Side Story｜Maya（15）

15-1 "

She was the second born under starlight.  星光爬上她的面颊，为她披上紫色的外衣。这是第二位诞生于星光之下的少女。 To many of those come to Arcaea, the world once white also appeared as a world of endless day. But, in time, night fell.  在她之前，已有许多人曾行走在这片名为Arcaea的大地上。不久前，这个曾只是一片纯白色的永昼世界终于迎来了它的第一个黑夜。 A border between day and night formed.  至此，一条清晰的边界将白昼与夜晚分隔开来。 On the darkened side of the border, two new lives drifted down to the earth like fallen stars.  新生的夜空也曾被点亮两次，那是两个生命从天外漂流而来，就这样如流星般坠落，来到了这里。 She was the second, and in her very form she showed herself to be a mirror to the first.  要我说，她就像一枚硬币的反面，是早于她降临于此的那位少女的另一面。 A dark and purple-dotted sky, a cloudless firmament, a night with no moons...  天空被深紫点缀，不见云与月的踪影。 Maya woke to all this through a blurred view.  刚醒过来的时候，摩耶还看不太清楚周遭的事物。 Her eyes were full of tears.  泪水遮蔽了她的视线。 When she could think, when she could feel, she became overwhelmed by grief and she sobbed into her hands.  意识和知觉才刚刚恢复，悲痛便如排山倒海般袭来，致使她痛苦地捂住自己的脸，泪水不受控制地流下——她被击垮了。 When one comes to this world of glass, they are made anew— Arcaea世界的每一位来访者都会迎来自己的重生—— given "nothing" as a blessing, as a kindness.  「一无所有」其实是一种福气，一种善意的赠予。 But this place, found after the end, is broken— 但这个世界并不完美——自"一切的终结"之后，这个世界早已千疮百孔。 in ways it tries to be perfect, but it is a broken place to its core.  毕竟它已经遭受了不可逆的损伤，因此尽管不断倾尽全力去变得完美，最终也于事无补。 She was born, it seemed, with everything. 这便是她的不幸：她似乎「无所不有」。

15-2 "

She actually welcomed the dark, and felt at ease within silence.  她其实并不排斥黑暗。在死寂之中，她反而感到自在。 Whenever a rare ray bounced from the glass fragments surrounding her, instead it seemed to her like sudden intense light in horrible colors had bombarded her vision.  黑暗中偶尔会有从周遭的碎片折射出来的光束一闪而过，但在她眼里，这些都是丑陋无比的东西，只会令她的双眼感到刺痛及不快。 If a nearby ruin creaked or fell apart, the resulting sounds seemed more like a cacophony of wretched noise accosting her ears: lighter scraping, and the heavier, guttural, almost primordial groans from the earth; with a noise all throughout like high-pitched wind, rising and rising— 每当附近的废墟发出什么东西坍塌或者破碎的声音，不论是微小细碎的摩擦声，还是大地浑厚低沉的颤动，她都感觉无比刺耳，好似尖锐的风声一般在耳边不断嘶吼，愈演愈烈。 If anything broke the shadow and quietness of the night, memory would accost her.  若有什么夺走了她所喜爱的夜晚与宁静，回忆的摇篮也会将她托举。 And while she did not belong here, she was nonetheless pitied.  即使她不属于这个世界，世界也对她无比怜爱。 This unusual girl with two-toned hair and eyes—This strange girl who would often sleep, yet still cry— 这名奇特的少女嗜睡又爱哭，她异色的头发与双眸使她特别。 Arcaea pitied her. Unfortunately, she quickly grew to fear its glass.  Arcaea怜悯她，但很可惜，她并不怎么待见这些喜爱她的碎片。 Shards met with her often enough under the open sky that—although she liked the calm and stillness of the endless night—she began to seek shelter.  她惧怕这些亮闪闪的东西，因为她喜欢无尽黑夜的宁静与深沉。对以四海为家的她来说，高天即是她的穹顶，但那时的她迫切需要一个"藏身之处"：碎片不断地从四面八方涌来，从未消停，她实在是不堪其扰了。 Maya rested within the fractured shells of buildings, and made herself familiar with any cave in this world she might find.  断壁残垣中，摩耶享受着片刻的喘息时间，并借此机会试图了解自身所在的洞窟——这已成为了她的习惯，那就是熟悉这世界上每一个收留过她的洞穴的情况。 Glass was always there too, yes, but without a clear view of the sky it reflected very little. And besides...she could not—and would not—peer within.  其实即便如此，碎片也无处不在，只是相对来说好忍受一些：没有了天空的广袤，碎片并不能折射多少光线，而且她本就不能也不愿去知道碎片里有什么东西。 She would travel through mountains, only seeking peace. She would step through pitch-dark tunnels following forgotten roads.  她不惜跋山涉水去寻找宁静，为了远离纷扰，再高的山她也敢翻越，再黑的路她也敢踏足。 Until she stepped out of a shadowed hall one day, and her eyes caught sight of the daylight border, so very near. 她就这样走啊走，走啊走……直到有一日走出一条昏暗甬道的时候，她终于看到了不远处的那一条光与影的边界。她停下了脚步。

15-3 "

In fact... 实际上…… Those sounds she heard were screams. Those sights she saw were the cause.  她听到的那些声音是人们歇斯底里的尖叫，而她所看到的那些景象便是罪魁祸首。 Bright light fell from the sky in violent pillars, tearing at the earth.  明亮的光柱自天而降，撕裂了大地： Her home became ravaged in what she'd hoped would be seconds, but instead it had been a nightmare of hours.  她的家园毁灭了。她多么希望那痛苦只需持续几秒钟，但实际上，那是一次长达数小时的折磨。 Agonizing, she had—she had...  太痛苦了，好痛，好痛…… She knew people on the other side of the earth, and heard they were dead.  她认得世界另一端的那些人，明白他们应该都是已死之人。 She froze under commands from soon-lost voices.  她听见有人在命令她，令她僵在原地，但那声音很快便消散了。 An entire connection she shared with an entire world was lost over a slow, thorough, and merciless course.  她与那个已逝世界的一切连接、一切羁绊，都在那场缓慢且无情的灾难中化为乌有。 And, with it all gone, she had woken up here—alone in Arcaea.  她失去了一切，随后才在Arcaea中醒来，仍是孤单一人。 And the horizon before her now was like sunset, or—it was like a world on fire.  放眼望去，这个世界远处的地平线朱红一片，似夕阳，更似火海。 Maya crumpled alone at a tunnel's exit, hearing and seeing things that weren't there.  终于，在无数幻听和幻觉的折磨下，摩耶跪倒在甬道的出口。 She shivered and cried, feeling as if a spike was driving through her heart.  尖锐的疼痛如利刃穿过心脏，令她痛哭，令她哀嚎，令她反胃。 Through horrid pain, nausea too began to plague her. Horror after horror, all of it impossible to bear, and one thought worse than all others weighed on her mind like an anchor.  难以忍受的恐慌一波接一波冲击着她的心智，没完没了，而其中最令她不堪回首的更是如巨石般压得她喘不过气来。 One truth that seemed ready to almost kill her:  那令她生不如死的可悲的事实一遍又一遍地提醒着她： "I am still here." "我还在这里。" And her pain, and her heartache, it all cried out beyond her voice.  她的痛苦，她的哀怮，无声但震耳欲聋。 Arcaea would hear all of it. Arcaea听见了一切。

15-4 "

She sits now at a precipice. Outside, she sits between darkness and light.  她现正处于一个边缘，坐在光与影的交界处。 Inside, a tone blares through her ears as she stares wide-eyed and wanting, wishing to no longer think. 脑内的声音仍没有停止，撕扯着她的鼓膜，叫嚣着。她的双眼无神地盯着远处，乞求自己不再需要思考。 It is too late now. These made mistakes are set and done.  太迟了，错误已经犯下，悲剧已经酿成。 The suffering caused, the damage caused—it is all finished. 造成的再多痛苦和损失，也都成为了历史。 The past cannot be reset.  时光无法倒流，过去无法改变。 But can something be done to heal? Can anything, anything at all, be done for a crying girl? 但……真的什么都做不到吗？可否拭去她的泪痕，抚平她的伤疤？ A single piece of glass drifts down from above.  一片碎片自上空飘落，缓缓来到她的身边。 Another. Another. A slow rain of glass falls, until it is a solid wall before and around her, blocking the unseen sun. 两片、三片……越来越多，如细雨般，最终形成了一个茧房般的屏障，将她隔绝于阳光之外。 Take her mind away?  让她喧闹的想法平静下来？ No, it can't be done.  不，不行。 Distract her, coax her?  分散她的注意力？抑或是好好哄哄她？ She is too distracted by herself.  她的注意力已经很涣散了。 What to do for her? What to do, what to do... 怎么办？该怎么办…… The glass uncharacteristically dims. Parts of its shard wall fold down almost like fabric with innumerable parts until she is covered.  碎片一反常态地暗了下来，由它们组成的屏障像细腻柔软的布料开始朝下折叠，直到将她完全包住。 What a silly thing—for glass to think itself soft.  真是令人哭笑不得啊，怎么会有玻璃觉得自己是柔软的呢。 But, odd...But, still: Maya flinches once, and she lifts her head.  但奇怪的是，摩耶抬起了头。尽管畏缩了一下，她最终还是抬起了头…… She finds memory in these shards. 她看到了碎片中的那些东西：记忆。 These shards hold memories of others. She finds memories of sorrow, of hurting, and of humans' faults.  碎片中承载的那些记忆的主角都另有其人，她看到了所承载的那些悲伤和苦痛，看到了人们所犯下的那些错误。 It is all that Arcaea can show to her, and she watches... Arcaea没有其他能给她看的回忆了，而她就这样静静地看着…… ...not bloodshed, not battle, not war...  没有血流成河，没有刀山火海，也没有枪林弹雨。 ...but people alone in their pain, nobody there to share it or understand.  只有痛苦、孤独而又无助的人们，无依无靠，无人可以诉说，更无从谈起抚慰。 What can one do when they know they are alone? 是啊，孤独这样的绝症，又怎会有药可医？ She thinks.  她思索着。 She sees men and women, girls and boys, all crying.  她看到了形形色色的人，男女老少，无一不是泪流满面。 She sees people near the end, with faded photographs in their hands and faint smiles on their faces. 她看见了那些大限将至的人们，无力地笑着，手中还攥着早已褪色的相片。 That is the message from this world to her.  这便是这个世界想要向她传达的： You may feel you will never smile again. You may feel you want to quit.  你觉得自己再也不会感到开心了。你觉得不如就此放弃。 But what is the point in that? 但何必要如此呢？ The past is behind you, but it has left marks upon you that you cannot erase. Some, perhaps many, are marks that you left there yourself.  过去确已过去，它的烙印并不会消失，不过有一些、甚至说大部分"烙印"，其实是你自己给自己上的枷锁。 But you are still here.  你不是还活着吗？ A world is gone, and you are still here. 那个世界的确毁灭了，但你仍在这里。 ... …… ...Please. 求求你…… Stay here. 留下来吧。

15-5 "

"'Stay'...?" "'留下来'……？" A whisper for a whisper. Her voice cracks with this: her first word within Arcaea.  一声低语回答了另一声低语——这是她自来到这个世界后第一次开口讲话。 Through a stinging, dry throat, she repeats half of what she heard. 虽然声音因为喉咙的干涩和疼痛而显得十分沙哑，虽然只是用几不可闻的声音重复部分她所听到的低语…… She bites down and grimaces. She drags teeth against teeth. 她用力咬紧了牙，她的表情因此扭曲。 Her response to the care the world has shown her...  这个世界给予了她许多关爱…… ...is resentment.  而她对此的回应只有忿恨。 She sharpens her gaze, peering more closely into the mirrored wall before her. The images shift as the glass moves.  她的眼神变得锐利，怒视着面前那块用碎片组成的屏障，碎片中的景象正随着碎片的移动而更替： Shards of Arcaea find her new glare and present themselves.  Arcaea发觉她心境的变化后也随之改变了。  Moods somber or gentle are all pushed aside... 现在，阴郁或温婉的情绪都被抛掷一旁…… The sheet of glass ripples as if struck.  碎片之海荡起了涟漪，仿佛受到了冲击般不再光滑平坦。 Maya watches memories— 摩耶看着那些记忆—— —of a man looking back at himself in a mirror with darkness beneath his eyes.  那是一个男人，正在镜中回望自己，他的眼前一片漆黑。 —of a woman standing at a shore at night, her feet dipped into lapping, shallow water.  那是一个女人，站在夜晚的海边，双脚浸入不断拍打着她的水中。 She stares at a necklace in her hand for some time, then eventually holds it out before her and drops it into the sea. 她盯着手中的项链看了好一会儿，最后将它一掷，扔进了海中。 —of a young child dressed in a small black suit. Her sister reaches for her hand, only for it to be struck away. 那是一个孩子，身着黑色的西装，她的姐姐正准备挽起她的手，却被不耐烦地一巴掌拍开。 Maya smiles. She laughs, quietly.  摩耶笑了。那是一抹无声却纵情的笑容。 It's as if these shards are resonating with her—and how terrible if they are. 这些碎片好似在试图与她共鸣般，想想就觉得可悲。 And of course, they are.  这些碎片确实在与她共鸣。 The attempt, the gesture...  这些尝试，这些举动…… She wants to spit at it. 她真想狠狠朝它们啐一口唾沫。 As her breaking, twisted heart twists and breaks all the more, the glass hears her misery all the more well, and brings itself closer—turns itself over, piece by single piece— 随着她破碎而扭曲的心愈发破碎，碎片所感知到的她的痛苦也越来越强烈，并开始一片片翻转，向她聚集、靠拢—— each reflecting more memory than only one: the shards show the other halves of these shattered lives. （####） One by one, growing brighter and brighter...  越来越多，越来越亮…… ...they begin to show how those lives shattered to begin with. ……它们开始像她展示那些人的生活是如何一步步分崩离析的。 She is gripped by their flashing memories of disaster, folly, and failure.  他人的苦难、愚蠢和失败一闪而过，将她的心紧紧攥住。 She is gripped in turn by her own memories of a ravaged world.  她的世界毁于一旦，这份属于自己的回忆让她更加苦不堪言。 She is gripped—physically—by the glass itself as it crawls to her body and binds all around it, twisting about it, tightening and linking like glinting chains until its sharp edges slide up to press at her throat. 碎片毒藤般爬上她的肢体，蔓延、弯折、扭曲，像不怀好意的铁链将她死死缠绕并不断收紧，直至那尖锐的枝条终于抵着她脆弱的脖颈。 She grins wryly. 但她只是嗤笑着。 A weak heart beats... 那颗在不断跳动的虚弱的心脏…… ...but it is not hers. 根本就不是她的。 The glass shivers. It almost even seems to undulate.  碎片颤抖了一下，好似一个人打了个哆嗦。 The light of the shards is all snuffed out in a second, and as the chain pieces tighten, and tighten over her body— 碎片中的光亮在一瞬间熄灭了，捆绑着少女的玻璃锁链也正不断收紧，挤压着她的躯体…… Suddenly, in an abrupt burst of black glitter and a twisting rush of air, the glass all breaks around her,  突然，黑夜闪烁了起来，一阵扭曲猛烈的气旋迅速掠过，她周围的玻璃顷刻间全部碎裂开来。 leaving her to fall to the earth and be once more bathed by the far-off dawn. 她就这么跌落在地上，得以再次沐浴在远处黎明温和的霞光中。 Maya looks up into the dark sky. She looks out at the glowing horizon. She shuts her eyes.  摩耶抬头望向漆黑的天空，随后低头朝远处明亮的地平线看去，然后闭上了眼。 "What...?" "为什么……？" Confusion. Anger. Disappointment.  困惑，愤怒，失落。 The feelings pour into her shaking fist as the distant light warms her shoulders...  温暖的光打在她的肩膀上，让她的身子暖和了起来。这些情感也都毫无保留地灌注进她握紧拳头的颤抖的双手。 However, her shoulders soon go cold.  但是，她很快便不再觉得温暖。 Cautiously, she opens her eyes once more to darkness.  她小心翼翼地再次睁开眼，望向周遭的黑暗。 Fragments of Arcaea have found her again, and formed new walls.  此时，Arcaea又找到了她，又形成了一堵全新的高墙。 A tunnel of shade, a tunnel of glass...  阴影与玻璃，它们组成了一条全新的通道。 ...leading to distant daylight. 在那通道的尽头，是星星点点的日光。

15-6 "

"..." "……" Maya pushes herself partway from the ground. She looks into the dot of far light, and no old memories come to her.  摩耶支起身子，半起身地看着远处的那个光点，过去的记忆已不再冲击着她的脑海。 She turns her head to gaze behind, and the yawning maw where she stepped from only minutes ago gazes back more dark than ever before.  她回头，看见了自己几分钟前刚刚从中走出的巨大豁口，比之前更加深不见底，像一张正在打哈欠的大嘴。 In that darkness, something glints now and then. More glass, surely.  什么东西在那漆黑一团中依稀闪烁——碎片吧，不然还能是什么呢。 She lies between, forced to think. 卡在两个选择之间的她再一次被迫陷入了思考。 There is a choice.  该做出选择了。 There is a choice here.  总要做出选择的。 Let easeful nothingness consume you, or welcome the frightening light.  要么让安逸的虚无就这么吞噬你，要么就主动拥抱那令人胆寒的光芒。 Maya climbs to her knees and thinks on it.  摩耶双膝跪地，思考着。 Angrily, she mutters, "What do you want from me...? To face everything, or to go?" "你到底想要我干什么？面对一切，还是就此放弃？"她愤怒地问道。 Her question is answered with a question.  回答她的是另一个问题。 Faintly, just faintly she can hear it: 她隐隐约约能听见那个声音，它问道： What do you want?  你想要什么？ To that... 对此，她的回答是…… ...Once, at least, she thought she had answers.  以前，她觉得自己起码能够回答这个问题。 I want to stop thinking, she'd thought.  比方说，"我想让自己纷繁复杂的思绪安静下来。" I want to stop remembering.  又比方说，"我想忘记这一切。" I want to disappear.  "我想从这个世界上消失。" I want to suffer.  "我想感受痛苦。" I want to be hurt.  "我想被别人伤害。" I want to be happy.  "我想变得快乐。"…… Now that she's been asked again, she finds one of these answers is likely still true. 现在，当她再次面临这个问题的时候，她觉得当时给出的答案中的其中一个很可能仍然正确。 Her memory is not only of the end.  她所记得的可不仅仅只有"结局"。 Everything she'd had in life is with her. 她所经历的一切，她都记得。 Most of that short life had been wonderful. Every happy moment added that much more weight to the miserable loss.  那短暂人生中的大部分时光是快乐的，但就是如此，这个损失才显得尤为惨重。 And guilt... Guilt seems to eternally stain her for being the one to take it all away.  还有负罪感……自己是将一切都夺走的人的这种感觉永远都将折磨着她。 "..." "……" Silent, she looks ahead again. 她沉默不语，再次将视线投向前方。 Say that you have the chance to be happy, but don't deserve it.  你可以选择变得开心起来，但快乐并不是你应得的。 Say that you have the chance to face judgment, but deeply fear it.  你也可以选择接受审判，但它让你感到恐惧。 In that dilemma, you may not even feel you ought to have the right to choose.  当你身处这种两难的境地，你只会觉得自己实际上并没有选择权。 But, still, say you came to a choice... To some miracle, where the future for you is presented as two clear paths rather than having you blindly walk only one.  不过，假设你必须做出选择的话，假设你真能看到摆在你面前的是两条清晰但不同的道路，而不是一条路蒙眼走到黑，这个时候…… What then? 你会做何选择？ A nebulous age has passed.  前路不明的时代结束了。 An age of uncertainty and empathy—an age brought about by a fool—is over. 飘渺不定与悲天悯人的时代已是历史，由一位愚者一手造就的时代已经过去。 Eyes are open, and what clouds flew under half the sky have thinned.  视野不再狭窄，飞过半边天的云也已变得稀薄。 The stars have faded. The unseen sun's light has dimmed.  星光黯淡了下来，阳光也不再明媚。 And what Maya wanted as she was bound – to be inflicted with pain at the precipice of despair – was summarily rejected.  受束缚的她最大的心愿，便是在绝望的高崖之上饱受苦痛折磨，但这样的愿望并不会实现。 She was instead presented with a choice...  相反地，她得到了选择的权利。 ...for Arcaea wanted this. 因为这才是Arcaea想看到的。 She stands up to face a wall of glass.  她站起身，面前是一堵由玻璃筑成的高墙。 The shards comprising it have all gone black again; no memory is cast out from any one of them.  墙上的碎片开始变得暗淡无光，从中不再有记忆的片段显现。 Instead, her own face stares back at her.  碎片现在所能映射的，便是她的脸庞。 She stares into her two-color eyes, and those eyes drift to the red-bordered petals over her chest... 她看着镜子里自己异色的双瞳，随后又看向她胸前镶着红边的花瓣…… To her right lies one path, and to her left another.  她的左右两侧各有一条蜿蜒开来的小路。 Wind passes over her, running through her hair. 风从她身边拂过，从她的发间逃走。 Inside she feels...new.  她现在觉得自己焕然一新了。 As if someone has seen her. As if a steady hand has been placed at her back.  像有人终于察觉了她，像有一只稳重的手轻轻搭在她的背上。 There isn't any shame in wanting to be happy...  想要快乐并不是什么令人羞耻的事…… And there isn't any shame in sadness. 而感到悲伤也同样不是。 Weigh your heart, weigh reality, and decide.  直视你的心，直面现实，然后做出选择，这样就好。 Maya turns, and begins to step forward. 摩耶转身，向前迈出了第一步。