【TED】想改变世界？从勇敢地去关心开始

中英文稿

我的最好朋友最近生了一个孩子。 当我遇到他时， 我对目睹这个美丽的小人儿 进入我们的生活感到敬畏。 我也意识到， 他不只是进入我们的生活， 他正在进入这个世界—— 这个疯狂的世界，特别是现在， 让人感到难以置信的充满挑战。 我在工作上花费了很多时间 和人交流我们是谁， 我们必须是谁， 和我们情感的愈合是什么样子。

我第一次抱着他， 我已经准备好了该说什么。 我想让他知道我们是通过挑战 才获得了力量。 我想让他知道， 我们都可以做一些大事， 积少成多。 我想让他知道， 每个人都可以比自己想象的 更坚强，更有韧性。 图片是我抱着小小的特洛纽斯。 我低头看着他， 心都要融化了： 他是一个婴儿。

他不会理解我对他说的任何一个字。 所以，如果我回家写下来 可能更好。 这是给成年人的， 但也是给特洛纽斯的， 当他年纪大到可以阅读时：

世界会对你说， “做一个更好的人。” 不要害怕说“是的”。 从做一个更好的倾听者开始。 从在街上走一走开始。 看看周围的人， 跟他们问好。 问问他们在做什么， 听听他们说什么。 开始做一个更好的朋友， 一个更好的家长，一个更好的孩子； 一个更好的兄弟姐妹， 一个更好的情人，一个更好的伴侣。 开始成为一个更好的邻居。 认识一个你不认识的人，并了解他们。

世界会对你说， “你要做什么事？” 不要害怕说， “我知道我不能做所有事情， 但我可以做一点点。 ” 走进更多的房间说， “我是来帮忙的。” 变得亲切慷慨。 给你可以给的东西， 做你能做的事情。 给美元，给美分，给你的时间， 给你的爱， 奉献你的心，奉献你的精神。

世界会对你说， “我们需要和平。” 在内心找到你的和平， 保持它神圣， 无论你走到哪里都要带着它。 和平只能从人的内心产生， 不能与他人分享或创造。

世界会对你说， “他们是敌人。” 爱会让你知道， 持有不同意见的人， 并不一定是你的敌人。 你可能不会赢得争论， 你未必能改变别人的意向， 但如果你选择这么做， 你总是可以获得 同理心的彻底胜利 —— 对心的理解。

世界会对你说， “我们需要公正。” 调查一下。 发现你所讲的故事之外的真相， 发现事情似乎超出事实的真相。 问，“为什么？” 问：“这公平吗？” 问：“我们怎么到这里来的？” 用同情心来做这件事， 用宽恕心来做这件事。 学会原谅别人， 先开始正确地学习如何原谅自己。 我们不仅是我们的错误， 也不仅是昨天的我们。 我们都应该得到尊严。 通过别人看见你自己。 认识到你的公正就是我的公正， 而我的也是你的。 如果其他人得不到自由， 我们任何一个人都不能得到解放。

世界会对你说， “我很暴力。” 可以这样回应， “我不是。 我的话和我的行为都不暴力。 ”

世界会对你说， “我们需要治愈这个星球。” 回答说：“不，谢谢。 我不需要塑料袋。 ” 回收，再利用。 从你的街区拣起一块垃圾开始。

世界会对你说， “问题太多了。” 不要害怕成为解决方案的一部分。 从讨论问题开始。 我们无法战胜我们忽视的东西。 我们越谈论事情， 我们看到的问题就越多， 因为我们相互联系着。

世界会对你说， “我们需要结束种族歧视。” 先从自己的家庭治愈开始。

世界会对你说， “我们怎么解决偏见和偏执？ 首先在自己的餐桌上 进行第一次谈话。

世界会对你说， “有太多的仇恨。” 献身于爱。 爱自己，才可以 没有偏见，没有歧视的爱别人。 当世界向我们提出需要 重大答案的重大问题时， 我们有两个选择。 一：感到不知所措或者不能胜任， 我们什么都不做。 二：从一个小小的行为 开始，并肯定自己。 我是国家安全局局长， 你也是。 也许没有人任命我们， 没有参议院的确认， 但我们可以保护一个国家。 当你帮助让一个人更安全时， 一个国家才会更安全。 只用伸出一只手说：“你还好吗？ 我在这里， 我们可以将不安全转化成为安全。”

我们发现自己对世界说， “我该怎么办？” “我们应该做什么？” 更好的问题可能是： “我怎么现身？” 我要求世界和平， 但是当我看到家人和朋友 的时候是否平和？ 我要求世界结束仇恨， 但是我是否会携爱出现， 不仅仅是为我认识的人， 还有那些我不认识的人？ 我是否能包容与我自己 的观点相冲突的人？ 我要求世界结束痛苦， 但我是否能帮助那些 在我的街角上受苦的人呢？

我们对世界说， “请改变，我们需要改变。” 但是，我们怎样才能 改变自己的生活呢？ 我们如何改善 我们社区人民的生活呢？

詹姆斯·鲍德温说：“现在的一切， 我们必须假设在我们自己的手中； 我们无权有另外的决择。 ” 这一直是真实的。

没有人告诉哈莉特·塔布曼 她的勇气、目的和使命。 她没有说：“我不是国会议员 或者美国总统， 那么我怎可能参与到 一个像奴隶制一样大的制度 的废除斗争中呢？” 她花了十年的时间，出行十九次， 解放了300人， 一次只解放一小群人。 想想这300个人的 孙子孙女，曾孙子孙女等等。 我们的正义行为 在无尽的正义之河中， 激荡着层层波澜。

无论是卡特丽娜飓风，哈维， 厄玛还是玛丽亚，人们都没有说， “有太多的伤害。我该怎么办？ ” 他们必须努力工作。 那些有船的人进了他们的船， 并开始装载他们遇到 的每一个孩子，女人和男人。 无论远近，人们都给了他们美元， 给了他们美分， 给了他们的心， 给了他们的精神。

我们花了这么多时间， 认为我们没有改变世界的力量。 但我们忘记了改变别人生活 的力量总是在我们手中。 变革并不属于一个群体， 它属于我们所有人。 你不必等待任何人告诉你， 加入进来。 开始吧。 从做你所能做的事情开始， 不论你在哪里， 用你自己的方式去做。

我们不必成为英雄， 穿制服， 称自己是积极分子 或者当选参加。 我们必须有足够的勇气去关心别人。

在特洛纽斯出生的时候， 我去参加过一个叫 基因‧莫雷蒂的人的生日派对。 这是他的100岁生日， 这意味着他经历过大萧条， 第二次世界大战， 争取工人权利的斗争， 实现妇女的选举权， 民权运动， 首次登月，越南战争， 以及第一位黑人总统当选 的所有重大历史事件。 我和他坐在一起，我说： “基因，你已经在美国生活了100年。 你对现状有什么建议吗？ ” 他笑了，简单地对我说：“是的。 尽可能对更多的人做更好的事。 ” 他和我母亲跳舞， 顺便说一下，她的年龄是他的一半， 在一个充满了几代人 的家庭和数百人的房间里， 他们中的许多人 从千里之外去为他庆祝。 我意识到，他不只是给了我建议， 他给了我第一步， 如果我们想要对我们周围的世界 产生真正的、全心全意的影响， 现在，我们每个人 都有能力迈出第一步。

“尽可能对更多的人做更好事。”

谢谢。

 

My best friend recently had a baby. And when I met him, I was in awe of witnessing this tiny, beautiful being enter into our lives. I also had this realization that he wasn't just entering our lives, he was entering the world -- this crazy world that, especially now, feels so incredibly challenging. I spend a lot time in my work talking to people about who we are, who we must be and what our healing looks like.

So the first time I held him, I had my pep talk ready. You know, I wanted him to know that the way we find our strength is through our challenges. I wanted him to know that we can all do something big when we start small. I wanted him to know that each of us is more resilient than we could ever imagine. So here I am holding little Thelonious. I look down at him, and it hits me: he's a baby.

He's not going to understand a single word I say to him. So instead, I thought it would probably be a better idea if I went home and wrote. So, this is for grownups, but it's also for Thelonious, when he's old enough to read it:

The world will say to you, "Be a better person." Do not be afraid to say, "Yes." Start by being a better listener. Start by being better at walking down the street. See people. Say, "Hello." Ask how they are doing and listen to what they say. Start by being a better friend, a better parent, a better child to your parents; a better sibling, a better lover, a better partner. Start by being a better neighbor. Meet someone you do not know, and get to know them.

The world will say to you, "What are you going to do?" Do not be afraid to say, "I know I can't do everything, but I can do something." Walk into more rooms saying, "I'm here to help." Become intimate with generosity. Give what you can give, and do what you can do. Give dollars, give cents, give your time, give your love, give your heart, give your spirit.

The world will say to you, "We need peace." Find your peace within, hold it sacred, bring it with you everywhere you go. Peace cannot be shared or created with others if we cannot first generate it within.

The world will say to you, "They are the enemy." Love enough to know that just because someone disagrees with you, it does not make them your enemy. You may not win an argument, you may not change a mind, but if you choose to, you can always achieve the triumph of radical empathy -- an understanding of the heart.

The world will say to you, "We need justice." Investigate. Find truth beyond the stories you are told. Find truth beyond the way things seem. Ask, "Why?" Ask, "Is this fair?" Ask, "How did we get here?" Do this with compassion. Do this with forgiveness. Learn to forgive others. Start by truly learning how to forgive yourself. We are all more than our mistakes. We are all more than who we were yesterday. We are all deserving of our dignity. See yourself in others. Recognize that your justice is my justice, and mine is yours. There can be no liberation for one of us if the other is not free.

The world will say to you, "I am violent." Respond by saying, "I am not. Not with my words and not with my actions."

The world will say to you, "We need to heal the planet." Start by saying, "No, thank you. I don't need a plastic bag." Recycle, reuse. Start by picking up one piece of trash on your block.

The world will say to you, "There are too many problems." Do not be afraid to be a part of the solutions. Start by discussing the issues. We cannot overcome what we ignore. The more we talk about things, the more we see that the issues are connected because we are connected.

The world will say to you, "We need to end racism." Start by healing it in your own family.

The world will say to you, "How do we speak to bias and bigotry?" Start by having the first conversation at your own kitchen table.

The world will say to you, "There is so much hate." Devote yourself to love. Love yourself so much that you can love others without barriers and without judgment. When the world asks us big questions that require big answers, we have two options. One: to feel so overwhelmed or unqualified, we do nothing. Two: to start with one small act and qualify ourselves. I am the director of national security, and so are you. Maybe no one appointed us and there were no senate confirmations, but we can secure a nation. When you help just one person to be more secure, a nation is more secure. With just one outstretched hand that says, "Are you OK? I am here for you," we can transform insecurity into security.

We find ourselves saying to the world, "What should I do?" "What should we do?" The better question might be: "How am I showing up?" I ask the world for peace, but do I show up with peace when I see my family and friends? I ask the world to end hatred, but do I show up with love not only for those I know, but those I don't know? Do I show up with love for those whose ideas conflict with my own? I ask the world to end suffering, but do I show up for those who are suffering on my street corner? We say to the world, "Please change; we need change." But how do we show up to change our own lives? How do we show up to change the lives of the people in our communities?

James Baldwin said, "Everything now, we must assume is in our own hands; we have no right to assume otherwise." This has always been true.

No one nominated Harriet Tubman to her purpose, to her mission, to her courage. She did not say, "I'm not a congressman or the president of the United States, so how could I possibly participate in the fight to abolish a system as big as slavery?" She instead spent 10 years making 19 trips, freeing 300 people, one group of people at a time. Think about the children of those 300 people, the grandchildren, the great-grandchildren and beyond. Our righteous acts create immeasurable ripples in the endless river of justice.

Whether it's Hurricane Katrina, Harvey, Irma or Maria, people did not say, "There is so much damage. What should I do?" They got to work on what they could do. Those with boats got in their boats and started loading in every woman, man and child they came across. Near and far, people gave their dollars, they gave their cents, they gave their hearts, they gave their spirit.

We spend so much time thinking we don't have the power to change the world. We forget that the power to change someone's life is always in our hands. Change-making does not belong to one group of people; it belongs to all of us. You don't have to wait on anyone to tell you that you are in this. Begin. Start by doing what you can with what you've got, where you are and in your own way.

We don't have to be heroes, wear a uniform, call ourselves activists or get elected to participate. We just have to be brave enough to care.

Now, around the time Thelonious was born, I went to the birthday party of a man named Gene Moretti. It was his 100th birthday, which means he lived in the United States through the Depression, World War II, the struggle for workers' rights, the achievement of a woman's right to vote, the Civil Rights Movement, a man on the moon, the Vietnam War and the election of the first black president. I sat with him, and I said, "Gene, you have lived in America for 100 years. Do you have any advice during these current times?" He smiled and said to me simply, "Yes. Be good to as many people as possible." And as he danced with my mother, who is, by the way, half his age, in a room full of generations of his family and hundreds of people, many of whom traveled thousands of miles to be there to celebrate him, I realized that he had not just given me advice, he had given me the first step that every single one of us is capable of making if we want to create a real, wholehearted impact on the world around us, right now.

"Be good to as many people as possible."

Thank you.