达斯·摩尔的日记 第六篇

I prefer night landings.Even if my Master hadn't decreed it,I would have chosen it.As I approach Tatooine,I can see the lights of the spaceports and the occasional solitary gleam of a moisture farmer's wretched dwelling.The lights tell me things the daylight cannot--the glare of the sun can hide,the sand can camouflage.But most creatures like to have lights at night.They reveal themselves.

我更喜欢在夜晚着陆。即使我的师父没有特意要求，我也会这么做。在我接近塔图因时，我能看到太空港的灯光和湿气农场主的简陋住所中时有时无的闪光。这些灯光揭示了在白天无法知晓的事——刺眼的阳光能用于隐蔽，沙子能用于伪装，但大多数生物喜欢在夜晚开灯。他们暴露了自己。

The sky is an inky blue as I land on an isolated mesa near my first search quadrant,close to Mos Espa.First,I activate detectors to make sure no one is in the area.Lord Sidious has warned me specifically not to attract attention on this mission.The probe droids will conduct the search.I must stay with the ship.

天空呈现着墨蓝色，我降落在了第一块搜索区域附近，靠近莫斯埃斯帕一座孤立的山上。我首先启动探测器以确保周围空无一人。西迪厄斯大人特意警告我不要在这一任务中引起注意。探测机器人会进行搜索。我必须和飞船呆在一起。

The wind is cold as I hike to a nearby dune and climb to the top.I sweep the area with my electrobinoculars.I can just make out the spaceport of Mos Espa in the distance.There are other settlements nearby.I activate three probe droids and send them out.The probes have been downloaded with information on the Jedi.They will send back readings that will give me the coordinates of the Jedi's location.

寒风彻骨，我徒步登上附近的一座沙丘。我用电子望远镜环视这一区域。目光所及之处我只能认出莫斯埃斯帕太空港以及附近的其他一些定居点。我派出了三个已经被植入有关绝地的信息的探测机器人。它们会将绝地的位置坐标传送回来给我。

By this time tomorrow,they will be dead at my feet.

明天的这个时候，他们就会死在我的脚下。

I trudge back to the ship.The sand sucks at my boots,and,thanks to my injury,each step requires an effort.Fiery blasts radiate from the wound.Sweat beads up on my forehead.

我艰难地返回了飞船。沙子在我的靴子里滚动，而且拜我的伤痛所赐，我的每一步都很吃力。伤口周围火辣辣的。我的额头上渗出了汗水。

I loathe weakness.It is time to tend to my wound now that the probes have been launched.

我讨厌虚弱的感觉。探测机器人已经离开，我也该照料一下伤口了。

Before I begin to dress my wound,I meditate,focusing on the pain until it becomes fiercer.It becomes every dark thought,every savage feeling I have felt.It becomes a power I can use.

在我开始包扎伤口前，我冥想着，将注意力集中在疼痛上直到它变得更剧烈。它逐渐使我想起我所拥有过的每一个黑暗的念头，每一次狂怒的感觉。它成为了能为我所用的力量。

There is no pain where strength lies.

强者没有痛苦。

My Master has told me that the Jedi look at pain differently.They embrace it.They thank it for alerting them to the fact that they've been wounded and need to care for themselves.They think this helps them heal.

师父向我讲述了绝地对于痛苦截然不同的看法。他们欣然接受它。他们为它提醒自己已经受伤且需要照料而感谢它。他们认为这能帮助他们疗伤。

What fools they are.Pain is power.I will take my pain and I will use it against them.

真是一群傻瓜。痛苦就是力量。我将会吸收我的痛苦并用它来对抗他们。

When I meet the Jedi,I will be even stronger than before.
当我遭遇绝地时，我将会比以往任何时候都要强大。

I delay applying bacta to the wound.I sit motionless,waiting out the pain until it becomes not pain,but desire.My need for revenge against the Jedi burns me.They have done this to me.My pursuit of them has brought me here.I pull the darkness around me like a hooded cloak.I surround myself with anger.

我尽量不使用巴克塔箱治疗伤口。我一动不动地坐着，等待着痛苦消逝，欲望升起。我对绝地的复仇欲燃烧着我。是他们对我做了这些。我对他们的欲望使我来到这里。我使黑暗如同斗篷一样包围我。我使自己被愤怒所包围。

Only then do I dress the wound and apply bacta.I feel myself begin to heal.

只有这时我才会包扎伤口并使用巴克塔箱。这时我才觉得自己真正开始痊愈。

As the night drags on,exhaustion from my battle with the pain that is not pain settles into my bones.I dress my wound again with bacta and bandages and stretch out on my sleep-couch.Despite my best efforts,my mind drifts.I remember back to the time I felt pain so searing I thought I would die from it.Pain so intense that I could not even remember my name.

夜色渐深，与痛苦作斗争所带来的的疲惫逐渐进入我的骨子里。我用巴克塔箱和绷带又包扎了一次伤口，然后在睡椅上伸展开四肢。尽管我尽了最大的努力，我的意识还是模糊了。我回想起我体验接近死亡的烧灼般的痛苦的那一天。那次的痛苦是如此剧烈，剧烈的我甚至连自己的姓名都忘了。

That was the day I became a Sith.

那是我成为西斯的那一天。

It is years ago.I am old enough to feel that I am already full grown and mature,but young enough not to know what that means.I do not know how old I am,for my Master never told me how long ago it was when he took me,or what my age is.Age is of no consequence to a Sith.We live long lives.We do not track our development in such a mundane way.

那是几年前的事了。我已足够年长以认为自己已经强壮成熟，却又足够年轻而不懂它意味着什么。我不知道自己多大，因为师父从未告诉我自从他带走我后过了多长时间，或是我的年龄。年龄对西斯不重要。我们万古长青。我们不会用这么平凡的方式记录自己的发展。

So it is not my age that tells my Master I am ready,but my abilities.I know I am strong and fast and I never break.My control of the darkness that fuels the Force is close to perfect.

是我的能力而不是年龄告诉师父我已准备就绪。我知道自己强壮迅捷，绝不失败。我对原力黑暗面的控制几近完美。

I am happy when my Master tells me I am ready to take the last tests that will allow me to become a Sith Lord.I have already fulfilled two years of missions for my Master.I have pleased him.I am ready.

当师父告诉我，我已准备好接受成为一名西斯尊主的考验时，我很高兴。两年以来我一直在为师父做事。我取悦了他。我准备好了。

For fourteen days,I take a series of physical tests.Lightsaber duels,endurance exercises,fasting.Some tests I take blindfolded or in a sensory-deprivation suit.It is the most grueling fourteen days I can imagine.By the time it ends,I am exhausted.

接下来的十四天中，我进行了一系列体能测试。光剑决斗、耐力测试、空腹训练。有些测试需要蒙眼或穿上知觉封闭衣。这是我所能想象到的最累人的十四天。在它结束时，我已筋疲力尽。

And I find that the test has not yet begun.

然而我发现考验尚未开始。

"I am sending you to a planet in the Outer Rim,"my Master tells me."It is made up of three kinds of terrain: desert,swamp,and mountains.You will have at least three matches on each terrain.I have sent a fleet of assassin droids to attack you.Each are programmed with different strategies.Some will work together,some will work alone.They are all programmed to kill."

“我将把你送到外环星域的一个行星上，”师父对我说。“它由三种地形组成：沙漠、沼泽和高山。每种地形中至少有三场战斗等着你。我已派去一队暗杀机器人去袭击你。每个机器人都有着不一样的策略。有些会合作，有些会单独行动。它们都被编程为杀戮。”

That gets my attention.

这吸引了我的注意。

"That is correct,"Lord Sidious says quietly."I am prepared to lose what I most value.So must you be to become a Sith.You must be prepared to lose your own life in order to win."

“这就对了，”西迪厄斯大人轻声说道。“我已准备好失去我最有价值的东西。所以你必须成为一个西斯。你必须准备好用生命换来胜利。”

I nod."I understand,my Master."
我点头。“我明白，师父。”

"You will have to survive for a month,"Lord Sidious adds."You will have only a survival pack."
“你必须在那里生存一个月，”西迪厄斯大人补充道。“你只能带一个生存包。”
Despite my exhaustion,I am exhilarated,too.Did I ever imagine it would be easy to become a Sith Lord?The value of anything is measured by effort.I will prove to my Master that I am the best apprentice in the history of the Sith.I shall not only survive,I shall conquer.

尽管我很疲惫，我也很振奋。我有没有想过成为一个西斯尊主是件容易事？成果是检验价值的唯一标准。我将会向师父证明我是西斯历史上最好的学徒。我不仅能活下来，还会获得胜利。

I realize now how young I was.I couldn't have known what was ahead of me.
我意识到自己是多么年轻。我完全不知道自己即将面临的是什么。

I land on the planet and begin my test.It is infinitely more difficult than my imagination has been able to grasp.The assassin droids are relentless.Again and again I am awakened by an attack.Again and again I fight,move camp,fight again.I am driven into the mountain snows and across the burning desert.I lose my survival pack in a battle and have to kill and forage for food.

我在行星上着陆，开始了我的考验。它的难度超出了我的想象。暗杀机器人是无情的。一次又一次，我被袭击所唤醒。一次又一次，我战斗，迁营，再次战斗。我被推入白雪皑皑的高山，被逼进炎热的沙漠。我在一次战斗中丢失了生存包，只好靠捕猎和采摘生存。

Ten days go by.Fifteen.Twenty.
十天过去了。十五天。二十天。

I grow thin and my strength begins to ebb.I have never felt such weakness,even during my fasts.And yet I have to go on.I have to fight,I have to find a place to rest,I have to fight again.I count off the days in my head.

我日渐消瘦，力量开始衰退。我从未有如此虚弱之感，即使是在空腹训练时。然而我得继续。我必须战斗，我必须找到安身之所，我必须再次战斗。我在脑中计算着天数。

One battle with two assassin droids almost undoes me.I sustain a bad blaster wound to my thigh.I drag myself to a cave to hide.I have no bacta,no bandages.Yet I know I must recover before I fight again.

我差点在与两个暗杀机器人的一次战斗中丧命。我被一发爆能束击中了大腿。我拖着自己的身子躲进了一个山洞。我没有巴克塔箱，没有绷带。但我知道我必须在下一次战斗前恢复自己。

The wound festers.It is a searing,blinding pain.I am too weak to forage for food.The days blur.I no longer know how long I've been on the planet.Surely it has been more than a month.Has my Master forgotten about me?

伤口溃烂了。这是种灼热炫目的疼痛。我太虚弱以至于无法寻找食物。日期逐渐模糊。我已经不知道自己在这颗行星上呆了多长时间。可以肯定的是绝对超过了一个月。难道师父把我忘在这里了？

I am close to hallucinating when Lord Sidious appears at the mouth of the cave.I am so glad to see him that my bones turn to water.I look at him hopefully.

当师父出现在洞口时，我几乎产生了幻觉。看到他是如此令我高兴，我的骨头都快变成一滩水了。我充满希望地看着他。

"Now it is time for your final battle,"he says.
“现在是时候进行你最后的战斗了，”他说。

Another battle?I can't even walk.
又一场战斗？我甚至连走路都不能了。

Yet his power over me is so strong that I rise on my watery legs.The cave walls shimmer in front of my eyes.My balance is off.I fumble for my lightsaber and activate it.

然而他施加于我的压力如此之大，我只好用瘫软的腿支撑起身体。山洞的石壁在我眼前闪烁着。我几乎就要跌倒。我摸索着自己的光剑，启动了它。

"Where is the assassin droid,Master?"I ask.My voice emerges hoarsely from thick,swollen lips.I need water.I would kill for water.

“暗杀机器人在哪里，师父？”我问。我沙哑的语句从粗重肿胀的嘴唇后流出。

My Master powers up his lightsaber."I will be your opponent."
师父开启了光剑。“你的对手是我。”

I take a step toward him.I know this is my final test.I summon up the dark side of the Force.I take all my pain and anger and form it into a tightly packed ball.I set that ball aflame in my chest.

我向他迈出一步。我知道这是我的最终考验。我唤起原力的黑暗面。我将所有的痛苦和愤怒集中为紧密的一团，将它集中在我的胸口。

I feel a trickle of strength enter me.That encourages me.I use that strength to stoke the fire inside me.
我感到力量一丝丝淌入我的身体。这鼓舞了我。我用这股力量燃烧起身体中的火焰。

"You cannot be as pathetic as you look,"my Master says.He raises his lightsaber and attacks.

“你简直比看起来还要可怜，”师父说。他举起光剑，发动攻击。

I parry the blow and reverse,come at him from the opposite side.But he is already gone by the time I am able to make my attack.The lunge throws off my balance.I weave,the cave walls blurring.He laughs.

我格挡，反击，向着他的另一侧扑去。但他在我有余力发动反击时已经闪开了。我一个趔趄失去了平衡。我蹒跚着，洞穴的石壁变得模糊不清。他大笑。

"I take it back,"he says."You are that pathetic."

“我收回前言，”他说。“你正如看起来一样可怜。”

He tells me I am weak,not worthy of being a Sith Lord.He tells me he has misjudged me.I attempt to attack him.The ball of anger inside me turns to howling rage.It is painfully obvious that he is playing with me.He can kill me in a heartbeat.Yet something in me will not accept this,even from my Master.My life force won't allow it.I struggle on,even in the face of his laughter.

他说我太弱了，不值得成为一个西斯尊主。他说他看错我了。我试图攻击他。我感到怒火中烧。很明显他在玩弄我。他能不费吹灰之力就干掉我。但我不能忍受这样的嘲讽，即使是来自我的师父，我的生命原力也不允许。我在他的嘲笑中斗争着。

He tells me that he has expected my failure.He saw my weaknesses long ago.Secretly,over the long years,he has trained another apprentice.I have not been alone.

他告诉我他早已预料到我的失败。他早就看清了我的弱小。许多年前他就秘密地训练了另一个学徒。我并不是独一无二的。

I point out,gasping,that more than one apprentice is against the rules of the Sith.

我气喘吁吁地辩解着，说徒弟多于一个违反了西斯的规矩。

"You are right,"he says."A spark of intelligence at last."

“没错，”他说。“终于变聪明点了。”

The second apprentice is on the other side of the planet.He conquered all the assassin droids sent after him.He did not sustain more than a flesh wound.He is healthy and strong.

第二个学徒就在这颗星球的另一端。他消灭了所有派来的暗杀机器人。他只受了一次伤。他健壮且强大。

"Unlike the pathetic weakling I see before me,"my Master says.

“不像我眼前这个可怜的弱者，”我的师父说。

I realize dully what this means.My opponents had not really been the droids.My opponent had been someone I had never seen.My enemy has been chosen by my Master.He will become a Sith Lord.He will receive the honor I was due.He will reap the glory I had punished my body and disciplined my mind in order to receive.

我迟钝地理解了这番话的含义。我真正的对手不是机器人。我的对手是个我从未见过的人。我的敌人被师父选中了。他将会成为一个西斯尊主。他将收获本应属于我的荣耀。他将获得我费尽千辛万苦身心俱疲才能获得的光荣。

A slow rage begins to burn through me.It is a terrible anger,no less fierce because it starts as a kernel of disbelief and then builds.I have never felt anything like it.I know it can consume me.

愤怒慢慢地开始在我心中燃烧。这是种可怕的愤怒，它以怀疑为中心逐渐辐射开来。我从未有过这样的感觉。我知道它能将我燃烧殆尽。