【中英双语】什么样的同事关系，能够成就你的职业生涯？
When to Cooperate with Colleagues and When to Compete
兰德尔·彼得森（Randall S. Peterson）克里斯汀·贝法尔（Kristin J. Behfar）｜文
There are dangers in all workplace relationships—not just those in which conflict or competition is pronounced but also ones where you’re happily collaborating with someone or able to work largely independently of each other. That’s because the parties involved always have differing agendas, which will never be 100% compatible and may diverge even more over time.
职场中的各种关系都隐藏着风险——不仅是存在明显冲突或竞争的关系，还有那些你很乐于与之合作，或者在很大程度上能够彼此独立开展工作的关系。因为不同利益相关方总有不同的日程安排，这些日程并不能永远保持一致，随着时间的推移可能会有更多分歧。
We’ve studied cooperative rivalries on the job for more than 25 years and found that the way professionals handle them can make or break their careers. We have seen how easy it is to view relationships as simply negative or positive. Virtually all are a mix of both and require careful thought to manage. To do so effectively, you must first understand where you and your colleagues fall on the conflict-collaboration spectrum.
我们研究工作中的合作竞争关系已超过25年。结果发现，职场人士应对它的方式可以成就或毁掉他们的职业生涯。将工作中的关系简单视为消极或积极很容易，但职场关系几乎都是两者的结合，需要仔细考虑才能进行管理。要想有效做到这一点，你必须首先了解自己和同事在冲突-协作范围中的位置。
Once you’ve figured out the type of relationship you and your colleague have, you can use various tactics to manage it. That requires you to step back from the existing emotional and behavioral dynamics and carefully analyze your situation. Consider how your disparate and mutual interests align with the goals of your organization. Ask yourself what is in it for you and what is in it for the other person. How do his or her interests create risk for you? What can you tolerate, and what must you prevent? And how can you ensure that the benefits of working together are realized?
一旦弄清楚你与同事之间的关系类型，你就可以运用各种策略进行管理。这就要求你从现有的情绪和行为动态中退后一步，仔细分析个人情况。考虑你的多元化利益和共同利益如何与组织的目标保持一致。问问自己，它能给你和对方带来哪些好处？对方的利益会给你带来何种风险？你可以容忍到哪一步，又必须防止哪些方面？你要如何保证合作带来的益处？
Conflict
冲突
In an outright conflict your counterpart is trying to take something that you want or need. It is a zero-sum relationship that ends when one party wins and the other loses the sought-after reward, such as a promotion or a plum assignment. Consider Jim and Jane, who are both being considered for a senior managing director position at a large private wealth-management firm. (All the case studies in this article are hypothetical but are drawn from various real scenarios we have studied.) Jane has worked for months to cultivate a prospective client, and if she succeeds, it could be a deciding factor in whether she gets promoted. She learns from a junior associate that Jim is also trying to land this high-net-worth individual, even though he knows that Jane is already in pursuit. He’s done this before, which is why she has grown to loathe him.
在直接冲突中，对手会试图拿走你期望或需要的东西。这是一种零和关系，只有一方获得奖励而另一方失去时，例如升职或美差，这种关系才会结束。以吉姆和简为例。他们是一家大型私人财富管理公司高级常务董事候选人。几个月来，简一直在争取一个潜在客户。如果她成功了，这可能成为她升职的决定性因素。她从一位初级助理那里得知，吉姆也在努力赢得这位高净值人士，尽管他知道简已经在和对方联系。他以前就这样做过，所以简越来越讨厌他。
If Jane ignores the situation, Jim will no doubt press on. If he wins the account, he’s unlikely to share any of the credit. Her peers and subordinates might then lose respect for her for not taking steps to protect herself, given that Jim’s predatory behavior is widely known. But if she directly confronts Jim, it could force others to take sides, and she might find herself abandoned by colleagues who fear retaliation from Jim, want to be on the winning side, think that she’s the one being petty, or have concern only for the firm’s bottom line.
如果简忽视这个情况，吉姆无疑会变本加厉。如果他赢得了这个客户，他不太可能分享任何成果。鉴于吉姆的掠夺行为广为人知，简的同事和下属可能会因为她无法自保而失去对她的尊重。但是，如果简与吉姆直接对抗，可能会迫使其他人选择站队。害怕吉姆报复、想要支持胜利一方、认为简很小气或只关心公司底线的同事可能会选择抛弃她。
To manage the situation, Jane will need to figure out the best way to fight back without burning bridges. That requires emotional maturity and discipline. She can start by considering her counterpart’s strengths. (You need to know your enemy well and even acknowledge why he might be hard to beat.) What might the client value in Jim that Jane doesn’t have, and what could she do to change this? She also needs to revisit the importance of the issue in contention. Is the deal really vital to her promotion? Next she should consider workarounds or countermoves. Perhaps she could let Jim take this win and project her worth to senior leadership in other ways. Or if she determines that landing this client is key to her advancement, she could reach out to some of Jim’s prospects and use that as leverage in a discussion about how she and Jim could create and abide by boundaries. In a conflict relationship you need to be clear about what you must protect and what’s not possible, given the circumstances. Confrontation is both necessary and costly, so work closely with allies and do not engage your rival alone.
为了处理这个情况，简需要在保证后路的前提下找出最佳的反击方法。这需要在情感上成熟自律。她可以首先考虑对方的优势。（你要非常了解自己的对手，甚至承认他可能很难被击败。）哪些客户价值可能是吉姆具备但简缺乏的？她可以作出哪些补救？她还需要重新审视这个问题在竞争中的重要性。这笔交易对她的晋升的重要性。接下来，她应该考虑变通办法或者对抗措施。也许她可以让吉姆赢得这场胜利，转而以其他方式将自己的价值展现给高层领导。如果她确定赢得该客户是她晋升的关键，她可以接触吉姆的一些潜在客户，以此作为筹码，与吉姆讨论双方应该如何制定并遵守一定的界限。在冲突关系中，你需要根据具体情况明确取舍。对抗很有必要，但是代价很大，因此要与盟友密切合作，千万不要独自冲上战场。
Competition
竞争
This type of rivalry is very common in workplaces where pay and opportunities are routinely allocated by assessing and comparing the performance of employees. You and your colleague want the same things, but supply is limited. Unlike an outright win-or-lose conflict, competitive situations offer some flexibility, because value can still be found in other, albeit less attractive, options.
在工作场所中，薪酬和机会分配一般通过评估和比较员工绩效进行，因此这种类型的竞争非常普遍。你和同事想得到同样的东西，但资源有限。与赤裸裸的非输即赢的冲突不同，竞争环境提供了一些灵活性，因为仍然可以在其他选择中找到价值，尽管那些价值吸引力较小。
Consider Michael and Ellen, who’ve been asked by their boss to colead a priority project: developing their company’s new diversity, equity, and inclusion plan. Success or failure on the assignment will have an impact on the career trajectories of both of them. Michael would like to work cooperatively with Ellen but is deeply skeptical that he’ll be able to do so, since she has a reputation for throwing colleagues under the bus in difficult situations. While he’s confident that they can produce good ideas together, he worries that when they present their recommendations to their superiors, Ellen will insinuate that the best-received ones are hers and the more-controversial ones his.
来看迈克尔和艾伦的例子。老板要求他们共同负责一个重点项目：制定公司全新的多样性、平等和包容计划。项目的成败将影响两人的职业发展。迈克尔愿意与艾伦合作，但对他不确定自己是否可以和她合作，因为艾伦素有对同事落井下石的不良名声。虽然他相信合作可以产生好想法，但他又担心，当他们向高层领导提出建议时，艾伦会暗示最受欢迎的想法是她提出的，而更有争议的则是自己提出的。
Michael has several risks to consider when formulating a strategy for dealing with Ellen. If he raises his concerns at the outset, she’s likely to view it as an attack or dismiss him as paranoid, since she hasn’t done anything wrong yet. If he simply works with her in good faith, he may face the lopsided outcome he fears: her taking all the credit for good work and blaming him for any stumbles. If he takes a page out of her previous playbook and tries to secretly compete with her, using less-than-honest tactics—withholding key information, for example—he might develop a reputation just as bad as hers.
在制定与艾伦打交道的策略时，迈克尔需要考虑几个风险。如果他一开始就提出自己的担忧，艾伦很可能会认为这是一种攻击，或者认为他是一个偏执狂而不予理会，因为她还没有任何不好的举动。如果他只是真诚地与艾伦合作，他可能会面临自己担心的不平衡结果：艾伦会将所有功劳归结于自己的出色工作，而将失误归咎于他。如果他效仿艾伦以前的做法，使用不诚实的策略——例如隐瞒关键信息，并试图与她进行秘密竞争，他可能会树立与她一样的不佳口碑。
The right move in cases like this one is to recognize where your goals and your rival’s are compatible and where they’re not and work from there to improve the odds of good outcomes while minimizing unwanted ones. For example, neither Michael nor Ellen wants this project to fail, and both are committed to enhancing DEI at their company. In every conversation with her, he will want to emphasize those shared goals and the importance of achieving them as a team. Perhaps he can rein in her competitive behavior by eliminating scenarios in which she might be tempted to undermine him. One option would be to get her to agree to create an ad hoc review committee with members from multiple departments to provide feedback and endorse the final recommendations. Or maybe he could persuade her that their bosses—instead of them—should present the results. By recognizing what drives a rivalry, those in it can find a way to reduce competition.
在这种情况下，正确的做法是弄清楚你和竞争对手的目标哪些具有一致性，并且以此开始努力，提高获得良好结果的几率，同时最大限度减少不必要的目标。例如，迈克尔和艾伦都不希望这个项目失败，并且都致力于提高公司的DEI指数（DEI是多样性Diversity、平等Equity和包容性Inclusion的缩写——译者注）。在与艾伦的每一次谈话中，迈克尔都想要强调共同目标以及作为一个团队实现这些目标的重要性。通过消除可能被艾伦试图用于逐渐削弱他的场景，也许他可以约束艾伦的竞争行为。一种选择是让艾伦同意成立一个由多部门成员组成的特设审查委员会，提供反馈意见并支持最终建议。或者也许他可以说服艾伦，应该由老板来展示成果，而不是他们自己。通过认识到竞争的推动因素，竞争者可以找到减少竞争的方法。
Independence
独立性
In the middle of the spectrum is independence, which entails deliberately reducing your reliance on others as much as possible—evading the problem rather than trying to fix it. Consider Scott, who felt that his colleague Nigel often bullied him. To avoid having to deal with Nigel, Scott got his boss to restructure their respective responsibilities so that they would interact less frequently—just in formal meetings when the rest of the team was present.
表格的中间是独立性。这需要有意识地尽可能减少对他人的依赖，不能规避问题而要试图解决问题。以斯科特为例，他觉得同事奈杰尔经常欺负他。为了避免与奈杰尔打交道，斯科特让老板重新划分了他们各自的职责范围，这样他们就可以减少互动和交流——仅在团队其他成员都参加的正式会议上见面。
One challenge with this approach is that it is difficult to maintain over the long term. Scott should consider how he will behave if circumstances change and he suddenly has to reengage with Nigel. Another is that avoiding Nigel might also isolate Scott from potential allies who could help him perform his job better—teammates who think he’s being noncollegial and is putting his own interests above the group’s. Given those dangers, we don’t highly recommend this approach. Instead, people in Scott’s situation should consider treating the relationship as a conflict or a competition.
这种方法面临的一个挑战是难以长期维持。斯科特应该考虑，如果情况改变，他突然不得不重新与奈杰尔接触，他该如何应对？另一个挑战是，避开奈杰尔可能也会导致斯科特与可能帮助他更好完成工作的潜在盟友，以及认为他不合群并将个人利益置于团队利益之上的队友——隔离开来。鉴于这些危险，我们不是很推荐这种方法。相反，面临斯科特这种情况的人应该将这种关系视为冲突或者竞争。
Cooperation
合作
In a cooperative relationship you and your counterpart share key interests but also have separate ones, so you choose to work together on specific issues where your interests do align and not to compete where they don’t. That doesn’t require you to like or make any material or long-term investments in each other. It’s just a mutually beneficial transaction in which each party brings something to the table.
在合作关系中，你和对手有共享的关键利益，也拥有不同利益，因此你可以选择在你们确实具有一致利益的特定问题上进行合作，在没有共同利益的问题上不进行竞争。你们不需要彼此喜欢，或进行任何物质或长期投资。这只是一个互惠互利的交易，各方都提供了一些有价值的东西。
Take Mohammed and Roberto, peers tasked with an assignment beyond their normal responsibilities: pooling their expertise on BRIC countries to produce an economic forecast for their organization, which sells research and analysis to corporate clients. Both will benefit if the report attracts media attention, draws new subscribers to their company’s regular annual forecast, and builds the firm’s credibility and standing.
以穆罕默德和罗伯托为例。他们共同承担了一项超出了正常职责范围的任务：将他们关于金砖国家（BRIC）的专业知识汇集起来，为组织做出经济预测，从而向企业客户销售他们的研究结果和分析。如果报告能够引起媒体关注，吸引新的用户来订阅他们公司的定期年度预测，并建立公司的信誉和地位，他们都将受益匪浅。
The risks here are much lower than in relationships where partners are in conflict or competition. The main danger stems from the fact that things can change. For example, if Mohammed suddenly gets a time-intensive opportunity to work directly with the CEO of an important client in his region, he will have to decide whether to take it and reduce his commitment to the project with Roberto. To deal with such unplanned circumstances, Mohammed and Roberto might agree at the outset of their relationship to a set of reasons for reducing or ending their commitment to the project and pledge to give each other a certain amount of advance notice should they do so.
这种关系中的风险远低于合作伙伴发生冲突或者竞争的关系。主要的危险源于事情可能会发生变化。例如，如果穆罕默德突然获得了一个很费时间的机会，可以与他所在地区的一个重要客户的CEO直接合作，他将不得不决定是否接受这个机会，并减少在与罗伯托合作项目中的责任。为了应对这些意外情况，穆罕默德和罗伯托可能会在合作开始就达成一致：出于某些原因，可以减少或终止他们对项目的责任，并承诺在他们需要这样做时提前一定时间通知对方。
Collaboration
通力合作
Collaboration happens when two parties have many key mutual interests and would both benefit from investing in the relationship to help each other. This is the situation that Sara and Maryam found themselves in when their respective employers assigned them to colead a small pilot venture that paired the coach-client matching technology of Sara’s firm with the deep coaching experience and client list of Maryam’s company. The assignment entailed creating new shared processes for managing coaches, soliciting clients, and ensuring there would be joint accountability if something went wrong. The work promised to be hard but enjoyable; they’d both learn new things and build a venture that neither firm could have created alone.
如果双方有许多关键的共同利益，并且投资于这种关系可以使双方受益，通力合作就会发生。当萨拉和玛利亚姆各自的雇主指派他们共同领导一个小型试点企业时，他们就处于这样一种关系。该企业将萨拉所在公司的教练-客户匹配技术与玛利亚姆所在公司的深厚教练经验和客户名单结合起来。这项任务需要创建新的共享流程来管理教练、招揽客户，并且确定在出现问题时由双方共同承担责任。这项工作可能非常艰巨，但却令人感到愉快；他们都要学习新事物，并且有望建立起两家公司无法单独创建的企业。
While such relationships feel psychologically safe and promise the most mutual gain, they are the hardest to disengage from if interests change, because the parties’ resources are intermingled. So at the outset Sara and Maryam should be cautious and take the time to understand their respective commitments—and those of their organizations—to the endeavor. That should include developing detailed plans for different scenarios, outlining their implications for each coleader and how they will be handled. For example, what happens if one company wants to pull back and the other wants to move forward, becomes the dominant backer, and insists that its person run the venture? Would the other party be willing to stick it out in a secondary role? Or if one company takes over the project and wants Sara and Maryam to continue to colead, would they both be willing?
虽然这种关系会给予人安全感，并且承诺最大程度的互惠互利，但是如果利益发生变化，他们的脱离难度最大，因为双方的资源已整合在一起。因此，萨拉和玛利亚姆从一开始就应该小心谨慎，花费一定的时间了解他们各自以及所在组织应该对这项工作承担的责任。这应该包括为不同的场景制定详细的计划，概述对每位共同领导者产生的影响以及相应措施。例如，如果一家公司想要退出，而另一家公司想要成为主要资助者，并且坚持由其派出的代表来经营该企业，这时该怎么办？另一方会愿意继续充当次要角色吗？或者，如果一家公司接手了这个项目，希望萨拉和玛利亚姆继续共同领导，他们会愿意吗？
We all navigate a range of cooperative rivalries at work. Understanding and figuring out how to optimize each of them is crucial. The solution is not to find positive relationships and avoid negative ones. You must recognize that conflict and competition inevitably arise among interdependent coworkers but can still be managed in ways that reap rewards; that while independence might seem like a solution it is rarely, if ever, a panacea; and that your goals and your work partners’ will evolve over time. Career success depends on relationship management as much as any other skill. Get it right, and both you and your organization will benefit.
我们在工作中都需要应对一系列的合作竞争。理解并弄清楚如何优化它们至关重要。解决方法并不是寻找积极关系，避免消极关系。我们要认识到，相互依赖的同事之间不可避免会出现冲突和竞争，但是我们仍然可以获得回报；保持独立似乎是可行，但也不是长久之计；你和合作伙伴的目标将随着时间的推移而发展，事业有成不仅取决于其他技能，同样取决于关系管理。如果做法得当，你和组织都将受益。
关键词：职场
兰德尔·彼得森是领导力研究所（Leadership Institute）的创始主任，也是伦敦商学院的组织行为学教授。他与格里·布朗（Gerry Brown）合著有《董事会中的灾难：每个人都应该了解的六种功能障碍》（Disaster in the Boardroom: Six Dysfunctions Everyone Should Understand）（Palgrave Macmillan出版，2022年）。克里斯汀·贝法尔是伦敦商学院的客座教授。
陈战 | 译 孙燕 | 校 腾跃 | 编辑
