Putting Down the Boulder (for Now)

暂时放下重担

by Mizenhauer

作者：Mizenhauer

原文链接：https://tl.net/forum/starcraft-2/563328-soo-putting-down-the-boulder-for-now

原文发布于2020年9月18日。soO的兵役于2020年10月22日开始。

翻译：工团人

“Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn’t end.”
—Brian Flanagan

“万事终将惨淡收场，否则他们都不会终止。”

——布莱恩·弗拉纳根

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”
―Frank Herbert

“没有真正的终点——这只是故事结束的地方。”

——弗兰克·赫伯特

It’s the end of an era.

这是一个时代的结束。

soO has played his final season in Code S before starting his military service. Whether or not soO returns in the future, this moment was always going to be more of a gut punch than your average farewell tour. After all, no individual is inextricably linked to GSL’s flagship competition than its six time runner up.

输本打完了他兵役前的最后一届GSL。无论输本将要回归与否，这个瞬间都比一场正常的告别旅程要来得苦涩。但是，没有人能和输本一样，以六次亚军的战绩与GSL的舞台有如此多的纠葛。

Maru challenged for that honor when he earned his fourth consecutive Code S title in 2019. INnoVation, likewise, made a claim in 2017 when he won a then-unprecedented third time. Delve further back and you find pioneers such as Mvp and Nestea, whose triumphs in Korea's most prestigious league secured their status as titans of the game.

Maru在2019年的GSL四连冠时达到了相同的高度。吕布在2017年获得的，在当时史无前例的第三次GSL冠军也挑战了输本的地位。如果把时间倒回更远处，你会看到Mvp和雀茶这样的先驱者们，这些人在韩国顶级联赛上的胜利让他们青史留名。

And, yet, despite all that quartet has accomplished, it's inarguable that after ten years and 38 seasons, no exit leaves a larger wake than soO's.

但是即便有Maru四连冠这般的壮举，在10年38个赛季的冲刷后，输本从GSL舞台上的离去依然激起了层层回响。

soO departs StarCraft II as arguably one of the best five players of all time, and someone who belongs in the GOAT discussion. Second place in six GSL Code s Tournaments. Runner-up at BlizzCon 2017. Champion at IEM Katowice 2019. But, for all his accomplishments, soO’s significance is far bigger than his tournament resume.

soO以（可能是）星际二历史上最佳的五名选手之一，和GOAT讨论的一员的身份离开了这个游戏。六次GSL S级亚军。2017年暴雪嘉年华亚军。2019年IEM卡托维兹冠军。但是，若悉数输本的所有成就，你会发现他的伟大远远不止他站在领奖台上的履历那么简单。

StarCraft II is littered with champions. Some, like Seed or Sniper fade deeper into obscurity with each passing year. Others manage to become fixtures of the scene through continued excellence, but remained largely inaccessible to me for one reason or another. It’s difficult to place myself in Life’s shoes, and attempt to understand what drove him to squander his limitless potential. How am I to sympathize with Rogue, whose transformation into the best player in the world only occurs when the inclination strikes him? INnoVation’s perspective on StarCraft II is the antithesis of the idealized professional who competes tirelessly with an unfailing love of the game. These elements keep them at arm’s length, leaving nothing but their in-game prowess to admire.

那些冠军星罗棋布地点缀着星际二的历史。有些冠军，像Seed（译者注：2012年GSL S3冠军）和Sniper（译者注：2012年GSL S5冠军）随着时间的流逝逐渐退出人们的视野；另一些则用他们持续的出色表现站稳了脚跟。可是，出于各种各样的原因，我总是无法完全欣赏和理解他们。我实在搞不懂是什么东西让Life断送了自己无量的前程；我也无法对Rogue感到任何同情，他只会在自己想要努力之时登上世界巅峰；INnoVation的星际二职业生涯，与那种“为自己对游戏的无限热爱而竞技”的理想职业选手截然相反。这些因素让我对他们的态度不即不离，仅仅留下他们游戏中的成就供我瞻仰。

But then there’s soO. The man who failed so many times, but somehow managed to pick himself up and try again and again. The man who matured through suffering and defeat rather than glory and victory.

但输本是个特例：这个人经历过无数次失败，却每次都艰难地重新站了起来，不懈地冲击着；这个人通过苦难和失败的历练，而不是胜利和荣光走向了属于他的成熟。

Disappointment is something we’ve all experienced. Failure is something we’ve all encountered. Missed opportunities, wasted chances, these are the currency of life. How we react to pitfalls and setbacks plays an essential role in determining what kind of person we eventually become. soO’s journey may take place on a different plane than ours—what with the hundred thousand dollar cashes and countless hours spent spent playing a video game at the highest possible level—but it runs the same gamut of emotions. How can you not empathize with him? How can his struggle not resonate within you?

我们都曾经历过失望。我们也都遭遇过失败。那些我们错过、浪费的机遇都是生活的筹码。而我们如何面对挫折和失败则很大程度上为我们指出了未来我们的样子。但是，输本的人生旅途与我们不尽相同——他花了大笔的钱财和无数个小时，在游戏中进行着世界最高水准的竞技——但他和我们的情绪是相通的。我们有谁能不对输本的艰难奋斗感同身受？

And, yet, for all its familiarity, soO’s pain is also unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It’s this slightly alien note that makes his tale all the more tragic, enthralling and, ultimately, iconic.

尽管对他的故事无比熟悉，输本的痛苦也与我所感受过的任何东西不同。是这条稍显青涩的动态让他的故事蒙上了一层悲剧的面纱，让人无比着迷，却又感到莫大的讽刺。

“The path to paradise begins in hell.”
―Dante Alighieri

“天堂之路始于地狱。”

——但丁·阿利吉耶里

soO stands as StarCraft II’s eighth highest earning player with more than 600,000 dollars in tournament winnings. The fact that a large portion of this sum came from second place finishes doesn’t make it any less impressive. He’s been a top three Korean Zerg for over half a decade and has flirted with the designation of best player in the world on more than one occasion. That fact that someone can exist who is so amazing at what they do, and yet never good enough, is fascinating. It lured me, as I tried to understand the man behind the mythos.

soO以超过60万美元的累计赛事奖金收入高居星际二历史上的第八位。这收入中一大部分来自于亚军奖金的事实也掩盖不了他耀眼的成就。他在六七年的时间里一直是韩国最强的三虫族之一,也不止一次与“世界最强选手”的称号相较量。输本的存在令人着迷：他的经历如此闪耀，却永远不能达到最好。当我尝试着他传奇故事背后真正的人格时，他便愈发吸引着我。

Ever since 2017, when I happened to make his acquaintance, he has been, perhaps, the most forthcoming StarCraft II pro I’ve ever encountered, Korean or otherwise. He's laid bare his feelings about his highest high and lowest lows in countless articles, interviews and videos, entrusting the entire StarCraft community with his vulnerabilities. Whether it’s talking about his time on SK Telecom, his desire to win a championship, or the relief that came when he finally crested the summit, we’ve had plenty of chances to study the evolution of his character.

从2017年我认识他开始,他一直是我见过的最直率的星际二职业选手，无论在韩国还是世界都是。他会在无数专栏、访谈和视频中赤诚地讲述他最大的得意和失意,信任星际社区中每一个倾听他脆弱过往的人。无论是他谈到自己在SKT时，对一个冠军的渴望，还是他在历尽千辛万苦后终于成功登顶时的释然，我们都可以从中得知他性格的成长经历。

soO wasn’t always the paragon of nobility he is today. He struggled greatly in 2014, as finals defeat after finals defeat weighed upon his mind. Hyper competitive, extremely critical and devoted to StarCraft in a way none outside the pro scene can comprehend, soO waged a war within as much as he battled opponents. His entire life had been spent in anticipation of moments like his showdowns against Dear, Zest, Classic or INnoVation. He’d dreamed of those sorts of matches, of the moment when his love of StarCraft, and the effort he put into it was validated on the grandest stage. Except that dream had rapidly morphed into a nightmare.

输本并不一直是我们今天所看到的星际选手之典范。2014年，一次又一次决赛的失利萦绕在他的脑海中。这让他万分挣扎。对星际二这个游戏极度竞争、极度认真、极度专一的投入是所有职业圈之外的人所不能理解的，而输本的内心挣扎则与他的星际比赛一样激烈。纵观他的一生，他都在期待着自己与Dear, Zest, Classic或INnoVation等顶尖选手的决赛，最终等来的却是失利。他幻想着这些，能让他在最高的舞台上迸发所有自己对星际的热爱，和他投入的无限努力的瞬间。只不过，这个梦想迅速化为了他的梦魇。

On and on it went for years and years. 2015 was the year he won KeSPA Cup, but even that momentary reprieve was quickly marred by a loss to INnoVation in Cologne. 2016 was a point of desperation, a time when soO finally had enough of the stringent team environment and the criticism of colleagues and fans alike. Who could blame him? soO’s descent into Kongdom wasn’t a private affair. One crushing defeat after another played out before an audience of thousands. Time and again we saw him at his most vulnerable, wounded, ashamed and horrified of what the game he loved had become.

期待与绝望的循环持续了一年又一年。2015是他登顶KeSPA杯的那年，但正当他认为自己可以松一口气之时，IEM科隆中对阵吕布的失利却迅速打碎了他的幻想。2016年是绝望的一年，这一年里输本终于受够了严格的队伍环境和同事与粉丝的唾骂。但又有谁能怪罪他呢？输本的日益消沉并不是他一个人的责任。在数千名观众面前的失利一个接一个地发生。我们一次又一次看到他在自己深爱着的游戏中经历最脆弱、伤痛、耻辱和恐怖的时刻。

Some made jokes, others expressed their sympathy, but could any of us claim to have any idea what went through soO’s mind as he was forced to watch his opponent celebrate amid falling confetti and adulation? Seemingly destined to be the tool of another’s ascension, we can only imagine the despair he must have felt. Despair rooted in the knowledge that, for all the excuses he chose never to make, soO’s fate was entirely his fault.

有些人开他的玩笑，其他人表达对他的同情，但是我们哪一个人能够说自己懂得输本在被迫目送着他的对手在彩纸屑和欢呼声中庆祝胜利时的心情？他似乎注定是为其他人出人头地而生的工具人，我们也只能想象他经历的种种绝望。他拒绝所有失利的借口，这使他的悲剧命运只能归咎于他自己；这就是他的绝望所根植的土壤。

None of us would have judged soO had he decided to call it quits. But, for soO, giving up was never an option. Battered, bruised, but never truly vanquished, soO came back in 2017 and, despite falling twice more in the finals of Code S, he asked the crowd with a wavering voice to put their sympathy for him to the side, and give GuMiho his righteous due.

如果输本决定退役，我们没人会去评价他。可是，输本的字典中没有放弃这个词。他被当头一棒，浑身淤青，却从未被彻底打倒；输本在2017年回归了，尽管又两次倒在了GSL决赛的舞台上，他还是用颤抖着的声音赢得了观众们的同情,却把自己应得的荣誉让给了GuMiho。

“It’s the unquenchable thirst for a championship which motivates me. It’s the quest to recapture the joy of the KeSPA Cup which enables me to keep picking myself back up. Only when I become a champion can I retire without regret.”
―Eo Yun Soo

“一种对冠军无法磨灭的渴望一直激励着我。我试图重拾夺冠KeSPA杯时的快乐，这也让我一次次地重新振作起来。只有在我手握冠军奖杯时，我才能无悔地退役。”

——鱼允秀

soO may have never won GSL, but it’s not as if he left those six finals empty handed. For all his talent, soO’s most admirable trait isn’t his incredible macro or some other StarCraft bound trait. It’s the courage and maturity that came with defying fate and never yielding. Every time a new season of Code S began, soO knew there was a chance he’d find himself in that same familiar position. But, he never hesitated. He never complained. In soO’s mind, there was only one choice. He began the climb once more. He acknowledged the mistakes of his past. He recognized the potential fate that lay ahead. He vowed to do better and tried as hard as ever. That’s why, though the exact circumstances of soO’s journey are so dissimilar to ours, his plight, when reduced to its most basic elements, is an essential part of the human experience. To fight against our inadequacies. To defy our fears. That is something to which each and everyone one of us can relate.

输本可能从未捧起过GSL奖杯，但若不是他在六次决赛上空手而归，他也不会如此落寞。在他所有的才华之中，soO最可敬的优点并不是他强大的运营或者其他与星际二相关的才华，而是他敢于向命运说“不”，永不屈服的勇气和成熟。每次GSL的新赛季开始时，输本都暗自清楚自己有可能落得亚手的熟悉下场；但是他从未迟疑过；他从未抱怨过；soO的心中只有这一条路可走。他又一次开始攀登；他承认了自己过去的错误；他看到了摆在自己面前可能发生的悲剧命运；他发誓做到更好并不懈努力着。这就是为什么，尽管输本人生旅途中的具体境遇与我们迥然相异，他困境的精髓却是每个人人生中的必经之路。战胜我们的短板，克服我们的恐惧——这是我们在座所有人都能感同身受的。

And, so, soO departs for the military with his reputation as one of StarCraft II’s greatest players firmly secured. His legacy, however, far outstrips trophies, prize money and accolades. That's because he managed something no other player could. He did more than amaze with brilliant in-game play. He did more than entertain with outside-the-game banter. Yes, he was the perfect encapsulation of what it meant to be a competitor, but he was so much more.

就这样，soO带着“星际二史上最伟大的选手之一”这个无可争议的名号走向了兵役。但他的遗产远不止奖杯、奖金与赞誉而已。这是因为他做了一件任何其他选手都不可能完成的事情。他所做的不止在游戏中的亮眼表现；他所做的不止在游戏外对嘲笑的苦中作乐。是的，他完美地诠释了什么叫做一个“竞争者”，但又绝对不仅于此。

soO was nothing short of an inspiration, a mighty feat indeed when you consider the tools at his disposal were a mere mouse and keyboard. His seven year StarCraft II journey is the stuff of fairy tales. He faced personal demons, rivals and impossible odds, but eventually persevered, reaching the zenith of the game at IEM Katowice, when his post match interview brought so many of us to tears. In that moment we felt an element of his relief, joy and fulfillment. All the pain, doubt and anguish that allowed soO to grow into the person he is today vanished as he, as we, celebrated his crowning achievement. I cried that day. I know many of you did as well. I'm choking up as I write this very article—as I look back and realize how the unassuming act of watching soO over the course of his career taught me more about the person I want to be than the RTS skills I hoped to emulate.

输本从来没缺过勇气：当你想起他战斗的唯二武器只有鼠标和键盘时，他的伟大功绩便显现了出来。他七年的星际二职业生涯如童话一般。他对抗着着自己的心魔，众多宿敌与不可能的逆境，却最终坚持了下来，在IEM卡托维兹中登上了星际二的巅峰，他的赛后采访让我们很多兄弟潸然泪下。那个瞬间，我们得以感受他的释然、喜悦和满足。所有让soO成长为今天模样的痛苦、怀疑和煎熬在他加冕为王时全部烟消云散。那天我哭了。我知道你们很多人也哭了。我哽咽着写下了这篇文章——我发现仅仅是回顾输本的职业生涯这件朴实的事，也能够给我关于我理想中自己应该成为的样子的启示，甚于我想要模仿的RTS技巧。

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
―Henry David Thoreau

“我至少从自身经历中领悟了如此道理：若一个人向自己梦想的方向自信地迈进，且努力去以他理想中的方式活着，他将会在寻常的时光中获得意外的成功。”

——亨利·大卫·梭罗

soO hasn't written off a return to competitive StarCraft II when his military service concludes, which is a rather fitting decision when you think of all he taught us over the course of his career. Eighteen months of mandatory time away from the game? Just another hardship to overcome.

输本尚未确定他在兵役结束后回归星际二的职业赛场，而当我们想到他的职业生涯带给我们的启发时，就会感到这将会是个正确的决定。18个月和游戏的强制离别？只是即将迈过去的另一个困难罢了。

As we, and as soO say goodbye to this phase of his life, we do so well aware that the state of Korean StarCraft may be very different when and if soO once more takes the stage.

当我们和soO自己向他的这段人生道别时，我们也需要注意到韩国星际的环境在输本归来时可能会有翻天覆地的变化。

But, however different the world will look in 2022, the legacy of Eo Yun Soo remains immutable. Unyielding, unbroken and as committed to his dreams as ever, soO is a living testament to the fact that incredible things can be accomplished if you never give up, if you never stop trying and press on in the face of adversity. None of us can be sure what the future holds, but what I do know is that soO has given me something for which I will forever be grateful.

但是，无论世界在2022年将会是何种模样，鱼允秀给我们的遗产依然不会消失。作为一个不屈不挠的追梦者，soO是“奇迹诞生于永不放弃，永远尝试和直面逆境之后”这一事实的鲜活证明。无人能揭开未来的面纱，但我明白，输本给了我一份能让我终身感恩的东西。

Credits and acknowledgements
作者署名与感谢

Writers: Mizenhauer

作者：Mizenhauer

Editor: Wax

编辑：Wax

Photos: Blizzard, TheOneAboveU

摄影：暴雪，TheOneAboveU