【心理学译作·双语】How to Empower Yourself 在你感到无力无助的时候，如何鼓舞自己
How to Empower Yourself When You Feel Powerless and Helpless
在你感到无力无助的时候，如何鼓舞自己
Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — Written by Margarita Tartakovsky, MS on September 14, 2019
由科学顾问委员会医学审查——由Margarita Tartakovsky，理科硕士，写于2019年9月14日
Lately, you've been feeling powerless and helpless. Maybe you’ve experienced a devastating loss. Maybe you’re going through a difficult situation, and you feel stuck. Maybe there’s always been an undercurrent of I just can’t do this. I can’t change my circumstances. This is just how it is (and maybe always will be).
你最近感到无力、无助，也许你经历了重大的损失，也许你正位于艰难的处境，也许你感到被困住了，也许，你的内心总是有一种“我做不到”的暗流在涌动。“我无法改变我的处境”。“这就是我的现实（并且可能永远不会改变）”。
Thankfully, just because you feel powerless and helpless doesn’t mean you actually are. This happens because when we get scared, we get tunnel vision, said New York City psychologist Lauren Appio, Ph.D. And it becomes “hard for us to take a step back and review our options because in this state of mind, we don’t feel we have any.”
幸运的是，仅仅因为你觉得无力、无助并不意味着你真的如此。我们有这种感觉是因为当我们害怕的时候，我们的视野就会变得狭窄，纽约心理学家 Lauren Appio 博士说道。并且“我们难以后退一步来审视我们的选项，因为当我们处于这种精神状态下时，我们觉得自己没有任何选择。”
Or, if we start considering options, we zero in on the potential threats, she said. We fear we’ll make the wrong decision, and feel deep regret.
或者，当我们开始考虑选项的时候，我们会放大潜在的威胁，她说。我们惧怕自己会做出错误的决定，并感到深切的悔恨。
Sometimes, people feel powerless and helpless because they’ve been regularly invalidated or treated as incompetent—and “it can be incredibly challenging to know how much power and influence you actually have in your life.”
有时，人们感到无力、无助，是因为他们常常被否定或被视为无能——并且“了解自己对于生活有多大的力量和影响是一件非常具有挑战性的事。”
While therapy is one of the best ways to work through these kinds of issues, especially if they’ve been going on for years, there are also actionable, relatively small steps you can take. Below, therapists shared their expert tips.
尽管心理疗法，尤其对于那些持续多年的问题而言，是应对这类问题最有效的的方法之一，你仍然可以自己采取一些可行的、相对较小的步骤。下面，治疗师们分享了他们的专业建议。
Identify your strengths and skills. Everyone has different natural talents and abilities they’ve honed throughout the years. To discover yours, Appio suggested examining the times you’ve felt empowered and effectively took action: How did I feel in my body when I felt empowered? What thoughts crossed my mind? What actions did I take? What supports did I have? What worked well? Once you know what your specific abilities and talents are, you can use them to help with your current situation, she said.
识别你的强项与技能。每个人都有不同的天然才干和他们多年间磨练得来的能力。为了发现你的那些，Appio建议审视那些你感到被鼓舞并采取了行动的时刻：在我受鼓舞时，我的身体有什么感觉？什么样的想法从我的大脑闪过？我采取了什么样的行动？我得到了什么样的支持？什么是有效的？一旦你知道了自己独特的能力和才干是什么，你就能够利用它们来帮助应付你现在的处境，她说。
Practice creative visualization. Our thinking creates our feelings, so in order to change our feelings, we need to change our thinking first, said Christy Monson, MFT, a retired psychotherapist and author of the book Finding Peace in Times of Tragedy.
练习创造性想象。我们的想法创造了我们的感受，所以为了改变我们的感受，我们需要首先改变我们的想法，Christy Monson说道。她是一位退休的家庭与婚姻治疗师，著有《于痛苦时寻求平静》一书。
Creative visualization—which is simply “daydreaming with a purpose”—helps to create a calm, healing inner world, and to connect to your inner wisdom, she said. For instance, a woman who’d lost her husband felt helpless and was having a hard time focusing on daily tasks. Every day she started visualizing herself discussing her feelings and the tasks she needed to do that day with her late husband. As Monson noted, they’d been married long enough so she knew how he’d respond. She was “able to continue life with him by her side in this visualization process.”
创造性想象——说白了就是有目的地做白日梦——有助于创造一个平静的、治愈的内心世界，并与内部智慧相连接，她说。例如，一个失去了丈夫的妇女感到无助，很难集中精力处理日常事务。她每天一开始都想象自己和已故的丈夫讨论她的感受和她当天需要做的事情。正如Monson特别提到的那样，他们已经结婚足够久了，她已经知道他会如何答复，所以她才“能够在这个想象的过程中继续和他在一起生活。”
To practice this technique on your own, Monson suggested the below to connect to your inner child:
为了帮助你独自练习这个技巧，Monson提出以下建议来帮助你与内心的孩子建立联系：
Sit quietly and comfortably. Notice your hands and feet, and the chair you’re sitting in. Observe the light around you.
安静、舒适地坐着，关注你的手、脚、和你正坐着的椅子，观察你身边的光。
Inhale through your nose slowly, counting your breath, and exhale slowly.
缓缓通过你的鼻子吸气，计数，并慢慢呼吸。
Close your eyes, and picture a flight of stairs.
闭上眼睛，想象一段楼梯。
Climb the stairs, and count each step until you get to 10. Pay attention to the stairs’ details (which can look however you’d like).
爬楼梯，每走一个台阶都计数，直到第十个台阶。爬楼梯的时候集中注意力关注楼梯的细节（可以是你喜欢的任何样子）。
Picture a beautiful space at the top of the stairs (which might be anything from a mountain to the beach to a park).
在楼梯的顶上想象一个美丽的空间（可以是山峰、沙滩、公园或者任何场景）。
Look around this beautiful place, and find the little girl or boy you were and get acquainted with him or her. What does she want? How can you protect him?
环顾这个美丽的场景，找到那个年幼的自己并且与自己结识。他需要什么？你怎样才能保护他？
Fill this scene with anything you’d like, and use all your senses to fully experience it. Savor the light around you, and “feel her [or him] healing in this place.”
用任何你喜欢的事物填充这个场景，并动用你所有的感官充分地体会它。尽情享受你身边的光芒，并且“感到自己在这里疗伤”。
After caring for your inner child, care for yourself.
在照顾了内心的孩子之后，照顾你自己。
Find your inner wise mentor, if you’d like, and discuss your concerns.
找到你内心的聪慧导师，如果你愿意的话，和他讨论你的担忧。
When you’re finished, use the stairs to return.
结束的时候，用那个楼梯回来。
Give thanks for the beautiful place and the wonderful person you are.
感激那个美丽的场景，感谢那个美好的自己。
Address your thoughts. Another way to work with your thoughts is to pay close attention to how they lead to feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. For instance, maybe you start magnifying the negative, and not even thinking about the positive aspects of a situation. Maybe you start thinking catastrophic thoughts: What if I fail? What if everything goes wrong? What if it’s a complete disaster (like it always is)?
应对你的想法。另一个处理你的想法的方式是密切关注它们是如何导致无助感和无力感的。比如，也许你开始夸大事情消极的一面，甚至不去考虑积极的一面。也许你开始思考灾难性的念头：万一我失败了怎么办？万一所有事情都出差错了怎么办？万一这是一场彻底的灾难怎么办（就和往常一样）？
California-based psychotherapist Stefany D. Fuentes, LMFT, regularly has her clients review a list of cognitive distortions and identify whether each one sits hot, warm, or cold. Then she asks clients to challenge each distortion by exploring these questions: “What is the evidence that this thought is true? Is there an alternative explanation? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Has this situation unreasonably grown in importance? Am I worrying excessively about this?”
加州的婚姻与家庭治疗师Stefany D. Fuentes定期让她的客户检阅一份认知扭曲的清单，并识别每一个究竟是“热的、暖的、还是冷的”。然后她要求客户通过探索以下的问题来挑战这些扭曲的认知：“有什么证据证明这种想法是正确的？是否有其他的解释？最坏的结果是什么？这个扭曲是否莫名其妙变得越来越重要？我是否过于担心这件事了？”
Take the first smallest step possible. We can quickly feel helpless and powerless when taking action feels overwhelming. This is why it’s vital to break it down, and as Appio said, “way down.” Make it so small, simple, and doable that it’s easy to take action.
第一步要尽可能的小。在采取行动感觉压力山大时，我们会很快感到无助、无力。所以把步伐拆分开是至关重要的，正如Appio说的那样，“拆分到非常非常小”。把它变得如此小巧、简单与可行，以至于采取行动是非常简单的。
For instance, Appio’s clients often need to feel empowered when speaking up for themselves (and their needs) with others. A small, simple, and totally doable step would be to notice you have a preference or need, and then name it for yourself, she said. Another small, simple, and totally doable step would be “expressing your preferences in lower-risk contexts, like offering your opinion about a movie you saw recently or where you’d to go for dinner.”
例如，Appio的客户常常需要感到被鼓舞，才能在向他人为自己发声（或表达他的需要）。一个小巧、简单且完全可行的步骤是注意到你有一个偏好或需要，并且向自己说出这个偏好或需要，她说。另一个小巧、简单且完全可行的步骤是“在一个低风险的情境下表达你的偏好，比如提出自己关于一个近期看过的电影的观点，或者说出你想去哪里吃晚饭。”
Consider this question. When we feel powerless, we often criticize and shame ourselves for past mistakes or bad decisions. Instead, try to refocus on solutions. Monson suggested contemplating this question: What will I do differently next time? Channel any regret or anger you’re holding onto into exploring creative, effective solutions for that next time.
考虑这个问题。当我们感到无力的时候，我们经常为过去的错误、糟糕的决定而批判和羞辱自己。相反，我们要把注意力重新集中在解决方案上。Monson建议我们深思：下一次我会有什么不同的做法？把你的任何遗憾、愤怒转移到寻求创造性的、有效的解决方案上去。
Spotlight your why. Consider the deeper why of what you’re doing. That is, if you need to make a specific change, pinpoint the reason you’re taking action. Appio suggested considering: Why am I making this change? Why now? What will happen if I don’t make it? Then “stay connected to what makes the time and effort worth it for you.”
聚焦于你的原因。思考你做事的深层次的原因，也就是说，如果你需要做出特定的改变，你要精确地找到采取行动的原因。Appio建议思考：我为什么要做出这个改变？为什么是现在？如果我不做出改变会发生什么？然后“不要忘记是什么使你投入的时间和努力有价值。”
When you’re feeling powerless and helpless, and thinking similar thoughts, remember that this isn’t the truth. Remember that this is your fear talking (or years of ridiculous statements you’ve heard). Remember that you can take action—no matter how small a step might seem. Everything counts.
当你感到无力、无助，或有类似想法的时候，记住这些想法、感觉不是真实的。要记住这是你自己的恐惧在说话（或者是多年来你听到的荒谬的言论）。要记住你可以采取行动——无论这个行动看起来多么得小，任何行动都是有重要意义的。
Remember that you can always reach out for help—whether that’s a loved one, a support group, or a therapist. This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you smart.
记住你永远可以寻求别人的帮助——不论是你爱的人，一个支持小组，还是治疗师。寻求帮助并不意味着你是弱小的，寻求帮助意味着你是明智的。
Remember that the way to effectively navigate difficult situations is simply to practice and grow your skills. And you can absolutely do that. You’ve likely done it before.
记住有效应对困难处境的方法仅仅是练习和增进你的技能，并且你绝对可以做得到，你很可能之前已经做到了。
Last medically reviewed on September 14, 2019
本文于2019年9月14日进行了最后一次医学审查。
原文地址：https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-empower-yourself-when-you-feel-powerless-and-helpless#1
