【龙腾网】为什么中国人在朋友面前不说谢谢？

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为什么中国人在朋友面前不说谢谢？

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Caitlin Schultz 
As a foreigner in China, I try to break down the cultural wall between myself, my friends and coworkers, and even strangers. One of the walls I’ve put around myself is how often I say “thanks.”

作为一个在中国的外国人，我试图打破我自己与我的朋友和同事，甚至陌生人之间的文化障碍。我给自己设置的其中一个障碍就是我多久说一次“谢谢”

When I say “thanks,” the standard responses from strangers are a funny look, followed by, "Don't be so polite," or "Just doing my job!"

当我说“谢谢”的时候，陌生人的标准回答是一个有趣的表情，然后是“不要这么客气”或者“应该做的!”

My friends are more direct, and sometimes they get offended: "You are way too polite, and it's creating distance. Real friends don't need to say 'thank you.' "

我的朋友们则更加直接，有时他们会生气: “你太有礼貌了，这会造成距离感。真正的朋友不需要说谢谢。' "

My saying "thanks" too often is a problem because it is weird and awkward for the other person. They have to try to figure out what the hidden meaning of my saying "thanks" really is (answer: none).

我说“谢谢”太频繁是一个问题，因为这对另一个人来说是奇怪和尴尬的。他们必须试图弄清楚我说“谢谢”的背后真正含义是什么(答案:啥也没有)。

I've tried to stop saying these polite phrases.

我试着不再说这些礼貌用语。

One time, my American friend and I were at my favorite foot massage place, having a normal conversation with the people who work there. One of them brought the tub of hot water to my feet and gave me a towel.

有一次，我和我的美国朋友在我最喜欢的足部按摩场所和那里的工作人员进行正常的交谈。其中一个人把一桶热水端到我脚边，并递给我一条毛巾。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

"Thank you," I very sincerely, but accidentally, said.

我非常诚恳地不小心又说了一句“谢谢你”。

His response made us howl with laughter: "I really have no other option."

他的回答让我们哈哈大笑，他说: “我真的别无选择。”

Wow!

哇！

This was way more direct than, "It's my job."

这比“这是我的工作”直接多了
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

It was more incredulous: "What the heck do you expect me to do instead, you crazy foreigner?"

他更加怀疑地说: “你这个疯狂的外国人，你到底想让我做什么?”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

I whispered to my friend, "Okay, I'm going to try not to say 'thanks' this entire time! Wish me luck!"

我低声对我的朋友说，“好吧，这段时间我尽量不说‘谢谢’! 祝我好运吧!”

Just at that moment, another person was bringing me a cup of hot water to drink.

就在这时，另一个人给我端来一杯热水。

I gave my friend a sideways glance, like, "Watch this!"

我斜眼瞥了朋友一眼，像是说，“看我的吧!”

The woman handed me the cup, and I smiled that white-person smile, and I nodded my head once, very slightly. She nodded back. It was perfect.

那个女人把杯子递给我，我微笑着轻轻地点了点头。她也点了点头。太完美了。

I grinned over at my friend, who bobbed his head in approval of my very Chinese conduct.

我朝我的朋友咧嘴笑了笑，他点了点头，表示赞同我非常中国化的行为。

"Awesome job! You did it!!!" he said.

“太棒了! 你做到了! ! !”他说。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

"Thanks!" I enthusiastically replied.

“谢谢!”我热情地回答。

Ooops, I said it... Some things are just ingrained. But I'm trying.

哎呀，我又说谢谢了.. ... 有些事情是根深蒂固的，但是我正在努力改变。

Xiaoming Guo 
Western culture is Christian culture. Christian culture considers Human Nature to be selfish, greedy, and sinful. In the eyes of the West, humans sin naturally. “Thank you” is a formal etiquette that maintains the relationship between individuals. In the west, Human is evil in essence.

西方文化是基督教文化。基督教文化认为人性是自私、贪婪和罪恶的。在西方人眼中，人类天生就有罪。“谢谢”是一种用来维持个人之间关系的正式礼节。在西方，人本质上被认为是邪恶的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Chinese culture is a Confucian culture. Confucian culture considers Human Nature to be good and kind. If one is selfish and greedy, it is because they get a bad upbringing. Chinese society is built by altruistic relationships. Confucius emphasized the importance of a blood relationship between parents and children, between brothers and sisters, and extended these altruistic family relations to society. When C does B a favor, it is considered Natural. If B says “thank you,” C will consider that B is not taking C as a best friend. A best friend is just like a family member. They live their lives together without distinguishing personal 
boundaries. A “thank you” draws a personal boundary. “Thank you” is usually used for strangers, or new friends, or in a formal business transaction.

中国文化是儒家文化。儒家文化认为人的本性是善良的。如果一个人是自私和贪婪的，那是因为他们没有受到良好的教育。中国社会是由利他主义关系构成的。孔子强调父母和子女之间，兄弟姐妹之间血缘关系的重要性，并将这种利他的家庭关系延伸到社会。当 c 帮了 b 一个忙时，它被认为是自然的。如果 b 说“谢谢”，c 就会认为 b 没有把 c 当成最好的朋友。最好的朋友就像家庭成员一样。他们生活在一起，没有明确的个人界限。一句“谢谢”划定了个人界限。“ 谢谢”通常用于陌生人、新朋友或正式的商务交易。

The West uses “thank you” very often, reflecting Western individualism. Everyone puts up a border separating others. China is a society without much of a personal boundary.

西方经常使用“谢谢你”，这反映了西方的个人主义。每个人都设立了一个分隔他人的边界。中国是一个没有太多个人界限的社会。

The West exchanges gifts among family members at Christmas. It is viewed as ridiculous in China. Chinese family shares the income and the property. The wife is entitled to use the money earned by her husband. Exchanging gifts or “thank you” will destroy the family. It breaks the strong family bond into separate individual entities.

西方人在圣诞节时在家庭成员之间交换礼物。在中国，这被认为是荒谬的。中国家庭成员分享对方的收入和财产。妻子有权使用丈夫挣的钱。交换礼物或者说“谢谢”都会毁了这个家庭。它打破了这个强大的家庭纽带从而成为单独的个体。

Chinese society functions based on altruism. Western society is functioning based on self-interest.

中国社会的运转基于利他主义，而西方社会的运转基于个人利益。

Western sociologists, regardless of Karl Marx or Max Weber, view society as having conflicts of interest. Taoism and Confucian view society as a harmonious whole.

西方社会学家，不管卡尔 · 马克思还是马克斯 · 韦伯，都认为社会存在利益冲突。道家与儒家视社会为一个和谐的整体。

The West may not understand why would like to build a harmonious society. A harmonious society is the aim of Confucian society. The West is fearful that China becomes too strong and, like the west, will be greedy and put national interest above the world. They use their western value system to speculate on how the Chinese would behave as their economy grows and become a powerful and wealthy country.

西方可能不理解为什么中国想要建立一个和谐社会。和谐社会是儒家社会的目标。西方担心中国会变得过于强大，像西方一样变得贪婪，将国家利益置于世界之上。他们利用自己的西方价值体系来推测中国在经济增长并成为一个强大而富裕的国家时会如何表现。

Please think about why China doesn’t need “thank you” among familiar friends. Please welcome China rising. China will bring world peace and harmony.

请想想为什么中国不需要在熟悉的朋友之间说“谢谢”。请欢迎中国崛起。中国将给世界带来和平与和谐。

Domestically, is building a harmonious society. Internationally, is building a Shared Future for all Human Beings. If you have a doubt, ponder this question again.

在国内，中国正在建设一个和谐社会。在国际上，中国正在为全人类建设一个共同的未来。如果你有疑问，请再考虑一下这个问题。

Richard He 
This reminds me of the Chinese ladies in China who would beat and yell at their husbands everyday, but when the time came to when it really mattered (e.g husband gets into car accident/needs organ donor), that woman would be right there by his side ready to help him survive however possible.

这让我想起了一些中国女人，她们每天都会对自己的丈夫拳打脚踢，大喊大叫。但当真正需要帮助的时候(比如丈夫出了车祸/需要器官移植) ，那个女人就会在他身边，无论如何都会帮助他活下去。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处