的母亲，这部电影深深地吸引了他。一个中年女人梦想有一天能够参加电视游戏节目。她开始服用减肥药，试图瘦下来穿上她最喜欢的裙子。她的疯狂不断升级，不久后她就像吃糖果一样咀嚼药丸，而她的公寓也开始包围她。最终，整个客厅都变得扭曲且充满威胁，当医护人员来接她时，她恍惚地问他们是否能开车送她到电视台。

Derealisation. It sounded so frightening. Could this be something similar? Either way, Tim had lost the urge to go out and party. If he got drunk anything could happen, he thought.

人格解体。这听起来太可怕了。这可能是类似的东西吗？无论如何，Tim已经失去了外出聚会的冲动。他想，如果他喝醉了，任何事情都可能发生。

In order to get advice from others who had experienced something similar, he started a thread on Flashback, Sweden’s largest online discussion forum, where people from all over the country exchanged thoughts on everything from gardening to drug addiction to celebrity gossip.

为了从那些有过相似经历的人那里获得建议，他在Flashback上开了一个帖子。Flashback是瑞典最大的在线讨论论坛，来自全国各地的人们在上面交换各种想法，从园艺到药物成瘾再到名人八卦。

Tim wrote:

Tim写下：

Feels like I can’t really think clearly like I could three weeks ago, feels like everything is meaningless when the feeling is at its worst.

感觉自己无法像三周前那样清晰地思考，当情绪达到最低谷时，一切似乎都毫无意义。

I’m also worried about losing control of myself when I’m tipsy. Have never had these kinds of problems before but I’m worried that my anxiety will increase when I get drunk and that I’ll feel like nothing matters and take my life or something :P.

我也担心在喝醉时失去自我控制。以前从未遇到过这样的问题，但我担心当我喝醉时焦虑会加剧，我会觉得什么都不重要，然后自杀什么的:P。

As the weeks went on Tim worked out a strategy for managing his anxiety. He would simply turn off. Stop thinking so damn much. If he kept busy with other things, it would surely fade away.

随着时间的推移，Tim找到了一种管理焦虑的策略。他只需要关掉自己。别再想那么多。只要他忙于其他事情，焦虑肯定会消失。

译者注：文中提到的Flashback的帖子现在仍然能访问，网址

https://www.flashback.org/t394037

原贴是瑞典语，我用deepl翻译了一下