坠机让我学到的三件事

3 things I learned while my plane crashed

Imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. Imagine a plane full of smoke. Imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack. It sounds scary.

Well, I had a unique seat that day. I was sitting in 1D. I was the only one who could talk to the flight attendants. So I looked at them right away, and they said, "No problem. We probably hit some birds." The pilot had already turned the plane around, and we weren't that far. You could see Manhattan. Two minutes later, three things happened at the same time.

The pilot lines up the plane with the Hudson River. That's usually not the route.

He turns off the engines. Now, imagine being in a plane with no sound. And then he says three words. The most unemotional three words I've ever heard. He says, "Brace for impact." I didn't have to talk to the flight attendant anymore.

I could see in her eyes, it was terror. Life was over.

Now I want to share with you three things I learned about myself that day. I learned that it all changes in an instant. We have this bucket list, we have these things we want to do in life, and I thought about all the people I wanted to reach out to that I didn't, all the fences I wanted to mend, all the experiences I wanted to have and I never did. As I thought about that later on, I came up with a saying, which is, "I collect bad wines." Because if the wine is ready and the person is there, I'm opening it. I no longer want to postpone anything in life. And that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.

The second thing I learned that day -- and this is as we clear the George Washington Bridge, which was by not a lot --

I thought about, wow, I really feel one real regret. I've lived a good life. In my own humanity and mistakes, I've tried to get better at everything I tried. But in my humanity, I also allow my ego to get in. And I regretted the time I wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter. And I thought about my relationship with my wife, with my friends, with people. And after, as I reflected on that, I decided to eliminate negative energy from my life. It's not perfect, but it's a lot better. I've not had a fight with my wife in two years. It feels great. I no longer try to be right; I choose to be happy.

The third thing I learned -- and this is as your mental clock starts going, "15, 14, 13." You can see the water coming. I'm saying, "Please blow up." I don't want this thing to break in 20 pieces like you've seen in those documentaries. And as we're coming down, I had a sense of, wow, dying is not scary. It's almost like we've been preparing for it our whole lives. But it was very sad. I didn't want to go; I love my life. And that sadness really framed in one thought, which is, I only wish for one thing. I only wish I could see my kids grow up. About a month later, I was at a performance by my daughter -- first-grader, not much artistic talent --

Yet!

And I'm bawling, I'm crying, like a little kid. And it made all the sense in the world to me. I realized at that point, by connecting those two dots, that the only thing that matters in my life is being a great dad. Above all, above all, the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.

I was given the gift of a miracle, of not dying that day. I was given another gift, which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live differently. I challenge you guys that are flying today, imagine the same thing happens on your plane -- and please don't -- but imagine, and how would you change? What would you get done that you're waiting to get done because you think you'll be here forever? How would you change your relationships and the negative energy in them? And more than anything, are you being the best parent you can?

Thank you. (Applause)

想像一个大爆炸 当你在三千多呎的高空 想像机舱内布满黑烟 想像引擎发出喀啦，喀啦， 喀啦，喀啦，喀啦的声响 这声响很可怕 那天我的位置很特别，我坐在1D 我是唯一可以和空服员说话的人 于是我看着他们 他们说“没问题，我们应该只是撞上鸟了。” 机长已经把机头转向 我们离目的地很近 已经可以看到曼哈顿了 两分钟以后 三件事情同时发生 机长把飞机对齐哈德逊河 一般的航道可不是这样 （笑声） 他关上引擎 想像一台没有声音的飞机 然后他说了几个字 我听过最不带情绪的几个字 他说“即将迫降，小心冲击” 我不用再问空服员什么了 （笑声） 我可以从她的眼神看到恐惧 人生结束了

现在我想和你分享那天我所学到的三件事 瞬间内一切改变了 我们的人生目标清单 那些我们想做的事 所有那些我想连络却没有连络的人 那些我应该修补的围墙，人际关系 所有我想要经历却没有经历的事 之后我回想那些事 我想到一个说法 那就是“我收藏的酒都很差” 因为如果酒已成熟，对象也有，我早就把酒打开了 我不想再把任何事延后 这种急迫的目的性 改变了我的生命

我所学到的第二件事是 正当我们通过乔治华盛顿大桥 那也没过多久 我想，哇 我只有一件真正后悔的事 虽然我犯了些错 但我的生命其实不错 我试着把每件事做得更好 但因为人性 我难免有些自我中心 我后悔竟然花了许多时间 和生命中重要的人 讨论那些不重要的事 我想到我和妻子，和朋友 和人们的关系 之后，我回想这件事 我决定除掉我人生中的负面情绪 还没完全做到，但好多了 过去两年我从未和妻子吵架 感觉很好 我不再尝试争论对错 我选择快乐

我所学到的第三件事 当你脑中的时钟开始倒数 “15，14，13” 看到旁边的水位开始上升 心想“拜托爆炸吧” 我不想这个东西碎成20片 像纪录片里那样 当我们逐渐下沉 我突然感觉到，哇 死并不可怕 就像是我们一直在为此做准备 但很令人悲伤 我不想就这样离开，我热爱我的生命 这个悲伤 的主要来源是 我只期待一件事 我希望我能够看我的孩子长大 一个月以后，我参加女儿的表演 － 她一年级，没什么艺术天份⋯⋯ ⋯⋯就算如此 （笑声） 我泪流满面 像个孩子 让我的世界重新有了意义 当时我意识到 把这两个事件连上 其实我生命中唯一重要的事 就是成为一个好父亲 比任何事情都重要 我人生中唯一的目标 就是做个好父亲.

那天我经历了一个神迹 我活下来了 同时我得到另一个启示 像是看见自己的未来 再回来 改变自己的人生 我鼓励今天要坐飞机的各位 想像若是一样的事发生在你身上 － 最好不要 － 但想像，你会如何改变？ 有什么是你想做却没做的 因为你觉得你会有其它机会做它？ 你会如何改变你的人际关系 不再如此负面？ 最重要的是，你是否尽力成为一个好的父母？

谢谢各位。