嗯,生活还是要有点甜——《it starts with us 》读书笔记
上部 :It ends with us 实在是太悲了
下部 :It starts with us 终于治愈系了
上部It ends with us主要围绕着爸爸家暴母亲的女主遇人不淑,婚后被家暴,最后解脱的故事,男主的存在感不高。

故事梗概:
it starts with us 讲述着女主Lily独立生活带娃,然后和男主Atlas相爱的故事,虽然各自都有生活中的种种困难,但是他们都在破碎的家庭环境中,活出了更好的自己,遇到了更好的彼此,也治愈着彼此。
喜欢这本书中的的几个地方:
01 治愈拥抱
书中描述男主跑到女主家,只是给她一个拥抱。而当天两个人都遇到了不好的事情,当他们拥抱着彼此,给彼此能量,可以继续面对生活中的种种问题,并治愈着彼此,真好。本书大部分都是甜甜的。女主治愈着男主的过去,男主治愈着女主的现在。
He holds me so tight, it makes me want to ask him what was so bad about the last hour, but I don’t. I just quietly hug him back. I settle my cheek against his shoulder and revel in the comfort of him.
02 两种愤怒
当前夫Ryle在女主门口,发泄他的愤怒,按住她的时候,女主终于醒悟,他根本没变,于是恐惧再现,那是前期被家暴的时候才会有的情绪。也终于解脱,不再自我怀疑。以为是自己做了什么错事导致Ryle的行为。
同样男主愤怒的时候,她却觉得温暖,那是一种想保护她的愤怒,不是伤害她的愤怒,真的是太暖了,也让女主看到了愤怒的两面,看到了愤怒好的一面。女主的某种缺失慢慢的找回。双向的失而复得。
Atlas is so angry, but this is an anger I’m not afraid of.
I realize the significance of this moment. I’m alone with an angry man in my apartment, but I’m not in fear for my life, because he isn’t angry at me. He’s angry at the person who hurt me. It’s a protective anger, and there’s a world of difference between my reactions to Ryle’s anger versus my reaction to Atlas’s anger.
03 拥有处理问题的能力
本来以为本书会有男主去揍前夫,并且帮助女主解决问题的情节,或者女主帮助男主处理家务事,可是书中并没有。在同一章节中,女主自己处理了前夫的问题,男主自己处理了家务事,真的是一股清流。先有自己,才有彼此。女主即是脆弱的也是勇敢的,当意识到前夫本质没变,果断的处理。而男主一直知道父母德行,也是果断的处理了。
写在最后:
家暴的心里危害:上部描述了家暴对女主身体的伤害,这本书更多描写的是家暴对女主的心里伤害,每次女主自我怀疑是不是想太多了,都会拿住一个之前写好的纸条,这PTSD实在是太心疼了,只能说宝儿,别想太多,真的不是你的问题。
When he grabs his jacket and disappears out the front door, I feel that familiar twinge of guilt creeping into my chest. The guilt is always followed by doubts like, Am I being too hard on him? and What if he really has changed?
I know the answers to these questions, but sometimes it feels good to read the reminders. I go to my room and pull the list out of my jewelry box.
1) He slapped you because you laughed.
2) He pushed you down a flight of stairs.
3) He bit you.
4) He tried to force himself on you.
5) You had to get stitches because of him.
6) Your husband physically hurt you more than once. It would have happened again and again.
7) You did this for your daughter.
这本书可能不如上一本有很深刻的意义,但是作者给了男女主好的结局,感恩。作者本来没想开这本书,奈何上本太火,网友们呼吁太热烈,只能说作者很宠读者了,双向的呢。也知道书中的女主常有,男主根本没有(或许有,但是很少,哈哈哈),又把自己的恋爱脑按下去了。看完本书之后:嗯,生活还是要有点甜。