声明

1、本专栏会有敏感词汇，本人将其用星号屏蔽

2、无需翻译的话用两条斜杠代替

本模组中所选的曲目

第一关：Satin Panties（缎的内裤）

第二关：High（高潮）

第三关：M.I.L.F（摩罗伊斯兰自由阵线）

各种颜色的字幕代替的角色

红色：Girlfriend（GF）

蓝色：Boyfriend（BF）

紫色：Mommy Mearest

黄色：爆发新闻播报者

黑色或灰色：Mommy Mearest的仆人们以及未知角色（未知角色有前缀）

正片

Phase 1　第一关

Hey BF, they're playin' my momma's song on the radio! You vibin' with it?　嘿 BF 他们在广播里播放我妈妈的歌 你喜欢吗

Yee yee, I'm rockin' with it! Y'know, GF? I don't think I've ever been with someone who makes me as happy as you do. It's so nice having someone as clingy as me by my side.　是啊是啊 我很喜欢 你知道吗 GF 我从来没有和像你这样让我快乐的人在一起过 有个像我这么粘人的人在我身边真好

I wouldn't say I'm clingy, I'm just here to see you kick a** and not die!　我不会说我粘人  我只是来看你怎么打败他们而不会失误的

...　//

What's with the face? It's the truth.　这是什么表情 这是事实

Right. Speaking of relationships... what did you do to Pico a few weeks ago?　没错 说到关系 几周前你对Pico做了什么

Oh him? Well, you know the shadow realm from Yu-Gi-Oh? It's essentially like that. He isn't suffering or anything, but he belongs to us...　哦 他吗 你知道游戏王里的影子王国吗 本质上就像这样 他感觉不到痛苦或者什么 但是他属于我们

Me specifically.　尤其是我

Aight, that's real sus. Why are you having another man around all the time huh?　那真可疑 你为什么总让另一个男人在你身边呢

Are you dense? Why are you jumping to conclusions all defensively? I might have him around all the time, but he isn't even able to interact with me unless I say so.　你很愚钝吗 为什么这么着急下定论呢 他可能一直在我身边 但他甚至不能与我互动 除非我说这样做

None of this seems right to me. The last couple of things you just said make your doubt your feelings for me.　在我看来这些都不对 你刚才说的最后几句话让我怀疑你对我的感情

Come on now! Even if we've only been dating for less 3 months, that doesn't mean s**t--　拜托 即使我们只约了不到三个月的会 那也不算什么啊

You're saying that I don't mean s**t!?　你是说我什么都不是吗

NO! UGH YOU'RE ANNOYING THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT I MEANT--　不是 你真的很烦 那并不是我的意思

*thud*　//

Wait, did you hear that?　等等 你听到什么了吗

(???): Don't waste yer time believin' her.　不要浪费你的时间去相信她

What the--?! Who's there?!　什么鬼 谁在那儿

Also, you're grounded, 'member? Your father and I own that ginger now. YOU can't use him.　还有你被禁足了 记得吗 你父亲和我现在是那块姜的主人了 你不能利用他

Momma??　妈妈

It's me honey! I'm crashin' this party.　就是我 亲爱的 我要打扰一下这个派对

T-THAT'S YOUR MOM????　那 那是你的妈妈吗

YEAH?? DON'T GET ANY IDEAS--　是啊 别有什么想法

SILENCE, GEAREST.　安静点 GF

Bojangles, Bubbles, Alvin, Michael!　//

Ma'am, yes ma'am!!　夫人 是的夫人

Make sure she doesn't get away or compromise this situation.　确保她不会跑掉或者在这种情况下妥协

Aye!　//

Sorry to crash y'alls date, but yer initiation ain't over yet boy!　很抱歉我打扰了你们的约会 但你们的入会还没有结束呢

You said you were staying out of this, mother.　你说过你不会插手这件事 妈妈

I was. Then Gnomeo over here decided to embarrass my shnuckums in front of his fans...　我确实说过 然后Gnomeo决定在他的粉丝面前让我很难堪

You wouldn't believe how much he sobbed in my arms the night it happened. Tell me your name, boy.　你不会相信事情发生的那晚他在我怀里哭得有多厉害 告诉我你的名字 小孩

BF... My name's BF. Like, Boyfriend.　BF 我的名字是BF 比如 Boyfriend

KEKEKEKE!! That's the dumbest name I've ever heard of! Anyways, the name's Mommy Mearest. After this, though, the only thing you'll be callin' me is Mommy.　呵呵 这是我听过的最愚蠢的名字 不管怎么说 我的名字是Mommy Mearest 不过 在这之后你唯一要叫我的就是Mommy

PFFT, you're funny. I like you, lady!　噗嗤 你真有趣 我喜欢你 女士

(Thinking: The hell is she doing? Is she... she's trying to seduce BF, isn't she?!)　（想象中：她在干什么 她想勾引BF 不是吗）

(...Ugh! Whatever, I know BF's heart is in the right place! He's not going to fall for it. )　（呃啊 不管怎样 我知道BF的心是对的 他不会上当的）

(Then again... I made him really upset with me. )　（然后再一次地 我让他对我很生气）

(It might make it easier for him to succumb to her charms... )　（这可能会让他更容易屈服于她的魅力）

(Whatever! I always put my trust in you, BF, and I'll keep doing it. Prove me wrong! )　（不管怎么样 我一直相信你 然后我一直做下去来证明我错了）

Phase 2　第二关

Good evening, beautiful people. This is KOL News Network with an update on an unusual high-speed chase unfolding along Route 76. Two of the persons atop the involved matte-black limos have been identified as ex-popstar Mommy Mearest...　晚上好 美丽的人们 这里是KOL新闻网 有关于76号公路上一次不同寻常高速追击的最新消息 涉案的哑光黑色豪华轿车上的两人被确认为前流行歌星Mommy Mearest

That's a f**kin' stupid name...　那是个很汤姆蠢的名字

AHEM- and her daughter. With a number of other persons assumed to be affiliates and entourage. Whatever the case, the road there is known to be littered with low-hanging street lights, so caution is advised.　咳咳 还有她的女儿 假设其他一些人是附属公司和随行人员 不管怎样 那里的道路上到处都是低矮的路灯 因此建议小心

Seriously, who the f**k put those there?!　说真的 是谁汤姆把那些放在那里的

More on this high-speed action soon...　关于这一高速行动的更多信息

Was I supposed to say that? No? I don't give a s**t, dude.　我应该这么说吗 不应该吗 我才不管呢 伙计

Not bad, boy... not bad at all.　不错 孩子 一点也不坏

This s**t... this s**t is too much!! I see where those abs come from now...　这 这也太多了吧 我知道那些腹肌是怎么来的了

What're you starin' so hard for, boy? You want me??　你这么盯着看干什么 小子 你想要我吗

Tch!! As if.　切 好像吧

You're weird as hell mom! Why is it so hard for you and dad to be normal? Crashing my dates, trapping people into televisions, causing someone to smoke themselves from the sheer dread of having to deal with you guys?? It's so annoying!　妈妈 你太奇怪了 为什么你和爸爸恢复正常就这么难 闯入我的约会 把人们困在电视里 让一些人因为害怕和你们打交道而抽烟 太烦了

Ms.GF, please calm down suga'!　GF女士 冷静一下

Your parents know what's best for ya... just chill on it.　你的父母知道什么对你最好 冷静一点

And bringing your simps along!? You're the worst.　带着你的傻瓜一起来吗 你就是最坏的

Your boyfriend don't seem to think so. Look at how he's pantin' from just bein' in my presence!　你男朋友好像不这么认为 看他一出现在我面前就气喘吁吁的

...　//

Tell me, BF, what is it that you like the most about me? Is it... my scent? My beautiful, long, curly hair...? Or perhaps... somethin' else has your eye?　告诉我 BF 你最喜欢我的哪一点 它是 我的气味吗 还是我美丽的长卷发吗 或者 你的眼睛被别的东西吸引了吗

Can we go to the next song please?　我们能开始下一首歌吗

Why are you dodging the question you manwhore?!　你为什么要回避这个问题 你这个小可爱

(I'm losing him. It's so quick but, I'm already losing him. )　（我失去了他 太快了 但我已经跟不上他了）

(It can't end like this. BF's gotta remember what he's doing this for... )　（不能就这样结束 BF要记住自己这么做是为了什么）

Remember, BF. There's a huge difference between a woman, and a little girl. Perhaps this next one can show you what the performer can do.　记住 BF 一个女人和一个小女孩之间有很大的区别 也许下一个可以告诉你表演者能做什么

Phase 3　第三关

Is it really that important? Nobody gives a s**t about this kid! I'm eight days into a 2-week notice, I'm tired of this s**t.　真的有那么重要吗 没人在乎这孩子 现在离我的离职通知还有八天 我已经厌倦了这种无聊的工作

The blue-haired youth has been identified as Boyfriend.XML, the up-and-coming rapper who made headlines after defeating ex-rockstar Daddy Dearest.　这位蓝头发的年轻人被确认为“Boyfriend.XML” 这位很有前途的说唱歌手击败前摇滚明星Daddy Dearest而登上头条新闻

OKAY! That's enough Mrs.Mearest! I've had enough.　好了 够了 Mearest女士 我受够了

What's the matter boo? Are you losin' focus from seeing me so gracefully? Bet you got so many nasty thoughts in yer head goin' on...　怎么了 你这么优雅地看着我 是不是失去了注意力我打赌你脑子里肯定有很多龌龊的想法

You want me so bad... don't you??　你如此渴望着我 不是吗

(That's it... I think he's gone. )　（就是这样 我想他完了）

(There's no way he doesn't want her after that. It always works on horny men. )　（在那之后 他不可能不想要她 这招对好铯的男人很管用）（为了过审）

(B-but, he can't just go on and lust for her! She just want to snag his soul!! )　（但 但是 他不能就这样对她欲罢不能 她只是想夺走他的灵魂）

(If you were to leave me, I at least want the ability to find solace in your assured safety... )　（如果你要离开我 我至少希望有能力在你的安全中找到安慰）

(D**n it. He's going to leave me now, and it's all cuz of that stupid argument. It's all my fault. )　（可恶 他现在要离开我了 这都是因为那次愚蠢的争吵 都是我的错）

Ugh, just shut the F**K UP!!　呃啊 闭上你的嘴

...wuh??　//

EXCUSE ME!?　打扰一下

I'm sick of hearing you speak! You're f**kin' weird! The way you talk to me makes me feels so infantilized. And have you considered the fact you're speakin' outta turn about your own daughter? All just to impress ME, a random!? It makes me so furious, how could you ever say some foul s**t like that about her... I love your daughter. I ONLY love your daughter. I won't lie, I do find you attractive. You're very pretty, and your voice is nice, and you smell good...　我讨厌听你说话 你真奇怪 你跟我说话的方式让我觉得很幼稚 你有没有考虑过你说自己女儿的事 都是为了给我留下深刻印象 随机的吗 这让我很愤怒 你怎么能这样说她犯规 我爱你的女儿 我只爱你的女儿 我不会撒谎 我觉得你很有魅力 你很漂亮 你的声音很好 你闻起来很香

But I wouldn't even be fawnin' over you if I wasn't so mad at GF! I... I just got really hurt when you told me you weren't clingy...　但如果我不是那么生女朋友的气 我甚至不会讨好你 我当你告诉我你不粘人的时候 我真的很伤心

...and that you only stuck around so much to keep me from dying. And the Pico thing, I just feel really insecure about him always bein' able to be with you...　而你只是为了不让我失误而一直呆在这里 还有关于Pico的事 我只是对他总是能和你在一起感到很不安全

It should be me!　 那应该是我

I only told you that to try and reassure you that I wouldn't let anything hurt you...　我告诉你只是想让你放心 我不会让任何事情伤害你

And that I'm your #1 cheer-leader... I'm sorry that it came off the way it did. I have so much faith in you because you're just... you're just so cool, okay?! It's one thing to be a powerful demon with a stupid amount of confidence, but it's another to be a mere mortal with the feeling of invincibility!! That's you, BF!! No matter what's been thrown at you, you've pulled through with confidence. Whether it's having to face my demon parents, literal monster kids, and being shot at...　我是你的啦啦队队长 很抱歉 事情发生了这样的变化 我对你很有信心 因为你只是 你真是太酷了 好吗 做一个有着愚蠢自信的强大恶魔是一回事 但做一个有着无敌感的凡人又是另一回事 那就是你 BF 不管你遇到了什么 你都信心十足地渡过了难关 无论是要面对我的恶魔父母 真正的怪物孩子 还是被枪撒

You've shown nothing but resilience. I wish I was mortal so I could know how it feels to have your life on the line everyday you wake up. I love you, BF, I feel like if we were to separate we'd actually die. I NEED you.　你只表现出韧性 我希望我是凡人 这样我就可以知道每天醒来时你的生活都处于危险之中的感觉 我爱你 BF 我觉得如果我们分开我们真的会死 我需要你

You feel it too then... this feeling, like our souls are inseparable in a sense? It's real fitting for how corny we are. I'm real sorry too, GF. You got no idea how greatful I am for you. I'm glad we can get this s**t out of the way.　你也感觉到了 这种感觉 就像我们的灵魂在某种意义上是不可分割的吗 这很符合我们的陈词滥调 我也很抱歉 GF 你不知道我对你有多好 我很高兴我们能解决这个问题

Oh... oh this feeling...　哦 这种感受

HUH--　//

Oh dear God, Daddy ain't made me feel like this in sooo long...　哦 亲爱的上帝 Daddy（Dearest）已经很久没有让我有这样的感觉了

Momma??　妈妈

But YOU, BF... you're a whole different breed. A man who knows how to put a b***h like me in her place... AND shows love to his own girl after some tramp dissed her...　但是你 BF 你是一个完全不同的种族 一个知道如何把我这样的女人置于她的位置的男人 在一些流浪汉侮辱了她之后 他对自己的女孩示爱

IT'S THE BARE MINIMUM DOLL, BUT... YOU'RE JUST TOO PERFECT!　这是最小的玩偶 但是 你太完美了

I'll tell you this, BF...　我告诉你 BF

If you lose this, your soul is mine for all eternity. You'll never see GF ever again, I'll use you for whatever the hell I want. I might even make you into an imp.　如果你失败了 你的灵魂将永远属于我 你再也见不到GF了 我想用你做什么都行 我甚至可能把你变成小恶魔

Wait, we were somethin' before bein' demon?　等等 我们变成恶魔之前是什么

You can't refuse this offer, either, or I'll just eviscerate you right here and now!!　你也不能拒绝这个提议 否则我现在就把你开膛破肚

S**t, GF... this might not end too well.　糟了 GF 结局可能不太好

Now that's not like you, to just give in so quickly. Kick my mom's a** for me, 'kay?　这可不像你这么快就屈服了 为我打败我的妈妈 好吗

...　//

Hmph!! Okay! For you baby.　哼 好吧 为了你 宝贝

Boys, this might very well be our last jam togetha under Mrs.Mearest. Go into this next song with the reminder that you were all brothas to me. I love y'all equally! Let's just hope she won't use the Beautiful Evisceratin' Agony Machine...　孩子们 这很可能是我们在Mearest夫人领导下的最后一次聚会 进入下一首歌 提醒大家 你们对我来说都是肉汤 我平等地爱你们 我们只希望她不要用漂亮的去内脏痛苦机器

By the way, baby, I don't want this to be too borin'...　顺便说一句 宝贝 我不想让这太无聊

However, I wanna be the one who takes you to you grave... I can't let wreckless drivin' do it! So dance, dance for me baby!! Maintain your balance, just like my imps...　然而 我想成为那个带你进坟墓的人 我不能让飙车的人干这种事 所以跳舞吧 为我跳舞吧 宝贝 保持平衡 就像我的小鬼们

CUZ THIS S**T'S FINNA GET NUTTY!!　因为这会非常疯狂

Ending　结局

BF... that was amazing... I'm so exhilarated. You sapped me of all of my juices. From my mic that is, hehe... I know you won, but... can you please, just come be a part of my collection?　BF 这很神奇 我很兴奋 你把我榨干了 从我的麦克风 呵呵 我知道你赢了 但是 你能不能来加入我的收藏

I don't want you!! D**N! I'm with your daughter because I love HER. I love the way SHE smells, how HER voice sounds, how HER hair flows in the wind...　我不需要你 可恶 我和你女儿在一起是因为我爱她 我喜欢她的味道 她的声音 她的头发在风中飘动

What are you saying?!　你在说什么

I'M SAYING I LOVE FAT B***HES!! Mainly the one I'm with, but the others are cool too!!　我是说我喜欢胖子 主要是和我在一起的那个 但是其他的也很酷

Eghhjgfhhfh hooohooooo!?　//

ALSO, you just let those imps die. They had lives, too!　还有 你让那些小鬼们趋势了 他们也有自己的生活

Tch, those imps couldn't take the heat, so they got kicked outta the kitchen. By that I mean their limbs are strewn along the road. Agh, you two are perfect for each other!! Whatever, you can have 'em girl.　切 那些小鬼承受不了压力 所以被赶出了厨房 我的意思是他们的四肢散落在路上 啊 你们俩真是天生一对 不管怎样 你可以拥有他们 姑娘

Momma!! Even though you've permanently damaged my view of you and made my ego plummet, I love you for this!　妈妈 尽管你永久地伤害了我对你的看法 让我的自尊直线下降 但我也爱你

You serious, ma?!　没搞错吧

Yeah, you're kinda boring, actually. Welcome to the Dearest family, hon. Let's say, in a month or so, you come by for a... haunted house tour?　是啊 其实你有点无聊 欢迎来到“最亲爱的家庭” 亲爱的 假设一个月左右 你来鬼屋之旅吗

To Be Continued　未完待续