我在西双版纳，脑补了一场HBO的大戏
我一直在想，如果哪天HBO决定来中国来选景，西双版纳绝对是一个特别适合拍摄魔幻现实主义题材的取景地。
I've been thinking that if HBO ever decides to come to China to do some filming, Xishuangbanna would be a great place to shoot magical realism.
充满傣族风情的建筑，似笑非笑的佛教雕塑，况且傣族还有自己的语言和文字。
There are Dai buildings, smiling Buddhist sculptures, and the Dai people have their own language and writing.
哪怕像我一样，对这些文化毫无了解的人，在这里住上几天，也会听人用傣族语说：猫哆哩（小伙子）、哨哆哩（小姑娘）。
Even people like me, who have no knowledge of these cultures, would spend a few days here and hear Dai speakers say "Mao Dori" (young man) and "Shao Dori" (young girl).
这种语言文化艺术上的独特性，跟味觉的独特性是保持一致的。
This uniqueness of language, culture and art is consistent with the uniqueness of taste.
除了云南，从来没见过哪个地方这么钟爱一种烹调方式：舂chong（注意不是春，是舂，舂万物）。
I've never seen anywhere outside of Yunnan that has so much love for one type of cooking: 舂 chong
好像天气和人们的味蕾是对应的，往南方走天气越发温暖燥热，大家的饮食习惯也随之暴躁起来。
It seems that the weather corresponds to people's taste buds, and as the weather gets warmer farther south, so does their eating habits.
不论是鸡爪还是水果，都把舂这种烹调方式发扬光大。
Whether it's chicken feet or fruit, has taken this way of cooking to a new level.
遍布世界各地大型酒店就是特别容易发生离奇故事的地方，那些萧条了两三年的巨型度假酒店，迎来了他们放开以后的第一批客人，酒店本身就充满了悬疑和未知的氛围，感觉发生任何有趣的故事都不为过。
Intercontinental hotels all over the world are places where strange stories happen. Giant resorts, which had been in the doldrums for two or three years, are getting their first customers since the market opened up.The hotel itself is full of suspenseful atmosphere, any interesting story can happen here
西双版纳，就像它的名字一样，是座与众不同且充满故事的城市。
Xishuangbanna, just like its name, is a city with a unique story.
所以我将使用真实的旅游照片+电影剧照一起来编故事！编故事！编故事！
So I'm going to use real travel photos and movie stills. Let's make up stories! Make up stories! Make up stories!
拼凑一个好玩的人物框架，想象一个非线性叙事的类型片选角。
下面我将采用虚实结合的方式进行脑洞大开！
下面我将采用虚实结合的方式进行脑洞大开！
下面我将采用虚实结合的方式进行脑洞大开！
（真的很担心有人以为下面的文字都是真实发生的）
西双版纳洲际酒店大门
洲际酒店门前，挂着各地牌照的汽车徐徐驶入，下客区大排场龙，酒店好久没有这么多的客人了。
In front of the Intercontinental Hotel, cars with license plates from all over the China slowly drove into the parking area. The hotel had not had so many guests for a long time.
所有的员工都站在门口迎接，门童为每一辆下车的客人开门，后备箱里取出成堆的行李，经理带着职业笑容守在人群的最前面，今天她特意穿了一件鲜艳的粉红色外套，特意跟普通员工区别开来。
All the staff stood at the door to greet them, the doorman opened the door for each car and unpacked piles of luggage from the trunk, and the manager, who wore a bright pink coat today to distinguish herself from the ordinary staff, was at the head of the crowd with a professional smile.
她朝着客人们挥手致意，希望大家一下车就注意到她，留下一个好印象。
She waved to the guests, hoping they would notice her and make a good impression as soon as they got off the bus.
此时下午一两点钟，正是西双版纳一天中最热的时候。
It was one or two o 'clock in the afternoon, the hottest time of the day in Xishuangbanna.
所有的员工都穿着最为正式的全套服装，以示对到场来宾的尊重。
All employees are dressed in their most formal outfits to show respect for the guests present.
《白莲花度假村》第二季剧照
车上走下来一群男女老少，他们因为各种不同的原因来到这里。
A group of men, women and children got off the bus. They were there for different reasons.
中年企业家徐总带着两位跟班最先从自己的专职司机驾驶的商务车上下来。
Xu, a middle-aged entrepreneur, was the first to get out of his chauffeur-driven business car with his two minions.
这些年他们的医药器材生意做得风生水起，趁着疫情迅速地占领了市场。
Their medical equipment business has been booming in recent years, taking advantage of the pandemic to quickly capture the market.
此次出行，主要目的是为了犒劳辛苦一年的员工和组织公司团建工作。
The main purpose of this trip is to reward the employees who have worked hard for a year and organize the company's team building work.
徐总本身个子不高，挽起袖子的条纹衬衣紧紧地贴在肚子上面，好像哪怕少一颗扣子都会全部崩开。
Mr. Xu was not tall, and his striped shirt, with its sleeves rolled up, clung tightly to his stomach, as if it would burst open if he missed even one button.
挺着的肚腩前面斜挎着一个新换的商务包，这是成功人士的标配，
In front of his bulging belly hung a brand new business bag, the standard for successful people,
旁边的两位看上去就休闲了许多，短裤加上人字拖，早早地就进入了度假模式。
The two men nearby looked much more relaxed, shorts and flip-flops, and were early in vacation mode.
三个人咋咋呼呼地走进了酒店，侍者本来要去帮忙拎包，谁知两位跟班都在拼命争抢着献殷勤。
The three men entered the hotel noisily. The bellboy was going to help with the bag, but the two footmen were all fighting for attention.
《泰囧》剧照
第二组是从东北专程前来过冬的新婚夫妇。
The second group was newly married couples who had come from northeast China for the winter.
两个人都操着特别重的东北口音，
Both of them spoke with a particularly strong northeast Chinese accent,
前几天结婚时穿的正装已经换成了休闲装扮
The formal dress worn at the wedding a few days ago has been changed into a casual dress
男生一手把刚才攥得褶皱的飞机登机牌塞进了裤包里，
The man tucked the crumpled boarding pass into his pants bag,
腋下还夹着一瓶没喝完的矿泉水
with an unfinished bottle of mineral water under his arm
脸上还洋溢着蜜月的兴奋和喜悦，
His face was full of honeymoon excitement and joy
他冲在车的后面自己打开了后备箱，
He rushed to the back of the car and opened the trunk himself,
拒绝了门童的帮忙，自己两手拎着大包小包，走得踉踉跄跄的，
He refused the porter's help, and staggered along, carrying his bags in his hands,
他们应该是第一次到南方城市来过冬，满眼都充满了新鲜感。
They should be the first time to the southern city for winter, and everything seems fresh to their eyes.
《受益人》剧照
这时，从网约车上面走下来两个人，两个人的气质格外的扎眼。
At the same time, two people stepped down from the car, they look very conspicuous.
油腻的头发和黝黑的皮肤，
Greasy hair and dark skin,
大概是长期熬夜的关系所以两个眼窝都陷得特别深，
It's probably the result of staying up all night so both eye sockets are really deep,
年纪应该不算太大可是头发已经明显的开始严重的向后秃了起来，
I don't think they're that old but they're definitely bald
眉头紧锁地站在热闹的人群旁边，小心翼翼的样子像是怕被人认出来
They stood frowning beside the lively crowd, careful as if they were afraid of being recognized
看上去，他们显然是来帮大哥办事的
It seemed obvious that they were doing their boss a favor
《疯狂的赛车》剧照
角色设计的脑洞开完了，
That's the imagination of character design
其实理论上还可以再增加一组人马，
Theoretically, we could add another set of characters
一共4组顾客，加上酒店工作人员，一共5,6组人马混战在一起，
There were four groups of customers, and the hotel staff, five or six groups in total.
想想这个中国版的度假村故事就跌宕起伏、妙趣横生
The Chinese version of the resort story sounds really fascinating
《白莲花度假村》海报
哈哈，人物设计想象完毕，下面来聊一聊真实的旅行感受
now let's talk about the real travel experience
这里还延续着上个世纪末一般的旅游方式，人潮人海中有点像是等着进入火车站。
It's like being a tourist at the end of the last century, waiting to get into a train station
旁边的大门电子屏幕关着，好像一个不想上班的员工，
The electronic screen next to the door is switched off, like an employee who doesn't want to go to work,
几个中年保安守在大门口。
Several middle-aged security guards stood guard at the gate.
每个保安身边还有一个穿着红色马甲的“义工”在吆喝着：准备好身份证！
Each guard was accompanied by a "volunteer" in a red vest shouting: Get your ID cards ready!
在中国，穿着马甲或者戴着袖章的人通常都不太好对付的，
In China, people wearing red vests or armbands are usually not easy to deal with,
他们一般拥有着比制服们更高的权威感：不让没有带身份证的游客入园。
They have a higher sense of authority than anyone else: they won't let visitors in without ID cards.
很多人站了一早上排了大长队到了门口却被劝退了，好巧不巧，我那天就是没有带身份证。
A lot of people were told to leave after waiting in line all morning, and unfortunately, I didn't have my ID with me that day.
他们指着早已准备好的二维码购票渠道说：这里买票，不用身份证可以入园。
They pointed to the QR code they had prepared and said: 'You can buy tickets here and enter without ID cards.'
我扫了一下二维码，40元一个人，比之前的网络购票贵了几块钱。
I scanned the QR code. It was 40 yuan per person, a few yuan more expensive than the previous online ticket.
到曼听御公园完全是一件计划以外的事情，
A visit to the Royal Park was an entirely unplanned event,
春节期间的版纳打车基本上是一件不可能的事，
Taking a taxi in Banna during the Spring Festival is basically impossible,
全城都没有看到共享单车，但是随处可见青桔电瓶车，竟成了最方便的交通工具。
The whole city did not see any shared bikes, but everywhere you can see Qingju electromobile, the most convenient means of transportation.
头一回骑这个东西，让没有摩托车驾照的我们也能感受一把《速度与激情》，
Riding the electric bike for the first time allowed us to experience the Fast and Furious without motorcycle licenses,
“狂飙”在街头巷尾，此情此景，非常《泰囧》。
Riding through the streets of Xishuangbanna is like a scene from Lost in Thailand.
骑着小电驴在距离曼听公园还有几百米就已经快走不动了，人群都朝着一个方向涌动。
Within a few hundred metres of the Royal Park it was hard to move, the crowd all flowing in one direction.
从酒店一路骑车过来，突然掉落到中国城乡结合部。
Biking all the way from the hotel, suddenly dropped into the urban fringe of China.
酒店里本来应该是一出类似于《白莲花度假村》一般的凶杀大戏；
There was supposed to be a murder drama in the White Lotus Resort;
到了曼听公园附近，只能是双雪涛笔下的中国警匪剧，
Around the Royal Park, it feels like nothing but Chinese police dramas written by Shuang Xuetao,
当然发生地要从东北挪到云南的最南端，出品方还得是爱奇艺的迷雾剧场。
The location will be moved from the northeast of China to the southernmost part of Yunnan, and the production will have to be iQiyi's Miwu Theater.
我不懂佛教，不妨碍我把他们单纯地当成艺术品来欣赏。
I know nothing about Buddhism, but that doesn't stop me from appreciating them purely as works of art.
园区里有双手合十的佛像，手上戴着金色的饰品，
There are Buddha statues with folded hands wearing gold ornaments,
那模样很像86版《西游记》里的人物，面相都似笑非笑的，
They look like the characters in the 86 version of Journey to the West. They all look like smiling faces.
让人想起西方的蒙娜丽莎画像或者断臂的维纳斯雕像。
It reminds me of the Mona Lisa in the West or the Venus with her arms cut off.
这尊雕像面目狰狞，龇牙咧嘴。一眼看过去，恍若《山海经》里走出的人物，
也像是老家在尼泊尔或者巴厘岛的什么神灵。
大脸盘上横眉瞪眼，摄人心魄的眼珠子直勾勾地盯着人，鼻孔怒撑着，
络腮胡子上配着一副能镇妖驱邪的表情，
獠牙好像被人故意掰断了顶部。
走近了再瞧，简直能听见它能发出声响一般，吟唱出一段梵语的经文。
我不清楚它的具体背后故事或者来历，
但是一段紧张刺激的配乐已经在脑海中盘旋，后来我竟然把这段旋律也搜出来了，
没有听过的朋友一定一定要听一下，是Cristobal Tapia de Veer配乐的Renaissance，
古典唯美的前奏响起，后面突然画风一转荒诞又失控的混搭，
神像就像是一个电影中的一个特写镜头。
我找到了类似的电影电视镜头参考图：
从美术设定的角度上来说，西双版纳有太多符合这样审美的艺术品了。
特别是逛完曼听公园又走进总佛寺以后，这种感受更为强烈。
那种透着东南亚风情又混杂着热带泥土芬芳的独有的建筑美学
The unique architectural aesthetics of Southeast Asia mixed with the fragrance of tropical earth
略带惊悚或者暴力的传统文化，是东方审美里不可替代的文化。
The traditional culture with slight horror or violence is an irreplaceable culture in Oriental aesthetics.
尤其是现在像《中国奇谭》这样的民族审美越发被人们所接受的时候。
Especially now, the national aesthetic such as Chinese Legend is increasingly accepted by people.
真是一步一人物，一步一配乐。
Every extra step reminds me of a movie character or a soundtrack.
那挥舞着狼牙棒，身批金蓝色铠甲，威风凌凌立于庙宇之上，脚踏祥云莲花履的武将形象。
There was a warrior wielding a mace, wearing a golden blue armor and auspicious cloud lotus shoes, standing majestically above the temple.
想必有朝一日，他们定会成为中国热血动画的主角。
In the future, he will definitely become the protagonist of Chinese hot-blooded animation.
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