The subtle art of not giving a 发壳 - 03

Most people want to have great sex and an awesome棒极的 relationship, but not

everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward

silences, the hurt feelings, and the emotional psychodrama心理剧 to get there.

If you think at any point you’re allowed to stop climbing, I’m

afraid you’re missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself.

------CHAPTER 3:You Are Not Special-------

A person who actually has a high self-worth is able to look at the negative

parts of his character frankly.

=====Things Fall Apart :

===The Tyranny of Exceptionalism:

The vast majority of life resides定居 in the humdrum单调 middle. The vast 

majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average.

cook up 编造

Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new

psychological problems. The Internet has not just open-sourced information;

it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame.

The knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane平凡的 existence will 

actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, 

without judgment or lofty高傲的/高级的 expectations.

You will have a growingappreciation for life’s basic experiences: the pleasures 

of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, 

reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.

=====CHAPTER 4 The Value of Suffering===

Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial

pleasures end up more anxious,more emotionally unstable, and

more depressed.

Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction 

and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose.

We consistently make poor assumptions, misjudge probabilities, 

misremember facts,give in to cognitive biases, and make

decisions based on our emotional whims异想天开.

As humans, we’re wrong pretty much constantly, so if your

metric度量标准 for life success is to be right———well, you’re going to have a

difficult time rationalizing使合理化 all of the bullshit to yourself.

The fact is, people who base their self-worth on being right about

everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes. 

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They ★lack the ability to take on new perspectives and empathize同情 with

others. They close themselves off to new and important information.

Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and 

more prolonged持久的/长时间的 negative emotions and to 

emotional dysfunction机能失调.

Negative emotions are a necessary component of emotional health. To 

deny that negativity is to perpetuate使永存 problems rather than solve them.

When we force ourselves to stay positive at all times, 

we deny the existence of our life’s problems.

Good, healthy values are achieved internally.

Bad values价值观 are generally reliant on external events.

Values are about prioritization. Everybody would love a good cannoli奶油煎饼

or a house in the Bahamas. The question is your priorities.