门罗的小说一般是先蓄水，像一潭静湖般波澜不惊，而后再放水，像瀑布般一泻千里。《激情》这篇小说正是此中典型。这篇小说按照情节来读是较为困难的，门罗在这篇小说中极为精心谨慎的布置了许多细节，一切的一切，都是为了指向她所留白的那个令人悲伤的故事，但这种指向性本身又被处理得模糊，像是营造出了一团迷雾。所以下一期视频，up试着和大家分析一下这篇小说。（原文比较重要，为了方便大家对照阅读，在此将英文原文一并贴出）

激情|PASSION

爱丽丝·门罗Alice Munro

译者：李文俊

不算太久以前，格雷斯曾上渥太华峡谷去寻找特拉弗斯家的避暑别墅。她已有多年未上这个地区来了，这里的变化自然很大。七号公路如今都已绕开市镇，而在以前是直穿而过的。而在她记忆中以前绕弯子的地方，现在反而是笔直的了。加拿大地盾的这个部分有许多小湖泊，一般的地图上都不标出来，因为根本排不下。即使在她弄清了或是自以为弄清了小塞博湖的方位时，从乡村土路又有许多条道路可以通向它，接下去，当她选上了其中的一条时，与它相交的又有那么多条铺有路面的街道，那些街名她连一点儿印象都没有。其实，四十多年前她在这儿时，连街名都还没起呢。那会儿路边也还没有人行道，只有一条土路通往湖边，此外就是环湖有一条曲里拐弯、很不规整的路。

Not too long ago, Grace went looking for the Traverses’ summer house in the Ottawa Valley. She had not been in that part of the country for many years, and of course there had been changes. Highway 7 now avoided towns that it used to go right through, and it went straight in places where, as she remembered, there used to be curves. And this part of the Canadian Shield has many small lakes, which the usual sort of map has no room to identify. Even when she had located Little Sabot Lake, or thought she had, there seemed to be too many roads leading into it from the county road, and then, when she had chosen one of those roads, too many paved roads crossing it, all with names that she did not recall. In fact there had not been any street names when she had been here over forty years ago. And there was no pavement. There was just the one dirt road running towards the lake, then the one dirt road running rather haphazardly along the lake’s edge.

现在出现了一个村子。或者说一片郊区——这样称呼也许更加恰当一些，因为她没见到有什么邮局或是最不起眼的便利店。这片小区占着湖边四五条街那么深的地方，小小的房屋紧挨着，占着一小片一小片的土地。有些无疑是夏季避暑住的，因为窗户上已经钉上了木板，每逢冬季总免不了要这样做的。不过仍然有许多房子显示出长年有人居住的种种迹象——迹象很多，从充塞在院子里的塑料健身器械和户外烤架，以及训练用的自行车、摩托车和野餐用的木桌上都可以看出来，有些人在这仍然算是暖和的九月里坐在桌边吃午饭、喝啤酒。另外也会有人——那就很难见到他们的人影了，是学生或是独身的老嬉皮士——他们会把旗子或是锡纸片挂起来充当窗帘。这些都是造价便宜的小房子，总体上还算结实，有些装了防寒设备，有的却没有。

Now there was a village. Or a suburb, perhaps you could call it, because she did not see any Post Office or even the most unpromising convenience store. The settlement lay four or five streets deep along the lake, with small houses strung close together on small lots. Some of them were undoubtedly summer places—the windows already boarded up, as was always done for the winter season. But many others showed all the signs of year-round habitation—habitation, in many cases, by people who filled the yards with plastic gym sets and outdoor grills and training bikes and motorcycles and picnic tables, where some of them sat having lunch or beer on this September day which was still warm. And by other people, not so visible— they were students maybe, or old hippies living alone—who put up flags or sheets of tinfoil for curtains. Small, mostly decent, cheap houses, some fixed to withstand the winter, and some not.

格雷斯本来会决定掉转车头往回走的，倘若她没看见那座八角形房子的话——它的屋顶周围都饰有回纹格子铁饰，每隔一面墙就有一扇门。那是伍兹家的别墅。她一直记得它是有八扇门的，可是现在看来只有四扇。她从未进去过，不知那里面是怎样隔成小间的，或者究竟有没有隔开。她也不认为特拉弗斯家的任何人曾经进去过。早年间，这座房子四周都是围着高大的树篱的，还有闪光的白杨树，只要湖岸刮过一阵风它们就会飒飒作响。伍兹先生和伍兹太太已经上年纪了——就跟格雷斯现在一样——好像从来也没有朋友或是孩子来探望过他们。他们这所饶有古风、设计奇特的房子现在也显得荒芜且不协调了。邻居们把搁置不用的破东西和他们一时拆散有待重新安装的车子、他们的玩具和待洗的东西，都堆在了这座房子的四周。

Grace would have decided to turn back if she had not seen the octagonal house, with the fretwork along the roof, and the doors in every other wall. The Woodses’ house. She had always remembered it as having eight doors, but it seemed there were only four. She had never been inside to see how, or if, the space was divided into rooms. She didn’t think any of the Travers family had ever been inside, either. The house was surrounded by great hedges, in the old days, and by the sparkling poplar trees that were always rustled by a wind along the shore. Mr. and Mrs. Woods were old—as Grace was now—and had not seemed to be visited by any friends or children. Their quaint original house had now a forlorn, a mistaken, look. Neighbors with their ghetto blasters and their sometimes dismembered vehicles, their toys and washing, were bunched up against either side of it.

当她在沿着路开下去大约四分之一英里处找到特拉弗斯家时，她发现那儿的情况也是一样。现在大道经过这里后还能通向别处，不像以前就终止在房子的前面，而周围的房子距离它四面环绕的宽宽的游廊也只是咫尺之遥了。

It was the same with the Travers house when she found it, a quarter of a mile or so along this road. The road went past it now, instead of ending there, and the houses on either side were only a few feet away from the wraparound deep verandah.

那是格雷斯所看到的第一幢建成这个样子的房子——只有一层，主要的屋顶朝四边一直延伸到游廊的边缘，当中并没有间断之处。后来她在澳大利亚也见到许多房子是跟这一样的。这种风格会让你想到炎炎夏日。

It had been the first house that Grace had ever seen built in this way—one story high, the main roof continuing without a break out over that verandah, on all sides. Later she had seen many like it, in Australia. A style that made you think of hot summers.

过去，你总是能从游廊上跑下来，穿过多尘土的车道末端，再穿过一片长有杂草和野草莓的沙地——那也是特拉弗斯家的产业，然后就跳入——不，事实上是跳着走进湖中。现在你都几乎看不到湖了，因为多出来了一幢结结实实的大房子，是这一带那种为数不多的正规的郊区别墅，还附有能放两辆车的车库呢——沿着这条路一路开来，时不时能见到一幢这样的房子。

You used to be able to run from the verandah across the dusty end of the driveway, across a sandy trampled patch of weeds and wild strawberries, also the Traverses’ property, and then jump—no, actually, wade—into the lake. Now you would hardly be able to see the lake, because of the substantial house— one of the few regular suburban houses here, with a two-car garage—that had been built across that very route.

格雷斯之所以要从事这次远征，想达到的目的究竟是什么呢？也许最最坏的结果就是，她确实找到了她打算要找的东西。能遮风挡雨的屋顶，百叶窗，房前的湖泊，房后高高耸立的枫树、雪松和乳香木。旧貌保存良好，原封不动，但那样的景貌却丝毫也不能说明她自己的经历。而找到了一些如此衰败，虽仍留存却早已不合时宜的东西——就像特拉弗斯的房子如今的情况那样，加了几个屋顶窗，抹了怪刺眼的蓝漆——从长远来说，说不定对自己的伤害倒会稍少一些呢。

What was Grace really looking for when she had undertaken this expedition? Maybe the worst thing would have been to get just what she might have thought she was after. Sheltering roof, screened windows, the lake in front, the stand of maple and cedar and balm of Gilead trees behind. Perfect preservation, the past intact, when nothing of the kind could be said of herself. To find something so diminished, still existing but made irrelevant—as the Travers house now seemed to be, with its added dormer windows, its startling blue paint—might be less hurtful in the long run.

要是发现这个旧宅完全不在了，那又会如何呢？你会大惊小怪。要是有人走过来听你说什么，你会哀叹它的消失。不过那样便会让你感到轻松？陈旧的迷惘与自责莫非就会消亡？

And what if you find it gone altogether? You make a fuss. If anybody has come along to listen to you, you bewail the loss. But mightn’t a feeling of relief pass over you, of old confusions or obligations wiped away?

特拉弗斯先生盖起这座房子——当然，是他让别人帮他盖的，是作为结婚礼物，好让特拉弗斯太太得到一个惊喜的。格雷斯初次见到这座房屋时，它大约已有三十年历史了。特拉弗斯太太的儿女年龄间隔很大——格蕾琴大约二十八九岁，已经结婚有了孩子，莫里二十一，正要上大学的最后一年。还有尼尔，三十五六吧。不过尼尔不姓特拉弗斯。他的名字是尼尔·博罗。特拉弗斯太太以前结过一次婚，那男的后来死了。她在一所培养秘书的学校里教商业英语，凭此挣钱维持生活、养育孩子。特拉弗斯先生在提到她遇到他之前的那段生活时，总把它说得几乎像是在服劳役犯的苦刑，纵使自己此后欣然为她提供一辈子的舒适生活，那都是难以补偿的。

Mr. Travers had built the house—that is, he had it built, as a surprise wedding present for Mrs. Travers. When Grace first saw it, it would have been perhaps thirty years old. Mrs. Travers’ children were widely spaced—Gretchen around twenty-eight or twenty-nine, already married and a mother herself, and Maury twenty-one, going into his last year at college. And then there was Neil, in his midthirties. But Neil was not a Travers. He was Neil Borrow. Mrs. Travers had been married before, to a man who had died. She had earned her living, and supported her child, as a teacher of Business English at a secretarial school. Mr. Travers, when he referred to this time in her life before he met her, spoke of it as a time of hardship almost like penal servitude, something hardly to be made up for by a whole lifetime of comfort, which he would happily provide.

特拉弗斯太太自己却从未这样说过。她曾经跟尼尔住在彭布罗克镇一座大房子隔出来的一套房间里，离铁路很近，她在餐桌上讲的许多故事都是跟那里的生活有关的，像别的房客的事啦，以及那位法裔加拿大房东的事——她学他那口刺耳的法语和乱七八糟的英语。真应该给那些故事起上标题的，就像格雷斯念过的瑟伯所写的那些故事一样——她是在十年级教室后墙根架子上置放的《美国幽默文选》里偶然读到的。（在书架上一并摆放着的还有《最后的男爵》和《桅前两年》。）

Mrs. Travers herself didn’t speak of it this way at all. She had lived with Neil in a big old house broken up into apartments, not far from the railway tracks in the town of Pembroke, and many of the stories she told at the dinner table were about events there, about her fellow tenants, and the French-Canadian land-lord, whose harsh French and tangled English she imitated. The stories might have had titles, like the stories of Thurber’s that Grace had read in The Anthology of American Humor, found unaccountably on the library shelf at the back of her Grade Ten classroom. (Also on that shelf was The Last of the Barons, and Two Years Before the Mast. )

《克罗马蒂老太太爬上屋顶的那一夜》、《邮差是怎样向弗劳尔小姐求爱的》，还有《吃沙丁鱼的那条狗》。这些就是瑟伯书里的几个篇名。

“The Night Old Mrs. Cromarty Got Out on the Roof.” “How the Postman Courted Miss Flowers.” “The Dog Who Ate Sardines.”

特拉弗斯先生从来不讲故事，他吃饭时连话都很少说，不过如果他恰好看到你在注视——比方说——用石块砌起来的壁炉，他就会说，“你对岩石也感兴趣？”并且告诉你每一块石头的出处，以及他又是怎样费尽周折寻觅到那块特殊的粉红色花岗石的——因为特拉弗斯太太有一回瞥向一个路边断岩，看到了类似的一块石头，曾经惊叹不已。他也会向你炫耀一些他自己设计的其实并无特别了不起的装置——厨房里能往外旋转的角柜啦，窗台底下的储物空间啦。他个子高高的，背有些驼，嗓音柔和，稀稀拉拉的几根头发油光光地贴在脑壳上。他连下水时都要穿上浴鞋。他穿着平常的衣服时不显得胖，可是穿着游泳裤时，那上面就显出了白生生往下重叠的肉褶子。

Mr. Travers never told stories and had little to say at dinner, but if he came upon you looking, say, at the fieldstone fireplace, he might say, “Are you interested in rocks?” and tell you where each of them had come from, and how he had searched and searched for the particular pink granite, because Mrs. Travers had once exclaimed over a rock like that, glimpsed in a road cut. Or he might show you such not really unusual features as he himself had added to the house design—the corner cupboard shelves swinging outwards in the kitchen, the storage space under the window seats. He was a tall stooped man with a soft voice and thin hair slicked over his scalp. He wore bathing shoes when he went into the water, and though he did not look fat in his usual clothes, he displayed then a pancake fold of white flesh slopping over the top of his bathing trunks.

那年夏天，格雷斯在小塞博湖北边伯莱瀑布旁边的一家旅馆里找了个活儿。初夏时，特拉弗斯一家到这儿来用过餐。她没有注意到他们——那张桌子不归她管，那天晚上客人又特别多。她在铺设干净餐具准备接待下一拨客人时感觉到有人想和她说话。那是莫里。他说：“我不知道，你是不是愿意有空的时候跟我一起出去走走？”

Grace worked that summer at the hotel at Bailey’s Falls, north of Little Sabot Lake. Early in the season the Travers family had come to dinner there. She had not noticed them—they were not at one of her tables and it was a busy night. She was setting up a table for a new party when she realized that someone was waiting to speak to her.

It was Maury. He said, “I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime?”

格雷斯在摆银餐具，几乎连眼皮都没抬。她说：“被人激将来的吧？”因为他的声音既高又紧张，站在那里直僵僵的，好像来得挺勉强似的。这儿的姑娘都知道，有时一伙从度假村来的年轻人会互相激将，看谁有本事把一位女招待约出去。这倒不完全是闹着玩的——如果邀请被接受，他们真的会到场，只不过有时候仅仅是带你上公园走走，而不是请你去看电影，连咖啡都不请你喝一杯。因此接受邀请的女孩会觉得挺没面子，仿佛真的到了穷途末路那一步似的。

Grace barely looked up from shooting out the silverware. She said, “Is this a dare?” Because his voice was high and nervous and he stood there stiffly, as if forcing himself. And it was known that sometimes a party of young men from the cottages would dare one another to ask a waitress out. It wasn’t entirely a joke—they really would show up, if accepted, though sometimes they only meant to park, without taking you to a movie or even for coffee. So it was considered rather shameful, rather hard up, for a girl to agree.

“什么？”他显然受到了伤害，这时格雷斯停下手里的活儿，抬眼看他。她似乎在一瞬间就把莫里整个人都看了个透，这个真正的莫里。胆怯却很热诚，天真但是很有决心。

“What?” he said painfully, and then Grace did stop and look at him. It seemed to her that she saw the whole of him in that moment, the true Maury. Scared, fierce, innocent, determined.

“好吧。”她快快地说道。她的意思可能是说，好吧，别生气，我知道这不是激将，我知道你不会那样干的。也可以理解为，好吧，我答应一起出去就是了。她自己也不太清楚究竟是哪一种意思。可是他把话理解成同意了，当下便安排起来——连声音都没有压低，也没有注意到周围的用餐者朝他投来的目光——说是第二天下班以后就来接她。

“Okay,” she said quickly. She might have meant, okay, calm down, I know it’s not a dare, I know you wouldn’t do that. Or, okay, I’ll go out with you. She herself hardly knew which. But he took it as agreement, and at once arranged—without lowering his voice, or noticing the looks he was getting from diners around them—that he would pick her up after work on the following night.

他真的带她去看电影了。他们看的片子是《新娘的父亲》。格雷斯一点也不喜欢这部影片。她讨厌里面的那些像伊丽莎白·泰勒的女孩子，她讨厌被宠坏的富家小姐，她们什么负担都没有，只会撒娇发嗲、索钱要物。莫里说那不过是一出逗趣的喜剧罢了，但她说问题不在这里。她也分析不清楚问题关键到底在什么地方。换了别人都会认为，那是因为她当女招待，穷得上不起大学，如果她结婚也想摆这样的排场，那真得节衣缩食省上好多年，自己来负担这笔费用才行。（莫里也是这么想的，不过他对于她能这样想却没一点看不起的意思，相反倒几乎是怀着敬意呢。）

He did take her to the movies. They saw Father of the Bride. Grace hated it. She hated girls like Elizabeth Taylor in that movie, she hated spoiled rich girls of whom nothing was ever asked but that they wheedle and demand. Maury said that it was only supposed to be a comedy, but she said that was not the point. She could not make clear what the point was. Anybody would think that it was because she worked as a waitress and was too poor to go to college, and that if she wanted anything like that kind of wedding she would have to spend years saving up to pay for it herself. (Maury did think this, and was stricken with respect for her, almost with reverence.)

她无法解释，自己也不太明白，她所感觉到的并不完全是妒忌，而是一种愤怒。并非因为她不能那样散漫地花钱购物，那样穿衣打扮。而是因为人们都认为女孩子就应该这样。那就是男人——一般人，所有的人——认为她们应该是的样子。漂亮、当成宝贝似的供着哄着宠着，自私而又蠢笨。女孩子似乎就应该这样，那才有人为之神魂颠倒。这以后呢，又会当上母亲，一心都扑在孩子们的身上。自私倒不自私了，但还是一样无知。永远都是如此。

She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men— people, everybody—thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever.

她正为此而怒气冲冲，但是身边却坐着一个爱上了她的男孩，因为他相信——顷刻之间就相信——她在思想与心灵上都是既成熟又有自己的独立见解的，而且还把她的贫穷视为一圈有思想性的浪漫光环。（他自然知道她穷，不仅是因为她在干着的活儿，而且也因为她说话有很重的渥太华峡谷的乡音，这一点当时连她自己都还未能察觉到。）

She was fuming about this while sitting beside a boy who had fallen in love with her because he had believed—instantly—in the integrity and uniqueness of her mind and soul, and had seen her poverty as a romantic gloss on that. (He would have known she was poor not just because of the job she was working at but because of her strong Ottawa Valley accent, of which she was as yet unaware.)

他尊重她对影片的看法。现在既然听了她结结巴巴、充满火气的分析，他倒也打算试着讲讲自己的想法了。他说，他现在认识到，人性中，再没有比妒忌更为幼稚、更为女人气的了。这一点他算是明白了。他反对妒忌，就跟她不能容忍轻浮、不满足于像一般的女孩子一样。她是不同凡俗的呀。

He honored her feelings about the movie. Indeed, now that he had listened to her angry struggles to explain, he struggled to tell her something in turn. He said that he saw now that it was not anything so simple, so feminine, as jealousy. He saw that. It was that she would not stand for frivolity, was not content to be like most girls. She was special.

格雷斯一直记得那天晚上自己穿的是什么衣服。一条深蓝色的舞裙，一件白上衣——透过那上面花边的镂孔可以窥见她乳胸的上部，还系着根宽宽的玫瑰红色松紧腰带。显然，在表现出来的她与希望别人认定的她之间，是存在着差别的。但她身上绝无那会儿时兴的那种小巧精致或是精心修饰的痕迹。衣裙边上有些破损，事实上，还使她带点儿吉卜赛风格呢，何况还有最不值钱的镀银手镯，以及那一头又长又卷、野性十足的深色头发，若是上班端盘子，她是得把头发用网罩套起来的。

Grace always remembered what she was wearing on that night. A dark-blue ballerina skirt, a white blouse, through whose eyelet frills you could see the tops of her breasts, a wide rose-colored elasticized belt. There was a discrepancy, no doubt, between the way she presented herself and the way she wanted to be judged. But nothing about her was dainty or pert or polished in the style of the time. A bit ragged round the edges, in fact, giving herself gypsy airs, with the very cheapest silver-painted bangles, and the long, wild-looking curly dark hair that she had to put into a snood when she waited on tables.

不同凡俗呀。

Special.

他跟妈妈谈到了她，妈妈说：“你一定要把你的这个格雷斯带到家里来一起吃一顿饭。”

He had told his mother about her and his mother had said, “You must bring this Grace of yours to dinner.”

这对她来说全然是件新鲜事，立刻就使她感到异常愉快。事实上，她一下子就喜欢上特拉弗斯太太了，就跟莫里一下子就爱上了她一样。当然，她一般是不会如此晕头晕脑地被迷住、成为精神上的俘虏的，这不合她的天性，她跟莫里可不一样。

It was all new to her, all immediately delightful. In fact she fell in love with Mrs. Travers, rather as Maury had fallen in love with her. It was not in her nature, of course, to be so openly dumbfounded, so worshipful, as he was.

格雷斯是由她的舅舅舅妈带大的，严格地说应该是舅公舅婆。她母亲在她三岁时就去世了，她父亲移居去了萨斯喀彻温，另行建立起了家庭。带大她的那对老夫妻对她很好，甚至很以她为骄傲，只是不太清楚应该怎么管她，因为他们不善于与别人交流。舅公以编结藤椅为生，他教会了格雷斯该怎么编，以便自己眼力不济时最终有人把这门手艺接过去。可是接着她有了夏季上伯莱瀑布去打工的机会，虽然他不舍得——舅婆也一样——让她去，不过他也相信，在她安定下来之前多体会一些人生经验是应该的。

Grace had been brought up by her aunt and uncle, really her great-aunt and great-uncle. Her mother had died when she was three years old, and her father had moved to Saskatchewan, where he had another family. Her stand-in parents were kind, even proud of her, though bewildered, but they were not given to conversation. The uncle made his living caning chairs, and he had taught Grace how to cane, so that she could help him, and eventually take over as his eyesight failed. But then she had got the job at Bailey’s Falls for the summer, and though it was hard for him—for her aunt as well—to let her go, they believed she needed a taste of life before she settled down.

她当时二十岁，中学刚毕业。照说她应该早一年毕业的，可是她作了个奇怪的选择。她住着的是个很小的镇子——离特拉弗斯太太住过的彭布罗克不远——可那里却有一所能让学生受五年教育的中学，使你够资格去参加政府规定的一种考试，当时是称作高级注册考试的。这样，学生就不必去学所有的中学科目。她在该校念的一年学期结束时——那应该是她最后的一年，也就是十三年级——格雷斯试着去参加了历史、植物学、动物学、英语、拉丁语和法语的考试，得到了本来无此需要的好成绩。可是到九月份她又回来，说她还想学物理、化学、三角、几何与代数，虽然这些科目一般认为都是女学生最不易学好的。那一学年结束时，她已经学了十三年级所有的科目，除了希腊语、意大利语、西班牙语和德语，但她在的那所学校里都没有教这些科目的老师。她在三门数学课与自然科学课程上成绩也都不错，虽然不如上一年那么突出。她也曾想过，那么，是不是可以自学希腊语、西班牙语、意大利语和德语呢，这样，就可以试着参加明年的相关考试了。可是学校的校长跟她谈了一次话，告诉她这样做达不到什么目的，因为她反正也没有可能上大学，更何况大学课程也是不需要如此完备的一份“拼盘”的。她为什么要这么做呢？她有什么计划吗？

She was twenty years old, and had just finished high school. She should have finished a year ago, but she had made an odd choice. In the very small town where she lived—it was not far from Mrs. Travers’ Pembroke—there was nevertheless a high school, which offered five grades, to prepare you for the government exams and what was then called senior matriculation. It was never necessary to study all the subjects offered, and at the end of her first year—what should have been her final year, Grade Thirteen—Grace tried examinations in History and Botany and Zoology and English and Latin and French, receiving unnecessarily high marks. But there she was in September, back again, proposing to study Physics and Chemistry, Trigonometry, Geometry, and Algebra, though these subjects were considered particularly hard for girls. When she had finished that year, she would have covered all Grade Thirteen subjects except Greek and Italian and Spanish and German, which were not taught by any teacher in her school. She did creditably well in all three branches of mathematics and in the sciences, though her results were nothing like so spectacular as the year before. She had even thought, then, of teaching herself Greek and Spanish and Italian and German so that she could try those exams the next year. But the principal of the school had a talk with her, telling her this was getting her nowhere since she was not going to be able to go to college, and anyway no college course required such a full plate. Why was she doing it? Did she have any plans?

没有，格雷斯说，她只是想把义务教育能免费提供的东西全都学到手罢了。以后仍然是去干她编藤椅的手艺活。

No, said Grace, she just wanted to learn everything you could learn for free. Before she started her career of caning.

校长认识这家小旅店的经理，他说，如果她想试着做一下夏季女招待，他可以帮着引荐。他也提到了体验人生况味这样的话。

It was the principal who knew the manager of the inn, and said he would put in a word for her if she wanted to try for a summer waitressing job. He too mentioned getting a taste of life.

看来，即使是身在其位管理教育的人也并不相信学习必定与生活有关系。每当格雷斯告诉别人自己做了什么——她这么做是为了解释为什么自己在中学里迟了一年毕业——那些人听了后没有一个不对她说，你必定是疯了。

So even the man in charge of all learning in that place did not believe that learning had to do with life. And anybody Grace told about what she had done—she told it to explain why she was late leaving high school—had said something like you must have been crazy.

只有特拉弗斯太太没有这样说。她上的是商业学院而不是一所真正的大学，因为人家对她说，她必须得“有实用”，可是她现在懊悔得不得了——她是这样说的——但愿当初给塞进她脑子里的是些——或者首先是些——不实用的东西。

Except for Mrs. Travers, who had been sent to business college instead of a real college because she was told she had to be useful, and who now wished like anything—she said—that she had crammed her mind instead, or first, with what was useless

“不过你的确得有个职业以维持生计，”她说，“编藤椅看来还是件很实用的事情。以后再看看有什么机会吧。”

“Though you do have to earn a living,” she said. “Caning chairs seems like a useful sort of thing to do anyway. We’ll have to see.”

看什么？格雷斯一点儿也不愿想以后的事。她希望生活就像现在一样延续下去。她跟别的姑娘调换班次，使自己星期天从早餐之后就能休息。这意味着每逢星期六晚上她都必须干得很晚。事实上，她是在把和莫里相处的时间换成与莫里一家相处的时间。她和莫里如今再也无法一起去看场电影了，再也没有机会两人单独相聚了。不过他会在她下班时去接她，大约在十一点钟，他们会驾车出去兜兜，在某处停下来吃个蛋筒冰激凌或是一份汉堡包——莫里很严格注意不带她进酒吧，因为她还不到二十一岁——最后找个地方把车子停下来亲热一番。

See what? Grace didn’t want to think ahead at all. She wanted life to continue just as it was now. By trading shifts with another girl, she had managed to get Sundays off, from breakfast on. This meant that she always worked late on Saturdays. In effect, it meant that she had traded time with Maury for time with Maury’s family. She and Maury could never see a movie now, never have a real date. But he would pick her up when her work was finished, around eleven o’clock, and they would go for a drive, stop for ice cream or a hamburger—Maury was scrupulous about not taking her into a bar, because she was not yet twenty-one—then end up parking somewhere.

格雷斯对这样的亲热场景——往往会延续到凌晨一两点钟——的记忆，似乎倒不如别的一些时候的来得更深刻，比如围坐在特拉弗斯家圆餐桌旁时，或是——当每一个人终于都站立起来，端着杯咖啡或是别的什么新鲜饮料——坐到房间另一端的黄褐色皮沙发、摇椅或加了垫子的柳条椅子上的时候。（倒用不着有人花力气来收拾餐具并清洗厨房——第二天早上自有位被特拉弗斯太太称为“我的朋友、能干的艾贝尔太太”来包办这一切的。）

Grace’s memories of these parking sessions—which might last till one or two in the morning—proved to be much hazier than her memories of sitting at the Traverses’ round dining table or—when everybody finally got up and moved, with coffee or fresh drinks—sitting on the tawny leather sofa, the rockers, the cushioned wicker chairs, at the other end of the room. (There was no fuss about doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen—a woman Mrs. Travers called “my friend the able Mrs. Abel” would come in the morning.)

莫里经常把垫子拉到地毯上，在那里坐下。格蕾琴来吃饭从不换一套正规些的衣服，仍然是一条牛仔裤或是军裤，她一般总是交叉着双腿，坐在一把宽大的椅子里。她和莫里都是大身架、宽肩膀，继承了母亲的某些好的相貌——焦糖色的卷发、暖人心的榛子色的眼睛。甚至脸上还有酒窝呢，不过只是莫里才有。小帅哥一个呀，别的女招待都这么称赞他。她们轻轻吹上一声口哨，嘴里说上一句：相好的来了。特拉弗斯太太身高也就是差不多五英尺，罩在亮丽的穆穆袍下面的身体不显得胖，只是挺敦实的，就跟一个还没充分长成的孩子似的。不过她眼睛里那种明亮、专注的目光，随时都会绽放出来的笑意，却是没有也不可能被人模仿或是继承的。儿女们也没有她脸颊上那种粗糙得像是出了疹子似的红颜色。这可能是任何恶劣的天气都不加以考虑硬要出门而造成的，这就像她的体形和她的穆穆袍一样，显示出了她那独来独往的个性。

Maury always dragged cushions onto the rug and sat there. Gretchen, who never dressed for dinner in anything but jeans or army pants, usually sat cross-legged in a wide chair. Both she and Maury were big and broad-shouldered, with something of their mother’s good looks—her wavy caramel-colored hair, and warm hazel eyes. Even, in Maury’s case, a dimple. Cute, the other waitresses called Maury. They whistled softly. Hubbahubba. Mrs. Travers, however, was barely five feet tall, and under her bright muumuus she seemed not fat but sturdily plump, like a child who hasn’t stretched up yet. And the shine, the intentness, of her eyes, the gaiety always ready to break out, had not or could not be imitated or inherited. No more than the rough red, almost a rash, on her cheeks. That was probably the result of going out in any weather without taking thought of her complexion, and like her figure, like her muumuus, it showed her independence.

在那些星期天的晚上，除了家人，也会有几个来客。一对夫妻，也可能是一个单身客人，年龄与特拉弗斯夫妇相仿，脾气也跟他们差不多，女的热情机智，男的话少一些，动作稳重一些，性格也随和一些。大家讲一些有趣的故事，往往是说他们自己是多么可笑。（格雷斯一向都是个热心的交谈者，所以此刻都有点烦自己了，现在再让她回忆起吃饭时讲的那些笑话曾让她觉得多么有趣，都已经很难了。在她老家那边，大多数有刺激性的笑话都带点荤味儿，当然，她的舅公舅婆是不参加进去的。他们家难得来了客人时，大家讲的无非是人家夸奖菜怎么可口啦，而自己则谦虚一番，要不就是聊聊天气，心底却但愿这顿饭能快点吃完。）

There were sometimes guests, besides family, on these Sunday evenings. A couple, maybe a single person as well, usually close to Mr. and Mrs. Travers’ age, and usually resembling them in the way the women would be eager and witty and the men quieter, slower, tolerant. People told amusing stories, in which the joke was often on themselves. (Grace has been an engaging talker for so long now that she sometimes gets sick of herself, and it’s hard for her to remember how novel these dinner conversations once seemed to her. Where she came from, most of the lively conversation took the form of dirty jokes, which of course her aunt and uncle did not go in for. On the rare occasions when they had company, there was praise of and apology for the food, discussion of the weather, and a fervent wish for the meal to be finished as soon as possible.)

在特拉弗斯家，晚饭吃完后，如果天气确实有点凉，特拉弗斯先生就会把炉火点燃。大家会玩特拉弗斯太太称作“愚人字谜”的游戏，其实玩的时候，参加者还得相当聪明才行，即使在他们想编出特幼稚的谜底时。吃饭时言语不多的人现在可以一显身手了。看似荒谬已极的谜面，答案倒可能是相当机智。格蕾琴的丈夫沃特猜中了，过了一会儿格雷斯也猜中了，这使得特拉弗斯太太和莫里都很高兴。（莫里大声喊道：“瞧，我不是跟你们说过吗？她可聪明了。”这话让大家都觉得有趣，只除了格雷斯自己。）特拉弗斯太太带头编一些特别好玩的谜面，好使这个游戏不至于过于沉闷，也免得让猜谜者过于焦虑。

After dinner at the Traverses’, if the evening was cool enough, Mr. Travers lit a fire. They played what Mrs. Travers called “idiotic word games,” at which, in fact, people had to be fairly clever, even if they thought up silly definitions. And here was where somebody who had been rather quiet at dinner might begin to shine. Mock arguments could be built up around claims of great absurdity. Gretchen’s husband Wat did this, and so after a bit did Grace, to Mrs. Travers’ and Maury’s delight (Maury calling out, to everyone’s amusement but Grace’s own, “See? I told you. She’s smart”). And it was Mrs. Travers herself who led the way in this making up of words with outrageous defenses, insuring that the play should not become too serious or any player too anxious.

唯一一次使得玩游戏的人感到不愉快的是梅维斯来吃饭的那回，她是特拉弗斯太太的儿子尼尔的妻子。梅维斯和她那两个孩子住得不远，就在湖下游她父母亲的家里。那天晚上在的只有特拉弗斯自己一家人，还有格雷斯，本来是期待梅维斯、尼尔带着他们那两个小小孩一起来的。可是只有梅维斯一个人来——尼尔是位大夫，这个周末因为有事留在了渥太华。特拉弗斯太太很是失望，但她还是强装笑颜，快乐地喊道：“不过孩子们不至于是留在了渥太华吧，是吗？”

The only time there was a problem of anyone’s being unhappy with a game was when Mavis, who was married to Mrs. Travers’ son Neil, came to dinner. Mavis and her two children were staying not far away, at her parents’ place down the lake. That night there was only family, and Grace, as Mavis and Neil had been expected to bring their small children. But Mavis came by herself—Neil was a doctor, and it turned out that he was busy in Ottawa that weekend. Mrs. Travers was disappointed but she rallied, calling out in cheerful dismay, “But the children aren’t in Ottawa, surely?”

“倒霉的是，没有，”梅维斯说，“不过他们情况正不顺呢。我肯定吃饭时他们会从头闹到底的。小的那个身上出痱子，而米基天知道又怎么不开心了。”

“Unfortunately not,” said Mavis. “But they’re not being particularly charming. I’m sure they’d shriek all through dinner. The baby’s got prickly heat and God knows what’s the matter with Mikey.”

她是个让太阳晒得黑黑的瘦女子，穿一条紫色的连衣裙，用一条相配称的紫色宽带子把深色头发拢在脑后。其实人还是挺好看的，只是嘴角那里多出了两个小鼓包，表示她看什么都不顺眼，人正烦着呢。她盘子里的食物几乎一动都没动，说是对咖喱过敏。

She was a slim suntanned woman in a purple dress, with a matching wide purple band holding back her dark hair. Handsome, but with little pouches of boredom or disapproval hiding the corners of her mouth. She left most of her dinner untouched on her plate, explaining that she had an allergy to curry.

“哦，梅维斯。这太糟了，”特拉弗斯太太说，“是新得的吗？”

“Oh, Mavis. What a shame,” said Mrs. Travers. “Is this new?”

“哦，不。我得了都有好多年了，只是过去碍于礼貌没有说。可是我再也不想半夜半夜地犯恶心了。”

“Oh no. I’ve had it for ages but I used to be polite about it. Then I got sick of throwing up half the night.”

“你要是早些告诉我们——我们另外给你做点别的什么好吗？”

“If you’d only told me— What can we get you?”

“不用麻烦了，我没事儿。反正我一点胃口都没有，天这么热，当妈妈的又有这么多的福气，我是任什么都吃不下去的了。”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I don’t have any appetite anyway, what with the heat and the joys of motherhood.”

她点燃了一支香烟。

She lit a cigarette.

后来，在玩游戏时，她跟沃特为了他用的一个字的意思而争吵起来，翻字典后证明这样解释是可以的，她就说：“哦，我很抱歉。看来我的档次已经远远落后于你们诸位了。”到了每一个人都得交一张纸，写上自己挑选的字，以便下一轮用的时候，她笑了笑，摇摇头说：

Afterwards, in the game, she got into an argument with Wat over a definition he used, and when the dictionary proved it acceptable she said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just outclassed by you people.” And when it came time for everybody to hand in their own word on a slip of paper for the next round, she smiled and shook her head.

“我可想不出有什么字可写的。”

“I don’t have one.”

“哦，梅维斯。”特拉弗斯太太说。接着特拉弗斯先生也说：“写吧，梅维斯。随便哪个用过的字都是可以的。”

“Oh, Mavis,” said Mrs. Travers. And Mr. Travers said, “Come on, Mavis. Any old word will do.”

“可是我一个用过的字都没有。我非常抱歉。我就是觉得今天晚上脑子特别不好使。你们别管我，只管玩你们的好了。”

“But I don’t have any old word. I’m so sorry. I just feel stupid tonight. The rest of you just play around me.”

他们也的确这样玩下去，都装作没出什么不对头的事似的，与此同时，梅维斯抽她的烟，仍然装出一副执意显得很可爱的受伤后的苦笑。不一会儿，她站起身子，说她真的很累，她那两个孩子再麻烦外公外婆管着也不合适了，她在这里做客，感到非常有意思也很受教益，不过现在她真的要回去了。

Which they did, everybody pretending nothing was wrong, while Mavis smoked and continued to smile her determined sweetly hurt unhappy smile. In a little while she got up and said she was awfully tired, and she couldn’t leave her children on their grandparents’ hands any longer, she’d had a lovely and instructive visit, and she must now go home.

“圣诞节来到时，我得送一本牛津字典给你们。”出门时，她发出刺耳的大笑声，不特别针对某一个人地说道。

“I have to give you an Oxford dictionary next Christmas,” she said to nobody in particular as she went out with a bitter tinkle of a laugh.

沃特所用的特拉弗斯家的字典是美国出版的。

The Traverses’ dictionary that Wat had used was an American one.

她走了以后，谁也没有看谁。特拉弗斯太太说：“格蕾琴，你还有力气给我们大家煮一壶咖啡吗？”格蕾琴朝厨房走去，嘴里嘟哝着说：“真逗。耶稣都受不了呀。”

When she was gone none of them looked at each other. Mrs. Travers said, “Gretchen, do you have the strength to make us all a pot of coffee?” And Gretchen went off to the kitchen, muttering, “What fun. Jesus wept.”

“唉。她也不容易，”特拉弗斯太太说，“拖着两个孩子呢。”

“Well. Her life is trying,” said Mrs. Travers. “With the two little ones.”

每个星期里，从早餐清理完餐厅到开始摆设晚餐的桌子，格雷斯可以有一次休息。特拉弗斯太太在得知这一点后，便开动汽车去伯莱瀑布，把格雷斯接到湖滨，让她享受这自由的几个小时。莫里此时是要上班的——这个夏天他是和修路工人一起在修整七号公路——而沃特则要去渥太华他的办公室上班，格蕾琴会陪孩子们游泳或是在湖上划船。特拉弗斯太太一般总会说她要去购物，或是要准备晚餐，或是有信要写，她让格雷斯独自待在宽大、凉爽、有遮阴的起居室里，那里摆着永远有凹痕的沙发和好几个塞得满满的书架。

During the week Grace got a break, for one day, between clearing breakfast and setting up dinner, and when Mrs. Travers found out about this she started driving up to Bailey’s Falls to bring her down to the lake for those free hours. Maury would be at work then—he was working for the summer with the road gang repairing Highway 7—and Wat would be in his office in Ottawa and Gretchen would be swimming with the children or rowing with them on the lake. Usually Mrs. Travers herself would announce that she had shopping to do, or preparations to make for supper, or letters to write, and she would leave Grace on her own in the big, cool, shaded living-dining room, with its permanently dented leather sofa and crowded bookshelves.

喜欢什么就拿下来看好了，”特拉弗斯太太说，“你若想歪一会儿，想睡，怎么的都行。你干的活儿很辛苦，一定很累。我反正保证你能准时回去就是了。”

“Read anything that takes your fancy,” Mrs. Travers said. “Or curl up and go to sleep if that’s what you’d like. It’s a hard job, you must be tired. I’ll make sure you’re back on time.”

格雷斯一分钟也没睡。她光是读书，几乎一动都不动，短裤下面的光腿因为出汗都跟皮革粘在了一起。她浑然不觉，也许是因为读书读得太愉快了吧。连特拉弗斯太太的进进出出她都经常视而不见，直到不得不搭车赶回去上班了才把书放下。

Grace never slept. She read. She barely moved, and below her shorts her bare legs became sweaty and stuck to the leather. Perhaps it was because of the intense pleasure of reading. Quite often she saw nothing of Mrs. Travers until it was time for her to be driven back to work.

特拉弗斯太太也不随便开口和格雷斯聊天，直到过了相当长的时间，格雷斯的思想已经完全从所读的那本书里解脱出来。这时，她才会提到这本书她也读过，还会谈谈自己的感想——不过那感想经常是既有思想内涵又很有趣的。例如，在谈到《安娜·卡列尼娜》时，她说：“我都不记得读过多少遍了，不过我知道最初我喜欢吉提，接着又变得喜欢安娜——哦，多可怕，居然会认可安娜，可是现在，最近的这一次阅读，我发现自己一直都是同情多莉的。多莉下乡时，你知道吧，带上了所有的那些孩子，她必须考虑怎么解决洗澡的问题，那儿没有洗澡盆呀——我寻思人年纪一点点变大同情心也是会产生变化的。情感是会受到洗澡盆左右的。不过，千万别把我的话当真。你不会的，是吧？”

Mrs. Travers would not start any sort of conversation until enough time had passed for Grace’s thoughts to have got loose from whatever book she had been in. Then she might mention having read it herself, and say what she had thought of it—but always in a way that was both thoughtful and lighthearted. For instance she said, about Anna Karenina, “I don’t know how many times I’ve read it, but I know that first I identified with Kitty, and then it was Anna—oh, it was awful, with Anna, and now, you know, the last time I found myself sympathizing all the time with Dolly. Dolly when she goes to the country, you know, with all those children, and she has to figure out how to do the washing, there’s the problem about the washtubs—I suppose that’s just how your sympathies change as you get older. Passion gets pushed behind the washtubs. Don’t pay any attention to me, anyway. You don’t, do you?”

“我恐怕从来都不受别人看法的影响。”连格雷斯自己都对会这样答复感到吃惊，不知道是不是太自以为是了还是过于幼稚了，“不过我很喜欢听您聊天。”

“I don’t know if I pay much attention to anybody.” Grace was surprised at herself and wondered if she sounded conceited or juvenile. “But I like listening to you talk.”

特拉弗斯太太笑了起来，“我也很喜欢听自己聊天呀。”

Mrs. Travers laughed. “I like listening to myself.”

一来二去，没过多久，莫里开始谈论起他们结婚的事来了。短时期内自然还不行——总要等取得资格当上工程师才行吧——可是他谈到结婚这事时像是对她对他都是再自然也不过似的。等我们结了婚，他总是这么说，格雷斯倒是既不质疑也不反驳，只是好奇地听着。

Somehow, around this time, Maury had begun to talk about their being married. This would not happen for quite a while— not until after he was qualified and working as an engineer—but he spoke of it as of something that she as well as he must be taking for granted. When we are married, he would say, and instead of questioning or contradicting him, Grace would listen curiously.

等他们结了婚他们要在小塞博湖边上有一个家。离他父母住处不要太近，也别太远。当然，那只是一处夏季的住所。别的季节里，他们就得住在他当工程师工作需要他去的那个地方了。去什么地方都是有可能的——秘鲁呀，伊拉克呀，西北地区呀。格雷斯感兴趣的倒是有关旅行的想法，而不是他无比骄傲地说到咱们自己的家时所引起的联想。这事在她看来似乎一点都不真实，可是，在她长大的那个小镇的那所房子里帮她舅公干活，以编结藤椅为生，这同样也从来都不像是真实的。

When they were married they would have a place on Little Sabot Lake. Not too close to his parents, not too far away. It would be just a summer place, of course. The rest of the time they would live wherever his work as an engineer should take them. That might be anywhere—Peru, Iraq, the Northwest Territories. Grace was delighted by the idea of such travels— rather more than she was delighted by the idea of what he spoke of, with a severe pride, as our own home. None of this seemed at all real to her, but then, the idea of helping her uncle, of taking on the life of a chair caner, in the town and the very house where she had grown up, had never seemed real either.

莫里老是问她，她在舅公舅婆面前是怎么说他的，她又打算什么时候带他上她家里去与他们见面。其实他那么信口用的家这一个字，在她听来还是觉得有点别扭的，虽然这个字她自己也是不得不用。在她看来，更恰当的说法应当是我舅公舅婆的家。

Maury kept asking her what she had told her aunt and uncle about him, when she was going to take him home to meet them. Even his easy use of that word—home—seemed slightly off kilter to her, though surely it was one she herself had used. It seemed more fitting to say my aunt and uncle’s house.

事实上，在她每星期所写的短柬里，除了提到自己“有时会跟一个夏季在附近打工的男孩出去”之外，她别的什么都还没有说呢。她语气里给人的印象是这男孩也是在旅馆里工作的。

In fact she had said nothing in her brief weekly letters, except to mention that she was “going out with a boy who works around here for the summer.” She might have given the impression that he worked at the hotel.

倒不是说她从来都没有想过要结婚。那样的可能性——一半是必然性吧——在她脑子里也是闪现过的，和靠编藤椅谋生的想法交织在一起。以前虽然没有人追求过她，但她坚信总有一天必定会有的，而且也跟这回似的，男方立时就下定了决心。他会遇上她——说不定是拿了把椅子来修补——见到她，便一见钟情。他必定是很英俊的——跟莫里一样，热情迸发的——也像莫里一样。紧接着的便是让人兴奋的肉体上的亲密接触了。

It wasn’t as if she had never thought of getting married. That possibility—half a certainty—had been in her thoughts, along with the life of caning chairs. In spite of the fact that nobody had ever courted her, she had thought that it would happen, someday, and in exactly this way, with the man making up his mind immediately. He would see her—perhaps he would have brought a chair to be fixed—and seeing her, he would fall in love. He would be handsome, like Maury. Passionate, like Maury. Pleasurable physical intimacies would follow.

但是这样的事却并没有发生。在莫里的车子里，或是在繁星映照下的草地上，她倒是愿意的。莫里虽然有此需要，但是却不愿就这样草率而为。他觉得自己有责任保护她。她那样从容地自我奉献倒令他有点不知所措了。他也许感觉到了冷淡吧。按部就班的投怀送抱是他所不能理解的，也是与他想象中的她不相吻合的。她自己也不理解自己是有多么冷淡——她相信她显示出的急切必定会带来她在孤独与幻想中渴求的欢愉，她觉得接下来该由莫里来接手了。可是他却并没有这样做。

This was the thing that had not happened. In Maury’s car, or out on the grass under the stars, she was willing. And Maury was ready, but not willing. He felt it his responsibility to protect her. And the ease with which she offered herself threw him off balance. He sensed, perhaps, that it was cold. A deliberate offering which he could not understand and which did not fit in at all with his notions of her. She herself did not understand how cold she was—she believed that her show of eagerness must be leading to the pleasures she knew about, in solitude and imagining, and she felt it was up to Maury to take over. Which he would not do.

这样的较劲儿使得两人都很困惑，而且还稍稍有些愠怒和羞愧，因此道别时总不能不以更多的接吻、拥抱和更多的亲热话来加以补偿，免得对方不高兴。对于格雷斯来说，能独处斗室，在单身宿舍里上床，把前几个小时的印象从脑子里排除出去，这倒是件轻松的事。她觉得莫里能独自驱车沿着公路回家，把他对自己的印象重新调整一下，以便继续全心全意地爱她，这对于他，也必定是件能放松神经的事。

These sieges left them both disturbed and slightly angry or ashamed, so that they could not stop kissing, clinging, using fond words, to make it up to each other as they said good night. It was a relief to Grace to be alone, to get into bed in the dormitory and blot the last couple of hours out of her mind. And she thought it must be a relief to Maury to be driving down the highway by himself, rearranging his impressions of his Grace so that he could stay wholeheartedly in love with her.

劳工节后，大多数的女招待都回到中学、大学里去了。可是尽管人手不足，旅馆仍然要开到感恩节——格雷斯是属于留下来继续干活的人。据说今年的十二月初还要再开，办冬季营业——至少是圣诞节那几天是一定要开的，不过厨房和餐厅部的人似乎没一个人知道是不是真会这样。格雷斯在写信给舅公舅婆的口气表示圣诞节她是一定要上班的。事实上她压根儿没提旅馆有段时间会歇业，她只说自己恐怕一直要上班到新年之后。因此他们不用等她回家了。

Most of the waitresses left after Labour Day to go back to school or college. But the hotel was staying open till Thanksgiving with a reduced staff—Grace among them. There was talk, this year, about opening again in early December for a winter season, or at least a Christmas season, but nobody amongst the kitchen or dining-room staff seemed to know if this would really happen. Grace wrote to her aunt and uncle as if the Christmas season was a certainty. In fact she did not mention any closing at all, unless possibly after New Year’s. So they should not expect her.

她为什么要这样做呢？倒不是她还有别的计划。她对莫里说过她觉得应该再帮舅公一年，说不定得想法子另找个人来学编结，与此同时，他，莫里，就可以把大学的最后一年念完。她甚至还答应圣诞节带他回家去见见家人。而他也说圣诞节是正式宣布订婚的好日子。他在把夏天打工的钱攒下来，准备给她买一枚钻戒呢。

Why did she do this? It was not as if she had any other plans. She had told Maury that she thought she should spend this one year helping her uncle, maybe trying to find somebody else to learn caning, while he, Maury, was taking his final year at college. She had even promised to have him visit at Christmas so that he could meet her family. And he had said that Christmas would be a good time to make their engagement formal. He was saving from his summer wages to buy her a diamond ring.

她也一直在攒钱。这样在他上学时就可以坐大巴去金斯顿看望他了。

She too had been saving her wages. So she would be able to take the bus to Kingston, to visit him during his school term.

她说得答应得都很轻巧。但是她真的相信——或者即使是希望，这样的事能够实现吗？

She spoke of this, promised it, so easily. But did she believe, or even wish, that it would happen?

“莫里是个有纯金品质的人，”特拉弗斯太太说，“这，你自己也是能看出来的。他会是一个可爱单纯的丈夫的，像他的父亲一样。他跟他哥哥尼尔不一样。他哥哥尼尔非常聪明。我不是说莫里不聪明，脑子里缺根弦又怎么当得成工程师呢，不过尼尔——他这人深沉。”她因为自己这样说而笑了起来，“深不可测的海底洞穴——我说的是什么呀？很长时间尼尔和我相依为命，再也没有任何人可以指望。因此我觉得他是很了不起的。我不是说他没有幽默感。但是有的时候最嘻嘻哈哈的人反倒很忧郁，是不是这样？你简直弄不懂这究竟是怎么一回事。不过为自己已经成年的孩子担忧，这又有什么用呢？我是有点为尼尔担心，为莫里只是稍稍担心一点点。为格蕾琴，我是压根儿不操心。因为女人总是有内在的力量能让自己活下去的，是不是这样？男人倒不见得有呢。”

“Maury is a sterling character,” said Mrs. Travers. “Well, you can see that for yourself. He will be a dear uncomplicated man, like his father. Not like his brother. His brother Neil is very bright. I don’t mean that Maury isn’t, you certainly don’t get to be an engineer without a brain or two in your head, but Neil is—he’s deep.” She laughed at herself. “Deep unfathomable caves of ocean bear—what am I talking about? A long time Neil and I didn’t have anybody but each other. So I think he’s special. I don’t mean he can’t be fun. But sometimes people who are the most fun can be melancholy, can’t they? You wonder about them. But what’s the use of worrying about your grown-up children? With Neil I worry a bit, with Maury only a tiny little bit. And Gretchen I don’t worry about at all. Because women always have got something, haven’t they, to keep them going? That men haven’t got.”

湖边的别墅不到感恩节是不会封闭的。格蕾琴和她那些孩子自然得回渥太华，因为要上学。莫里呢，这儿的工程结束了，便得去金斯顿。特拉弗斯先生一般只是周末才来这儿。不过，特拉弗斯太太总是会继续待下去的，她告诉格雷斯，有时候和客人在一起，有时候是独自一人住在这里。

The house on the lake was never closed up till Thanksgiving. Gretchen and the children had to go back to Ottawa, of course, because of school. And Maury, whose job was finished, had to go to Kingston. Mr. Travers would come out only on weekends. But usually, Mrs. Travers had told Grace, she stayed on, sometimes with guests, sometimes by herself.

可是她的计划有了变化。九月间，她随特拉弗斯先生回了渥太华。这事来得很突然——周末的晚宴取消了。

Then her plans were changed. She went back to Ottawa with Mr. Travers in September. This happened unexpectedly—the weekend dinner was cancelled.

莫里说她偶尔会出点问题，神经方面的问题。“她必须得休息上一阵子，”他说，“她得进医院去待上一两个星期，使自己能够安定下来。不过她总是会好起来，然后就出院的。”

Maury said that she got into trouble, now and then, with her nerves. “She has to have a rest,” he said. “She has to go into the hospital for a couple of weeks or so and they get her stabilized. She always comes out fine.”

格雷斯说他母亲看上去挺好的，一点儿都不像有这样的病嘛。

Grace said that his mother was the last person she would have expected to have such troubles.

“怎么会得的呢？”

“What brings it on?”

“我想家里人恐怕都不清楚吧。”莫里说。

“I don’t think they know,” Maury said.

可是过了一会儿他又说：“呃。可能是因为她的丈夫。我是指她的第一个丈夫。尼尔的父亲。他的遭遇，等等等等。”

But after a moment he said, “Well. It could be her husband. I mean, her first husband. Neil’s father. What happened with him, et cetera.”

尼尔的父亲原来是自杀的。

What had happened was that Neil’s father had killed himself

“他情绪很不稳定，我猜。”

“He was unstable, I guess.

“不过呢，也不一定是因为她前夫，”他接着说，“也可能是别的原因。我母亲那样年纪的女人常会有这类的问题的。不过问题不大——现在有了各种各样的好药，这种病好治。你不用担心的。”

“But it maybe isn’t that,” he continued. “It could be other stuff. Problems women have around her age. It’s okay though— they can get her straightened around easy now, with drugs. They’ve got terrific drugs. Not to worry about it.”

到感恩节，果然如莫里所预料的那样，特拉弗斯太太病愈出院了。感恩节聚餐像往常一样要在湖边家中进行。而且也按常规在周日举办——跟以前一样，因为星期一大家就要收拾行李，关窗锁门了。这对格雷斯来说倒正合适，因为她的休假仍然是安排在星期天。

By Thanksgiving, as Maury had predicted, Mrs. Travers was out of the hospital and feeling well. Thanksgiving dinner was taking place at the lake as usual. And it was being held on Sunday—that was also as usual, to allow for packing up and closing the house on Monday. And it was fortunate for Grace, because Sunday had remained her day off.

全家人都会到的。没请客人——除非把格雷斯算作客人。尼尔、梅维斯和他们的孩子将住在梅维斯父母亲那里，星期一在那边聚餐，但是星期天他们是要在特拉弗斯家这边过的。

The whole family would be there. No guests—unless you counted Grace. Neil and Mavis and their children would be staying at Mavis’ parents’ place, and having dinner there on Monday, but they would be spending Sunday at the Traverses’.

（未完待续）