自译 契诃夫短篇 玩笑

A JOKE 玩笑

原作契诃夫 Translated by Constance Garnett 1886

IT was a bright winter midday.... There was a sharp snapping frost and the curls on Nadenka’s temples and the down on her upper lip were covered with silvery frost. She was holding my arm and we were standing on a high hill. From where we stood to the ground below there stretched a smooth sloping descent in which the sun was reflected as in a looking-glass. Beside us was a little sledge lined with bright red cloth.

那是在冬天，一个晴空万里的中午……我和小雪手挽手站在山头，她的上嘴唇沾了一层银霜，两鬓的鬈发也被染成了白色。向山脚望去，平滑的雪坡在阳光下宛如一面明镜。在我们身边停着一架盖了红布的小雪橇。

 “Let us go down, Nadyezhda Petrovna!” I besought her. “Only once! I assure you we shall be all right and not hurt.”

“咱们滑下去吧！”我央求道，“就滑一次！放心，我保证你平平安安的。”

But Nadenka was afraid. The slope from her little goloshes to the bottom of the ice hill seemed to her a terrible, immensely deep abyss. Her spirit failed her, and she held her breath as she looked down, when I merely suggested her getting into the sledge, but what would it be if she were to risk flying into the abyss! She would die, she would go out of her mind.

小雪害怕极了。在她眼里，这道雪坡仿佛一道深不见底的深渊。我请她坐上雪橇，她向山下望了一眼，吓得差点背过气去。不行，她害怕，她怕掉下去摔死。

 “I entreat you!” I said. “You mustn’t be afraid! You know it’s poor-spirited, it’s cowardly!”

“怕什么！”我说道，“有什么好怕的！你难道就这点胆子？”

Nadenka gave way at last, and from her face I saw that she gave way in mortal dread. I sat her in the sledge, pale and trembling, put my arm round her and with her cast myself down the precipice.

小雪还是答应了，脸上害怕得仿佛要赴死一样。她坐进雪橇，脸色煞白，哆哩哆嗦，紧紧贴住我不放，我策动雪橇，滑下了万仞高坡。

The sledge flew like a bullet. The air cleft by our flight beat in our faces, roared, whistled in our ears, tore at us, nipped us cruelly in its anger, tried to tear our heads off our shoulders. We had hardly strength to breathe from the pressure of the wind. It seemed as though the devil himself had caught us in his claws and was dragging us with a roar to hell. Surrounding objects melted into one long furiously racing streak... another moment and it seemed we should perish.

雪橇飞得比子弹还快。迎面的狂风咆哮着，尖叫着，在我们脸上又抓又挠，恨不能把我们的脑袋给揪下来。我们被吹得喘不上气。雪橇仿佛被恶鬼握在掌心，一路呼啸着要冲进地府。周围的景物统统化成了一道飞逝的长线…仿佛再一眨眼我们就完蛋了。

 “I love you, Nadya!” I said in a low voice.

这时我悄声道：“小雪，我爱你！”

The sledge began moving more and more slowly, the roar of the wind and the whirr of the runners was no longer so terrible, it was easier to breathe, and at last we were at the bottom. Nadenka was more dead than alive. She was pale and scarcely breathing.... I helped her to get up.

雪橇的速度慢了下来，风声静了，想喘气也没那么困难了，就这样，我们一路滑到了山脚。小雪已然吓了个半死。她脸都白了，气也喘不匀了……我赶紧把她扶了起来。

“Nothing would induce me to go again,” she said, looking at me with wide eyes full of horror. “Nothing in the world! I almost died!”

“你骗人！”她望着我，眼里满是惊恐，“没下次了！早知道谁跟你滑！”

A little later she recovered herself and looked enquiringly into my eyes, wondering had I really uttered those four words or had she fancied them in the roar of the hurricane. And I stood beside her smoking and looking attentively at my glove.

不一会儿她缓过神来，一头雾水地直盯着我瞧，弄不清那三个字真是我说的，还是她听错了风声。我站在旁边抽烟，聚精会神地盯着自己的手套。

She took my arm and we spent a long while walking near the ice-hill. The riddle evidently would not let her rest.... Had those words been uttered or not?... Yes or no? Yes or no? It was the question of pride, or honour, of life — a very important question, the most important question in the world. Nadenka kept impatiently, sorrowfully looking into my face with a penetrating glance; she answered at random, waiting to see whether I would not speak. Oh, the play of feeling on that sweet face! I saw that she was struggling with herself, that she wanted to say something, to ask some question, but she could not find the words; she felt awkward and frightened and troubled by her joy....

她又挽住我，陪我在山脚下溜达了很久。那句话显然还没放过她……真是他说的吗？是吗？是不是？这个问题关系到名声，关系到荣辱，关系到一辈子——这是个很重要的问题，是世界上最重要的问题。小雪心不在焉地搭着话，忧愁的双眼紧追着我，想看我会不会招供。瞧把她急的！我眼见着她苦苦挣扎，一副欲语还休、想问又不知道问什么的样子。这突然的幸福惹得她害羞，吓得她害怕，搅得她心神不定……

“Do you know what,” she said without looking at me.

“喂。”她没看我，说道。

“Well?” I asked.

“什么事？”我问道。

“Let us... slide down again.”

“我…我想和你再滑一次。”

We clambered up the ice-hill by the steps again. I sat Nadenka, pale and trembling, in the sledge; again we flew into the terrible abyss, again the wind roared and the runners whirred, and again when the flight of our sledge was at its swiftest and noisiest, I said in a low voice:

我们顺着台阶又上了山。我把脸色煞白、浑身哆嗦的小雪扶进雪橇，又一次滑下了深渊险坡，风儿呼啸着，雪橇吱嘎着，在滑到速度最快、声音最吵的那一刻，我悄声道：

“I love you, Nadenka!”

“小雪，我爱你！”

When the sledge stopped, Nadenka flung a glance at the hill down which we had both slid, then bent a long look upon my face, listened to my voice which was unconcerned and passionless, and the whole of her little figure, every bit of it, even her muff and her hood expressed the utmost bewilderment, and on her face was written: “What does it mean? Who uttered those words? Did he, or did I only fancy it?”

滑到山脚，小雪瞥了一眼山坡，又一个劲追着我瞧，而我的声音却不紧不慢，若无其事。这回她全身上下，连衣服袖子都糊涂了，她脸上分明写着：“怎么回事？到底是谁说的？是我听错了吗？”

The uncertainty worried her and drove her out of all patience. The poor girl did not answer my questions, frowned, and was on the point of tears.

这次她彻底乱了，也不跟我搭茬了，只顾皱着眉，急得都快哭了。

“Hadn’t we better go home?” I asked.

“差不多该回去了吧。”我说道。

“Well, I... I like this tobogganning,” she said, flushing. “Shall we go down once more?”

“我…我还挺喜欢滑雪的。”她红着脸羞道，“能再来一次吗？”

She “liked” the tobogganning, and yet as she got into the sledge she was, as both times before, pale, trembling, hardly able to breathe for terror.

她口口声声说“喜欢”，可一坐上雪橇就现了原形，还是和前两次一样，脸色煞白、哆哩哆嗦，吓得连气都不会喘。

We went down for the third time, and I saw she was looking at my face and watching my lips. But I put my handkerchief to my lips, coughed, and when we reached the middle of the hill I succeeded in bringing out:

我们第三次滑了下去，她回头直看我，死死盯住我的嘴唇。不过我技高一筹，拿出条手绢挡住嘴，咳嗽了几声，等滑到半山腰的时候，我又一次说道：

“I love you, Nadya!”

“小雪，我爱你！”

And the mystery remained a mystery! Nadenka was silent, pondering on something.... I saw her home, she tried to walk slowly, slackened her pace and kept waiting to see whether I would not say those words to her, and I saw how her soul was suffering, what effort she was making not to say to herself:

她还是没发现！小雪不说话了，默默沉思着什么……回家的路上她特意迈着小步，想听听我到底会不会交待。能看出她心里乱成了一团，费了好大的劲才忍住没说：

“It cannot be that the wind said them! And I don’t want it to be the wind that said them!”

“我不信！不可能，一定不是风！”

Next morning I got a little note:

次日一早我收着张纸条：

“If you are tobogganning to-day, come for me. — N.”

“你今天要是去滑雪的话，记得叫我一声。雪。”

And from that time I began going every day tobogganning with Nadenka, and as we flew down in the sledge, every time I pronounced in a low voice the same words: “I love you, Nadya!”

从此以后我天天陪她滑雪，每次从山坡上冲下去的时候，我都会悄悄说道：“小雪，我爱你！”

Soon Nadenka grew used to that phrase as to alcohol or morphia. She could not live without it. It is true that flying down the ice-hill terrified her as before, but now the terror and danger gave a peculiar fascination to words of love — words which as before were a mystery and tantalized the soul. The same two — the wind and I were still suspected.... Which of the two was making love to her she did not know, but apparently by now she did not care; from which goblet one drinks matters little if only the beverage is intoxicating.

没过多久，小雪对这句话上瘾了，要是一天不听简直就活不了。她还是害怕滑雪，但这份恐惧却给这句情话增添了别样的魔力——这句话依然撩动心弦、所来成谜。而两个嫌疑人——风声和我依旧脱不开干系……她还是没弄清这话是谁说的，不过也不在乎了，就好像喝酒的人在意的只是佳酿，并不会为酒杯费心。

It happened I went to the skating-ground alone at midday; mingling with the crowd I saw Nadenka go up to the ice-hill and look about for me...then she timidly mounted the steps... She was frightened of going alone — oh, how frightened! She was white as the snow, she was trembling, she went as though to the scaffold, but she went, she went without looking back, resolutely. She had evidently determined to put it to the test at last: would those sweet amazing words be heard when I was not there? I saw her, pale, her lips parted with horror, get into the sledge, shut her eyes and saying good-bye for ever to the earth, set off.... “Whrrr!” whirred the runners. Whether Nadenka heard those words I do not know. I only saw her getting up from the sledge looking faint and exhausted. And one could tell from her face that she could not tell herself whether she had heard anything or not. Her terror while she had been flying down had deprived of her all power of hearing, of discriminating sounds, of understanding.

后来有天中午我一个人去滑雪，挤在人群之中，我看见小雪走到山脚下四处找我……随后她害羞地爬上了山坡……她不敢一个人滑，她害怕极了！她煞白得像雪一样，哆哆嗦嗦，仿佛要上刑场似的，可她毅然决然地走着，毫不退缩。她想最后试一试：我不在的时候还能听到那句话吗？我望着她吓得合不拢嘴，惨白兮兮地上了雪橇，闭上眼，道了一句永别，出发了……“嗖！”雪橇呼啸着。不知道小雪听没听见那句话。我只看见她仿佛从鬼门关回来一样从雪橇里站了起来。她脸上的表情已经说得很清楚了，她吓坏了，根本没心思去听，去想，去分辨。

But then the month of March arrived... the spring sunshine was more kindly.... Our ice-hill turned dark, lost its brilliance and finally melted. We gave up tobogganning. There was nowhere now where poor Nadenka could hear those words, and indeed no one to utter them, since there was no wind and I was going to Petersburg — for long, perhaps for ever.

很快，时间来到了三月……春日的阳光越来越暖和……山坡上的雪由白变黑，终于化了个干净。没法再滑雪了。小雪再也没机会听到那句话了，风停了，我也就要远走他乡——也许去好些日子，也许一去不返。

It happened two days before my departure I was sitting in the dusk in the little garden which was separated from the yard of Nadenka’s house by a high fence with nails in it.... It was still pretty cold, there was still snow by the manure heap, the trees looked dead but there was already the scent of spring and the rooks were cawing loudly as they settled for their night’s rest. I went up to the fence and stood for a long while peeping through a *****. I saw Nadenka come out into the porch and fix a mournful yearning gaze on the sky.... The spring wind was blowing straight into her pale dejected face.... It reminded her of the wind which roared at us on the ice-hill when she heard those four words, and her face became very, very sorrowful, a tear trickled down her cheek, and the poor child held out both arms as though begging the wind to bring her those words once more. And waiting for the wind I said in a low voice:

临走前两天的黄昏时分，我坐在自家的小花园里，一道高篱笆对面就是小雪家的院子……外面很冷，肥料堆顶上还留着一点积雪，树木一片荒芜，但已经能闻到春天的气息。乌鸦呱呱大叫着，纷纷回巢安歇了。我走到篱笆前，从一个小孔偷看了许久。我看到小雪走出门来，心痛欲碎地望向苍天……春风吹打在她那张心灰意冷的脸上……春风中，她想起了当初从我们耳边划过，吹响了那三个字的寒风。她的脸色沉了下去，一滴泪珠顺着面颊滑落，她张开怀抱，好像在央求春风再说一遍那句话。我等到刮风，悄声道：

“I love you, Nadya!”

“小雪，我爱你！”

Mercy! The change that came over Nadenka! She uttered a cry, smiled all over her face and looking joyful, happy and beautiful, held out her arms to meet the wind.

老天哪！这一句话让小雪变了个人！只听她一声尖叫，无边的喜悦在脸上荡漾开来，她伸出双臂，把春风拥入了怀中，她笑了，快乐极了，美极了。

And I went off to pack up....

我回到家，收拾起行李……

That was long ago. Now Nadenka is married; she married — whether of her own choice or not does not matter — a secretary of the Nobility Wardenship and now she has three children. That we once went tobogganning together, and that the wind brought her the words “I love you, Nadenka,” is not forgotten; it is for her now the happiest, most touching, and beautiful memory in her life....

这都是过去的事了。小雪早就有了人家——也不知道嫁得情不情愿——嫁给了一个有头有脸的大官，还养了三个孩子。但我们当年滑过的雪，狂风里的那句“小雪，我爱你”她仍然记得，那是她这辈子最幸福，最感动，最难忘的回忆……

But now that I am older I cannot understand why I uttered those words, what was my motive in that joke....

时过境迁，我始终想不明白当初我为什么要说那句话，为什么要开那个玩笑……