【龙腾网】为什么随着年龄的增长我们会变得不快乐？

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问题：Why do we become unhappy as we grow older?

为什么随着年龄的增长我们会变得不快乐？

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答复：
Chier Hu, former Museum Docent at Shanghai (2017-2019)
upxed Jul 23
Do we become unhappy as we grow older?
Let's take a look at this picture: The ordinate is "Psychological Well-being" to describe how happy people are in life.
We are all getting more unhappy from the birth to the age of 50. Once you have passed the bottom of the fifties, your happiness level will gradually increase, that is, "the older, the happier."
The happiness from teens to twenties is a cliff-like decline.
Before middle age, our happiness has been falling, and it is becoming less easy to be happy.
Why? I have several explanations for this phenomenon:
Neuroscience: "Reason" kills our happiness.
The most obvious factors between the teens and the twenties are "The End of Adolescence" and "The General End of Brain Development." When a person is in puberty, the levels of various hormones in the body change drastically. For a child, it will make his personality sensitive and reaction strong.
Our brains do not stop developing until the age of 25. Before puberty, the white matter volume of the human brain reaches its peak and then falls. In the whole puberty period and a time after that, the gray matter (cell body) volume of the human brain increases substantially linearly, which shows that the connection strength of various regions of the human brain is significantly increased. This will have some impact on people's cognition - people's immature mood during adolescence will gradually diminish, become mature and controlled, which makes us change from "an emotional person" to "a rational person." In terms of Active Level of the Amygdala, at this age, the more people grow, the lower their activation level:
In terms of emotional control, the vmPFC (Ventromedial prefrontal cortex) function in the human brain is getting stronger and stronger:
There is a set of "rational control mechanisms" in the human brain. In the before and early stages of adolescence, this mechanism is not yet mature, and it was not yet taking over our psychological feeling. During this period, people are a "balloon full of emotions," and a little stimulation will make it explode. During this period, the happiness and pain that people feel are extraordinarily extreme and heartfelt. The mood swings of the day were intense. It was easier for us to experience extreme pleasure such as ecstasy.
As we grew up and experienced too much joy and pain, the Rational Control Mechanism of the Human Brain gradually took over our emotions. Our rationality has steadily taken the lead in the perception. Therefore, our happiness and pain are controlled or restricted; In the face of joy and sorrow, we will think more, and thus temperate, calm, and tenacious. — The more you understand, the more pain you are. The more you know, the more you tear.
PS:
A China proverb says, “精神病人思维广(The psychotic's mind is more open )，弱智儿童欢乐多(The mentally handicapped child has more joy) ”. We regard those who keep simplicity and innocence as "fools." When they meet a little thing, they grin on their face. Their income is so low that they can't afford anything, but they are buoyant as cheerful as a lark all day.
As our self-consciousness becomes more independent and clearer, we become more aware of our own abilities and become more aware of how powerless we are. The bigger the world you see, the more other things you know, the more things you subconsciously want and the more you want to control. But your consciousness clearly warns you: "You have limited ability, you can't do it, you can't get it." Paradoxically, your subconscious will seduce you: "These are yours, they should be under your control."
Associating with the truth means that you must "discard carefree and simple happiness." You are no longer a child who cajole by candy, but an adult who does not turn a hair or bat an eyelid in front of the decoy. The more they know, the lower their happiness. We will never feel like palpitating and excitement again.
The price of growth is loss of innocence and collagen. You are tranquil outside, but when at home, your eyebrows knit in a frown. Your worry about personal gains and losses, but you have to pretend to stay calm in front of people
Threshold: numbness vs sensitive
As we become less happy, we also become less painful. Yes, both thresholds are raised at the same time. As we grow, the threshold of happiness and pain will gradually increase. Things that used to make us happy may not be felt now, and it takes more stimulation to feel it.
As shown in my picture, as our mind matures, our mood will be more stable, less fluctuating, closer to 0.
Fresh vs. Fed up
Everything from childhood is your first time: the first time you visit dinosaur fossils, the first time you learned to ride a bicycle, the first time you saw cherry blossoms, the first time you fell in love, the first time you made love…When you were young, everything you did was in contacting new things, so everything was enjoyable.
After growing up, you feel that you are losing happiness because "you are doing the same thing repeatedly." You are doing screw work day after day, and the long repetition makes you lose your sense of freshness, and the repetition becomes a colossal upset.
You have repeatedly been working for a whole day, looking forward to a little environmental change from off-work to treat yourself well. But you have lived the same life for decades, and your time has no breadth. No matter what you play, you feel uninteresting and tedious, because they are no longer fresh, and you lose happiness forever.
You can now see at a glance how you would live before you were 60 years old —You have bought a house with a loan, repayments are stretched over 30 years, and pay 2000 per month... Your wife is just pregnant. You really don't know if you can still support a baby with these leftover salaries. Every morning you open your eyes is "Debt Repayment."
If you like to eat meat and think that eating meat is happy, then in the absence of other's supervision, you will eat it indiscriminately. Eating meat is enjoyment when you are hungry; then, it is "indifferent"; in the end, you are tired of eating, and eating meat becomes uncomfortable.
By the same token, the satisfaction and happiness brought to us by touching New Lovers is hard to exceed three months: We are close to each other, chat idly, breakthrough ambiguity, being together sweetly, stirring together like chewing gum, life quickly loses sweetness, becomes stiff and dry... Finally, we are tired of falling in love.
Most of the joy of life is like this: When you are happy at first, you will repeatedly seek this kind of happiness; then you will feel nothing, and finally, get bored. With the increase of age, the ineffective stimulation that you are seeking becomes more, and you can feel less novelty and excitement.
Neuroscience: Prettified memory / sextive Memory
A lot of happiness is apparent more shine and sparkling only in your memories. Your subconscious mind will embellishes it. When we are not happy, we dig out the old happiness from the memories to recollect the aftertaste. Our brain will automatically beautify the past - it automatically shields those unhappy things and dilutes some of the unpleasant parts.
The painful memories of our minds may have been removed:
Endless test, courses and examination paper;
Campus tyrant bullying you;
Pressure from teachers and parents;
Contest and unsettled friendship between classmates;
Your father has domestic violence against your mother after being drunk;
You live in a single-parent family, and you have all kinds of inferiority;
Evolutionary Psychology: We Need Pain
People's need for pain is far more than they need for happiness, but people will naturally escape the pain, fear of painful additional panic factors, and feel that the conditions of existence are threatened (and this is often not the case today), not the pain itself.
to sum up
This U-shaped curve of happiness represents "the change in our perception of the world" - from the simplicity of childhood to the complexity of adulthood, to the return of the red dust, this mental journey cannot be reversed:
At 5, we are naive and innocent;
At 10, we are ignorant and muddled;
At 20, we are confused and perplexed;
At 30, we are cynical;
At 40, we are disillusioned with the mortal world;
At 50, we see through the vanity of life and the emptiness of the material world;
At 60, we discard the vexation of worldly affairs;
At 70, we recover our simplicity and return to our original nature.
…

Chier Hu, 上海前博物馆讲解员（2017-2019）
随着年龄的增长，我们会变得不快乐吗？
让我们来看看这张照片：坐标是“心理健康”，用来描述人们在生活中的幸福感。
从出生到50岁，我们都越来越不快乐。一旦过了50岁的低谷，你的幸福感就会逐渐提高，也就是说，“越老越幸福”。

 

从十几岁到二十几岁的幸福是一种悬崖般的衰退。
中年以前，我们的幸福感一直在下降，变得越来越不容易幸福。
为什么？我对这种现象有几种解释：
神经科学：“理性”扼杀幸福。
青少年和20多岁之间最明显的因素是“青春期的结束”和“大脑发育基本结束”。当一个人进入青春期时，体内各种激素的水平会急剧变化。对一个孩子来说，这会使他的个性敏感，反应强烈。

 

我们的大脑直到25岁才停止发育。青春期前，人脑白质体积达到峰值，然后下降。在整个青春期及其后一段时间内，人脑灰质（细胞体）体积呈显著线性增加，说明人脑各区域的连接强度明显增强。这会对人们的认知产生一定的影响——人们在青春期的不成熟情绪会逐渐减弱，变得成熟和可控，使我们从“感性的人”变成“理性的人”。就杏仁核的活动水平而言，在这个年龄段，人越长大，其活动水平就越低：

 

在情绪控制方面，人脑中的vmpfc（腹内侧前额叶皮层）功能越来越强：

 

人脑中有一套“理性控制机制”。在青春期的前期和早期，这种机制还不成熟，还没有接管我们的心理感受。在这期间，人是一个“充满情绪的气球”，稍有刺激就会使它爆炸。在这段时间里，人们感受到的幸福和痛苦是异常极端和真挚的。一天的情绪波动很剧烈。我们更容易体验到极度的快乐，如狂喜。
随着我们长大，经历了太多的欢乐和痛苦，人脑的理性控制机制逐渐接管了我们的情绪。我们的理性在认识上稳步领先。因此，我们的快乐和痛苦是可以控制或限制的；在快乐和悲伤面前，我们会想得更多，因此会变得节制、冷静和坚韧。-你越了解，你就越痛苦。你知道的越多，你的眼泪就越多。

PS:
1、中国有句谚语说：“精神病人思维广，弱智儿童欢乐多。（精神病患者的思想更开放，智障儿童的快乐更多）”我们认为那些保持单纯和天真的人像“傻瓜”一样。当他们遇到一件小事时，他们会咧着嘴笑。虽然他们的收入很低，买不起任何东西，但是他们整天兴高采烈。
2、随着我们的自我意识变得越来越独立和清晰，我们越来越意识到自己的能力有限，越来越意识到自己是多么的无力。你看到的世界越大，你知道的其他事情越多，你下意识想要的事情越多，你想控制的事情越多。但你的意识清楚地警告你：“你的能力有限，你做不到，你得不到。”矛盾的是，你的潜意识会诱惑你：“这些是你的，它们应该在你的控制之下。”
3、与真理相联系意味着你必须“抛弃无忧无虑和简单的快乐”，你不再是一个靠糖果哄骗的孩子，而是一个在诱饵面前面不改色、眼皮都不眨一下的成年人。他们知道的越多，他们的幸福感就越低。我们再也不会感到心悸和兴奋了。
4、成长的代价是失去纯真和胶原蛋白。你在外面很平静，但在家的时候，你的眉毛皱成一团。你担心个人的得失，但你必须在别人面前假装冷静。

阈值：麻木与敏感
当我们变得不快乐时，我们也变得不那么痛苦。是的，两个门槛同时提高。随着我们的成长，快乐和痛苦的门槛将逐渐提高。以前让我们快乐的事情现在可能感觉不到了，感觉起来需要更多的刺激。
如图所示，随着心智的成熟，我们的情绪会更稳定，波动更小，接近0。

 

新鲜与厌倦
童年的一切都是你第一次：第一次看恐龙化石，第一次学会骑自行车，第一次看到樱花，第一次坠入爱河，第一次不可描述……当你年轻的时候，你所做的一切都是在接触新的一切都很愉快。
长大后，你会觉得自己因为“重复做同样的事情”而失去了幸福感，日复一日地做着繁重的工作，长时间的重复会让你失去新鲜感，重复就会变成巨大的烦恼。

进化心理学：我们需要痛苦
人们对痛苦的需求远远大于对幸福的需求，但人们自然会逃避痛苦。人们害怕的是痛苦附加的其他恐慌因素，并感到生存条件受到威胁（而今天的情况往往不是这样），而不是痛苦本身。

 

总结
这种幸福的U形曲线代表着“我们对世界的感知发生了变化”——从童年的单纯到成年的复杂，再到红尘的回归，这种精神旅程是无法逆转的：
5岁时，我们天真无邪；
十岁时，我们无知而糊涂；
20岁时，我们感到困惑和困惑；
30岁时，我们愤世嫉俗；
40岁时，我们对凡人世界的幻想破灭了；
50岁时，我们看透了生活的虚荣和物质世界的空虚；
60岁时，我们抛弃世俗的烦恼；
到了70岁，我们恢复了单纯，回到了原来的本性。
…

Aman Shaw, Associate Analyst at Deloitte Consulting (2018-present)
Answered Apr 16, 2018
Because when we were a kid we had some dreams. We wanted to be something we were good at. We thought this world to be a better place.
But when we became adults we saw the reality. We saw that there is a rat race going on. Accomplishing our dream was no more an option. Engineering, Medical, CA were tried and tested methods.
As we became adults we saw how hard our parents worked to get us good education so that when we stand on our own legs we don't have to face what they faced.
As we became adults we realised that this is a world of 7 billion people and no matter what we say we have limited jobs. So not to miss on the very first opportunity we get, we prepare hard and harder! In this process of preparing we lose contact with our near and dear once and atleast we become what what the world wanted us to become and our dreams died.
So we become unhappy as we grow older.

Jess H. Brewer, Be alive now. You may be dead later.
Answered Apr 17, 2018
Speak for yourself.
There are certainly some “down sides” to age, like constant pain or loss of function or the death of friends and family, but there’s still plenty to do, and by the time you’re old you have more resources to do it with.

Jess H. Brewer, 现在还活着。可能晚些时候就死了。
对你自己说：
衰老有一些“负面因素”，比如持续的疼痛、器官功能丧失或亲朋好友的死亡，但仍然有很多事情要做，等你老了，你有更多的资源去做这些。