【龙腾网】我们应该嘲笑一见钟情吗？
Jules Salles-Wagner’s 1898 painting ‘Romeoand Juliet.’
（图解：朱尔斯·萨勒斯-瓦格纳1898年画作：《罗密欧与朱丽叶》）
For a lecture course I teach at BrownUniversity called “Love Stories,” we begin at the beginning, with love at firstsight.
我在布朗大学教授一门叫做“爱情故事”的课程，一开始的时候我们是以一见钟情（这个话题）来开场。
To its detractors, love at first sight mustbe an illusion – the wrong term for what is simply infatuation, or a way tosugarcoat lust.
对于它的批评者来说，一见钟情必是一种幻觉，单纯是刻画迷恋的错误术语，或是一种粉饰**的方式。
Buy into it, they say, and you’re a fool.
他们说，要是真信那你就成傻瓜了。
In my class, I point to an episode of “TheOffice,” in which Michael Scott, regional manager for Dunder Mifflin, is such afool: He’s blown away by a model in an office furniture catalog. Michael vowsto find her in the flesh, only to discover that the love of his life is nolonger living. Despairing (but still determined), he visits her grave and singsto her a stirring requiem, set to the tune of “American Pie”:
在我的课上，我点出了《办公室》中的一集，剧中“Dunder Mifflin”纸业公司的区域经理迈克尔•斯考特就是这样的一个傻瓜：他被家具目录页上的一个模特迷了心窍。迈克尔发誓要找到找到她这个大活人，却发现他此生的至爱已经不在人世了。百般绝望（但依然志坚）之下，他去探访了她的坟墓，还唱了一曲震撼人心的安魂曲给她听，还把调子变调成了“美国派”。
（译注：《办公室》（“The Office”）为2005年的美剧，为当年度十佳剧集）
Bye, bye Ms. Chair Model Lady
Idreamt we were married and you treated me nice
We had lots of kids, drinking whiskey and rye
Why’d you haveto go off and die?
再见，再见了椅模女士
曾梦见你我成婚，你待我甚好
我们子孙成群，饮着黑麦威士忌
为什么你非要离开、死去？
This might as well be a funeral for love atfirst sight, since all of this comes at delusional Michael’s expense.
不妨把这个当成一见钟情的葬礼，因为所有这些是以妄想的迈克尔自己为代价的。
If you find yourself smitten with someoneyou’ve only just met, you’ll question whether you should give the feeling somuch weight – and risk ending up like Michael.
如果你发现，你才刚刚认识的一个人让你神魂颠倒，你会怀疑自己是否应该赋予这种感觉太重的分量，并冒着落得个迈克尔下场的风险。
Psychologists and neuroscientists havetried to find some answers. But I would argue that for the best guidance, don’tlook there – look to Shakespeare.
心理学家和神经学家已经尝试着去找出一些答案了。但我会主张：为了最好地指引（这个问题），不要去研究那些，去着眼莎士比亚。
Sifting through the science
通过科学来筛查
Even in a class tailored to romantics, whenI poll my students about whether they believe in love at first sight, around 90percent of the 250 students indicate they don’t.
就算在一堂为浪漫主义者量身定制的课中，当我让我的学生就是否相信一见钟情进行投票时，250个学生中有大约90%表示他们不相信。
At least one study suggests that the restof us agree with my students. Like them, participants in this study believethat love takes time. Two people meet and may or may not be infatuated uponfirst meeting. They gradually develop an intimate understanding of each other.And then, and only then, do they fall in love. That’s just how love works.
至少有一项研究表明我们中其他一些人和我的学生见解一致。和他们一样，这项研究的参与者相信爱是需要时间的。两个人碰面，也许初见就会迷上，也许不会。他们是逐渐形成对彼此的亲密理解的。然后，且只有在那以后，他们才会坠入爱河。这才是爱运作的方式。
Then again, maybe we’re more like MichaelScott than we think. Other surveys suggest that most of us indeed do believe inlove at first sight. Many of us say we’ve experienced it.
然而，我们可能要比自己想象的更接近迈克尔·斯考特。另一些调查表明：我们中的大部分人真的相信一见钟情。我们中的很多人都说自己经历过这种事。
What does brain science say? Some studiesclaim that we can clearly distinguish what happens in our brains at the momentof initial attraction – when chemicals related to pleasure, excitement and anxietypredominate – from what happens in true romantic attachment, when attachmenthormones like oxytocin take over.
对此脑科学又怎么说呢？一些研究声称，我们可以清楚地辨别出现最初吸引时我们的大脑发生的事以及真正的爱慕，前者是涉及愉悦、兴奋和焦虑的化学物质主宰大脑的时候，后者则是由主爱慕的荷尔蒙比如催产素接管了大脑。
But other studies don’t accept such a cleanbreak between the chemistry of love at first sight and of “true” love, insteadsuggesting that what happens in the brain at first blush may resemble whathappens later on.
但其他的研究不接受这种一见钟情和“真”爱背后化学过程的干净切割，相反它们主张：乍看之下大脑中发生的事可能会和稍后发生的类似。
Regardless of whether chemical reactions inlove at first sight and longer-term romantic love are alike, the deeperquestion persists.
无论一见钟情和长期爱情之间的化学反应是否相似，更深的问题仍然存在。
Does love at first sight deserve the nameof love?
即，一见钟情当得起爱情的名头吗？
Shakespeare weighs in
莎士比亚加入了争论
While science and surveys can’t seem tosettle on a definitive answer, Shakespeare can. Cited as an authority in nearlyevery recent book-length study of love, Shakespeare shows how love at firstsight can be as true a love as there is.
虽然科学和调查似乎没法得出一个决定性的答案，莎士比亚却可以。在几乎每一本爱情研究著作中，莎士比亚都被视为权威，他展现了一见钟情这种爱情可以有多真实。
Let’s look at how his lovers meet in “Romeoand Juliet.”
让我们来瞧瞧在《罗密欧与朱丽叶》中，他笔下的有情人是如何邂逅的。
Romeo, besotted with Juliet at the Capuletball, musters the courage to speak with her, even though he doesn’t know hername. When he does, she doesn’t just respond. Together, they speak a sonnet:
罗密欧是在凯普莱特家的舞会上被朱丽叶迷住的，他鼓起勇气同她说话，哪怕不知道她的名字。当他这么做的时候，她不只是有所回应。他们一起诵出一首十四行诗：
Romeo: If I profane with my unworthiest hand
Thisholy shrine, the gentle sin is this:
Mylips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
Tosmooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
罗密欧：若是我手上的尘污亵渎了这神圣的庙宇：
双唇便是含羞的信徒，盼能以亲吻祈求原谅。
Juliet: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your handtoo much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
Forsaints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
Andpalm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
朱丽叶：好信徒，别让手受到侮辱，
这正是虔诚的礼敬；
圣人的手本应该让信徒接触，
掌心的密合远胜于亲吻。
Romeo: Have not saints lips, and holy palmerstoo?
罗密欧：圣人和信徒不都有嘴唇？
Juliet: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must usein prayer.
朱丽叶：有啊，那是用来祷告神明的。
Romeo: O, then, dear saint, let lips do whathands do!
Theypray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
罗密欧：哦，那么，亲爱的圣人，让嘴唇做双手该做的事吧！
他们祈祷；你要承认，免得信心变为绝望。
Juliet: Saints do not move, though grant forprayers' sake.
朱丽叶：圣人不能有俗念，但会顺应信徒的祈愿。
Romeo: Then move not, while my prayer's effectI take.
罗密欧：那便不要动念，让我享受祈祷的灵验。
Even though it’s their first encounter, thetwo converse dynamically and inventively – an intense back-and-forth thatequates love with religion. Love poems typically are spoken by a lover to abeloved, as in many of Shakespeare’s own sonnets or Michael’s requiem.Generally, there’s one voice. Not in the case of Romeo and Juliet – and theenergy between the two is as stunning as it is silly.
尽管这是他们的第一次相遇，两人的交谈却富有活力和创造力，这是一种炽烈的来回反复，将爱情与宗教同等看待。正常情况下，情诗是情人讲给心爱之人听的，就像莎士比亚自己的很多十四行诗或是迈克尔的安魂曲那样。通常，只有一种声音。但罗密欧和朱丽叶的情况却有所不同，两人间澎湃的能量其摄人心魄的程度，和愚蠢同等。
In the first four lines, Romeo privilegeslips over hands, in a bid for a kiss. In the next four lines, Juliet disagreeswith Romeo. She asserts that, actually, hands are better. Holding hands is itsown kind of kiss.
在前四行中，罗密欧赋予双唇特权而不是双手，只为求得一吻。在接下来的四行中，朱丽叶否定了罗密欧。她坚称，事实上手才更好。牵手是其自己的亲吻方式。
Romeo keeps going, noting that saints andpilgrims have lips. Since they do, lips mustn’t be so bad. They should be used.
罗密欧继续深入，指出圣人和信徒都是有嘴唇的。既然他们有，那嘴唇一定没有那么糟糕。应该去使用它们。
But again, Juliet answers Romeo readily:Lips are to be used, yes – but to pray, not to kiss. Romeo tries a third timeto resolve the tension by saying that kissing, far from being opposed toprayer, is in fact a way of praying. And maybe kissing is like praying, likeasking for a better world. Juliet at last agrees, and the two do kiss, after acouplet which suggests that they are in harmony.
但又一次，朱丽叶轻松答道：嘴唇是拿来用的没错，但是用来祈祷，而不是亲吻。罗密欧通过说亲吻完全不是反对祈祷，实际上是一种祈祷的方式，来第三次尝试消除紧张。而且可能亲吻和祈祷差不多，都像是在寻求一个更好的世界。朱丽叶最后同意了，而且在一组暗示他们已和谐无间的对句后，两人确实接吻了。
（译注：对句即couplet，为相连并押韵的两行诗，见于各型英语诗歌）
Romeo and Juliet obviously have unrealisticideas. But they connect in such a powerful way – right away – that it’sungenerous to say that their religion of love is only silly. We can’t dismissit in the same way we can mock Michael Scott. This is not a man with an officefurniture catalog, or two revelers grinding at a club.
很明显罗密欧和朱丽叶有着不切实际的念想。但他们以如此强劲的方式立时就完成了交相勾连，使得说他们的爱情信仰只不过是愚蠢就显得有失公允了。我们没法用嘲笑迈克尔·斯考特的方式，去对它置之不理。这可不是一个男人和一张办公室家具目录，或是两个狂欢酒徒在夜店里贴面起舞。
That two strangers can share a sonnet inspeech means that they already share a deep connection – that they areincredibly responsive to each other.
两个陌生人能在说话中一起生生攒出一首十四行诗，这就意味着他俩间已然存在深度的勾连，这就能让他们难以置信地去交相辉映。
What are we so afraid of?
让我们如此恐惧的到底是什么？
Why would we want to dismiss Romeo andJuliet or those who claim to be like them?
为什么我们会对罗密欧与朱丽叶不屑一顾，或是那些自称类似他们情况的人们？
We talk excitedly about meeting someone andhow we “click” or “really hit it off” – how we feel intimately acquainted eventhough we’ve only just met. This is our way of believing in low-grade love atfirst sight, while still scorning its full-blown form.
我们会兴奋地谈论碰到了某个人，以及我们是如何“心有灵犀”，或是“真的很合拍”，我们如何如何感觉到彼此之间的一见如故，尽管我们只是才认识。我们就是以这种方式在信仰着低等级的一见钟情，同时仍然蔑视其完全成熟的形式。
Imagine if we did what Romeo and Juliet do.They show the signs that we tend to regard as hallmarks of “mature” love –profound passion, intimacy and commitment – right away. For Shakespeare, if youhave this, you have love, whether it takes six months or six minutes.
想象一下，如果我们做了罗密欧和朱丽叶做过的事。他们立时就展现出了我们会倾向于视其为“成熟”爱情标志的迹象：深刻的激情、亲密感以及承诺。在莎士比亚眼里，只要你具备了这些，你就拥有爱情，不管是花费了六个月还是六分钟。
It’s easy to say that people don’t loveeach other when they first meet because they don’t know each other and haven’thad a chance to form a true attachment. Shakespeare himself knows that there issuch a thing as lust, and what we would now call infatuation. He’s no fool.
人们初次相见的时候不会爱上彼此，因为他们不了解彼此而且还不曾拥有机会形成一个真正的承诺。说这种话是很容易的。莎士比亚本人是知道存在**这档子事儿的，而这个东西我们现在会称之为迷恋。他可不傻。
Still, he reminds us – as forcefully as weever will be reminded – that some people, right away, do know each otherdeeply. Love gives them insight into each other. Love makes them pledgethemselves to each other. Love makes them inventive. Yes, it also makes themridiculous.
尽管如此，他以我们会碰到的最强有力的方式提醒了我们：有些人刹那间就能互相了解到深处。爱情赋予了他们对彼此的洞察。爱情引领着他们对互相作出承诺。爱情使他们充满了创造力。是的，爱情也使他们变得荒唐可笑。
But that’s just another of love’s glories.It makes being ridiculous permissible.
但那只是爱情的另一种荣耀。变身可笑因此而得到了准许。
（评论区）
1、I won’t say that Ibelieve in “love at first sight” as the schmaltzy unbreakable thing societytypically believes, and used to be flat out against it as a concept at all… butthere is definitely something that happens sometimes that seems to be beyondrational explanation and beyond basic attraction
我不会说我会像社会通常相信的那个矫情而牢不可破的东西那样相信“一见钟情”，而且我过去是完全反对它作为一个概念的存在的...但确实存在一些时而会发生的事情，似乎超出了理性的解释，也超出了基本的吸引力范围。
about 10 years before I ever met my husbandwe went to the same movie as teenagers. Not only did we both independentlyremember spying on each other across that crowded room a decade later… but Ilater realized I modeled the romantic lead in a novel I was working on at thetime after the man I would later meet and marry.
在我认识我丈夫十年前，我们以青少年的年纪去看了同一个电影。我们俩都记得，十年前我们在穿过那个拥挤的房间时各自自发地偷看彼此...但之后，我意识到我是把这个我会在日后遇见并嫁给的男人拿去比照当时我正攻读的一部小说中的浪漫主义主演了。
