为什么你应该做无用得东西？

Why you should make useless things

演讲者：Simone Giertz

 

Hello. My name is Simone. You know how people tell you if you get nervous when onstage, picture people in the audience naked? Like it's this thing that's supposed to make you feel better. But I was thinking -- picturing all of you naked in 2018 feels kind of weird and wrong. Like, we're working really hard on moving past stuff like that, so we need a new method of dealing with if you get nervous onstage. And I realized that what I'd really like is that I can look at you as much as you're looking at me -- just to even things out a little bit. So if I had way more eyeballs, then we'd all be really comfortable, right? So in preparation for this talk, I made myself a shirt.

你好。 我叫西蒙妮。 你知道别人怎么告诉你 如果你在舞台上感到紧张，想象一下观众中的人赤身裸体？ 就像这个东西应该 让你感觉更好。 但我在想——想象你们所有人在2018年的裸体 感觉有点奇怪和不对劲。 就像，我们真的很努力 关于移动过去这样的事情，所以我们需要一种新的方法来处理你在舞台上感到紧张。 我意识到我真正想要的是我可以看着你。 就像你看着我一样 - 只是为了平衡一下事情。 所以如果我有更多的眼球，那么我们都会 真的很舒服，对吧？ 

 

It's googly eyes. It took me 14 hours and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt. And being able to look at you as much as you're looking at me is actually only half of the reason I made this. The other half is being able to do this.

是一双狡黠的眼睛。 我花了14个小时和227只眼睛来制作这件衬衫。 能够看着你 你看着我，其实只有一半 我这样做的原因。 另一半是能够做到这一点。

 

 

So I do a lot of things like this. I see a problem and I invent some sort of solution to it. For example, brushing your teeth. Like, it's this thing we all have to do, it's kind of boring, and nobody really likes it. If there were any seven-year-olds in the audience, they'd be like, "Yes!" So what about if you had a machine that could do it for you?

所以我做了很多这样的事情。 我看到一个问题，我发明 某种解决方案。 例如，刷牙。 就像，这是我们都必须做的事情， 这有点无聊，没有人真正喜欢它。 如果有的话 观众席上的七岁孩子会说：“是的！ 那么如果你有 一台可以为您完成的机器？

 

I call it ... I call it "The Toothbrush Helmet."

我称之为... 我称之为“牙刷头盔”。

 

So my toothbrush helmet is recommended by zero out of 10 dentists, and it definitely did not revolutionize the world of dentistry, but it did completely change my life. Because I finished making this toothbrush helmet three years ago and after I finished making it, I went into my living room and I put up a camera, and I filmed a seven-second clip of it working. And by now, this is a pretty standard modern-day fairy tale of girl posting on the internet, the internet takes the girl by storm, thousands of men voyage into the comment sections to ask for her hand in marriage --

 

所以我的牙刷头盔是推荐的 十分之一的牙医，绝对没有 彻底改变了牙科世界，但它确实彻底改变了我的生活。 因为我完成了这把牙刷的制作 三年前的头盔，在我完成它之后，我走进了我的客厅 我架起相机，拍了七秒钟 它工作的剪辑。 到目前为止，这是一个相当标准 现代童话女孩发帖上网，互联网席卷少女，万千男人航行 进入评论区求婚——

 

 

She ignores all of them, starts a YouTube channel and keeps on building robots. Since then, I've carved out this little niche for myself on the internet as an inventor of useless machines, because as we all know, the easiest way to be at the top of your field is to choose a very small field.

她忽略了所有这些， 开设YouTube频道并继续构建机器人。 从那以后，我雕刻了这个小 作为无用机器的发明者，我在互联网上的利基市场，因为众所周知，最简单的方法 要在你的领域处于领先地位，就是选择一个非常小的领域。

 

So I run a YouTube channel about my machines, and I've done things like cutting hair with drones --

所以我经营一个YouTube频道 关于我的机器，我已经做了一些事情 就像用无人机剪头发一样——

 

To a machine that helps me wake up in the morning --

到一台帮助我的机器 早上醒来——

 

(Video) Simone: Ow!

（视频）西蒙妮： 哎呀！

 

To this machine that helps me chop vegetables.

到这台机器 这有助于我切菜。

 

I'm not an engineer. I did not study engineering in school. But I was a super ambitious student growing up. In middle school and high school, I had straight A's, and I graduated at the top of my year. On the flip side of that, I struggled with very severe performance anxiety. Here's an email I sent to my brother around that time. "You won't understand how difficult it is for me to tell you, to confess this. I'm so freaking embarrassed. I don't want people to think that I'm stupid. Now I'm starting to cry too. Damn." And no, I did not accidentally burn our parents' house down. The thing I'm writing about in the email and the thing I'm so upset about is that I got a B on a math test.

我不是工程师。 我没有在学校学习工程学。 但我是一个超级雄心勃勃的人 学生成长。 在初中和高中， 我得了全A，我以一年第一的成绩毕业。 另一方面，我与非常严重的问题作斗争 表现焦虑。 这是我发送的电子邮件 大约在那个时候给我哥哥。 “你不会明白的 我告诉你，承认这一点是多么困难。 我太尴尬了。 我不要人 认为我很愚蠢。 现在我也开始哭了。 该死的。 不，我没有意外烧伤 我们父母的房子倒塌了。 我在电子邮件中写的东西 我非常沮丧的是我在数学考试中得了B。

 

So something obviously happened between here and here.

所以显然发生了一些事情 在这里和这里之间。

 

One of those things was puberty.

其中之一就是青春期。

 

 

Beautiful time indeed. But moreover, I got interested in building robots, and I wanted to teach myself about hardware. But building things with hardware, especially if you're teaching yourself, is something that's really difficult to do. It has a high likelihood of failure and moreover, it has a high likelihood of making you feel stupid. And that was my biggest fear at the time. So I came up with a setup that would guarantee success 100 percent of the time. With my setup, it would be nearly impossible to fail. And that was that instead of trying to succeed, I was going to try to build things that would fail. And even though I didn't realize it at the time, building stupid things was actually quite smart, because as I kept on learning about hardware, for the first time in my life, I did not have to deal with my performance anxiety. And as soon as I removed all pressure and expectations from myself, that pressure quickly got replaced by enthusiasm, and it allowed me to just play.

确实是美好的时光。 但更重要的是，我对建造机器人产生了兴趣，我想自学 关于硬件。 但是用硬件构建东西， 特别是如果你在自学，是真的 很难做到。 它有很高的失败可能性，而且，它有很高的可能性 让你觉得自己很愚蠢。 这是我当时最大的恐惧。 所以我想出了一个可以 保证100%的成功。 使用我的设置，它将是 几乎不可能失败。 就是这样 试图成功，我将尝试建立 会失败的事情。 即使我没有 当时意识到这一点，构建愚蠢的东西 其实挺聪明的，因为随着我不断的坚持 学习硬件，我有生以来第一次不必处理 与我的表现焦虑。 一旦我删除 来自我自己的所有压力和期望，这种压力很快 被热情所取代，它让我只能玩。

 

So as an inventor, I'm interested in things that people struggle with. It can be small things or big things or medium-sized things and something like giving a TED talk presents this whole new set of problems that I can solve. And identifying a problem is the first step in my process of building a useless machine. So before I came here, I sat down and I thought of some of the potential problems I might have in giving this talk. Forgetting what to say. That people won't laugh -- that's you. Or even worse, that you'll laugh at the wrong things -- that was an OK part to laugh at, thank you.

所以作为一个发明家，我对事物感兴趣 人们挣扎着。 它可以是小事，也可以是大事 或中型事物，例如发表TED演讲 提出了我可以解决的一系列全新问题。 并识别问题 是我构建无用机器过程的第一步。 所以在我来这里之前，我坐下来，我想了一些 我在做这个演讲时可能遇到的潜在问题。 忘记该说什么。 人们不会笑 - 那就是你。 或者更糟糕的是，你会嘲笑错误的事情 - 这是一个可以嘲笑的部分，谢谢。

 

Or that when I get nervous, my hands start shaking and I'm really self-conscious about it. Or that my fly has been open this entire time and all of you noticed but I didn't, but it's closed so we're all good on that one.

或者当我紧张的时候， 我的手开始颤抖，我真的很自觉。 或者我的苍蝇已经 整个时间都打开了，你们所有人都注意到了，但我没有，但它已经关闭了，所以我们 都很好。

 

But one thing I'm actually really nervous about is my hands shaking. I remember when I was a kid, giving presentations in school, I would have my notes on a piece of paper, and I would put a notebook behind the paper so that people wouldn't be able to see the paper quivering. And I give a lot of talks. I know that about half of you in the audience are probably like, "Building useless machines is really fun, but how is this in any way or form a business?" And giving talks is a part of it. And the arrangers always put out a glass of water for you onstage so you have something to drink if you get thirsty, and I always so badly want to drink that water, but I don't dare to pick the glass up because then people might be able to see that my hands are shaking. So what about a machine that hands you a glass of water? Sold to the nervous girl in the googly-eye shirt.

但有一件事我真的是 紧张的是我的手在颤抖。 我记得当我还是个孩子的时候，在学校做演讲，我会把我的笔记写在一张纸上，我会放一个笔记本。 在纸的背后，这样人们就无法 看到纸张在颤抖。 我做了很多演讲。 我知道你们中大约有一半 在观众中可能会说，“建造无用的机器真的很有趣，但这怎么会怎样 还是创业？ 演讲是其中的一部分。 而且编曲人总是拿出来 在舞台上为你喝一杯水，这样你就有东西喝了 如果你渴了，我总是那么糟糕 想喝那水，但我不敢拿起杯子，因为那样人们也许可以 看到我的手在颤抖。 那么机器呢 递给你一杯水？ 卖给紧张的女孩 穿着那件炙痒的衬衫。

 

Actually, I need to take this off because I have a thing --

实际上，我需要取下它 因为我有一样东西——

I still don't know what to call this, but I think some sort of "head orbit device," because it rotates this platform around you and you can put anything on it. You can have a camera; you can get photos of your entire head. Like it's really -- it's a very versatile machine.

我仍然不知道该怎么称呼它，但我认为某种 “头部轨道装置”，因为它旋转 这个平台围绕着你，你可以在上面放任何东西。 你可以有一个相机; 您可以获得整个头部的照片。 好像真的—— 这是一台用途广泛的机器。

 

OK, and I have -- I mean, you can put some snacks on it, for example, if you want to. I have some popcorn here. And you just put a little bit like that. And then you want to -- there's some sacrifices for science -- just some popcorn falling on the floor. Let's do the long way around.

好的，我有 - 我的意思是，你可以把 例如，如果你愿意，可以在上面吃一些零食。 我这里有一些爆米花。 你只是放了一点点这样。 然后你想 - 为科学做出一些牺牲 - 只是一些爆米花掉在地板上。 让我们做很长的路。

 

 

And then you have a little hand. You need to adjust the height of it, and you just do it by shrugging.

然后你有一只小手。 你需要调整它的高度，你只需耸耸肩就可以做到。

 

It has a little hand.

它有一只小手

 

I just bumped my mic off, but I think we're all good. OK, also I need to chew this popcorn, so if you guys could just clap your hands a little bit more --

我只是把麦克风撞掉了，但我认为我们都很好。 好吧，我也需要咀嚼这个爆米花，所以如果你们可以的话 再拍拍手一点——

 

OK, so it's like your own little personal solar system, because I'm a millennial, so I want everything to revolve around me.

好吧，所以它就像你自己的 个人太阳系很小，因为我是千禧一代，所以我希望一切都围绕着我。

 

Back to the glass of water, that's what we're here for. So, I promise -- I mean, it still has -- it doesn't have any water in it, I'm sorry. But I still need to work on this machine a little bit because I still need to pick up the glass and put it on the platform, but if your hands are shaking a little bit, nobody's going to notice because you're wearing a very mesmerizing piece of equipment.

回到那杯水， 这就是我们在这里的目的。 所以，我保证 - 我的意思是，它仍然有 - 它里面没有任何水，对不起。 但我仍然需要工作 在这台机器上一点点，因为我仍然需要拿起玻璃杯 并将其放在平台上，但是如果您的手 有点颤抖，没有人会注意到，因为你穿着 一个非常迷人的设备。

 

So, we're all good. OK.

所以，我们都很好。 还行。

 

Oh no, it got stuck. Isn't it comforting that even robots sometimes get stage fright? It just gets stuck a little bit. It's very human of them. Oh wait, let's go back a little bit, and then --

哦不，它卡住了。 连机器人都令人欣慰吗 有时会怯场？ 它只是卡住了一点点。 他们非常人性化。 哦，等等，我们回去一会儿，然后——

 

Isn't it a beautiful time to be alive?

活着不是很美好吗？

 

So as much as my machines can seem like simple engineering slapstick, I realize that I stumbled on something bigger than that. It's this expression of joy and humility that often gets lost in engineering, and for me it was a way to learn about hardware without having my performance anxiety get in the way. I often get asked if I think I'm ever going to build something useful, and maybe someday I will. But the way I see it, I already have because I've built myself this job and it's something that I could never have planned for, or that I could --

所以就像我的机器看起来一样多 就像简单的工程闹剧，我意识到我绊倒了 在比这更大的事情上。 这是喜悦和谦卑的表达 这经常在工程中迷失，对我来说，这是一种方式 在没有我的表现的情况下了解硬件 焦虑成为障碍。 我经常被问到我是否认为我曾经 去建造一些有用的东西，也许有一天我会。 但在我看来，我已经有了，因为我已经为自己建立了这份工作，这是我可以做到的。 从来没有计划过，或者我可以——

 

It's something that I could never have planned for. Instead it happened just because I was enthusiastic about what I was doing, and I was sharing that enthusiasm with other people. To me that's the true beauty of making useless things, because it's this acknowledgment that you don't always know what the best answer is. And it turns off that voice in your head that tells you that you know exactly how the world works. And maybe a toothbrush helmet isn't the answer, but at least you're asking the question.

这是我可以做到的 从来没有计划过。 相反，它的发生只是因为 我对我正在做的事情充满热情，我正在分享这种热情。 与其他人。 对我来说，这才是真正的美 制造无用的东西，因为这是你并不总是知道的承认 最好的答案是什么。 它关闭了你脑海中那个告诉你你知道的声音。 世界究竟是如何运作的。 也许还有牙刷头盔 不是答案，但至少你在问这个问题。