Task Four

 

The text (245 words) for this task is reproduced on the opposite page. It was written by a learner in an upper-intermediate (CEFR level B2) class in response to the following task:

 

Write an essay for the class magazine describing a person you particularly admire. Say why you particularly admire them.

  

a. Identify three key strengths and three key weaknesses of the text. Provide an example of each strength and each weakness.

 

Your answer should focus on some or all of the areas listed below:

 

· Organisation

· Accuracy of grammar

· Accuracy and range of lexis

· Punctuation

· Task achievement

 

 

Write your answers in your answer booklet.

7.1 Guideline Answer

 

· Key strengths and weaknesses Key strengths

· Task achievement

The learner achieves the task fully by describing a person he admires (his mother) and saying why he admires her

description he says where she was born / what her background was / describes how she managed to get to university / what she did once she had graduated

(NB: candidates must mention a minimum of one of these) AND

reasons he admires her because she has reached all her goals / she has strong principles / a good sense of humour / a positive attitude/is hardworking / she has fought against troubles (NB: candidates have to mention a minimum of one of these)

 

· Organisation

The information is in a logical order

he describes his mother's background, her life from past to now and then he gives his reasons for admiring her (NB: candidates have to mention a minimum of two topics)

 

· Accuracy and range of lexis

Some accurate and sophisticated phrases / collocations are used

very successful woman, reached all her goals, very strong principles, good sense of humour, a positive attitude

 

· Accuracy of grammar

Some accurate use of complex sentences

After she spent some time teaching ... she had a great offer, The person that I particularly admire, is my mother.

 

· Accuracy of grammar

Accurate use of present perfect OR present perfect and past simple

When my mother finished ..., he wanted to study ... but her parent didn’t have..., when she found the job she started her degree. ... she had one of the best marks..., she got Economics

degree ..., After she spent time teaching in the University she had a great offer, ... she has reached all her goals, ... and she has always followed

 

 

Key weaknesses

 

· Organisation

Poor paragraphing / one-sentence paragraphs

paragraphs could be between lines 1-5 (background); lines 6-9 or 6-18 (how she got to university & her subsequent career); lines 9-18 (her subsequent career); lines 19-25 (reasons why he admires her) NB: candidates have to mention a minimum of one possible paragraph which was wrong or a corrected version)

 

· Accuracy of grammar

Use of articles

finished the High School, the University, when she found the job, She never defaulted in the life, She got Economics degree, great offer of one bank, she is a Manager of one Office Bank, she is very successful woman, she has a very strong principles

 

· Accuracy of grammar

Use of prepositions

Study a degree, to pay the University, searching a job, of her university, a great offer of

one bank

 

· Range of lexis

Overuse/repetition of after / after that

lines 10, 11, 13, 15

 

· Accuracy of grammar

Use of past continuous

Then, we was searching a job, She was studying

 

· Punctuation

Capitalisation of ordinary nouns and pronouns

in the North-West of Spain, When my mother finished the High School He wanted to   Study a Degree but. After that She was studying, Now She ... Office Bank, For me She is

 

· Punctuation

Inaccurate use/omission of commas OR use of full stops instead of commas

The person that I particularly admire, is my mother; In this place, the most part of the people; Then. We was searching; Now. She is; incredible person. no because