【中英双语】“为自己代言”： 非正式谈判的艺术
大多数有经验的管理者都知道如何应对工作中的正式谈判——与客户谈合同、与上司谈预算以及与雇主谈薪水等等。但工作中出现的非正式谈判机会呢？你知道如何发现并抓住理想的调岗机会、如何扭转被动局面，以及如何确保完成的额外工作得到认可吗？
Most seasoned managers know how to handle formal negotiations at work—with clients over contracts, with bosses over budgets, with employers over compensation. But what about all the opportunities for informal negotiations that arise? Do you know how to recognize and seize chances to move into a better role, change an untenable situation, or ensure that you get credit for extra work?
在过去35年中，我一直在研究谈判学并从事高管辅导。我发现很多人未能掌握非正式谈判技巧。看看下面的例子：
In the 35 years I’ve been studying negotiation and coaching executives, I’ve found that many people don’t. Consider the following examples:
夏洛特是一名销售经理，她听说一个区域负责人职位正空缺，希望参加竞聘。但她听说另一位同事跟部门领导很熟，现在是这个岗位的第一候选。她不知道该如何参与竞争。
Charlotte, a sales manager, learned through the grapevine that a regional role was opening up and wanted to be considered for it. But she’d also heard that another candidate, whom the division president knew well, was a front-runner for the job. She wondered how to put herself in contention.
凯文是某公司企业传播负责人，他帮助另一部门留住一家大客户，得到很高评价。很快，那个部门的同事总来找他帮忙，他不知该如何拒绝。
Kevin, a communications director, pitched in to help another division save a major client, to great acclaim. Soon colleagues in that division kept asking him to contribute. He wasn’t sure how to say no.
玛丽娜在一家大型制造企业旗下一个营收达40亿美元的事业部工作，两年前升为部门CFO，为此调到公司总部。但同行的丈夫和孩子对新生活不满意，希望回到之前的地方。她感到不得不在事业和家庭中二选一。
Marina, the CFO of a $4 billion division in a large industrial manufacturing firm, had been promoted to her job two years earlier. She’d relocated to headquarters—a requirement for taking the position—and brought her husband and children with her, but they were unhappy and wanted to move back “home.” She felt she had to choose between her job and her family.
显然，这三位职场人士（均为化名）陷入了困境。相比代表公司谈判，为自身利益谈判的感觉没那么自在，在非典型的聘任和考核情境下更是如此。感情因素显著增加；你经常弄不清楚自己真正想要什么，或不知道如何开始对话；失败带来的损失也会更大。在有些组织，自我推销的人可能被视为要得太多或不够“团结同事”。女性员工就更如此；她们常不得不为进取付出“社会成本”。而有些情况下，你所诉求的事情可能会挑战常规工作方式。
All three of these professionals (whose names have been changed) were understandably stymied. Negotiating on your own behalf can feel much less comfortable than negotiating as an agent for your company, especially when it happens outside the typical structure of a hiring or review process. More emotions are in play; it’s often difficult to figure out exactly what you want or how to get the conversation started; and failure carries a higher cost. In some organizations, advocating for yourself may be seen as being demanding or not a “team player.” This can be especially true for women, who are sometimes hit by what researchers call “the social cost of asking.” And in some cases, the very issues you want to negotiate may challenge established ways of doing work.
但在日常工作中，管理者有机会争取到更好的任务、实现更大目标，以及完成更高业绩指标，可能争取到更多资源、更高灵活度或更好待遇。如果放弃这些机会，管理者将受到损失。我发现，这些非正式谈判的重要性不亚于正式谈判。有效利用非正式谈判机会，管理者能获得更大职业成功和满足感，还可能推动组织变革。
But executives hurt themselves if they ignore everyday opportunities to push for better assignments, goals, or performance measures; more resources or flexibility; or higher compensation. I’ve found that these types of negotiations, which I call “lowercase n” negotiations, matter just as much as formal, “N” negotiations. They can drive career success and fulfillment and also have the potential to spark positive organizational change.
所以我们需要掌握进行日常非正式谈判的方法，这样不仅能收获成功，还会得到上司和同事好评。我建议管理者采取以下4个步骤：发现、准备、行动和对话。
So we all need a strategy for everyday negotiations that will allow us to come away not only successful but also still held in high regard by bosses and colleagues. I counsel those with whom I work to focus on four steps: recognize, prepare, initiate, and navigate.
发现
Recognize
谈判机会并不总是显而易见，如果你以前从未想过为自己争取什么就更是如此。但你经常会遇到一些情况，感到实在应该讨价还价一番。例如，如果违心地答应承担特殊任务或帮忙，这就是要求回报的机会。当你被要求负责一个有风险的新项目，你可以要求得到更多支持。如果你的工作量超出合理范围，占用了你和家人相处的时间，你就可以要求更多资源，或调整你的职责范围。但也要分清轻重缓急：你的个人目标对你很重要；但如果你能更投入、更高效，并带动同事提高标准，组织整体也将受益。考虑谈判时，一定要考虑整体目标。
Negotiation opportunities aren’t always obvious, especially if you’ve never thought to ask for anything in the past. But some routine situations cry out for bargaining. For example, if you say yes to a special assignment or a request for help when you want to say no, that’s an opportunity to negotiate for something in return. When you’re asked to take on a new initiative, with its attendant risks, that’s an opportunity to negotiate for support. If your workload expands beyond what’s reasonable and cuts into your family time, that’s an opportunity to negotiate for more resources or to change the scope of your role. You must pick your battles, though. The issue should be important to you, but your desired outcome should not only benefit you personally but also benefit your organization, as a result of your increased productivity and commitment and new cultural norms that allow colleagues to achieve the same. The decision to negotiate should be made with a sense of the end in mind.
起初，玛丽娜甚至没打算与上司、公司CFO罗伯特谈话，一起想办法在不影响工作的情况下让她与家人一起生活。她想到的只是各种障碍，如缺少先例、可能会遇到的阻力等，而没有设想理想情况。她在谈判开始前就退缩了。
Initially, Marina didn’t even consider talking to her boss, Robert, the company’s CFO, about an arrangement that would allow her to both keep her job and live with her family. She focused on all the obstacles—lack of precedent, presumed resistance—and never imagined an ideal scenario. She conceded the negotiation without even starting it.
凯文首先想到的是，需要明确答复那个总让自己帮忙的部门“可以”或“不可以”，而没有想到达成一个“可以，但是”的解决方案：他可以做这份额外工作，但为了完成好工作，他需要上司正式扩展他的职责范围，让他承担更大责任。
Kevin at first thought he needed to respond yes or no to the other division’s continued requests for help, rather than contrive a “yes-and” solution: Yes, he would do the work, and in order to do it well he would need his boss to officially broaden his role to include the new responsibilities.
准备
Prepare
对于任何谈判，准备工作都十分关键。但对于一场对方没有心理准备的非正式谈判，如何做准备？
Preparation is critical to any negotiation. But how can you prepare for an informal one that your counterpart isn’t expecting?
首先，收集有用信息。你越了解别人在工作中提过什么要求、哪些要求得到满足，你就会越自然地为自己争取权益。玛丽娜以为公司从未允许谁在总部以外的地点承担总部工作，但她决定去了解情况，结果发现一位高管曾因家人生病被允许远程工作6周。夏洛特经过调查了解到，那个区域负责人职位还在初选，另一位候选人并未锁定该职位。
First, gather good information.The more you know about what others have asked for and been granted at work, the more comfortable you’ll feel crafting your own negotiation. Marina didn’t think her company had ever allowed anyone to do a “headquarters job” out of another office, but she decided to check. She learned that one executive had indeed been given permission to work remotely for six weeks while he was helping to manage a family illness. When Charlotte asked around, she learned that her organization was in the early stages of considering who might fill the regional role; the other candidate didn’t yet have a lock on the job.
你还需要得到关于谈判对手的情报：他们更愿以何种方式收到消息或特殊要求？他们是否希望提早得知情况？他们希望你准备好解决方案，还是愿意和你商量？
You also need intelligence on the parties with whom you’ll be negotiating. How do they like to receive news or special requests? Do they want a lot of advance notice? Do they want you to present a solution or to develop one with you?
玛丽娜并不是罗伯特提拔的，他们一起工作不到一年，但她知道他不喜欢非常规的想法和行动，倾向于循规蹈矩、按部就班。所以她明白自己必须慢慢来，并准备遇到阻力。夏洛特同样清楚，部门总裁迈克尔已经有了青睐的人选，所以她的游说会很困难；但她尽可能了解了职位要求、迈克尔最看重的员工特质，以及他的决策风格。
Robert hadn’t hired Marina; in fact, they’d worked together for less than a year. But she knew that he tended to resist unconventional ideas and practices; he liked the usual way of doing things. So she understood that she’d have to enter her negotiation slowly and be ready for pushback. Charlotte, too, realized early on that she had an uphill climb because Michael, the division president, already had a favorite in mind, but she learned as much as she could both about the job requirements and the qualities Michael valued most in his employees and about his decision-making style.
第二，找准自身位置。在工作中，他人常常有求于我们，这构成了谈判空间。分析一下你的工作是否有助于你的谈判对手或其他同事成功，从而了解对方看重你什么，以及评估自身的重要性。玛丽娜知道罗伯特肯定她作为部门财务负责人的工作：她实现了显著利润增长，摆平了困难的工会谈判，领导了一笔重要收购，大力推动降低成本。由于罗伯特刚到公司，她还帮助他与自己部门的其他领导建立联系。这些都是她的筹码。
Second, position yourself.Interdependence gives people a reason to negotiate. So look at how your work enables your counterpart and others to succeed; that will help you discern what he or she values in you and assess yourself in a currency that matters. Marina knew that Robert appreciated the work she’d done in her divisional role. She’d achieved significant profit growth, managed a difficult labor negotiation, overseen an important acquisition, and aggressively pursued cost reductions. Since Robert was new to the company, she was also his “lifeline” to the leaders in her large division. All this gave her leverage.
还有一种方法可以帮助你分析自身的重要性，以及你和谈判对手的地位对比：罗杰·费希尔（Roger Fisher）和威廉·尤里（William Uri）在《谈判力》（Getting to Yes）中提出的“无法达成协议时的最优选择”（best alternative to a negotiated agreement，BATNA）。凯文的BATNA是停止为另一部门做额外工作，回归日常工作；他的同事和上司找不到合适的替代人选，他们的BATNA相对不利。玛丽娜的BATNA较为不利：她不想与家人分开，又不大可能在原来的地方找到同样理想的工作；但由于没有现成的理想替代人选，她上司的BATNA同样不佳。
Another way to think about your value proposition and your relative bargaining position is to consider your—and your partner’s—“best alternative to a negotiated agreement,” or BATNA (as Roger Fisher and William Ury call it in Getting to Yes). Kevin’s BATNA was to stop putting in extra time for the other division and return to his “day job”; his colleagues and boss had weaker BATNAs, because they had nobody as well suited as Kevin to do the relevant work. Marina’s BATNAs weren’t very appealing: She didn’t want to live apart from her family, and she wasn’t confident that she could find a job as good as her current one in her previous hometown. But her boss’s BATNA wasn’t good either. There were no obvious candidates who could take on her role and be as successful as she’d been.
第三，准备多个方案。谈判需要创造性。如果能提供多个解决方案，你就能吸引对方坐下来谈判。不应从自己的利益出发执着于一个方案；应当从对方角度考虑问题，寻找多赢方案。
Third, anchor with options.Negotiations require creativity. When you present many ideas, you’re framing the negotiation in a way that encourages the other party to join. You shouldn’t fixate on a single solution that works for you. Instead consider what matters to your counterpart and find multiple ways to satisfy both of you.
在准备提出方案时，你可以考虑对方可能说“不”的理由。所有谈判都会涉及这类潜在问题。
In developing options, it helps to think what good reasons your counterpart might have for saying no to an arrangement you propose. These are on the hidden agenda of any negotiation.
夏洛特收集的情报显示，迈克尔可能会认为，相比他看好的候选人，她太年轻、经验不足，可能会建议她在现在的岗位上积累更多经验。因此她提出给她一段“试用期”，看看能否完成规定的绩效指标，或者再参加一项拓展培训以提升领导技能。
Charlotte knew from her information gathering that Michael would probably balk at her youth and inexperience in comparison with his favored candidate and suggest that she needed more seasoning in her current role before taking on a new one. So she broadened her proposals to include volunteering to perform the role in an “acting” capacity for a limited period of time, with clear performance benchmarks, or taking another developmental opportunity that would put her more firmly on a leadership track.
玛丽娜很清楚，罗伯特不愿破例，可能在意灵活安排工作地点产生的额外开支，还会担心无法和她及她的团队保持紧密联系。所以她放弃了可能加重这些担忧的方案，如在原先地点工作、仅在开会时来总部，提出能够化解这些担忧的方案，如部分时间在原先地点工作、部分时间在总部工作。她还列出了可能产生的额外开支。这些准备工作不仅提升了她的信心，而且让她更能站在罗伯特的立场，与对方合作找到双赢解决方案。
Marina was sure that Robert would be concerned about breaking from precedent, the incremental expense of a flexible arrangement, and losing touch with her and her division. So she rejected ideas that would heighten those concerns—such as working from home and coming in to headquarters only for meetings—and focused on ones that would assuage them, such as splitting her time between her old divisional office and HQ. She also pulled together a spreadsheet of estimated expenses. These preparations not only boosted her confidence but also helped her appreciate Robert’s point of view and put her in the right mindset to work on a joint solution.
行动
Initiate
非正式谈判中，双方地位通常并不对等。一方想要解决问题或抓住机会，另一方则可能并非如此，希望一切照常。如何开启一场合作性而非对抗性的谈判呢？
Any two people typically feel asymmetrical desires to engage in everyday negotiations. One has a problem or sees an opportunity; the other probably doesn’t and therefore expects business as usual. How can you shift a normal interaction into a collaborative rather than combative negotiation?
首先，向对方清晰展示你的价值。当玛丽娜决定和罗伯特提起她的工作/家庭冲突时，她并未开门见山，而是先总结了近期工作、汇报了最近收购交易的新情况，然后才提出了自己的困难，并开始讨论解决方案。
Start by making your value visible. When Marina decided to approach Robert about her work-family conflict, she didn’t begin the conversation with it. She first reviewed her results since their previous meeting and updated him on a recent acquisition. Only then did she mention her problem and begin to talk about ideas for solving it.
如果对方打太极，你可以考虑几种策略。其一是搬来盟友为你游说，争取让对方愿意与你谈判。由于夏洛特和迈克尔不熟，她请另一位部门领导向迈克尔介绍她的优点和对公司的贡献。
If the other party stonewalls, you can consider various tactics. One is to round up allies who will vouch for your value and encourage the person to negotiate with you. Because Charlotte didn’t know Michael very well, she enlisted another leader in the division to extol her virtues and the contributions she was making to the company.
另一种策略是主动点出对方可能拒绝的理由，证明你从对方的立场考虑问题。通常的回应会是“没错，这正是我担心的”，这就开启了对话空间。玛丽娜使用了这种策略。她上司最合理的顾虑是他可能无法与部门保持紧密联系。为给他机会讨论这个问题，玛丽娜主动说：“我能看出你为什么有顾虑。因此，我提出的解决方案之一就是两地办公。”
Another approach is to acknowledge and address one or more of your counterpart’s good reasons for saying no to prove that you’ve thought about his or her perspective. Often the response will be “Right, this is my concern,” which opens the door to a conversation about the issue. Marina chose this path. Her boss’s most legitimate fear was that he would lose his connection to the division. So she gave him a chance to discuss it by saying, “I can see why you might be concerned about this. That’s why one of the options I thought about was dual offices.”
你也可以提及自己的BATNA，但必须留心不要让对方感觉你在威胁他。你可以说明如果不再进行对话，你的最优选择是什么；但之后要表明你不准备这么做。例如，玛丽娜可以如实告诉罗伯特她已接到猎头的电话，但马上说如果他们能找到解决方案，她很愿意留下。为让对方更明白自身的BATNA，你也可以说，“如果我们不进行这次对话，你觉得会是什么情况”，等等。
You can also introduce a BATNA, but you must do so carefully, so it’s not perceived as a threat. You might mention yours and then retract it. For example, Marina could have told Robert that she was getting calls from headhunters (which was true) but then quickly noted that she was committed to staying at the company if he and she could work out a plan. To make your counterpart more aware of his or her own BATNA, ask a question such as “What do you think will happen if we don’t have this conversation?”
对话
Navigate
说服对方开始谈判后，你需要以开放心态投入对话。你准备好的提议只是达成共识的第一步。通过问3种问题，你们双方能够找到共赢方案。
Once you’ve enticed the other party to engage in a negotiation, you must go into the conversation with an open mind. The proposals you’re prepared to offer are just starting points for an agreement. Three types of questions can help the two of you develop a plan that works for everyone.
通过提出假设测试问题，你可以提出或宽泛或具体的思路，引出对方的反应。例如，玛丽娜问罗伯特：“如果我两地办公会怎样？这是否可行？”随着讨论取得进展，她提出了更具体的问题：“我们可以共享工作日程，这样你能知道我什么时候在什么地方，这样如何？你多参加一些部门会议如何？”凯文也在与另一部门同事的对话中使用这种方法，效果很好。他问对方：“如果我不能做这项工作会怎么样？”对方说，他们将损失重大，因此答应帮助他去和上司多萝西沟通，争取正式扩大他的职责范围。
Hypothesis-testing questions start with “What if” and enable you to introduce ideas, whether broad or specific, and solicit a reaction. For example, Marina asked Robert, “What if we created dual offices? How would that work?” As the discussion progressed, she got more detailed: “What if we had a shared calendar, so you knew exactly where I would be when? What if you had the opportunity to be involved in certain divisional meetings?” Kevin, too, used this kind of question to great effect in his conversations with colleagues in the other division. When he asked, “What if I couldn’t do this work?” he learned that they would be at a complete loss and were therefore willing to support him in negotiations with his boss, Dorothy, about taking formal responsibility over work in their domain.
互惠性问题采用“如果-那么”的形式，培养谈判双方建立互惠观念。玛丽娜用这种问题与上司沟通成本问题：“如果我们同意两地办公，你有什么要求？”最终他们决定由玛丽娜承担个人搬家费用，公司承担两地往返开支。凯文对多萝西提出的问题则是，“如果我常规性地参与另一部门的工作，我希望我作为资深董事的职责范围能够扩展。”
Reciprocity questions involve if-then scenarios and build the notion of trading into the negotiation: “If I agree to do X, then what will you do?” Marina used this type of question to navigate the issue of costs with her boss: “If we agree to the dual-office arrangement, what else do you need?” Ultimately they decided that she would pay for a reverse relocation, but the company would absorb the ongoing travel expenses. When Kevin approached Dorothy, his if-then scenario was “If I work with the other division on an ongoing basis, here is how it could become part of my new and expanded senior director’s role.”
回式问题在提出建议的同时收集信息，确保对话是合作性而非对抗性的。这些问题能够突出你和谈判对手的关系，经常会带出更深层的问题。
Circular questions, which simultaneously introduce and gather information, ensure that the conversation is collaborative, not adversarial. They emphasize the relationship between you and your counterpart and often unearth deeper issues at stake.
夏洛特知道，如果直接提出申请这个职位，会将迈克尔置于尴尬的位置上。所以她提出了“这个职位的成功标准是什么”等迂回问题，这让迈克尔更深入地思考他需要什么样的人，因此让更多候选人有机会参与竞聘。玛丽娜则问罗伯特“你真正担心的是什么”，“我怎么做才能让你放心”，结果发现他担心她会觉得往返太辛苦，导致两地办公的方案失败。“我向他保证，如果发生这种情况，我们可以再商量解决办法，甚至考虑放弃两地办公，”她说，“他不会被孤立。”她同时建议新办公方案先试行6个月，之后双方共同评估结果。
Charlotte knew that simply asking for the role she wanted would put Michael in an awkward position. So she asked circular questions such as “What are the success criteria for this job?” Michael then considered more deeply what he was looking for, which opened the process up to more candidates. Marina used circular questions such as “What really concerns you?” and “What can I do to ease those concerns?” with Robert. It turned out that he feared the plan would fail because she might find the constant commuting too difficult. “I promised him that if that happened, we would work something out, even if it was an exit strategy,” she says. “He would not be left high and dry.” She also proposed that they agree to a six-month trial of the dual-office arrangement and then jointly assess the results.
上述3位高管的谈判都取得了成功。玛丽娜和家人搬回原来的地方，同时保留了现有工作。两地办公方案证明可行，所以罗伯特同意将其固定下来，创造了一个先例：高层可以不必在总部上班，而自主选择在效率最高、能为公司创造最大价值的地点工作。凯文的工作职责进行调整，增加了人手，更好地为新客户服务。夏洛特得到了区域负责人的职位，并促使迈克尔将提拔标准清晰化。
All three of these executives were successful in their negotiations. Marina and her family moved back home, but she stayed in her job. The dual-office arrangement worked, so Robert agreed to make it permanent, establishing a precedent for senior executives to be based where they could be most effective and of most value to the company—not necessarily at headquarters. Kevin’s job was restructured to include additional staff so that he could work with the new clients. Charlotte got the regional manager’s job and prompted Michael to be more explicit about the criteria used for promotion in his division.
日常谈判通常要求你离开舒适区、挑战惯常做法。但事实充分证明，无论为你自己还是为组织，主动进行日常谈判是值得的。
Everyday negotiations often require you to leave your comfort zone and challenge established practices. But all evidence indicates that they’re worth the effort—for you and for your organization.
黛博拉·科尔布是西蒙斯学院（Simmons College）管理学院女性领导力Deloitte Ellen Gabriel教席教授、荣休教授，组织与性别研究中心（Center for Gender in Organizations）共同创始人，与杰西卡·波特（JessicaL. Porter）合著有《职场谈判学》（Negotiating at Work：Turn Small Wins into Big Gains，Jossey-Bass出版社，2015）。
（王晨 | 译 刘筱薇 | 校 时青靖 | 编辑）
