【龙腾网】坠入爱河的黑暗面是什么？

正文翻译

What is the dark side of falling in love?

坠入爱河的黑暗面是什么？

评论翻译

Yashasvi Kone, works at Tech Mahindra 在马衡达信息做技术工作

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

每段感情都有一个周期。在开始的时候，你发现爱上她后。你期待他们的电话，想要享受他们的触摸，喜欢他们的特质。事实上，坠入爱河并不难。这完全是一种自然和自发的体验。其实什么都不用做，这就是为什么我们称之为“坠入爱河”。
有时，恋爱中的人会说：“我被扫地出门了。”想象一下这个场景。它意味着你只是站在那儿；无所事事，然后有些事情发生在了你身上。

I remember Rex when we were alone asking me quite often if I liked Luke and I would always give her a vague answer. My reasons were I didn’t know him well and we only spoke in class and another was he had the fuckboy look and I didn’t want to start liking someone or have a crush on someone who I thought would end up hurting me in the future.
As more time would go on, Luke would start texting me more and we would hang out on our free periods alone. We noticed we got on really well. His personality was good and we had lots of common interests. We started getting the bus together and then when we was home we would play games together and would have phone calls that would last hours.
It was inevitable that the more I was getting to know him and the closer I got to him, I started to like him more than a friend. I distinctively remember trying to not hang out with him as much because I didn’t want my feeling to grow stronger and ruin our new friendship but to be completely honest I was worried he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings.

我记得当只有我和雷克斯两人在一起时，她经常问我是否喜欢卢克，我总是含糊其辞地回答她。我的理由是我不太了解他，我们只是在课堂上交谈，另一个原因是他长得很帅，我不想喜欢或者迷恋一个我认为将来会伤害我的人。
随着时间的推移，卢克开始给我发更多的短信，我们会在空闲时间单独出去玩。我们注意到我们相处得很好。他的性格很好，我们有很多共同的爱好。我们开始一起搭公车，回家后我们一起玩游戏，打几个小时的电话。
不可避免的是，我越了解他，越接近他，我对他的喜欢就会越来越超出朋友的范畴。我清楚地记得我试着尽量不再和他在一起，因为我不想让我的感情变得更强烈，从而破坏我们的新友谊，但说实话，我主要担心他不喜欢我。

It was a usual day and we was waiting for the bus and I remember us taking about our past relationships and I jokingly told him I seem to only attract weird people and he replied ‘ I must be weird then’, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. He felt the same way and before I could say anything his bus came and we were both separated. Neither of us brought it up for a week because I didn’t know how to bring it up and I didn’t want to talk to him about it in case he didn’t want to talk about it. When I had the courage I brought it up, we both spoke maturely and he told me he didn’t need to hear an answer and I could take as long as I want to tell him if I felt the same way or not, I was thankful because I didn’t feel ready to tell him. I still wanted to get to know him more before I would confess.
About a month later I could tell through the messages he was sending me he was flirting and I decided to call him and confess that I liked him back. By this point I was in love. He was everything I had dreamed off in a guy. At this point we was so close he had been telling me secrets no one knew about him and talked about things that only his family was allowed to know. He made me feel special as I was the chosen one he decided to confide in.

那是一个平常的日子，我们在等公共汽车，我记得我们在谈论我们过去的恋情，我开玩笑地告诉他，我似乎只吸引奇怪的人，他回答说“那我一定很奇怪”，我的心几乎跳了出来。他对我也有同样的感觉，我还没来得及说什么，他的车就来了，我们俩就分开了。接下来一个星期我们两个谁都没再提起这件事，因为我不知道怎么提出来，我也不想跟他谈论此事，可能他也不想谈及此事。当我有勇气提起这件事时，我们俩都能很成熟地对话了，他告诉我他不需要听到回答，只要我愿意，多久以后告诉他我是否有同样的感受都行，我对此很感激，因为我还没有准备好告诉他。我还是想在坦白之前多了解他。
大约一个月后，我从他发给我的短信中可以看出他在调情，于是我决定打电话给他，承认我很喜欢他。至此，我已坠入爱河。他是我梦寐以求的男生。在这一点上，我们是如此接近，他会跟我谈论他不为人所知的秘密，并且他会跟我谈论一些只有他的家人才允许知道的事情。他让我觉得自己很特别，因为我是他决定倾诉的对象。

We never dated even when I told him I liked him back, I asked him why tell me you have feelings for me and never intend to date me and he told me ‘it’s because I have too much respect for you’. I am still very close friends with him and I now understand what he meant. We are both still young and he doesn’t want to have something long term at the moment, right now he acts as what a fuckboy does and I don’t agree with it but because he has ‘respect’ for me he would never allow me to further our relationship because he knew he would end up hurting me.
So to answer the question, what can be the dark parts of love?
simple: loving someone so much you have to let them go because you know at this moment you can not be the person they need or deserve. Even if it means you don’t get what you want.

即使我告诉他我喜欢他，我们也从未约会过，我问他为什么告诉我你对我有感情，但却从不打算和我约会，他告诉我“这是因为我太尊重你了”。我和他仍然是非常亲密的朋友，我现在明白了他的意思。我们都还年轻，他那时还不想考虑得太远。现在我不同意他表现得像个混蛋这种看法了，但因为他对我有所尊重，他永远不会允许进一步发展我们的关系，因为他知道他会伤害我。
所以我来回答这个问题，爱是什么？
很简单：深爱一个人，你就必须让他离开，因为你知道此时此刻你不可能成为他所需要或应得的那个人。即使这意味着你得不到你想要的。
Anshul Sharma, lives in London 住在伦敦

Love…. is such a funny thing.
You meet someone, go out on a date and try to keep it casual because, you think that if something meaningful is going to happen, you need to let it happen naturally. And not try to force it.
After a few dates, while walking in a garden, she suddenly stops and asks you for more — A commitment. A thousand thoughts run through your head…
You think and think hard whether it’s too soon.
You try to figure out whether you really feel for that person.
You ponder whether this will even work out.
Is it too soon?
All this, in a matter of seconds.

爱情真是件有趣的事。
你遇到一个人，出去约会，试着保持轻松，你认为可能有什么有意义的事情发生，你需要顺其自然，不要试图强迫它。
几次约会后，当她在花园里散步时，她突然停下来要求你提供更多：如一个承诺，与此同时有一千种想法在你的脑海里闪过。
你仔细想想是否为时过早。
你试着弄清楚你是否真的喜欢那个人。
你在考虑这是否会成功。
是不是为时过早了？
所有这些，都发生在几秒钟之内。

And while you remain speechless, tears start to roll out of her eyes. And being an emotional fool that you are, you melt and say ‘Ok! Let’s do it.’
There is no Love at the moment, but when you spend enough time with someone, and like doing it so much that you wish for more, the feelings get stronger. And I don’t know at what point you start calling it Love.
She starts being the focus of your attention. You don’t show her, but day by day, she starts becoming a part of your routine, and you begin to feel incomplete without her.
And that’s when you start to feel fear. Because beginning to feel complete with someone is a sign of dependence and that, makes you vulnerable.
You ignore your fears and they take a small corner in your head. Not visible, but ever so present. Things are going great. She is great and makes you happy. She loves you and never fails to tell you that. You ain’t too good at expressing but appreciate everything she does.
Then one day, she calls you and drops a bomb. She did something and wants to seek forgiveness. She thought you two were not too serious. You feel stunned and don’t know how to react. A thousand thoughts run through your head again…

当你说不出话来的时候，眼泪开始从她的眼睛里滚出。作为一个情感上的傻瓜，你心软了，然后说“好吧！我们交往吧。”
现在还没有爱，但是当你花足够的时间和某人在一起，并且喜欢这样做以至于你希望得到更多，这种感觉就会变得更强烈。我不知道你从什么时候开始称它为爱。
她开始成为你关注的焦点。日子一天天地过去，她开始成为你日常生活的一部分，没有她，你开始感到不完整。
那就是当你开始感到恐惧的时候。因为和某人在一起才感觉完整，这是一种依赖的标志，这会让你变得脆弱。
你忽视了你的恐惧，它们占据了你脑袋里的一个角落。看不到，但永远这么存在。一切都很顺利。她很棒，可以让你开心。她爱你，并且也是一直这么跟你说的。你不太善于表达，但很感激她所做的一切。
后来有一天，她打电话给你，说她做了一些事，想寻求原谅。她认为你们俩的关系不是认真的。你感到震惊，不知道如何反应。一千个念头又在你的脑海里闪过。

Was it happening because you didn’t express enough?
Was it because she never really felt for you?
Why did she? How can she? Is it even real? Am I dreaming?
But she really wants to make amends. She really is sorry. And you believe her. Because, you’ve come too far to let go so easily. And just like that, there is a crack which will never disappear, but you anyway hide it or ignore it.
Things are great again. You are in love again. And this time, you try to be more expressive. You try to be there for her more. You have fights and discussions always leading to the things that happened but you try and not bring it up.
You fear more now, because what happened once, can happen again.

是不是因为你表达的不够充分？
是因为她从来没有真正为你着想吗？
她为什么这么做？她怎么能这么做？这是真的吗？我在做梦吗？
但她真的很想弥补。她真的很抱歉。你相信她。也因为在一起太久，所以无法轻易放手。就这样，出现了一条永远不会消失的裂缝，但你还是要隐藏它或者忽略它。
事情又变得好起来。你又坠入爱河了。这一次，你试着变得更有表现力。你想多陪她一点。你们之间总是有争吵和争执的事情发生，但你试图不提出来。
你现在更害怕了，因为曾经发生过类似的事情，可能会再次发生。

And your fears come true, because it happens again. She seeks your forgiveness again. She says that your fights make her fear the worst and she feels vulnerable, leading to mistakes. And again, you believe her. You think this is the last time.
You think she’ll be more careful and that it was just another mistake. You hope you’re not being taken for granted. But you are.
And just like that, a pattern forms. And you’re now a part of a toxic relationship. Being with someone and yet feeling more scared than loved, all the time. Always waiting for something to happen again, fearing the worst.
Dark side of being in love is — Being so involved in it, that you find it difficult to come out, even when its crystal clear that it won’t last, it won’t survive much. And yet, you have no strength to end it yourself. You just go with the flow. You settle for what is left of it. Until she makes the call for you.

你的恐惧成真了，因为它又发生了。她再次寻求你的原谅。她说吵架让她很害怕，她觉得自己很脆弱，导致再次犯错。你又一次相信了她。以为这是最后一次。
你认为她会更加小心，这只是另一个错误。您希望自己不会被视为理所当然。 但就像这样形成了一个模式。而且你现在是一段有毒关系的一部分。和一个人在一起，却恐惧却比爱要更多。总是等待着事情再次发生，害怕最坏的结果。
坠入爱河的阴暗面深陷其中，你会发现很难走出来，即使是明摆着这段爱情不会持久，。然而，你没有力量去结束它。只得顺其自然。你只能接受剩下的一切。直到她给你打电话。

And that’s the best thing that she did for you. You realise that with time.
Over the years, I have come to realise that Love, is a choice.
And that ‘It’s easier to fall in it, than to fall out of it.’

这是她为你所做的最好的事。随着时间的推移，你会意识到这一点。
多年来，我逐渐意识到，爱是一种选择。
而且陷进去容易，走出来难。

Anonymous
Its a long story. Also excuse my grammatical mistakes.
We were office colleagues. Had a great bond. I had feelings for himbut never confronted him. Some how he started have feelings for me and confessed to me. I said I was elder to him. 5yrs elder to him. He said age is just a number and it doesn't matter to him. He talked about his love to his brother and sister in law. They accepted it. I was on cloud nine. I talked about him to my family and it was accepted.
Much happy now. I change my job but we still managed to be in contact and spend time together. We were happy with eachother. We had already started planning our future together.
He belonged to different city so he left the job and moved to his hometown. We were still in relationship. Happy together.
He called me at his place to meet his mother. He had lost his father few years ago. I went at his place with my sister. We had nice time. His family greeted us well and also gifted us few things.

说来话长。同时请原谅我有些语法错误。
我们是办公室同事，关系很好。我对他有感情，但从来没有向他坦白过。不知何故他开始对我有感觉，并向我告白了。我说我比他年长5岁。他说年龄只是个数字，对他来说并不重要。他向弟弟和嫂子谈起了他对我的爱，他们接受了。我当时如释重负。我也和我的家人提起了他，并且这段感情被接受了。
我换了工作，但我们还是设法保持联系，共度时光。我们彼此都很开心。我们已经开始计划我们的未来了。
他来自另一个的城市，所以他辞去了工作搬到了他的家乡。我们还在谈恋爱。
他打电话给我让我去他家见他母亲。他几年前失去了父亲。我和我姐姐去了他家。我们玩得很开心。他的家人很欢迎我们，也给了我们一些礼物。

Later after few days he talked about me to his mom. And she denied our relationship. He fought for few days but eventually gave up. His brother also didn't supported him by then. And so he broke our relationship. I was devatsed. I couldn't bear the heart break. I kept on crying.
This affected my performance in office. I had to quit my job. He initially kept contact with me but later on he broke the contact. He said he loved me but can't go against family, mainly Mom.
After few months we met at a friend's wedding. He said he still loved me. He promised he won't leave me this time and would talk again about our relationship at home.
This time everyone in his family stood against him. His brother and sister in law who once supported our relationship now started hating me. And he AGAIN called off our relation. I was broken once again.
We were still in contact but everything eventually came to relationship and I couldn't moveon whereas he always denied to take a step ahead for relation.
In the meantime, my sister was ill and hospitalized. And I broke all the contact with him. We weren't in contact for 2 months.

几天后，他和他妈妈谈起了我。但她妈妈不同意我们的关系。他争取了几天，但最终还是放弃了。他哥哥那时也不支持他。所以他结束了我们的关系。我如同被摧毁一般。我无法忍受如此的心碎，只能一直哭。
这影响了我在办公室的表现。我不得不辞职。他一开始还和我保持联系，但后来就断了联系。他说他爱我，但不能违背家人，尤其是妈妈。
几个月后，我们在一个朋友的婚礼上相遇。他说他还爱我。他答应这次不会离开我，并且还会跟家人再谈谈我们的关系。
这次他家里的人都不支持他。他曾经支持我们关系的兄妹现在也开始讨厌我了。他又结束了我们的关系。我又一次崩溃了。
我们仍然保持着联系，但最终一切都只能是恋爱关系，我无法更进一步，而他总是拒绝采取行动让关系更进一步
与此同时，我姐姐生病住院了。我和他断绝了联系。已经有两个月没联系了。

I lost my sister. I was broken again. He came to visit me. I didn't wanted him to come as I knew everything would be repeated. But still can't deny him from coming.
He came. Saw me crying. Saw me in my worst phase of my life. Maybe he got drown into the feelings and might have got sympathy towards me and promised to carry our relation further. I clarified he would again leave me in the name of family. He denied. He said he is ready for court marriage too if his family denied.
After a month he met my father and assured him that he would never leave me again for the THIRD time. No matter what happens he would marry me.

我失去了我的姐姐。我又崩溃了。他要来看我，我不想让他来，因为我知道一切都会重演。但我还是无法拒绝他的到来。
他来了，看到我在哭，看到了我生命中最糟糕的阶段。也许他还沉浸在这种感情中，也许是处于对我的同情，他答应会让我们的关系走得更远。我说他会再次以家人的名义离开我。他否认了。他说，如果家人拒绝，他也准备好直接去领证。
一个月后，他见到了我父亲，并向他保证，他不会再离开我了。不管发生什么事他都会娶我。

He again, for the third time talked about me to his mom. As expected she denied and after fighting for few days… unfortunately he repeated the history and left me again. I am now so broken and devasted. I cry in the middle of night. I can't imagine my life without him.
In the meantime, during our relationship for the third time I ones visited him at his city. Somehow his brother came to know about this. And he made my bf to leave me there alone.
I was at unknown city, at unknown place. And his brother made me stay alone for the whole night. I cried for the whole night. Its still a nightmare for me.

他又一次，也是第三次和他妈妈谈起我。不出所料，她拒绝了，在争取了几天之后，不幸的是，他又一次重蹈覆辙，离开了我。我现在是如此的沮丧。总在半夜哭泣。我无法想象我的生活里没有他。
与此同时，在我们第三次交往期间，我去他的城市同他见面。不知什么原因，他哥哥知道了这件事，他让我男朋友把我一个人留在那里。
我在一个不知名的城市，一个不知名的地方。他哥哥让我一个人呆了整整一晚上。我哭了一整夜。这至今对我来说还是个噩梦。

This time I am so broken that I have forgot to smile and live a happy life. I was not out of my sister's lose. Its just 4 months I have lost my sister. And its already a month he left me for the third time.
Love hurts. It changes people. I now have trust issues.
Many times I feel like killing myself. But the thought that I am only child to my parents now holds me back. I have lost my younger brother 11 yrs back and lost elder sister 4 months back.
I still love him. He says he loves me too but can't marry me, because his family isn't accepting. He is not ready to go against his family.

这一次我太伤心了，我失去姐姐才4个月。
爱情很伤人。也改变了人。我现在面临信任问题。
很多次我都想自杀。但一想到我现在是父母唯一的孩子，我就退缩了。我11年前就失去了弟弟，而4个月前又失去了姐姐。
我仍然爱他。他说他也爱我，但不能娶我，因为他的家人不接受。他也不准备与家人作对。