【龙腾网】你家邻居有没有因一些愚蠢荒谬的事报警举报过你？
正文翻译
Have your neighbors ever called the cops on you for something ridiculous?
你家邻居有没有因一些愚蠢荒谬的事报警举报过你？
评论翻译
<1> Sandy Mau
It was the summer of 2008. I was in bed, asleep, when I heard insistent knocking on our front door. I slogged downstairs to open the door, and found two police cars outside. Two police officers said that a neighbor had phoned in a break in at my house, and the police asked if I knew a “Brad,” which was the name of my 18 year old daughter’s boyfriend. I said that I knew him and looked around for him. Then, I discovered that the police had him in the front of the house. He looked scared to death. I told Brad to come in the house.
那是2008年夏。当时我还搁儿床上睡觉呢，突然听到前门传来一阵急促的敲门声。我睡眼惺忪地慢慢走下楼开门，然后发现门外停了两辆警车。那两名警察说，我一邻居报警称有人闯入我家，问我认不认识一个叫“布拉德”的人，我18岁女儿的男朋友就叫这名。我说我认识他，环顾四周寻找他的身影。然后我发现警察把他拘在我家前面。他一脸吓坏了的样子。我就叫布拉德进屋来。
The police were unsure what to do and stood arguing on my porch. One officer said that I had to sign an affidavit, saying that I knew Brad. The other said that I was the homeowner and didn’t have to sign anything.
这下警察他们不知道接下来该做什么了，两人就站在我家门廊上吵了起来。一位警官说我必须签署份书面陈述，表明我认识布拉德。另一位警察则说我就是屋主，我不需要签署任何东西。
Once the police left, Brad told me that his father had dropped him off earlier in the morning and my daughter, who had the flu, had told him that she’d leave a lawn chair outside for him, until she had gotten up, not letting me know. While Brad was sitting in the backyard, listening to the birds, our neighbor had come out and took a real hard look at him. Shortly after that the police confronted Brad in our backyard. He’d encountered the police before, and knew to move slowly and tell the police what he was doing before he made a move.
警察一走，布拉德就告诉我说，他爸今早早些时候把他送到了这里，而我那得了流感的女儿告诉他说，她会在外面留把躺椅给他让他等她起床，但没告诉我这事。所以当布拉德坐在我家后院听着鸟鸣静等时，我家邻居出来过一次，冷眼认真看了他一眼。随后不久，警察就在我们家后院与布拉德对峙了。他以前碰到过警察，知道举止不能突兀要慢，而且在行动之前要提前告知警察。
Edit: Thank you for all the upvotes, I had no idea that this would resonate with so many people. My neighbor is male and still lives near us.
另注：谢谢大家的点赞，我完全没想到这会引起那么多人的共鸣。我的邻居是名男性，现在仍住在我家附近。
<2> Shannon Nealey
All the time.
一直有的事。
Now, there was no way that I was going to give my address to some random person, and I didn’t feel the need to prove my residency to her, so I ignored her. She threatened to call the police, and I just shrugged. So, she called them.
呵，我当然不可能随便告诉个陌生人我家在哪啊，而且我不觉得自己有必要向她证明我的住户资格，所以我无视了她。她威胁说要报警，对此我耸肩表示你随意。然后，她就打电话报了警。
The police arrived, and she ran to meet them, screaming that I didn’t belong there and I had to leave.
I didn’t budge
警察一到，她就冲到他们面前，尖声喊说我不属于这儿，我必须离开啥的。对此，我丝毫没有让步。
The pool is right next to the rental office. The property manager saw the police and immediately came out to find out what was going on. The white resident was screeching that I was trespassing and refused to leave. At this point, the property manager confirmed that I do, in fact, live there.
游泳池就在物业办公室旁。物业经理看到警察来了，马上跑出来看发生了啥事。那个白人居民还搁那儿尖声喊说我非法闯入，拒绝离开啥的。这时，物业经理便向他们证实，我确实住在这里。
One of the officers questioned me. “Why didn’t you just say that you lived here? It could have saved us a lot of time.”
其中一名警察就问我：“你刚为什么不说你住这儿啊？这样我们就不用白跑了一趟不是。”
Some time later, I was sitting in front of my apartment, in my car, which was in my assigned space. The cops arrived and demanded that I got out of the car and that they received a report of a “suspicious person” in the area. They asked for permission to search my car, and I refused. Of course, they came back with the, “If you don’t have anything to hide, you have nothing to worry about,” line, and I simply asserted my rights, which didn’t go over very well.
过了一段时间，我当时把车停在公寓前我的专属停车位上，然后人坐在车里来着。警察突然来了，要求我下车，说他们接到举报说该地区有个“可疑人员”。他们要求搜查我的车，我没让。对此，他们当然搬出了，“如果你没藏着掖着什么，你就没什么好担心的”这句话，我则简单陈述了下我所有的权利，但这做法显然并无益处。
I placed a call to the property manager, who came over immediately. He confirmed that I was a resident and that I was parked in the space assigned to my unit. I simply grabbed my things out of my car and went upstairs to my apartment.
我给物业经理打了个电话，他很快就赶来了。向警察证明了我是这里的住户，且我车停在了分配给我的停车位上。然后我就拿上自己的东西下了车，上楼回自个儿公寓去了。
A few months later, the cops came back out because they received a call of a burglary in progress. Someone spotted me going in and out of my apartment and found that to be suspicious. Yeah, because all burglars break in and leave groceries, right?
几个月后，警察又来了，说他们接到了一起举报入室行窃中的电话。称有人看见我进进出出我的公寓，觉得我形迹很可疑。是啊，因为全天下所有的小偷都是入室后偷袋食品杂货就走了，对吧？
The property manager had to come out yet again and confirm that I was a resident and lived in the unit in question. I was just done at this point. I think that the property manager knew who it was; about two weeks later, I saw the moving truck near my building and one of the residents moved out.
Once they were gone, I had no more problems after that.
物业经理只能又赶过来，向警察证明我是这里的住户，就住在那个说有小偷行窃的公寓单元房里。我那时觉得真是受够这种事了。我觉得物业经理也知道这一切都是谁搞的鬼；大概两周后，我在公寓大楼旁看见辆搬家卡车，有户住户要搬出去了。自那之后，我就再没遇到过这类事了。
<4> Sean Sutton
Yes. I’m a painting contractor. I save 5 gallon paint buckets, and then let them dry out on their own. Since paint is latex it just peels right out, which is much better than washing wet paint out of a bucket in my opinion. This past summer I removed approx 50 buckets from my garage and set them in my back yard to expedite the drying out process. My neighbor called the cops in regards to this. The joke was on him however, the cop that came to my house asked if I’d be willing to sell any of them. He came over that night and gave me $40 for 30 buckets. Since they sell for $3–4 a piece at the big box store, he saved money and I had some cash to take my wife out to dinner that night. Thanks neighbor!
有过。我是名油漆承包商。那个时候我存了些5加仑的油漆桶，就放那儿让它们干。因为是乳胶漆，所以干掉后漆很容易就能去掉了，在我看来这比用水洗掉残漆省事多了。刚刚过去的这个夏天，我从车库里搬了大约50个桶到我家后院里以加快晾干速度。然后我的邻居就因为这报警举报了我。但很可惜，他算盘是完全打错了，来我家的警察问我愿不愿意把桶卖给他。那晚，他花40美元从我这儿买了30个桶。因为油漆桶在big box 商场里一个卖3-4美元，所以结果是他省了钱，我也有了些小钱那晚带妻子去外面吃晚餐。所以，谢啦，邻居！
