【龙腾网】女人不结婚的真实理由
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原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：八大山人 转载请注明出处
Flying solo is in -- in a serious way. A New York Times Q&A with Eric Kilnenberg, NYU sociology professor and author of the new book "Going Solo," leads with the facts:
In 1950, 22 percent of American adults were single. Now that number is almost 50 percent. One in seven adults lives alone. Half of all Manhattan residences are one-person dwellings.
咱们来认真地谈一下单身的问题吧。在《纽约时报》的问答内容里，Eric Kilnenberg（纽约大学的社会学教授，新书《单身吧》的作者）列了下面的一些事实：
1950年，22%的美国成年人是单身的。现在，这个数据几乎接近50%。1/7的成年人独自居住。曼哈顿有一半的住宅是单身公寓。
Kilnenberg has done his research. He spent a decade studying the phenomenon while working on his book, and he has all kinds of good explanations for those numbers. There's less stigma than there once was around being single. People crave privacy and personal space -- tough to preserve when you're sharing a bathroom.
Kilnenberg对此做了研究。他在写书过程中，花了十来年研究这种现象，对于这些数据，他做了各种解读。单身已不像以前那样让人感觉耻辱，人们渴望拥有隐私和个人空间――假如跟别人共享一个浴室的话，这些就难以保证了。
In another piece published several weeks ago, Kilnenberg wrote:
几个星期前，Kilnenberg在他另一篇出版的文章中写道：
Living alone comports with modern values. It promotes freedom, personal control and self-realization -- all prized aspects of contemporary life.
单身生活符合现代的价值观，促进了自由、个人管理和自我实现的发展――这些，被看作是现代生活中很宝贵的方面。
And Kilnenberg's not the only one digging in. Melanie Kurtin enumerated what keeps her from committing here and Dominique Browning did so here, while Kate Bolick's much-discussed piece in The Atlantic, "All the Single Ladies," began with a simple confession:
Kilnenber不是唯一一个对此进行深入研究的人。Melanie Kurtin列举了她从事这个研究的原因，而Dominique Browning亦对此做了研究，Kate Bolick在《大西洋月刊》有大量讨论，她的《单身女士们》，以一段简单的告白开始：
Too many options applies to commitment of the romantic sort, sure, but also to jobs and where we should live and what kind of life we should have. Passion or paycheck? Security or freedom? Long hair or short? High heels or hiking boots?
当然，对于浪漫，有太多的选项可以承担责任，但还有对于工作，对于居住，对于我们应该拥有的生活。选择激情还是薪水？安全还是自由？长发还是短发？高跟鞋还是登山鞋？
Deciding, by definition, means "to kill." Choosing one thing means you're killing the possibility of having the other. And when we're raised on the idea that anything's possible -- and every option is available -- we see choosing anything as settling. And, of course, it is -- it's settling for something less than everything.
“做决定”其实就是“扼杀”。选择一样东西，意味着你扼杀了另一样东西的可能性。当我们想到任何事情的可能性时――每种选项都是可能的――我们把选择任何事情看作是一定的。当然，只是一些，并非所有。
When you decide to take one path, there's a risk of missing out on something -- something we often imagine to be glorious, the proverbial greener grass -- waiting for us at the end of another. As Hannah, a woman we profiled in Undecided, put it:
当你决定选择一条路时，就有风险要错失其它的一些东西，一些我们常常想象得很美好的东西，在路的另一头等着我们的――譬如一个叫汉娜的女人。
The grass is always greener. Like, do I want to move to San Francisco? Colorado? South America? Will life be any better in any of those places? Probably not. But it might be, so there's that risk that I'm taking by not moving.
例如，我要搬去旧金山，科罗拉多，还是南美？如果在其它地方，生活会不会更好？可能并不是，但有可能是，因此，有风险，我还是不搬了。
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原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：八大山人 转载请注明出处
Summer77
Well Actully my daughter want to remind single for now because as she tells me she has her own place makes good money and likes her freedom to travel. She often tells me that most of the guys she meets are too immature and still living at home to her that somehow translates as a man who is some what dependent and has not cut the apron strings yet, Unless is a economic reason like he has just lost his job with the bad economy she stays clear of them.
嗯，其实，我女儿目前想要独身，她告诉我说，她想要有自己的空间，好好赚钱，她喜欢自由旅行。她经常跟我说，她认识的大多数男的都太幼稚，而且还跟父母一起住，作为一个男的，还要依赖，还没有断奶，除非是因为经济原因，例如刚刚失业。 她避开那些男人。
dominavontana
so you're saying women are unable to make a decision because there's too many choices and THATS why we're single? that seems to echo similar sentiments from the early 20th century regarding women's autonomy and decision making power - basically that we had none and NEEDED to rely on a man in charge to move forward in life, love and career. and now your saying we're still the SAME just this time without the man? Not fair or true. Maybe if you were 28 instead of middle age you could see this revolution ary phenomenon for what it truly is - an epic new way of life. I completely disagree with your base line sentiment that women can't make a decision when too many options are presented. by the way, that thesis is about a decade old any way and in the age of rapid expansion of ideas and electronic communicat ion that makes your belief even more out dated. I believe women are totally capable of making decisions and commitment s. We are not hanging on for the next adventure, we are totally enthralled in the now - a space that doesn't require us to look to marriage as the ultimate conveyor of our position or status in society. We are free to make our own choices, and NOT choosing is just as valid a choice as to choose.
你是说女人因为有太多选择而无法做决定所以才要单身的？这说法似乎是回应20世纪初的关于妇女自主和决策权的呼声，那时，女人基本上什么都没有，在生活、爱情和事业上，需要依靠男人来过活。现在，你还说我们还是跟那时一样的，只是不用男人了？这不公平也不是事实。或许，假如你是28岁而不是中年人，你会看到这种革命性现象――史诗般的新生活。我完全不同意你的基本观点，说女人在很多选择面前无法做抉择。顺便说下，这篇文章的观点是十年前的了，在这样一个思想、电子通讯高速发展的时代里，你的想法反而更过时了。我相信女人完全是能够做抉择的和承诺的。我们的坚持不是为了下一次的冒险，而是，我们完全是因为迷恋于现在――在现在这个社会，我们最终的社会地位不会让我们只能指望于我们的婚姻。我们可以自由地做选择，不选择结婚跟选择结婚，是一样的。
DWAYNE CORREA （回复楼上）
So true, so true.
说的是事实，很对。
Catothemuchyounger
Translatio n: "women (and men too) are afraid to have a real, adult life." Because if real adult lives, you don't have it all. You have to make choices, and live with them.
即是“女人（男人也是）害怕过上现实的成年人生活。” 因为如果过现实的成年人生活，无法鱼和熊掌兼得，只能做出选择。
Jewels99 （回复楼上）
We all make choices everyday whether conscious or unconsciou s. The adult (mature) part comes in when its conscious not whether you have a spouse.
我们每天都在做选择，不管是有意识还是无意识的。是否成年人（即是否成熟）取决于思想而不是是否有一个配偶。
MikeDu
Theoretica lly people marry for a *reason*, not simply because its the default setting on the dial. Couples used to marry for the thirty year home mortgage, until the housing market fell through. They used to marry for the benefit of combined paychecks until the significan t other got layed off. There's still a strong argument for marrying for the partner's company health insurance plan. I expect the people who are desperate to be married aren't in it for romantic notions but are starting to find single life increasing ly *inconveni ent*.
理论上来说，人们结婚是因为某个“理由”，不是简单为了结婚而结婚。结婚的人通常是因为30年的住房贷款，直到房地产市场崩溃。他们通常是因为两份薪水的好处结婚，直到贡献大的那方下岗。还有一个很大的结婚原因，那就是配偶的公司医保。我认为那些不顾一切结婚的人们不是因为浪漫的想法，而是开始发现单身生活越来越“不方便”。
RealistBC （回复楼上）
With employers increasing ly dumping their health care plans, even that will cease to be a reason to marry.
随着越来越多的老板不提供医保，又一个结婚的理由没了。
choctawwritergirl
There is a great flaw in your article and that is, that the masses of women you seem to speak for DO NOT have either the MEANS, RESOURCES nor the OPPORTUNIT IES to make these LEGIONS of CHOICES you falsely believe are available to all -- all really meaning the upper middle classs and the wealthy.
The vast majority of young women and girl are overwhelmi ngly born into families where too few choices are available to them on any level including and especially education, career choice and upward mobility of any kind.
Perhaps you would do well to visit www.census .gov and glean the info there on the economic/e ducational state of US citizenry, then go back and REVISE YOUR WORK.
你的文章有一个很大的问题，很多女人并没有谋生手段、资源，也没有机会来做这一大堆的选择，你错误地认为所有女人都是有很多选择的――你所说的只是上层的中产阶级和有钱人。 很大部分的年轻女孩出生在对她们来说并没有多少选择的家庭里，没有教育、职业选择和各种各样向上进取的选择。 你去看看www.census .gov，这个网站里有关美国公民经济/教育的信息，看完也许你能分析得好些，回去修改你的文章吧。
Payton Powell （回复楼上）
All other responses to this article are based upon biased feelings and beliefs, this is the only critical response that avoids these follies and addresses it's class and racial bias.
这篇文章的其它回贴基本上都是基于感觉和信念的偏见，而你这是唯一不是讽刺和地域偏见的批评回贴，而是阶级和种族偏见的回贴。
sculptingman （回复楼上）
You miss the point... The author saying that these choices exist only in the mind. Women are told they can have it all... But not that opening any door closes another
In experiment s with mice, they set up a simple either or choice, with a tasty drink on one side of the enclosure, or a tasty treat on the other...th e dispensers rigged such that choosing one, disables the other.
You have to put the mouse in this situation multiple times before they realize that picking one, costs them the other.
You know how they can tell when the mouse figures it out?
Because when he realizes that choosing closes his options, he just sits in the middle of the cage and picks neither.
He gets no treat, no drink... The only thing he gets is the illusion of still having both.
你没有抓住要点…作者是说这些选择只是凭空想象的。女人们以为都拥有…但不是开了一扇门，另一扇就会关闭。做一个小白鼠的实验，让它们做一个简单的二选一的选择，一边是美味的饮料，另一边是美味的食物…医生操作，选择一个，就得放弃另一个。 你得把这个老鼠实验做很多次，它们才知道如果选择一个，就得放弃另一个。 你知道他们怎么分辨出老鼠已经弄明白这个道理吗？ 因为当他意识到选择一个，就得放弃另一个时，它只是坐在笼子中间，哪个都没有选。 不选食物，也不选饮料…它选的唯一的东西就是拥有这两样东西的幻想。
Sammie55 Marriage is a wonderful thing. But it's NOT for everyone.
Instead of whining about the "other half" ruining it, just suck it up. You're not right for it...
Move on 婚姻是很棒的，但不是适合所有的人。 不要抱怨“另一半”毁了婚姻，忍耐吧。你说的不对… 要往前看
Cindy Pardy
I would never get married again! Sorry I did in the first place.
我再也不会结婚！不好意思，我早结过了。
RealistBC
And now the Republican s want married people to abstain from sex, so what good reason is there to get married?
现在共和党人想要结婚的人戒掉性爱，那还有什么好理由来结婚？
