Blaming is easy. People don't hear ou...

承前摘要：

what's going on in their hearts心里的想法

the stuff in their heads头脑里的东西

keep on pouring out sadness and frustration继续倾倒悲伤和沮丧

feel understood感觉被理解

feel a lot of anger, a lot of frustration, sadness and discouragement

have different experiences with Jews/ Jewish people

want you to have much more the kind of experiences

以下是a conversation in the cab

"Excuse me, hold on, hold it. Can you tell me what you heard me say?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me repeat what I'm trying to say. I felt a sense of sadness."

"You're saying I have no right to talk the way I did."

"I really don't want to blame you. I have no desire to blame you."

以下是录屏内容：

I intended to slow down the conversation, because in my experience, to whatever degree people hear blame, they have failed to hear our pain. If this man said, " Those were terrible things for me to say; those were racist remarks I made," he would not have heard my pain.

As soon as people think that they have done something wrong, they will not be apprehending our pain. I didn't want him to hear blame, because I wanted him to know what had gone on in my heart when he uttered his remarks.

Blaming is easy. People are used to hearing blame; sometimes they agree with it and hate themselves--which doesn't stop them from behaving the same way--and sometimes they hate us for calling them racists or whatever--which also doesn't stop their behavior. If we sense blame entering their mind, as I did in the cab, we may need to slow down, go back and hear their pain for a while more.