【搬运】【译】叉婊Pitchfork评Labrinth，Sia， Diplo 2019年专辑《LSD》

搬运自：微信公众号【评论搬一堆】（在原文基础上添加了英语原文与排版调整） 

翻译：Ryan-Chopin

校正：Lynn Liu

排版：Lynn Liu

Diplo, Sia, and Labrinth combine forces for an album of truly forgettable pop music that is too tired to be wired.

Diplo、Sia和Labrinth联手打造了一张让人能“左耳进右耳出”的流行音乐专辑，听完后的疲惫使人麻木。

Pop is dead; here is its corpse; here is Diplo attempting to make the corpse dance. Diplo, for whatever reason, is centered as the main attraction of Labrinth, Sia, and Diplo’s insane trio, whose initials just happen to spell out LSD. The first track on their self-titled album ends with a blaring announcer voice welcoming “people of earth, boys and girls, people of ages” to “the wonderful world of Labrinth, Sia, and Diploooooooooooo.” The vowel stretches for a solid six seconds. It’s the first of many grating miscalculations in an album conspicuously calibrated for radio play and sweaty basements. Who loves Diplo so much that they’re not annoyed by this shout? Who loves Diplo so much at all?

流行音乐已死；这张专辑就是它的尸体；而Diplo试图让尸体跳舞。无论出于什么原因，Diplo都是Labrinth, Sia和Diplo这疯狂三重唱里当之无愧的吸睛之处，他们三人的首字母也恰好拼出了LSD。该同名专辑里的第一首歌以一位播音员响亮的声音结束，他欢迎着“地球上的人们，男孩和女孩，不同年龄的人们”来到“Labrinth, Sia和Diploooooooooo（故意拉长音）的美妙世界”。该元音持续了整整六秒钟，这可以算是这张专辑众多严重误判中的第一个了，且该专辑为了能在广播中和燥热地下室中播放也进行了准确的校正。得多么爱地菠萝（Diplo），才会受得了这般叫嚷啊！到底有谁会那么爱地菠萝？？

Enough people, apparently: LSD is Spotify’s 151st most-listened-to band in the world and they have even snagged a spot on Now That’s What I Call Music! 69, a nice fact until you realize that not even LSD themselves call this music. One of their lead singles is “Audio,” a cloying tangle of onomatopoeia, booze, and droopy synths. “Make the bomb bomb beat, I’ll give you melody,” is a refrain that only gets worse as it scrapes your speakers nine times in three minutes; “We got audio,” Sia breathes as Diplo Diploes on. Audio is the only metric of success here, the only box that needs checking, and they are, at least, loud.

显然，他们的听众也足够多呢：LSD在Spotify全球收听人数最多的乐队中排名第151，他们甚至艰难地挤进了《Now That’s What I Call Music!69（对我而言那才叫音乐！第69集）》这一欧美音乐混杂集中，这个事实不假，但若是你发现甚至连LSD自己都不把这些东西叫做音乐时，这又算什么呢？他们的主打单曲之一      “Audio”，混杂了拟声、催眠的调子和干巴巴的合成器音色，令人生厌。 “气氛搞起来，我随着你的节奏哼唱旋律，”（本文歌词翻译来源网易云音乐）这句副歌只会使这首歌变得更糟，因为它在三分钟内把你的扬声器刮擦了九次，刺耳无比；“我们开着音响，”这句歌词伴着Sia的呼吸，切到了Diplo的“地菠萝之声”。此时此刻，你的音响响度才是衡量成功的唯一标准，他们的“音响（Audio这首歌）”才是唯一有毛病而需要检查的东西，至少他们三个真的很吵。

Labrinth, Sia, and Diplo seem to only exist together for the listener to go, “Oh! Huh...” and press play. Instead of complementing each other, they cram every space of a song with noise. Labrinth, a UK singer and rapper who’s remained relatively unknown despite appearing on Nicki Minaj and Rihanna albums, oscillates between bland, soft vocals and self-important rasping. Diplo wedges thumps and loops into songs that would be better off without them, giving texture without substance. The tragedy of this odd mix is that we lose Sia. This isn’t the jagged vocals, the hidden eyes, the Sia that felt like something close to original. This is Diplo bastardizing female vocals until they’re barely distinctive, and then they just exist to fulfill the “woman crooning something in a pop song” part of the equation.

Labrinth, Sia和Diplo似乎只有在一起的时候才会让听众感觉说：“呕!嗖嘎……”然后按下播放键。他们没有互补，而是用噪音填满了一首歌的每一个音符。英国歌手兼说唱歌手Labrinth一直默默无闻，但他也曾分别出现在Nicki Minaj和Rihanna的专辑中。Diplo的楔子会砰砰作响，循环插进歌曲背景之中，如果没有它们，效果会好一些，而现在的歌就让人感觉没有实质内容。这种奇怪组合的悲剧在于我们会失去对Sia的感觉。这不是关于Sia锯齿状的嗓音和隐藏的眼睛，或Sia那种原创新颖之感。这是Diplo对女歌手的贬低，让人感觉她们几乎没有什么特别之处为止，且感觉她们的存在只是为了稍微满足“女性也要在流行乐领域分一杯羹”这一平等观念。

LSD sound like an algorithmic midden of pop music. There are melodramatic orchestra swells. There are gaudy basslines. There’s something suspiciously close to a xylophone. Honest-to-god handclaps speckle a track. The words “da dum dum dum” are intoned. LSD’s lyrics are asinine—repetition is what they’re after, as the songs whittle down your critical receptors and blanket you in great errors of language. Some choice snippets: “I’mma be the angel to your snow,” “You put the running into run,” “We got our champagne dreams in an endless drought.”

《LSD》听起来就像各种流行音乐的算法的堆砌。有戏剧性的管弦乐队的膨胀。有华丽的低音提琴。有个东西很像木琴。真诚的掌声溅出了痕迹。发出“da dum dum dum”的音调。LSD的歌词是愚蠢的——重复是他们追求的，因为歌曲会削弱你的批判感受器官，让你陷入巨大的语言错误中。一些选择片段:“I’mma be the angel to your snow,” “You put the running into run,” “We got our champagne dreams in an endless drought.”

If LSD were really trying to capitalize on popular music trends and lean into its “how do you do, fellow kids” core, their sound would be sadder. Sia would hurl some line about Xanax. Labrinth would adopt a Post Malone slur-croon. Diplo would let his synths slink instead of clunk. Pop music isn’t fun anymore, not without at least a little nuance, and it’s jarring to go from LSD’s “Today’s Top Hits” neighbors—Billie Eilish, Juice WRLD, Twenty One Pilots—to inane lyrics about getting high and “love” without context or emotion.

如果LSD真的想把握流行音乐的流行趋势，像“how do you do, fellow kids”的表情包那样火，他们的声音会编得更加悲伤。Sia会写出一些带有“镇静剂”的歌词。Labrinth会采用Post Malone式充满脏词的唱调。Diplo会放开他的合成器，改用沉闷的金属声。流行音乐不再有趣，但也不是一点细微的差别都没有。从LSD在“Today’s Top Hits”榜单上的好邻居们——Billie Eilish, Juice WRLD, Twenty One Pilots——到无背景、无情感地描写“性”和“爱”的空洞的歌词，都能看出这样的流行乐没有和谐可言。

More than anything, this album is both tired and wired, like drinking Red Bull after a fifth Red Bull. Not even a Lil Wayne remix can yank it to life. He hops on gamely and recites nonsense like, “Molest you with intellectual,” and, “My love is so ambidextrous.” This is an obviously calculated album that comes across as thoughtless, a thrashing neon garble. Frat boys might enjoy chanting “ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-genius” at each other, but for everyone else just hit next on whatever playlist these songs end up on.

最重要的是，这张专辑让人又疲惫又兴奋，就像喝完五罐红牛之后又喝了一罐。即使是Lil Wayne的混音版也不能让专辑中的歌曲起死回生。他无畏大骂着，还说着诸如“用我的才华玩弄你”和“我可是个情场老手”之类的废话。这张专辑显然经过精心的策划，但对其想传递的感受却没有经过深思熟虑，像是一堆扰人心弦的乱射的霓虹灯。兄弟会的男孩们可能喜欢互相高唱“ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-genius（才子）”，但对其他人来说，不管这些歌曲最终出现在哪个播放列表上，你只会点击切换下一首歌。