某人闲来无事写的英语对活（含俚语双关梗冷笑话等）

温馨提示，本人刚上初四，词汇量很一般，俚语/习语/俗语（老天啊它们到底有什么区别！？）等主要来自B站冲浪时的积累 感谢up主@迷幻枸杞 ！本文（说实话这也算是“文”？）涉及到的大部分俚语/习语/俗语来自他的视频（看他的视频真的可以学到英语唉！！ (๑´∀`๑)） 如果有错误的话(我尽力了(￢_￢)）请指出，不喜勿喷！ Let's go!↓

John:Guess what? I was fired. I'm living hand to mouth. Larry:I'm sorry. Let's eat out. Don't worry about the cost. I'll pay for you. *In the restaurant Waiter:May I take your order? Larry:Of course. I could eat a horse. Waiter:A horse? Sorry, we have no horse there. Larry:Uh-huh. What would you like to eat, John? John:I'll play it by ear. Larry:OK.Just tell us your specials today. Waiter:Alright. Our special1 is wood fired pizza… John:Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a new job now? Waiter:Uh…Our special2 is pasta cooked by our new chef. John:Oh yes. The old chef passed away just like the pasta. Larry:Whoosh. It's Okey. Just give us some potato chips and two glasses of soda water. Thanks. *10 minutes later. Waiter:Let me see…The potato chips is 11 dollars and the soda water is 11 dollars, too… Larry:It's 20 dollars in total. Waiter:Yeah…wait what? Larry:Because 10+10=20 and 11+11 is 20, too. Right? Waiter:Fishy business. Larry:By the way. Where are you from? Waiter:Netherlands. Larry:Yoooo…Dutch uncle, uh? Waiter:Well. Now you guys have to try special 3:humble pie. Go out! Larry:Yeah.Goodbye. It is impolite to take a French leave,isn't it? John:Oh damn it.It is snowing.It's icy. Larry:Never mind.Lo and behold,what a great stone.You know what?It is good at breaking the ice. *15minutes later. John:Oh my gosh.It is snowing heavily. Larry:Why not make a snowman? *30 minutes later. Larry:Hey dude.Look!Is this a snowMAN or a snowWOMAN? John:What the hell?What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman? Larry:The snow balls. John:What?!It's not funny at all! Larry:Calm down dude.Wel,how about this one?What do you call an old snowman?…Water. John:You can s it again.Oh look,What a wonderful car! Larry:No shit.How do you think they keep the car so shiny? John:Polish,I guess. Larry:Would you like to take Polish lessons with me next week?I believe that we will make it as long as we stick to it. John:I don't think learning with a man who can eat an area of more than783000 square kilometersis useful. Larry:(LOL)That's interesting. John:I am afraid that we can't afford to buy a car. Larry:That's true.But life is like a box of chocolate,isn't it? John:Why do you still help me and try to make me laugh?I mean, I am broke… Larry:'causethe friendship is a sheltering tree.And remember,it's rainbow at the end of rainstorm. John:O I see.Thank you bro.Thanks to you,I am as happy as Larry.Loving you,with all my heart.