【书籍连载】登天之梯：一个儿童心理咨询师的诊疗笔记 中英逐句对照 第五章 part 1
CHAPTER 5
第 5 章
The Coldest Heart
最冷的心
ENTERING A MAXIMUM-SECURITY prison is always daunting: after the extensive identity check at the gate, you have to hand over your keys, wallet, phone, and anything else that could possibly be stolen or used as a weapon. Everything that identifies you, except your clothing, is confiscated. One of the first locked doors you pass through is marked by a sign saying, in effect, that if you are taken hostage past this point, you’re on your own. The policy is ostensibly to prevent visitors from pretending to be held captive by prisoners and enabling their escape, but it also immediately instills an unsettling feeling. There are at least three or four double sets of thick metal doors, with many layers of human and electronic security between them, which slam solidly behind you before you can meet with the kind of prisoner I had been brought in to examine. Leon, at age sixteen, had sadistically murdered two teenage girls, and then raped their dead bodies.
进入最高安全级别的监狱总是让人望而生畏：在门口进行全面的身份检查后，您必须交出钥匙、钱包、手机以及任何可能被盗或用作武器的其他物品。除了你的衣服，所有能识别你身份的东西都会被没收。你穿过的第一扇锁着的门之一有一个标志，实际上，如果你在这之后被劫持为人质，你就只能靠你自己了。该政策表面上是为了防止游客假装被囚犯俘虏并使其逃脱，但它也立即灌输了一种不安的感觉。至少有三四对厚重的金属门，门之间有多层人类和电子安全装置，在你见到我被带进来检查的那种囚犯之前，它们在你身后砰地一声关上了。
Virginia and Laura demonstrated one way that neglect in early childhood can disrupt the development of the areas in the brain that control empathy and the ability to engage in healthy relationships—a loss that often leaves people awkward, lonely, and socially inept. Emotional deprivation in the first years of life, however, can also predispose people to malice or misanthropy. In the mother’s and the daughter’s cases, fortunately, despite their underdeveloped capacity for empathy, both became highly moral people; their early childhood experiences had left them emotionally crippled and often oblivious to social cues, but not filled with rage and hatred. Leon’s story illustrates a much more dangerous—and fortunately, less common—potential outcome. Leon would teach me more about how much damage parental neglect—even unintentional neglect—can inflict, and how modern Western culture can erode the extended family networks that have traditionally protected many children from it.
弗吉尼亚和劳拉展示了一种方式，即童年早期的忽视会破坏大脑中控制同理心和建立健康人际关系能力的区域的发育——这种缺失往往会让人们感到尴尬、孤独和社交无能。然而，生命最初几年的情感剥夺也可能使人们倾向于恶意或厌恶人类。幸运的是，在母亲和女儿的案例中，尽管她们的同理心能力不发达，但她们都成为了道德高尚的人；他们的童年经历使他们情绪低落，常常对社交暗示视而不见，但并没有充满愤怒和仇恨。Leon 的故事说明了一个更危险——幸运的是，不太常见——的潜在结果。莱昂会教我更多关于父母忽视——即使是无意的忽视——会造成多大的伤害，
Leon had been convicted of a capital offense and faced the death penalty. His defense had hired me to testify during the sentencing phase of his trial. This hearing determines whether there are “mitigating” factors, such as a history of mental health problems or abuse, that should be weighed when sentencing decisions are made. My testimony would help the court decide between life without parole and the ultimate punishment.
莱昂被判死刑，将面临死刑。他的辩护律师聘请我在审判的量刑阶段作证。该听证会确定是否存在“减轻”因素，例如精神健康问题或虐待史，在做出量刑决定时应权衡这些因素。我的证词将帮助法庭在不得假释的终身监禁和最终惩罚之间作出决定。
I VISITED THE PRISON ON A PERFECT Spring day, the kind of clear day that makes most people happy to be alive. The cheery sound of chirping birds and the warmth of the sun seemed almost inappropriate as I stood in front of the massive gray building. It was five stories tall and made of cement block. It had too-few barred windows and a tiny green one-room guardhouse with a red door attached to one wall, which looked incongruously small compared to the imposing bulk of the prison. The grounds were surrounded by a twenty-foot wire fence with three coils of barbwire at the top. I was the only person outside. A few old cars were parked in the lot.
我在一个完美的春日参观了监狱，那种晴朗的日子让大多数人都乐于活着。当我站在巨大的灰色建筑前时，欢快的鸟叫声和温暖的阳光似乎几乎不相称。它有五层楼高，由水泥块砌成。它的铁栏杆窗户太少了，还有一个很小的绿色单间警卫室，一面墙上有一扇红色的门，与监狱宏伟的建筑相比，它显得小得不协调。场地周围环绕着二十英尺高的铁丝网，顶部有三圈带刺铁丝网。我是外面唯一的人。停车场里停着几辆旧车。
I approached the red door, my heart beating fast, my palms sweating. I had to tell myself to calm down. The whole place seemed fenced by tension. I walked in through a double door, passed through a metal detector, was summarily frisked and then taken into the compound by a guard who seemed as caged and resentful as a prisoner.
我走近那扇红色的门，心跳加速，手心冒汗。我不得不告诉自己要冷静。整个地方似乎都笼罩在紧张之中。我走进一扇双门，通过一个金属探测器，被立即搜身，然后被一个看起来像囚犯一样被关在笼子里、充满怨恨的守卫带进了大院。
“You a psychologist?” she asked, looking me over disapprovingly.
“你是心理学家？” 她问，不以为然地打量着我。
“No. I’m a psychiatrist.”
“不。我是一名心理医生。”
“OK, whatever. You could spend a lifetime here.” She laughed disdainfully. I forced a smile. “Here’s the rules. You must read this.” She handed me a one-page document and continued, “No contraband. No weapons. You may not bring gifts or take anything out of the prison.” Her tone and attitude told me she had no use for me. Maybe she was angry that she had to spend this perfect day in prison. Maybe she was resentful because she thought that mental health professionals working with the justice system mainly help criminals escape responsibility for their actions.
“好吧，随你便。你可以在这里度过一生。” 她不屑一笑。我勉强笑了笑。“这里是规则。你必须读这个。” 她递给我一份单页文件，继续说：“没有违禁品。无武器。你不能带礼物或带任何东西离开监狱。” 她的语气和态度告诉我她对我毫无用处。也许她很生气，因为她不得不在监狱里度过这完美的一天。也许她很生气，因为她认为与司法系统合作的精神卫生专业人员主要是帮助罪犯逃避对他们行为的责任。
“OK,” I said, trying to be respectful. But I could tell she had already made up her mind about me. It’s no wonder that she was hostile, though. Our brains adapt to our environments, and this place wasn’t likely to elicit kindness or trust.
“好吧，”我说，试图表现出尊重。但我可以看出她已经对我下定决心了。不过，难怪她有敌意。我们的大脑适应我们的环境，这个地方不太可能引起善意或信任。
THE INTERVIEW ROOM WAS SMALL with a single metal table and two chairs. The floor was a tiled institutional gray with green speckles and the walls were painted cinderblock. Leon was brought in by two male guards. He looked small and childlike as he faced me, wearing an orange jumpsuit, his arms and legs shackled and chained to each other. He was thin and short for his age. He didn’t look lethal. Sure, his stance was aggressive, and I could see that he already had jailhouse tattoos, his forearm branded with a crooked “X.” But the toughness came across as phony and artificial, like an undersized tomcat with his hair on end, trying to appear larger than he actually was. It was almost impossible to believe that this now eighteen-year-old boy/man had brutally murdered two people.
面试室很小，只有一张金属桌子和两把椅子。地板是灰色的瓷砖，上面有绿色斑点，墙壁是粉刷的煤渣砖。莱昂被两名男警卫带进来。当他面对我时，他看起来又小又孩子气，穿着橙色的连身裤，他的胳膊和腿被铐在一起。就他的年龄而言，他又瘦又矮。他看起来并不致命。当然，他的姿势很有侵略性，而且我看得出来他身上已经有监狱纹身，他的前臂上刻着一个歪歪扭扭的“X”。但这种强硬给人的印象是虚伪和做作的，就像一只体型过小的公猫，头发竖起来，试图让自己看起来比实际大一些。几乎无法相信这个现在十八岁的男孩/男人残忍地杀害了两个人。
He’d seen his two young victims in an elevator in the high-rise building where he lived. Although it was only three or four in the afternoon, he’d already been drinking beer. He had crudely propositioned the teenagers. When the girls—not surprisingly—rejected him, he’d followed them into an apartment and, apparently after a physical confrontation, stabbed both of them to death with a table knife. Cherise was twelve and her friend Lucy was thirteen. Both were barely pubescent. The attack had happened so fast and Leon was so much larger than his victims that neither girl had been able to defend herself. He’d managed to quickly restrain Cherise with a belt. After that, while Lucy tried to fight him off, he killed her and then, either to avoid leaving a witness, or still in a rage, slaughtered the bound girl as well. He then raped both bodies. His anger still not sated, he’d kicked and stomped them.
他在他居住的高层建筑的电梯里看到了他的两个年轻受害者。虽然才下午三四点，但他已经开始喝啤酒了。他粗鲁地向青少年提出了建议。当女孩们——毫不奇怪——拒绝他时，他跟着她们进了一间公寓，显然是在肢体冲突之后，他用餐刀将她们两人刺死。Cherise 十二岁，她的朋友 Lucy 十三岁。两人都还没有青春期。袭击发生得如此之快，莱昂比他的受害者大得多，以至于两个女孩都无法自卫。他设法迅速用皮带束缚了 Cherise。在那之后，当露西试图击退他时，他杀了她，然后，为了避免留下目击者，或者仍然盛怒，连同被绑的女孩一起杀了。然后他强奸了两具尸体。
Though he had often been in trouble with the law, Leon’s records didn’t indicate that he was capable of anything like this level of violence. His parents were hard-working, married legal immigrants, solid citizens without criminal histories. His family had never been involved with child protective services; there was no history of abuse, nor foster care placements, nor any other obvious red flags for attachment problems. Yet all of his records suggested that he was a master at manipulating people around him and, more ominously, that he was completely devoid of emotional connection to others. He was often described as having little to no empathy: remorseless, callous, indifferent to most of the “consequences” set up in school or in juvenile justice programs.
尽管他经常触犯法律，但莱昂的记录并未表明他有能力做出这种程度的暴力行为。他的父母是勤劳的已婚合法移民，是没有犯罪记录的可靠公民。他的家人从未参与过儿童保护服务；没有虐待史，也没有寄养安置，也没有任何其他明显的依恋问题危险信号。然而，他的所有记录都表明他是操纵周围人的大师，更糟糕的是，他与他人完全没有情感联系。他经常被描述为几乎没有同情心：冷酷无情，冷酷无情，对学校或少年司法项目中设置的大多数“后果”漠不关心。
Seeing him now, looking so small in his shackles in this terrible prison, I almost felt sorry for him. But then we began to talk.
现在看到他，在这个可怕的监狱里戴着枷锁显得那么渺小，我几乎为他感到难过。但后来我们开始交谈。
“You the doctor?” he asked, looking me over, clearly disappointed.
“你是医生？” 他问，看着我，显然很失望。
“Yep.”
“是的。”
“I told her I wanted a lady shrink,” he sneered. He pushed his chair away from the table and kicked it. I asked him whether he’d discussed my visit with his lawyer and understood its purpose.
“我告诉她我想要一位女士心理医生，”他冷笑道。他把椅子从桌子旁推开，踢了踢它。我问他是否与他的律师讨论过我的访问并了解其目的。
He nodded, trying to act tough and indifferent, but I knew he had to be scared. He probably would never admit it or even understand it, but inside he was always on guard, always vigilant and always studying the people around him. Trying to work out who could help him and who could hurt him. What is this person’s weak point, what does he want, what does he fear?
他点点头，试图表现得强硬和冷漠，但我知道他一定是害怕了。他可能永远不会承认，甚至不会理解，但他的内心时刻提防着，时刻警惕着，时刻审视着身边的人。试图找出谁可以帮助他，谁可以伤害他。这个人的弱点是什么，他想要什么，他害怕什么？
From the moment I came in I could see that he was studying me, too. Probing for weakness, seeking ways to manipulate me. He was smart enough to know the stereotype of the liberal, bleeding-heart shrink. He had successfully read his lead attorney. She felt sorry for him now; he had convinced her he was the one who’d been wronged. Those girls had invited him into the apartment. They promised to have sex with him. Things got rough and it was an accident. He tripped over their bodies; that’s how he got blood on his boots. He never intended to hurt them. And now he set out to persuade me, too, that he was a misunderstood victim of two teen vixens who had teased and tempted him.
从我进来的那一刻起，我就可以看出他也在研究我。探索弱点，寻找操纵我的方法。他很聪明，知道自由主义、心痛的精神病患者的刻板印象。他已经成功地阅读了他的首席律师。她现在为他感到难过。他让她相信他是被冤枉的人。那些女孩邀请他进了公寓。他们答应与他发生性关系。事情变得艰难，这是一个意外。他绊倒了他们的身体；他的靴子就是这样沾上鲜血的。他从没想过要伤害他们。现在他也开始说服我，他是两个戏弄和引诱他的青少年泼妇的误解受害者。
“Tell me about yourself.” I started with open questions, trying to see where he would go.
“说说你自己。” 我从开放性问题开始，试图看看他会去哪里。
“What do you mean? Is that some kind of shrink trick?” he asked, suspicious.
“你是什么意思？那是某种缩小技巧吗？他疑惑地问道。
“No. I just figured you are the best person to tell me about you. I’ve read a whole lot of other people’s opinions. Teachers, therapists, probation officers, the press. They all have opinions. So I want to know yours.”
“不。我只是觉得你是向我介绍你的最佳人选。我读了很多其他人的意见。教师、治疗师、缓刑官、新闻界。他们都有意见。所以我想知道你的。”
“What do you want to know?”
“你想知道什么？”
“What do you want to tell me?” The dance continued. We circled around each other. It was a game I knew well. He was pretty good. But I was used to this.
“你想告诉我什么？” 舞蹈继续。我们围着对方转了一圈。这是一个我很熟悉的游戏。他很好。但我已经习惯了。
“Well. Let’s start with right now. What it is like living in prison?”
“出色地。让我们从现在开始。住在监狱里是什么感觉？”
“It’s boring. It’s not so bad. Not too much to do.”
“这很无聊。也不是那么坏。没有太多的事情要做。”
“Tell me your schedule.” And so it started. He slowly began to loosen up as he described the routines of the prison and his earlier experiences in the juvenile justice system. I let him talk and then after a few hours, we took a break so he could smoke a cigarette. When I came back, it was time to get to the point. “Tell me what happened with those girls.”
“告诉我你的日程安排。” 就这样开始了。当他描述监狱的日常事务和他早年在少年司法系统中的经历时，他慢慢开始放松。我让他说话，几个小时后，我们休息一下，让他抽根烟。回来的时候，是时候进入正题了。“告诉我那些女孩发生了什么事。”
“It was no big deal really. I was just hanging out and these two girls came by. We started talking and they invited me up to their apartment to fool around. Then when they got me up there, they changed their minds. It pissed me off.” This was different from his original statement and from other accounts he’d given. It seemed that the more time that passed since the crime, the less violent he made the story. Each time he told it, he was less and less responsible for what had happened; he, rather than the girls, increasingly became the victim.
“这真的没什么大不了的。我刚出去玩，这两个女孩就过来了。我们开始交谈，他们邀请我去他们的公寓闲逛。然后当他们把我带到那里时，他们改变了主意。这让我很生气。” 这与他最初的陈述和他提供的其他陈述不同。似乎犯罪发生后时间越长，他编造的故事就越不暴力。每次他说出来，他对所发生的事情的责任就越来越少；他，而不是女孩，越来越成为受害者。
“It was an accident. I just wanted to scare them. Stupid bitches wouldn’t shut up,” he went on. My stomach churned. Don’t react. Be still. If he senses how horrified and disgusted you feel, he won’t be honest. He will edit. Stay calm. I nodded.
“这是一次意外。我只是想吓唬他们。愚蠢的母狗不会闭嘴，”他继续说道。我的胃在翻腾。不要反应。不要动。如果他感觉到你感到多么恐惧和厌恶，他就不会诚实。他会编辑。保持冷静。我点了头。
“They were loud?” I asked as neutrally as I could manage.
“他们很大声？” 我尽可能中立地问。
“Yes. I told them I wouldn’t hurt them if they would just shut up.” He was giving me a short, sanitized version of the murders. He left out the rape. He left out how he’d brutally kicked the girls.
“是的。我告诉他们，只要他们闭嘴，我就不会伤害他们。” 他给了我一个简短的、净化版的谋杀案。他遗漏了强奸案。他遗漏了他是如何残忍地踢女孩的。
I asked whether their screams had enraged him, if that was why he’d kicked the bodies. The autopsy report showed that the thirteen-year-old had been kicked in the face and stomped on the neck and chest.
我问他们的尖叫声是否激怒了他，这是否就是他踢尸体的原因。尸检报告显示，这名 13 岁的少年面部被踢，颈部和胸部被踩踏。
“Well, I didn’t really kick them. I just tripped. I had been drinking some. So, you know,” he said, hoping I would fill in the blanks. He looked up to see if I had bought his lies. There was little emotion on his face or in his voice. He described the murders as if he were giving a geography report in school. The only trace of emotion was the disdain he expressed that his victims had “made him” kill them, furious with them for fighting back, for resisting.
“好吧，我真的没有踢他们。我刚刚绊倒了。我一直在喝一些。所以，你知道的，”他说，希望我能填补空白。他抬头看看我是否相信他的谎言。他的脸上或声音中几乎没有情绪。他描述谋杀案时就像在学校做地理报告一样。唯一的情绪痕迹是他对受害者“让他”杀死他们表示的蔑视，对他们的反击和反抗感到愤怒。
His coldness was breathtaking. This was a predator, someone whose only concern for other people was what he could get from them, what he could make them do, and how they could serve his selfish ends. He could not even put on a compassionate performance for a shrink hired by his defense, someone looking for the smallest glimmer of goodness or promise in him.
他的冷漠令人窒息。这是一个掠夺者，他对其他人唯一关心的是他能从他们那里得到什么，他能让他们做什么，以及他们如何为他的自私目的服务。他甚至无法为他的辩护律师雇用的心理医生表现出富有同情心的表现，有人在他身上寻找最细微的善良或希望。
It wasn’t that he didn’t know that he should try to appear remorseful. He simply wasn’t capable of taking into account the feelings of others in any way other than to take advantage of them. He could not feel compassion for others, so he couldn’t fake it very well, either. Leon was not unintelligent. In fact, his IQ was significantly above average in some ways. However, it was uneven. While his verbal IQ was in the low to normal range, his performance score, which measures things like the ability to properly sequence a series of pictures and manipulate objects in space, was quite high. He scored especially well in his ability to read social situations and understand other people’s intentions.
他并不是不知道自己应该表现出悔恨的样子。除了利用他人的优势，他根本无法以任何方式考虑他人的感受。他无法对他人产生同情心，所以他也无法假装得很好。莱昂并非不聪明。事实上，他的智商在某些方面明显高于平均水平。然而，这是不平衡的。虽然他的语言智商处于低至正常范围内，但他的表现得分却相当高，表现得分衡量的是正确排列一系列图片和操纵空间物体的能力。他在阅读社会情况和理解他人意图的能力方面得分特别高。
This split between verbal and performance scores is often seen in abused or traumatized children and can indicate that the developmental needs of certain brain regions, particularly those cortical areas involved in modulating the lower, more reactive regions have been not been met. In the general population about 5 percent of people show this pattern, but in prisons and juvenile treatment centers that proportion rises to over 35 percent. It reflects the use-dependent development of the brain: with more developmental chaos and threat the brain’s stress response systems and those areas of the brain responsible for reading threat-related social cues will grow, while less affection and nurturing will result in underdevelopment of the systems that code for compassion and self-control. These test results were the first clues that something had probably gone wrong in his early childhood.
这种语言和表现分数之间的差异经常出现在受虐待或受创伤的儿童身上，这可能表明某些大脑区域的发育需求，特别是那些参与调节较低、反应性更强的区域的皮质区域没有得到满足。在一般人群中，大约 5% 的人表现出这种模式，但在监狱和少年治疗中心，这一比例上升到 35% 以上。它反映了大脑依赖于使用的发展：随着更多的发展混乱和威胁，大脑的压力反应系统和负责阅读与威胁相关的社交线索的大脑区域将会增长，而更少的情感和养育将导致大脑的不发达为同情心和自我控制编码的系统。
I tried to figure out what might have happened from our interview, but didn’t get very far. Most people don’t remember much from the developmentally critical years of birth through kindergarten, anyway. There was evidence indicating he had been troubled from very early on, however. His records showed reports of aggressive behavior dating back to his preschool years. From our conversation I could also tell that he’d had few friends or lasting relationships with anyone outside his family. His charts showed a history of bullying and of petty crimes like shoplifting and other thefts, but he had never been to an adult prison before now. His run-ins with the law as an adolescent had mainly resulted in probation; he hadn’t even spent much time in juvenile detention, despite having committed some serious assaults.
我试图从我们的采访中弄清楚可能发生了什么，但没有走得太远。无论如何，大多数人对从出生到幼儿园的发育关键期记忆不多。然而，有证据表明他从很早的时候就受到了困扰。他的记录显示，有关攻击性行为的报告可以追溯到他学龄前时期。从我们的谈话中，我还可以看出他几乎没有朋友，也没有与家人以外的任何人建立持久的关系。他的病历显示有欺凌史和入店行窃和其他盗窃等轻微犯罪的历史，但他之前从未去过成人监狱。他在青少年时期触犯法律主要导致缓刑。尽管他犯下了一些严重的攻击行为，但他甚至没有在少年拘留所度过太多时间。
I did discover, however, that he’d committed, or been suspected of committing, several major offenses for which he had not been charged or convicted because there was not enough evidence to make the charges stick. For example, he’d once been found in possession of a stolen bicycle. The bike’s teenage owner had been beaten so severely that he’d wound up in the hospital with life-threatening injuries. But there were no witnesses to the assault—or none that would come forward—so Leon was only charged with possession of stolen property. Over the course of several evaluation visits he eventually bragged about previous sexual assaults to me, with the same cold disdain with which he’d discussed the murders.
然而，我确实发现他犯下了或被怀疑犯下了几项重大罪行，但由于没有足够的证据使指控成立，他没有被指控或定罪。例如，他曾经被发现拥有一辆偷来的自行车。这辆自行车的少年主人被殴打得很厉害，以致他在医院里受了生命危险。但是没有人目击袭击——或者没有人愿意挺身而出——所以莱昂只被指控持有被盗财产。在几次评估访问的过程中，他最终向我吹嘘以前的性侵犯，与他讨论谋杀案时一样冷漠。
Looking for any sign of remorse, I finally asked what should have been an easy question.
寻找任何悔恨的迹象，我终于问了一个应该很简单的问题。
“Now that you look back on all this, what would you have done differently?” I said, expecting him to at least mouth some platitudes about controlling his anger, about not harming people.
“现在你回顾这一切，你会做些什么不同的事情？” 我说，希望他至少能说出一些关于控制愤怒、不伤害他人的陈词滥调。
He seemed to think for a minute, then responded, “I don’t know. Maybe throw away those boots?”
他似乎想了想，然后回答说：“我不知道。也许扔掉那些靴子？”
“Throw away the boots?”
“把靴子扔掉？”
“Yeah. It was the boot prints and the blood on the boots that got me.”
“是的。是靴子的印记和靴子上的血让我着迷。”
MANY PSYCHIATRISTS WOULD HAVE left the prison believing that Leon was the archetypal “bad seed,” a genetic freak of nature, a demonic child incapable of empathy. And there are genetic predispositions that appear to affect the brain’s systems involved in empathy. My research, however, has led me to believe that behavior as extreme as Leon’s is rare among people who have not suffered certain forms of early emotional and/or physical deprivation.
许多精神病学家离开监狱时会相信莱昂是典型的“坏种子”，是自然界的遗传怪胎，是一个没有同情心的恶魔般的孩子。还有一些遗传倾向似乎会影响与同理心有关的大脑系统。然而，我的研究让我相信，在没有遭受过某种形式的早期情感和/或身体剥夺的人中，像莱昂这样极端的行为是罕见的。
Furthermore, if Leon had the genetic makeup that increased the risk of sociopathic behavior—if such genes even exist—his family history should have revealed other relatives, such as a parent, a grandparent, maybe an uncle, with similar, even if less extreme, problems. Perhaps a history of multiple arrests, for example. But there was none. Also, Leon had been turned in to the police by his own brother, a brother who seemed to be everything that Leon was not.
此外，如果莱昂的基因构成会增加反社会行为的风险——如果这种基因存在的话——他的家族史应该会显示其他亲属，如父母、祖父母，也许是叔叔，也有类似的，即使不那么极端， 问题。例如，也许有多次被捕的历史。但是没有。此外，Leon 被他自己的兄弟告发给了警察，这个兄弟似乎是 Leon 所不具备的一切。
Frank,* Leon’s brother, like his parents and other relatives, was gainfully employed. He was a successful plumber, married, a dutiful father of two who was respected in the community. The day of the crime, he’d come home to find Leon, still wearing his blood-encrusted boots, watching TV in his living room. On the news was an urgent bulletin about the recent discovery of the violated bodies of two young girls in Leon’s building. Sneaking occasional glances at the boots, Frank waited until Leon left, then called the police to report his suspicions about his brother’s connection to the crime.
弗兰克*莱昂的兄弟和他的父母及其他亲戚一样，有一份有报酬的工作。他是一位成功的水管工，已婚，是两个孩子的尽职父亲，在社区中受到尊重。案发当天，他回到家，发现莱昂仍然穿着沾满鲜血的靴子，在客厅里看电视。新闻是关于最近在莱昂大楼内发现两名年轻女孩被侵犯的尸体的紧急公告。弗兰克偶尔偷偷看一眼靴子，一直等到里昂离开，然后打电话给警察报告他怀疑他哥哥与犯罪有关。
Siblings share at least 50 percent of their genes. While Frank could have been genetically blessed with a far greater capacity for empathy than Leon, it was unlikely that this alone accounted for their very different temperaments and life paths. Yet as far as I knew, Leon and Frank had shared the same home and parents, so Leon’s environment didn’t appear to be a likely culprit either. I would only discover what I now believe to be at the root of Leon’s problems after I met with Frank and his parents, Maria* and Alan.* In our first meeting they were all in obvious distress over the situation.
兄弟姐妹至少有 50% 的基因是相同的。虽然弗兰克在基因上可能比莱昂拥有更强大的同理心，但不可能仅凭这一点就可以解释他们截然不同的性情和人生道路。但据我所知，Leon 和 Frank 有同一个家和父母，所以 Leon 的环境似乎也不是罪魁祸首。在我与弗兰克和他的父母玛丽亚*和艾伦*会面后，我才发现我现在认为是莱昂问题的根源。在我们的第一次会面中，他们都对这种情况感到明显的痛苦。
MARIA WAS SMALL AND CONSERVATIVELY dressed, wearing a cardigan buttoned all the way up. She sat erect, knees together, with both hands on the handbag in her lap. Alan wore dark green work clothes; his name was sewn into a white oval over his pocket. Frank was wearing a button-down, collared blue shirt and khaki pants. Maria looked sad and fragile, Alan seemed ashamed, and Frank seemed angry. I greeted each of them with a handshake and tried to establish eye contact.
玛丽亚身材娇小，衣着保守，穿着一件纽扣一直扣在上面的开衫。她坐直身体，双膝并拢，双手放在膝上的手提包上。艾伦穿着深绿色的工作服；他的名字被缝在他口袋上的一个白色椭圆形里。弗兰克穿着一件纽扣领蓝色衬衫和卡其色裤子。玛丽亚看起来悲伤而脆弱，艾伦似乎很羞愧，而弗兰克似乎很生气。我与他们每个人握手打招呼，并试图建立眼神交流。
“I’m sorry we have to meet under these circumstances,” I said, carefully watching them. I wanted to see how they related to others, whether they showed an ability to empathize, whether there were any hints of pathological or odd behavior that might not have shown up in Leon’s medical records and family history. But they responded appropriately. They were distressed, guilty, concerned, everything you would expect from family members who’d discovered that one of their own had committed an unspeakable crime.
“很抱歉我们不得不在这种情况下见面，”我说，仔细地看着他们。我想看看他们与他人的关系如何，他们是否表现出同理心，是否有任何病态或奇怪行为的迹象，这些迹象可能不会出现在莱昂的病历和家族史中。但他们的反应恰到好处。他们感到痛苦、内疚、担心，当发现自己的一个人犯下了无法形容的罪行时，你会从家庭成员那里得到的一切。
“As you know, your son’s attorney has asked me to evaluate him for the sentencing phase of the trial. I’ve met with Leon now twice. I wanted to spend some time with you to get a better understanding of how he was when he was younger.” The parents listened, but neither would look me in the eye. Frank stared at me, however, defensive and protective of his parents. “We are all trying to understand why he did this,” I concluded. The parents looked at me and nodded; the father’s eyes filled with tears. Their grief filled the room; Frank finally looked away from me, blinking back tears of his own.
“如你所知，你儿子的律师要求我在审判的量刑阶段对他进行评估。我现在已经和莱昂见过两次面了。我想多陪陪你，了解一下他年轻时的样子。” 父母听了，但都没有看我的眼睛。然而，弗兰克盯着我，为他的父母辩护和保护。“我们都在试图理解他为什么这样做，”我总结道。父母看着我点点头；父亲的眼里充满了泪水。他们的悲伤充满了房间；弗兰克终于把目光从我身上移开，眨着眼睛忍住自己的眼泪。
I could see that these parents had spent hours wracked with sadness, confusion, and guilt as they searched for the “why.” Why had our son done this? Why had he turned out this way? What did we do wrong? Are we bad parents? Was he born bad? They spoke with total bewilderment about Leon, telling me that they’d done their best, worked hard, given him what they could. They’d taken him to church, they told me, they’d done everything the teachers and schools and counselors had asked. I heard their recriminations: Maybe we should have been stricter. Maybe we should have been less strict. Maybe I should have sent him to live with my mother when he first got in trouble. They struggled to get through every day, tired from their grief, from sleepless nights, and from pretending that they didn’t see the stares and disapproving looks from their neighbors and coworkers.
我可以看出，这些父母在寻找“原因”时，已经被悲伤、困惑和内疚折磨了好几个小时。为什么我们的儿子要这样做？他怎么会变成这个样子？我们做错了什么？我们是坏父母吗？他生来就不好吗？他们对莱昂充满了困惑，告诉我他们已经尽力而为，努力工作，给了他力所能及的一切。他们带他去教堂，他们告诉我，他们做了老师、学校和辅导员要求的一切。我听到了他们的指责：也许我们应该更严格一些。也许我们应该不那么严格。也许我应该在他第一次遇到麻烦时把他送去和我母亲住在一起。他们每天都在努力度过，因悲伤而疲倦，因不眠之夜而疲惫不堪，
“Let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about how you two met,” I said. Alan spoke first, beginning to smile slightly as he thought of his own childhood and his courtship. Alan and Maria had met as young children. They both lived in large extended families in the same small, rural community. They attended the same school, prayed in the same church, and lived in the same neighborhood. They were economically poor, but wealthy in family. They grew up surrounded by cousins, aunties, uncles, and grandparents. Everyone knew everyone else’s business, but that meant everyone cared, too. In Alan and Maria’s hometown children were never far from the watchful eyes of one relative or another.
“让我们从头开始。告诉我你们两个是怎么认识的，”我说。艾伦先开口，想起自己的童年和求爱经历，他开始微微微笑。艾伦和玛丽亚小时候就认识了。他们都住在同一个农村小社区的大家庭中。他们上同一所学校，在同一个教堂祈祷，住在同一个街区。他们经济贫穷，但家庭富裕。他们在表亲、阿姨、叔叔和祖父母的包围下长大。每个人都知道其他人的事，但这意味着每个人也都关心。在艾伦和玛丽亚的家乡，孩子们从不远离一个或另一个亲戚的注视目光。
Maria dropped out of high school at fifteen, becoming a maid at a local hotel. Alan stayed on until graduation, then started work at a nearby factory. They got married when he was twenty and she was eighteen. He did well at the factory and made a good living. Soon Maria got pregnant.
玛丽亚十五岁从高中辍学，成为当地一家旅馆的女佣。艾伦一直待到毕业，然后开始在附近的一家工厂工作。他二十岁，她十八岁时，他们结婚了。他在工厂里干得不错，过着不错的生活。不久，玛丽亚怀孕了。
This pregnancy was a joyous event for both extended families. Maria was pampered, and she was able to quit work to stay home with their child. The young family lived in the basement apartment of a building owned by an uncle. Her parents lived next door; his family, one block over. As they discussed this time in their lives, they smiled at each other. Alan did most of the talking, while Maria nodded her agreement. Frank listened intently as if he had never heard about his parents’ early life. At moments the family almost seemed to forget what had brought them here.
这次怀孕对两个大家庭来说都是一件喜事。玛丽亚被宠坏了，她可以辞掉工作留在家里带孩子。这个年轻的家庭住在一个叔叔拥有的建筑物的地下室公寓里。她的父母住在隔壁；他的家人，一个街区。当他们讨论生命中的这段时间时，他们相视一笑。艾伦做了大部分谈话，而玛丽亚点头表示同意。弗兰克专注地听着，好像他从未听说过他父母的早年生活。有那么一刻，这家人似乎忘记了是什么把他们带到这里来的。
As Alan dominated the conversation, I would occasionally try to direct a question to Maria, but most of the time she would just smile at me politely and then look to her husband who would then answer instead. In time it became clear that Maria, though kindhearted and polite, was mentally impaired. She didn’t seem to understand many of my questions. Finally, I asked her, “Did you like school?” Alan looked at me and said quietly, “She is not good at those things. She is maybe a little slow in that way.” She looked at me sheepishly and I nodded and smiled back. Both her husband and her son were clearly protective of her.
由于 Alan 主导了谈话，我偶尔会尝试直接向 Maria 提问，但大多数时候她只是礼貌地对我微笑，然后看向她的丈夫，而她的丈夫随后会回答。随着时间的推移，人们发现玛丽亚虽然心地善良、彬彬有礼，但却患有精神疾病。她似乎不明白我的许多问题。最后，我问她：“你喜欢上学吗？” 艾伦看着我，平静地说：“她不擅长那些事情。她在这方面可能有点慢。” 她不好意思地看着我，我点点头，回以微笑。她的丈夫和儿子显然都在保护她。
Alan went on, describing the birth of their first son, Frank. After Maria came home from the hospital, the grandmothers, aunties, and older cousins spent hours with the young mother and her new child. Both mother and baby were immersed in the attention and love of their extended families. When Maria felt overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for this dependent little being, there was always an aunt or a cousin or her own mother around to help. When his cries drove her crazy, she could always get a break by asking a family member to babysit. But then Alan lost his job. He looked diligently for new work, but the factory had closed and decent jobs for people without a college education became nearly impossible to find. After six months of unemployment he managed to get another factory job, but it was in a city, one hundred miles away. He felt he had no choice but to take it.
艾伦继续描述他们第一个儿子弗兰克的出生。玛丽亚从医院回家后，祖母、阿姨和表姐们花了几个小时陪伴这位年轻的母亲和她刚出生的孩子。妈妈和宝宝都沉浸在大家庭的关注和爱中。当玛丽亚对照顾这个依赖他人的小生命的责任感到不知所措时，总会有阿姨、表亲或她自己的母亲在身边帮忙。当他的哭声把她逼疯时，她总是可以通过请家人照看孩子来缓解一下。但后来艾伦丢了工作。他努力寻找新工作，但工厂已经关闭，没有大学学历的人几乎找不到体面的工作。失业六个月后，他设法找到了另一份工厂工作，但那是在一百英里外的一个城市。
The family, with now three-year-old Frank, relocated to an apartment complex in the city. The only place they could afford was in a devastated inner-city neighborhood plagued with high rates of violent crime and drug use. Few people worked and few had roots in the area. As is often the case in this country, extended families were scattered, not living close together as they had back home. Most of the households with children were headed by single mothers.
这家人和现在三岁的弗兰克一起搬到了城里的一个公寓大楼。他们唯一能负担得起的地方是一个满目疮痍的市中心社区，这里暴力犯罪率和吸毒率很高。很少有人工作，也很少有人在该地区扎根。就像这个国家的情况一样，大家庭分散在一起，不像在家乡那样住得很近。大多数有孩子的家庭都是单身母亲当家。
Soon Maria became pregnant with Leon. This pregnancy, however, was very different from her first one. Maria was now alone all day long in a small apartment with a toddler as her only companion. She was bewildered by her new life—and lonely. She didn’t know anyone and didn’t know how to reach out to her neighbors. Alan worked long hours, and when he came home he was exhausted. Maria’s three-year-old son became her best friend. They spent hours together. They would walk to a nearby park, take the bus to the free museums in the city, and participate in a mother’s drop-in program at a church. Maria developed a routine in which she would leave the apartment early in the morning and stay out all day, picking up groceries just before she returned home. The routine was comforting. She created a repetitive pattern of activity and the familiar faces she saw each day were some tiny connection to others, reminding her of the familiarity of the world she left behind. Still, she missed her family. She missed her neighborhood. She missed the group of experienced women who had helped her raise her first baby.
不久，玛丽亚怀上了莱昂。然而，这次怀孕与她的第一次怀孕大不相同。玛丽亚现在整天独自一人在一间小公寓里，只有一个蹒跚学步的孩子是她唯一的伙伴。她对自己的新生活感到困惑——而且很孤独。她不认识任何人，也不知道如何与邻居联系。艾伦工作了很长时间，回到家时他已经筋疲力尽了。玛丽亚三岁的儿子成了她最好的朋友。他们在一起度过了几个小时。他们会步行到附近的公园，乘公共汽车去城里的免费博物馆，并参加教堂的母亲临时探访计划。玛丽亚养成了一种习惯，她会在清晨离开公寓，整天待在外面，在回家前去买杂货。例行公事令人欣慰。她创造了一种重复的活动模式，她每天看到的熟悉的面孔与其他人有某种微小的联系，提醒她对她离开的世界的熟悉。尽管如此，她还是想念她的家人。她想念她的邻居。她想念帮助她抚养第一个孩子的那群有经验的妇女。
Then, Leon was born. Maria was now overwhelmed by the inevitable neediness of a newborn. She never had to raise a baby alone before. It became clear to me that the family had understood Maria’s limitations and, when needed, had stepped in to provide a loving, predictable, and safe environment for Frank. But when Leon was born this relational safety net was absent. I was starting to see why Leon and Frank had turned out so differently.
然后，莱昂出生了。玛丽亚现在被新生儿不可避免的需要所淹没。她以前从未需要独自抚养孩子。我很清楚，家人已经理解玛丽亚的局限性，并在需要时介入，为弗兰克提供一个充满爱意、可预测和安全的环境。但是当莱昂出生时，这种关系安全网并不存在。我开始明白为什么莱昂和弗兰克的结果如此不同。
“He was such a fussy baby. He cried,” Maria told me, describing Leon.
“他真是个挑剔的孩子。他哭了，”玛丽亚在描述莱昂时告诉我。
She smiled. I smiled back.
她笑了。我回以微笑。
“And how would you calm him down?”
“那你怎么让他平静下来？”
“I tried to feed him. Sometimes he would take the bottle and stop.”
“我试着喂他。有时他会拿起瓶子停下来。”
“Anything else?”
“还要别的吗？”
“Sometimes he would not stop. So we would go on our walk.”
“有时他不会停下来。所以我们会继续我们的步行。”
“We?”
“我们？”
“Me and Frank.”
“我和弗兰克。”
“Ah.”
“啊。”
“Did anyone ever come to help you take care of Leon?”
“有没有人来帮你照顾里昂？”
“No. We would wake up and feed him and then go for our walk.”
“不。我们会醒来喂他，然后出去散步。”
“Was this like the walks you took before Leon was born?”
“这就像你在里昂出生前散步的样子吗？”
“Yes. We go to the park. Play for a while. Take the bus to the church and have lunch. Then go to the children’s museum. Take the bus to the market to buy food for dinner. And then go home.”
“是的。我们去公园。玩一会儿。乘巴士前往教堂并享用午餐。然后去儿童博物馆。乘公共汽车去市场买晚餐的食物。然后回家。”
“So you were gone most of the day.”
“所以你一天大部分时间都不在。”
“Yes.”
“是的。”
Little by little it became clear that from the time Leon was four weeks old, the mother had resumed her “walks” with her oldest son, by then a four-year-old. She left baby Leon alone in a dark apartment. My heart sank as I listened to the mother—innocent, yet ignorant of the crucial needs of an infant—describe her systematic neglect of her youngest son. It was hard to be critical: she had given her four-year-old loving and attentive care. But at the same time she had deprived her newborn of the experiences necessary for him to form and maintain healthy relationships.
渐渐地，从莱昂 4 周大的时候开始，母亲就开始和她的大儿子一起“散步”了，那时他已经 4 岁了。她把小莱昂独自留在一间黑暗的公寓里。当我听到母亲——天真无邪，却不知道婴儿的关键需求——描述她对她最小的儿子的系统性忽视时，我的心沉了下去。很难批评：她给了她四岁的爱和细心的照顾。但与此同时，她剥夺了她的新生儿建立和维持健康关系所必需的经验。
“He stopped crying so much,” she said, indicating that she thought that her solution to the problem had worked.
“他不再那么哭了，”她说，表明她认为她解决问题的方法奏效了。
But as he grew older, both parents related, Leon never responded to their parenting the same way that Frank did. Whenever they reprimanded Frank, he felt bad that he had disappointed his parents and he corrected his behaviors. When Frank was told that he’d done well, he smiled and it was easy to see that he found pleasing his parents to be rewarding. The little boy was always hugging someone, running up to Mom or Dad and wrapping his little arms around them.
但随着年龄的增长，父母双方都有亲戚关系，莱昂从未像弗兰克那样回应他们的养育方式。每当他们训斥弗兰克时，他都觉得自己让父母失望了，因此改正了自己的行为。当弗兰克被告知他做得很好时，他笑了，很容易看出他发现取悦父母是一种回报。这个小男孩总是在拥抱某人，跑到妈妈或爸爸身边，用他的小胳膊搂住他们。
When Leon was scolded or punished, however, he showed no emotion. He didn’t seem to care that he’d let his parents down or hurt someone else emotionally or physically. He didn’t correct his behavior. When his parents or teachers were pleased with him and gave him positive attention, he seemed equally unaffected. He actively avoided being touched, or touching others.
然而，当莱昂被责骂或受到惩罚时，他没有表现出任何情绪。他似乎不在乎他会让他的父母失望或在情感上或身体上伤害别人。他没有改正自己的行为。当他的父母或老师对他感到满意并给予他积极的关注时，他似乎同样不受影响。他主动避免被触摸，或触摸他人。
Over time he learned to use flattery, flirtation, and other forms of manipulation to get what he wanted. If that did not work, he did what he wanted when he wanted anyway, and if he wasn’t given what he asked for, then he took it. If he got caught doing something wrong, he would lie, and if he got caught in a lie, he was indifferent to lectures and punishment. All he seemed to learn from punishment was how to improve his deception and better hide his bad behavior. Teachers, counselors, youth ministers, and coaches all said the same thing: Leon didn’t seem to care about anyone or anything but himself. The normal relational rewards and consequences—making your parents proud, making a friend happy, feeling upset if you hurt a loved one—did not matter to him.
随着时间的推移，他学会了用奉承、调情和其他形式的操纵来获得他想要的东西。如果那没有用，他无论如何都会在他想做的时候做他想做的，如果他没有得到他所要求的，那么他就会接受。如果他做错事被抓到，他就会说谎，如果他说谎被抓到，他对训斥和惩罚都无动于衷。他似乎从惩罚中学到的只是如何改进他的欺骗并更好地隐藏他的不良行为。老师、辅导员、青年部长和教练都说了同样的话：莱昂似乎只关心他自己。正常的关系奖励和后果——让你的父母感到骄傲，让朋友开心，如果你伤害了所爱的人会感到难过——对他来说并不重要。
So he started to get in trouble, first at preschool, then kindergarten, then elementary school. At first it was little things: stealing candy, minor bullying, poking classmates with pencils, talking back to teachers, ignoring the rules. But by third grade he had been referred for mental health services. By fifth grade he was a regular in the juvenile justice system, brought up on charges of truancy, theft, and vandalism. This callous and criminal behavior qualified him for the diagnosis of “conduct disorder” by age ten.
于是他开始惹麻烦，先是在学前班，然后是幼儿园，然后是小学。起初是一些小事：偷糖果、轻微欺凌、用铅笔戳同学、顶撞老师、不遵守规则。但到了三年级，他被转介接受心理健康服务。到五年级时，他已成为少年司法系统的常客，被指控逃学、盗窃和故意破坏公物。这种冷酷无情的犯罪行为使他在十岁时被诊断为“品行障碍”。
When Maria had taken Frank out for walks, Leon had wailed in his crib at first. But he’d soon learned that crying would bring no aid, so he stopped. He lay there, alone and uncared for, with no one to talk to him and no one to praise him for learning to turn over or crawl (and not much room to explore anyway). For most of the day he heard no language, saw no new sights, and received no attention.
当玛丽亚带弗兰克出去散步时，莱昂起初在他的婴儿床上哭泣。但他很快就明白哭泣无济于事，所以他停止了。他躺在那儿，一个人，没人照顾，没有人可以和他说话，也没有人称赞他学会了翻身或爬行（而且没有太多空间可以探索）。在一天的大部分时间里，他听不到任何语言，没有看到新的景象，也没有受到任何关注。
