【恋爱指南】不要为了错的人妥协——Matthew Hussey

不要把这个人看成不变量（stick on the one - 这个人是我命中之人, create a kind of static image of a person, this person is right for me, I really like this person），把其他的东西（例如他的行为、你对恋爱的标准）看成变量，而要把自己的恋爱标准、自己的boundary，看成不变量，如果这个人触犯了，那么，他可能不是对的人。

We're no longer qualifying that based on what's actually happening, we've decided on our mind. So now what we're trying to do is make reality fit to the vision that we have in our mind...

To make our vision for the kind of person we want to be with the more static part of the equation. That doesn't mean it never changes of we don't update our vision. The fluid part is the behavior we witness in somebody else. If you do that, then when someone doesn't communicate well with you, when someone decides for a week to just go off the radar, and not text you or not call you; when someone treats you badly, or just starts ignoring you, ghosting you, you don't then tell yourself, "oh, the love of my life is ghosting me", you start to say, "oh, they're ghosting me, so I don't think they're the love of my life."