Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your study effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with other people.

There are five key active listening techniques you can use to help you become a more effective listener:

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.

• Look at the speaker directly.

• Put aside distracting thoughts.

• Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!

• Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.

• "Listen" to the speaker's body language.

  Tip: Be aware that active listening can give others the impression that you agree with them even if you don't. It’s also important to avoid using active listening as a checklist of actions to follow, rather than really listening. It may help to practice Mindful Listening if you find that you lose focus regularly.
  

2. Show That You're Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to show that you are engaged.

• Nod occasionally.

• Smile and use other facial expressions.

• Make sure that your posture is open and interested.

• Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions.

• Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are saying... ," are great ways to reflect back.

• Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say... ." "Is this what you mean?"

• Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.

  Tip: If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone says, say so. And ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX. Is that what you meant?"

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if your listening skills are as bad as many people's are, then you'll need to do a lot of work to break these bad habits.

中文翻译：

倾听是你能拥有的最重要的技能之一。你的倾听能力如何，对你的学习效率和你与其他人的关系质量有重大影响。有五个关键的积极倾听技巧，你可以用来帮助你成为一个更有效的听众。

1. 注意力

全神贯注地关注说话者，并确认其信息。认识到非语言交流也会大声 "说话"。

直视说话者。

把分散注意力的想法放在一边。

不要在心理上准备反驳!

避免被环境因素分心。例如，旁人的谈话。

"听 "说话者的身体语言。

提示：要注意积极倾听会给别人留下印象，认为你同意他们的观点，即使你不同意。同样重要的是，要避免将积极倾听作为一个要遵循的行动清单，而不是真正的倾听。如果你发现自己经常失去注意力，练习 "用心倾听 "可能会有帮助。

2. 显示你在听

用你自己的肢体语言和手势来显示你的参与。

偶尔点点头。

微笑和使用其他面部表情。

确保你的姿态是开放的，有兴趣的。

用一些小的口头评论来鼓励说话者继续说下去，如 "是 "和 "嗯哼"。

3. 提供反馈

我们的个人过滤器、假设、判断和信仰会扭曲我们听到的内容。作为一个听众，你的作用是理解正在说的东西。这可能需要你反思所讲的内容并提出问题。

通过转述来反思所讲的内容。"我所听到的是......。，"和 "听起来你好像在说...... "是反思的好方法。，"都是反思的好方法。

提出问题以澄清某些观点。"你说......是什么意思"。"这就是你的意思吗？"

定期总结演讲者的评论。

提示：如果你发现自己对某人所说的话有情绪化的反应，就说出来。并要求提供更多信息。"我可能没有正确理解你的意思，我发现自己对你说的话有个人感情。我认为你刚才说的是XXX。这是你的意思吗？"

要成为一个积极的倾听者，需要很大的注意力和决心。旧的习惯很难打破，如果你的倾听能力像许多人一样糟糕，那么你就需要做大量的工作来打破这些坏习惯。