[Just a diary]I killed someone again

I killed someone again，已经不知道是第几次了。
我曾经以为经历了那么多年，我花费了那么多事情，经历了那么多困难。I will never kill anyone again。可是还是不行。I killed someone again。我控制不住我自己。我必须得控制住自己才可以。
Killing people really brings satisfaction。可我真的不能再这样下去了。

i dont even know how to fucking comfort you because I am getting better and I cant relate anymore
语言限制了我的思考，而我又不得不依赖它
我用垃圾塞满我的头脑，这样就可以暂时忘记死亡
自我被分裂成太多碎片

Attachment-focused parenting: effective strategies to care for children
the secure child: helping our children feel safe and confidence in a secure world
raising a secure child

杀不死我的必使我强大：创伤后成长心理学