【中英双语熟肉】异乡人 洛夫克拉夫特著 | The Outsider by H.

对童年时代的回忆只会勾起恐惧和悲伤的人是何其的不幸啊

Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness.

只能想起独自待在宽广而阴森的房间

Wretched is he who looks back upon lone hours in vast and

是悬挂着褐色帷幔和排着一堆足以令人疯狂的古书的房间

dismal chambers with brown hangings and maddening rows of ancient books

或是守望着暮色降临时，暮光穿透过

or upon awed watches in twilight groves of grotesque

被藤蔓缠绕而扭曲生长的枝条的怪诞巨林的人是多么可悲啊

gigantic, and vine-encumbered trees that silently wave twisted branches far aloft.

正如诸神赐予了我许多

Such as the lord that the gods gave to me,

迷茫、失落、空洞和破碎

the dazed, the disappointed; the barren, the broken. 

可每当我的心短暂地动摇时

And yet I am strangely content, 

我却会不可思议地满足于这些回忆

and cling desperately to those withered memories

不顾一切地将这些渐渐消失的回忆紧抓不放

when my mind momentarily threatens to reach beyond to the other.

我对自己出生的地方一无所知

I know not where I was born

只记得那是一座无比古老、无比可怕的城堡

save that the castle was infinitely old and infinitely horrible

许多昏黑的走廊，在高高的穹顶上只能看到蛛网和暗影

full of dark passages and having high ceilings where the eye could find only cobwebs and shadows

那些崩颓走廊里的石块似乎总是潮湿得令人生厌

The stones in the crumbling corridors seemed always hideously damp

城堡里到处都弥漫着一股令人难受的恶臭味

and there was an accursed stench everywhere

仿佛历代死者的亡骸都堆在了一起

as of the piled-up corpses of dead generations

那里从来不会透进光明

It was never light

因此我过去会点起一些蜡烛，永不饱足地凝视着烛光，以求安慰

so that I used sometimes to light candles and gaze steadily at them for relief

室外那些恐怖巨树的枝叶遮天蔽日

Nor was there any sun outdoors

它们的高度早已超越了任何一座我能爬上的塔楼

since the terrible trees grew high above the topmost accessible tower

只有一座黑色的高塔能刺穿树海

There was one black tower which reached above the trees

直指从未得见的天空

 into the unknown outer sky

但它的许多地方都已坍塌

but it wasn’t ruins and could not be ascended

除非我在垂直的塔壁上一块石头接一块石头地攀登，否则不可能爬上

save by nine possible climb up the sheer wall stone by stone

我一定在这里住了很久很久

I must have lived years in this place

但具体时间，我完全无法计测

but I cannot measure the time

一定有人在照顾我的日常生活

Beings must have cared for my needs

但我想不起除我以外的任何人

yet I cannot recall any person except myself

这里的活物，只有行动时悄然无声的老鼠、蝙蝠、蜘蛛而已

or anything alive but the noiseless rats and bats and spiders

那些养育我的人，无论是谁，必然都万分古老

 I think that whoever nursed me must have been shockingly aged

因为我一开始对活人的概念

since my first conception of a living person

就只是那些与我神似，

 was that of something mockingly like myself

但却肢体扭曲、皮肤干瘪、宛如和这座城堡一样衰朽的家伙

yet distorted,shriveled,and decaying like the castle

我对骨片和骸骨早已见怪不怪

To me there was nothing grotesque in the bones and skeletons

它们就散乱在城堡深处的石砌地窖里

that stowed some of the stone crypts hidden deep down among the foundations

我曾捕风捉影地把这些东西和每天发生的事情联系起来

I fantastically associated these things with every-day events

并且我觉得它们都比我从那些

and thought them more natural than the coloured pictures 

发霉的古书里看到的活人彩图更加自然

of living beings which I found in many of the mouldy books

我从这些书中学到了一切

From such books I learned all that I know

没有老师教导我

No teacher urged or guided me

在活着的岁月里，我从未听到过人类的声音，甚至包括我自己的声音

and I do not recall hearing any human voice in all those years—not even my own

我虽然从书里学会了怎样对话

for although I had read of speech

但从没想过自己发声说出

I had never thought to try to speak aloud

我只能猜测自己的模样

My appearance was a matter equally unthought of

因为城堡里连一面镜子也没有

for there were no mirrors in the castle

自认为我应该类似

and I merely regarded myself

那些我在书中看到的、被画出或被印出的年轻人

by instinct as akin to the youthful figures I saw drawn and painted in the books

因为我能记起的事情非常少，所以我想自己应该很年轻

I felt conscious of youth because I remembered so little.

城堡外，穿过腐臭的护城河，在昏暗而沉默的树林下

Outside, across the putrid moat and under the dark mute trees

我经常长时间躺着幻想着书中读到的内容

I would often lie and dream for hours about what I read in the books

也会渴望着自己

and would longingly picture myself

能够踏上无尽森林之外的阳光世界，置身在活泼的人群中

amidst joyous crowds in the sunny world beyond the endless forest

我曾试图逃出森林

Once I tried to escape the forest

但越是远离城堡，

but as I went farther from the castle

树影就越是浓密，周围的恐怖气息也越发高涨

the shade grew denser and the air more filled with brooding fear

所以我只能狂乱的跑回去

so that I ran frantically

生怕自己迷失在这漆黑而死寂的迷宫中

back lest I lose my way in a labyrinth of nighted silence

我只能这样在无尽的微明中怀着梦想等待

And so through endless twilights I dreamed and waited

可我甚至不知道自己在等待什么

though I knew not what I waited for

在阴霾和孤独中，我对光明的憧憬

And in the blackness of my solitude my longing for light

越来越强，甚至达到了疯狂的境界

grew so frantic that I could rest no more

只好把哀求的手伸向那座刺穿树海的

and I lifted entreating hands to the single black ruined tower

直指天空的崩塌黑塔

that reached above the forest into unknown outer sky

终于，冒着可能从塔上摔下的危险，我下定决心爬上那座塔

And at last I resolved to scale that tower fall though I might

哪怕瞥一眼天空就立即死去

since it were better to glimpse the sky and perish

也好过一生从未见过一次天空

 than to live without ever beholding day

在阴冷微光中，我登上年久失修的台阶

In the dank twilight I climbed the worn and aged stone stairs

一直走到塌陷的地方。

till I reached the level where they ceased

然后，我踩着狭小的立足之处一点点向上挪过去

and thereafter clung perilously to small footholds leading upward

这个没有台阶的石柱

Ghastly and terrible was the dead

让我感到毛骨悚然

sterile a cylinder of rock

它阴森，破败，荒废

black, ruined, and deserted

周围只有受惊的蝙蝠无声的飞过

and sinister with startled bats whose wings made no noise

但攀登的缓慢进展使得气氛变得更加让我恐惧

But more ghastly and terrible still was the slowness of my progress

不管怎么爬，黑暗都不见薄弱

for climb as I might the darkness overhead grew no thinner

这股新的恶寒开始不断侵袭，纠缠着我

and a new chill as of haunted and venerable mould assailed me

我奇怪为什么爬这么久都看不见光亮

I shivered as I wondered why I did not reach the light

同时颤抖着，鼓起勇气向下望

and would have looked down had I dared

我想象着黑夜突然降临时

I fancied that night had come suddenly upon me

一只手徒劳地摸索着，寻找也许能让我向外张望

and vainly grasped with one free hand for a window embrasure

并能试着以此判断自己现在高度的窗棂

where I might peer out and above and try to judge the height I had reached.

在这场骇人的，永无休止的爬行

All at once，after an infinity of stunning

我看不见任何东西，只能立足于小洼坑上

sightless crawling up that concave and desperate precipice

我的头突然碰到了一个坚硬的东西

I felt my head touch a solid thing

我知道我一定是爬到塔顶了

and I knew I must have reached the roof

或至少是某层的天花板

or at least some kind of floor

在黑暗中，我伸出一只手开始探摸它

In the darkness I raised my free hand and tested the barrier

直到发现这是一道不可撼动的石壁

finding it stone and immovable

环着塔上这些致命的立足点

Then came a deadly lap around the edges of the tower

我抓住一切能在粘滑的塔壁上能抓住的东西

 clinging to whatever holds the slimy wall could give

最后发现一个能用单手推动的地方

till finally my testing hand found the barrier yielding

然后我又用双手开始这可怕的攀登

and I turned upward again

并用头顶开了石壁上的厚板或门

pushing the slab with my head as I used both hands in my fearful ascent

上面没有一丝光亮

There was no light revealed above

当我向更高处摸索时才发现这次攀登已经结束

and as my hands went higher I knew that my climb had for the now ended

这厚板原来是盖在地穴上的板门

since the slab was the trap-door of an aperture

而地穴正处于宽广而平坦的铺石地面上

leading to a level stone surface of greater circumference than the tower below

这无疑就是“塔顶”的瞭望室了

no doubt the floor of some lofty and broad observation chamber

我艰难且小心地从地穴钻出

I crawled through carefully

为了不让板门落回原处

and tried to prevent the slab from falling back into place

但我失败了

but failed in my attempt

只能精疲力尽地倒在铺石地面上

As I lay exhausted on the stone floor

听着板门关闭时撞出的巨响

I heard the eerie echoes of its fall

希望在必要时还能把它翘起来

but hoped when necessary to pry it open again.

我相信自己已经远远高过

Believing I was now at a prodigious height

那森林的可憎的枝叶

far above the accursed branches of the woods

我努力从地板爬起，在周围寻找窗户

I dragged myself up from the floor and fumbled about for windows

想生平第一次看到天空

that I might look for the first time upon the sky

以及我从书中读到的月亮和星辰

and the moon and stars which I had read

但我的每一次摸索都只是把希望变成虚无

But on every hand I was disappointed

周围只有巨大的大理石架

as all that I found were vast shelves of marble

放着一堆让大到让我心烦意乱的方形箱子

bearing strange elongated boxes of disturbing size

我苦思冥想

More and more I reflected

在这座高高耸立、自太古之时

and wondered what odd secrets might abide in

就与下方城堡切断了联系的房间里究竟潜藏着怎样的稀奇的秘密

this high chamber so many eons cut off from the castle below

就在这时，我的手突然碰到了一扇门

Then unexpectedly my hands came upon a doorway

门框上有着粗糙的奇怪的石凿刻痕

where hung a portal of stone rough with strange chiseling

门上了锁

Trying it, I found it locked

但我使尽全身力气

but with a supreme burst of strength

把它从里面拉开了

I overcame all obstacles and dragged it inwards

当它打开时

As I did so

我心里充满了前所未有的至纯的喜悦

there came to me the purest ecstasy I have ever known

我看到光明从一道精美的铁栅后射来

for shining tranquilly through an ornate grating of iron

静静地洒在门后不长的台阶上

and down a short stone passageway of steps

从这新发现的门口后升起的

that ascended from the newly found doorway

是满月耿耿的冷光

was the radiant full moon

我从没见过的

which I had never seen before

除了在梦里和那些我不敢称之为记忆的模糊幻影里想象的

save in dreams and in vague visions I dared not call memories.

我觉得我已经到了整座城堡的最高点

Fancying now that I had attained the very pinnacle of the castle

我一路快跑，登上门后的台阶

I commenced rush up the few steps beyond the door

刚跑上几级，月亮

but the sudden veiling of the moon

就被云朵遮住了，使我绊倒在地

by the clouds caused me to stumble

我缓慢的在黑暗中摸索前行

and I felt my way more slowly in the dark

爬到铁栅边时，周围还是一片黑暗

It was still very dark when I reached the grating—

仔细检查后，我发现铁栅没有上锁

which I inspected carefully and found unlocked

但我害怕会从自己爬上来的高处摔下，所以我没有打开

but which I dared not open for fear of falling from the amazing heightto which I had climbed

这时，月亮又出来了

And Then the moon grazed me once more with its light.

一切冲击中，最能使人狂乱的

Most the monocle of all shocks is

无非是那些完全出乎意料、荒诞到极度不可信的冲击了。

that of the abysmally unexpected and grotesquely unbelievable

我经历过的任何恐怖都无法与眼前的景色、以及

Nothing I had before undergone could compare in terror with what I now saw

这副景色的怪异和惊奇带来的恐怖相比拟

with the bizarre marvels that sight implied

这景象如此令我骇异，因为它如此的平凡

The sight itself was as simple as it was stupefying

我透过铁栅看到的，不是从巍然的高远之处俯瞰到的令人头晕目眩的树海

instead of a dizzying prospect of treetops seen from a lofty height

而只是从我周围铺展出去的坚实地面

there stretched around me on a level through the grating nothing less than the solid ground

以及铺设在地上的大理石板面和圆柱而已

decked and decorated by marble slabs and columns

一座古老石砌教堂的阴影笼罩着这一切

and overshadowed by an ancient stone church

它倒塌的尖塔在月光下散发着幽寂的光

whose ruined spire gleamed spectrally in the moonlight

几乎是无意识的

Half unconscious

我打开了栅门，蹒跚地走上

I opened the grating and staggered out upon the white gravel path

通往两个方向的白砂小道

that stretched away in two directions

我的心尽管呆然而错乱

My mind stunned and chaotic as it was

但依然没有抛弃对光明的渴望

still held the frantic craving for light

哪怕天地异变的惊奇就摆在眼前，我也不会停下脚步

and not even the fantastic wonder which had happened could stay my course

我不知道，也不关心现在的这些究竟是疯狂

 I neither knew nor cared whether my experience was insanity

梦想，还是幻术

dreaming, or magic

只是下定决心无论如何也要让光明在眼前绽放

but was determined to gaze on brilliance and joy at any cost

我不知道自己是谁、是什么、

I knew not who I was or what I was

身在何处

or what my surroundings might be

但当蹒跚地挪动脚步时，我意识到

though as I continued to stumble along I became conscious

自己前往的方向绝非偶然选择，而是出自某种可怖的潜在记忆

of a kind of fearsome latent memory that made my progress not wholly fortuitous

我穿过拱门，走在这个遍布石板和圆柱的区域，

I passed under an arch out of that region of slabs and columns

在广阔的土地上漫步。

and wandered through the open country

沿着已有的道路前行

sometimes following the visible road

或奇怪地走上草地

and sometimes leaving it curiously to tread across meadows

只有些许遗迹能够表明在草地中曾存在一个古道

where only occasional ruins bespoke the ancient presence of a forgotten road

我甚至游过一条湍急的小河，河里有一些

And once I swam across a swift river where crumbling

长满苔藓的崩石，表明这里有一座早已消失的桥

 mossy masonry told of a bridge long vanished

大概花了两个小时，我才到达那座位于繁茂林园之内、

Over two hours must have passed before I reached what seemed to be my goal

爬满青藤、古意盎然的城堡

a venerable ivied castle in a thick wooded park

它有一种令我疯狂的亲切

maddeningly familiar

又有一种令我困惑的生疏

yet full of perplexing strangeness to me

我看到护城河被填上

I saw that the moat was filled in

熟悉的塔楼已被拆除

and that some of the well-known towers were demolished

但新建的侧楼让我有些糊涂

whilst new structures arose to confuse the beholder

然而让我欢欣而喜注视的，是有几扇还打开的窗口——

But what I observed with chief interest and delight were the open windows—

窗口散发着灿烂的灯光，更有快活的宴会才会发出的笑语欢声

gorgeously ablaze with light and sending forth the sound of the most gleeful revelry.

我走近一扇窗户，向里窥视，看到一群奇装异服的人

Advancing to one of these I looked in and saw an oddly dressed company, indeed

在无忧无虑、清新爽朗地语笑喧阗

making merry, and speaking brightly to one another.

我以前从未听到过人类地言语

I had never, seemingly, heard human speech before

只能模糊猜想他们在交谈的内容

and could guess only vaguely what was said

它们中有几个人地面容似乎让我

Some of the faces seemed to hold expressions 

想起了及其古老的记忆

that brought up incredible remote recollections

除此之外的脸都十分陌生

others were utterly alien.

我越过低矮的窗台，踏入灯火辉煌的房间

I now stepped through the low window into the brilliantly lighted room

这一刻，我从充满光明希望的下一瞬间

stepping as I did from my single bright moment

一下落入绝望和领悟的黑暗漩涡

of hope to my blackest convulsion of despair and realization

噩梦降临

The nightmare was quick to come

当我刚要进屋

for as I entered

房间里就顿时化做了最可怕的惊骇图景

there occurred immediately one of the most terrifying demonstrations I had ever conceived

我刚跨过门槛，整个房间就充斥着

Scarcely had I crossed the sill when there descended upon the whole company

突发的恐惧和猛烈的畏怖

a sudden and unheralded fear of hideous intensity

他们的脸全都扭曲不堪，喉咙里发出最可怕的尖嚎

distorting every face and evoking the most horrible screams from nearly every throat

所有人都夺路而逃

Flight was universal

有几个人在喧嚣和恐慌中昏倒

and in the clamour and panic several fell in a soon and were dragged away

然后被疯狂逃窜的同伴拖走

by their madly fleeing companions

更多的人用双手挡住眼睛

Many covered their eyes with their hands

向没头苍蝇那样乱撞

and plunged blindly and awkwardly in their race to escape

踢翻家具、碰到墙上

overturning furniture and stumbling against the walls

直到撞出很多房门中的一扇为止

before they managed to reach one of the many doors.

尖叫声依然在梁间回响

The cries were shocking

我呆然地站在明亮的房间里

and as I stood in the brilliant chamber alone and dazed

听着逐渐消失的回声

 listening to their vanishing echoes

想到附近潜藏着怎样的恐惧之物，我不禁颤抖起来

I trembled at the thought of what might be lurking near me unseen

一望之下，房间空荡无人

At a casual inspection the room seemed deserted

但向墙壁的一个凹陷处走去时，我发现了有物活动的痕迹—

but when I moved toward one of the alcoves I thought I detected a presence there—

那凹陷原来是涂金的拱门，

a hint of motion beyond the golden-arched doorway

通往一个和这里别无二致的房间

leading to another and somewhat similar room.

接近拱门时我更加清楚地感到了那种迹象

As I approached the arch I began to perceive the presence more clearly

然后我看见了它，第一次也是最后一次发出了嚎叫—

and then, with the first and last sound I ever uttered—

这叫声几乎和导致我惊叫的恶因一样阴惨

a ghastly whale that revolted me almost disappointedly as its noxious cause—

我竟然直面了那只可怕的、鲜活的

I beheld in full the frightful vividness of the inconceivable

不可想象、不可言述、不可称谓的怪物

indescribable, and unmentionable monstrosity

那只仅仅是露一露脸就足以使一伙欢乐的宾主瞬间变作一群癫狂的逃亡者的怪物

which had by its simple appearance changed a merry company to a herd of delirious fugitives.

我无法描述那是个什么样的东西

I cannot even hint what it was like

或是拿其与某物比拟

or it was a compound of all that is

那简直是肮脏、怪异、嫌恶、畸形和可厌的混合体

unclean, uncanny, unwelcome, abnormal, and detestable

是一具恶鬼之影

 It was the ghoulish shade of decay, 

衰坏、古老而凄凉不堪

antiquity, and desolation; the putrid,

他那腐烂的脓汁流淌的不净之体本应被仁慈

dripping idle on of deleterious revelation

的大地永远隐藏，可现在却暴露在地表之上

 the awful baring of that which the merciful earth should forever hide.

天啊，它是不属于这个世界的—

God knows it was not of this world—

或不会在这世上长存的

or no longer of this world

在我眼中，它那被啃得露出骨架的轮廓更像是一具荒谬地戏拟了

and yet to my horror I saw in its eaten-away and bone-revealing outlines a leering,

人类的姿态，却拙劣的赝品

abhorrent travesty on the human shape

它身上那发霉的

and in its mouldy

支离破碎的衣物却使我感到了一种难以言喻、肝胆欲裂的寒意

disintegrating apparel an unspeakable quality that chilled me even more

我几乎昏倒

I was almost paralysed

不过还有试图挣扎着逃跑的气力

but not too much so to make a feeble effort toward flight

可就算我跌撞着向后挪去，也无法打破这无名、

a backward stumble which failed to break the spell in which the nameless

无声的怪物施加在我身上的魔法

voiceless monster held me

那对玻璃球般的眼球瞪着我

My eyes, bewitched by the glassy orbs

向我施了咒

which stared loathsomely into them

让我不得闭眼

refused to close

我的视线开始变得模糊

though they were mercifully blurred

只能看到那恐怖之影的轮廓

and shewed the terrible object but indistinctly after the first shock

我想抬起手阻挡我的视线

I tried to raise my hand to shut out the sight

但我的神经已经麻痹，连手臂都无法动弹

yet so stunned were my nerves that my arm could not fully obey my will

然而这动作

The attemp,however,

使我失去了平衡

was enough to disturb my balance

我向前踉跄了几步防止自己摔倒

And I had stagger forward several steps to avoid falling

突然我发现那仿若腐尸的东西

As I did so I became suddenly and agonizingly

是如此的接近

aware of the nearness of the carrion thing,

我甚至在想象中听到了它空洞而可怕的呼吸声

whose hideous hollow breathing I half fancied I could hear

几近疯狂，

Nearly mad,

为了挡开那近在咫尺

I found myself able to throw out a hand to ward off 

散发恶臭的厉鬼，我伸手挥了一下

the foetid apparition which pressed so close

在这宇宙的噩梦与地狱的灾变一齐涌来的一瞬间

when in one cataclysmic second of cosmic nightmarishness

我的手指碰到了那只怪物

and hellish accident my fingers touched the rotting

从金色拱门下伸来的腐烂指爪

outstretched paw of the monster beneath the golden arch.

我没有尖叫

I did not shriek,

但那些乘着夜风而行的食尸鬼们

but all the fiendish ghouls that ride the night-wind

全部替我尖叫了起来

shrieked for me as in that same second there

尖叫声伴随着早已消逝的记忆又如雪崩般把我心灵淹没

crashed down upon my mind a single and fleeting avalanche of so annihilating memory.

我知道了过往的一切

I knew in that second all that had happened

忆起了城堡和森林之外的恐惧

I remembered beyond the frightful castle and the trees

搞清了这座我正置身其中、早已改建过的建筑

and recognized the altered edifice in which I now stood

而尤为恐怖的是

I recognized, most terrible of all

在抽回被弄污的手指的同时我认出了这只不洁而可憎的正站在面前睨视我的怪物

the unholy abomination that stood leering before me as I withdrew my solid fingers from its own

但在这宇宙中有残酷也有慰藉

But in the cosmos there is soulless as well as bitterness

那慰藉就是”忘却“这剂灵药

and that soulless is oblivion

在至高无上的恐怖之中，我忘记了是我惊骇的事物

In the supreme horror of that second I forgot that which had horrified me

心中反复回荡的残影形成一片混沌，至暗记忆在混沌中消失殆尽

and the burst of black memory vanished in a chaos of echoing images

我在噩梦里逃离了那座被诅咒、被鬼缠的宅邸

In a dream I fled from that haunted and accursed pile

飞快而安静地奔跑在月光之下

and ran swiftly and silently in the moonlight

当我回到大理石教堂的坟地

When I returned to the churchyard place

走下台阶时，发现那扇石头活门已经无法挪动分毫

of marble and went down the steps I found the stone trap-door immovable

但我并不难过

but I was not sorry

我本来就憎恶那座古堡和森林

for I had come to hate the ancient castle and the trees

现在，我与那些爱嘲讽但友善的食尸鬼们一起乘夜风而行

Now I ride with the mocking and friendly ghouls on the night-wind

在涅弗伦·卡的地下墓穴

and play by day amongst the catacombs 

里游乐，他那隐秘而被封印的坟茔位于尼罗河畔的哈多斯山谷中

of Nephren-Ka in the sealed and unknown valley of hadoff by the Nile

我清楚地知道我现在拥有的光明

 I know that light is not for me

只是照耀在涅伯石冢上的月光

save that of the moon over the rock tombs of Neb

现在所拥有的欢乐，只是大金字塔下妮托克利斯的无名飨宴

nor any joy save the unnamed feasts of Nitokris beneath the Great Pyramid

在这全新的疯狂和自由中

and yet in my new wildness and freedom

我要感谢我异邦人身份所带来的苦痛

I almost welcome the bitterness of alienation.

即使遗忘给我带来了慰藉

For although oblivion has calmed me,

我知道我始终都是一个异乡人

 I know always that I am an outsider

是一个置身于这个世纪、置身于那些依然是人类当中的异类

a stranger in this century and among those who are still men

自那天以来我一直都明白这一点，自从那天我向那个金框之后的

This I have known ever since I stretched out my fingers to the abomination

丑恶之物伸出手以来

within that great gilded frame

当我伸出的手指

When I stretched out my fingers

碰到了又冷又硬、被擦的锃亮的镜子表面

and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.

仅供参考学习