（日更）看笑话，猜谜语，学英语 2020.3.14

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

女人：有什么问题吗，警官先生？

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

警官：夫人，您超速了。

Woman: Oh, I see.

女人：哦，我知道了。

Officer: Can I see your license, please?

警官：请您给我看一下驾照。

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

女人：我倒想给你，可是我没有。

Officer: Don't you have one?

警官：您没有吗？

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

女人：因为醉驾没了4次了。

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

警官：我懂了。。。请给我看下你的车辆登记证。

Woman: I can't do that.

女人：这我办不到。

Officer: Why not?

警官：为什么？

Woman: 'Cause I stole this car.

女人：这车是我偷的。

Officer: You stole it?

警官：你偷的？

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

女人：是啊，我还把车主大卸八块了。

Officer: You what?

警官：你说什么？

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

女人：他在后备箱里呢，拿塑料袋装着。想看自己去看。

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

警官看着这位女士，慢慢退回自己的车，然后呼叫支援。几分钟之内有五辆警车把她的车围了起来。一位高级警官手里攥着已抽出一半的手枪，慢慢地靠近这辆车。

Senior officer: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle. Please!

高级警官：夫人，请你从车里下来。

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

女人从车里走下来。

Woman: Is there a problem, sir?

女人：有问题吗，警官？

Senior officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

高级警官：一位警官告诉我你偷了这辆车，还害死了车主。

Woman: Murdered the owner?

女人：害死了车主？

Senior officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

高级警官：是的，请打开你车的后备箱。

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

女人打开了后备箱，里面空空如也。

Senior officer: Is this your car, Ma'am?

高级警官：这是您的车吗，夫人？

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

女人：是的，这是我的登记证明。

The first officer is stunned.

前面那位警官愣住了。

Senior officer: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

高级警官：有位警官说你没有驾照。

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

女人把手伸进手提包，拿出一个钱包递给警官。警官把钱包打开，检查了一下驾照。他满脸疑惑。

Senior officer: Thank you, Ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

高级警官：感谢配合，夫人，有位警官说你没有驾照，偷了这辆车然后把车主大卸八块了。

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

女士：我打赌那个爱说瞎话的小人还说我超速了呢。

昨日谜语答案：

Incorrectly, except when it is spelled incorrectly.

这个有点文字游戏的意思。字面是问英文中那个词总拼错，而错的单词就是 incorrectly, 所以答案很多人都能想到是 incorrectly，但妙就妙在英文强调严谨，所以你还得加上，是 incorrectly 这个单词，但你不能把它拼错。

今日谜语：

How can you make sure that two people fairly share a cake with a single knife cut?