【龙腾网】从一段无性婚姻中脱身的最好的时机是何时？
正文翻译
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：ycb1990 转载请注明出处
My partner and I (her: 35F, me: 39M) have been together for 3 years and have an 18 month old daughter who we both love dearly. Unfortunately we have been in a completely sexless relationship since midway through her pregnancy, almost 2 years now.
我和我的伴侣(她: 35F，我: 39M)已经在一起3年了，有一个18个月大的女儿，我们都非常爱她。 不幸的是，自从她怀孕中期以来，我们一直处于一段完全没有性的关系中，到现在差不多两年了。
I’ve tried my best up until this point to be patient and understanding as giving birth, looking after a baby, and breastfeeding can be extremely exhausting. Our daughter is healthy and there weren’t any usual complications.
在此之前，我已经尽了最大的努力来保持耐心和理解，比如生孩子、照顾婴儿和母乳喂养会让人精疲力尽。我们的女儿很健康，没有出现任何常见的并发症。
I’m totally frustrated and don’t know what to do!
我现在非常沮丧，不知道该怎么办！
评论翻译
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：ycb1990 转载请注明出处
Mindtaker
You do what you want as far ass communication goes, id try one last conversation.
你想怎么做就怎么做吧，我们再进行最后一次交谈。
So here is my advice if you don''t get through to her. I hope you do, but if you dont.
所以如果你不能说服她，我就给你一个建议。我希望你说服她，但是如果你不能，那就采取我以下的建议。
As shown to her by you and your wife.
就像你和你妻子给她看的那样。
So again, keep trying, because you don''t just dump someone, but if she keeps not putting in effort, not being willing to work on fixing things, and not willing to set a better example of a healthy happy relationship to her daugher.
所以，再一次继续尝试，因为你不能随随便便就离开某人。但是如果她继续不愿意付出努力，不想弥补你们之间的关系，不愿意为她的女儿树立一个健康快乐婚姻关系的好榜样。
It would be selfish and shitty parenting to stay. You will now have the responsibility to set a better example to her by finding a relationship based on love, respect, kindness and intimacy. That you don''t settle and just stay in a shitty situation because you had unprotected sex and made another human being.
留下来只会继续这种自私和糟糕的养育方式。你现在有责任为她树立一个更好的榜样，在爱、尊重、善良和亲密的基础上建立一段关系。 你不会安定下来，只是呆在一个糟糕的环境里，因为你做了无保护措施的性爱，并且造就了另一个人。
That you put the kid first, and that you don''t make them pay the tab for your shitty choice in partner.
你把孩子放在第一位，你不会让他们为你糟糕伴侣选择买单。
You co parent, you work together, and you rebuild.
你们共同抚养孩子，一起工作，一起重建家庭。
But again, Hope it works out the other way, but no good parent stays together for the kids, only selfish shitty parents do that, because they are cowards.
最后，再一次希望事情会朝着另一个方向发展，但是没有一个好的父母会只为了孩子才呆在一起，只有自私的垃圾父母才会这么做，因为他们都是懦夫。
QUABITY___ASSUANCE
Holy fuck that''s a good answer.
我靠，这是个好评论。
maddiegr
I love this response so much because I was in this exact situation with my parents. The whole time I just thought that it was normal and that’s how parents acted towards each other.
我非常喜欢这个评论，因为我和我的父母就属于这种情况。 一直以来，我都认为父母之间这样相处都是正常的。
They weren’t hateful or abusive but they didn’t actually love each other and it wasn’t until my dad actually found someone and got remarried that I realized what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like.
他们没有仇恨或虐待，他们实际上并不爱对方，直到我父亲真正找到了另一伴再婚后，我才意识到一段健康的婚姻关系应该是什么样的。
Both parents are so much happier and better off now, and by extension so is he. The greatest gift you can give your children is to show them what it looks like to love and be loved in a healthy way. Staying together ''for the kids'' is bullshit.
父母双方现在生活都更加幸福和美满了富裕了，我弟弟也是如此。你能给你的孩子最好的礼物就是告诉他们什么是健康的爱和被爱。 为了孩子们才呆在一起简直就是胡说八道。
Theapeman12496 12496
This is advice I wish I had been given.
这是我希望别人可以给我的建议。
Amyte255
I think this is a good answer. But I also think it is silly to walk away from a relationship when everything else is good. However, his wife could be going through severe depression or something else. Has this avenue or other mental problem been addressed? Has he asked why she isn''t into intimacy? Is she still intimate in other ways? The post doesn''t give any information on to why the wife doesn''t want intimacy, which suggests OP himself doesn''t know. Wouldn''t it be better to try and get to the the crux of the problem before walking away? I know OP suggested couple''s therapy, but why would the wife refuse? Does she not see she has a problem somewhere?
我认为这是一个很好的答案。 但我也认为，在其他一切都很好的情况下，放弃一段感情是愚蠢的。然而，他的妻子可能正在经历严重的抑郁症或其他什么。这种选择或其他心理问题是否得到解决？ 他有没有问过她为什么不喜欢亲热？ 她还在其他方面有亲密关系吗？ 这篇文章没有提供任何关于妻子为什么不想要亲密关系的信息，这表明博主公自己也不知道。 在离开之前试着找到问题的症结不是更好吗？ 我知道他建议夫妻治疗，但是妻子为什么要拒绝呢？ 难道她看不出她有什么问题吗？
foxy_fluffers
I second this. Stayed for a while with my ex husband for our son, was miserable every waking moment and our kid felt that misery. When we got divorced, you could feel the tension and anxiety lift from our son''s shoulders (he was 3 when we got divorced) and he is in such a better head space now. I''m in a really great relationship with a man who I see a future with; and my son gets two happy people who take turn loving on him...mom and dad.
我同意。 为了我们的儿子，我和前夫在一起呆了一段时间，每时每刻都很痛苦，我们的孩子也感受到了那种痛苦。 当我们离婚的时候，你可以感觉到我们儿子肩膀上的紧张和焦虑消失了(我们离婚的时候他才3岁) ，而且他现在的精神状态好多了。 我和一个我看到未来的男人相处的很好; 我儿子得到了两个都变的快乐的人来轮流爱着他... 妈妈和爸爸。
Never just stay "for the kids" because it sets a precedent that sacrificing one''s happiness is a goal. Happiness is contagious, but so is misery.
永远不要说是“为了孩子” ，因为这开了一个先例，以牺牲一个人的幸福为目标。 快乐是会传染的，痛苦也是一样。
kasierdarkmoon
You said everything I thought when I was reading OP’s post. Great job! Bravo BRAVO
当我在读 博主的帖子的时候，你说了我所想的一切。干得好! 太棒了
SamaelTheSeducer
astonishingly well said. you’re doing a good service please keep commenting on more post.
说得好得令人吃惊。你做的很好，请继续评论更多的帖子。
ProperCut0 5. ProperCut0
Wow, very articulate! What this man/woman said!!
哇，口齿伶俐! 这个男人 / 女人说的话真是绝了! ！
